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Sarah Edmondson

Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult That Bound My Life

by Sarah Edmondson (Author), Kristine Gasbarre Format: Hardcover

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As seen in the HBO docuseries THE VOW: The shocking and subversive memoir of a 12-year-NXIVM-member-turned-whistleblower, and her inspiring true story of abuse, escape, and redemption.

"'Master, would you brand me? It would be an honor.' From the second I climb onto the table, acutely aware that I am lying in the sweat of my sisters, I will have blocked that out. Lying there completely naked, I am at my most vulnerable but determined to prove my strength. I try to keep my legs closed as my body wills itself to protect my most private area. . . . I tell myself: I am a warrior. I birthed a human. I can handle pain. But nothing could have ever prepared me for the feel of this fire on my skin."

Scarred is Sarah Edmondson's compelling memoir of her recruitment into the NXIVM cult, the 12 years she spent within the organization (during which she enrolled over 2,000 members and entered DOS—NXIVM's "secret sisterhood"), her breaking point, and her harrowing fight to get out, to expose Keith Raniere and the leadership, to help others, and to heal. Complete with personal photographs, Scarred is also an eye-opening story about abuses of power, female trust and friendship, and how sometimes the search to be "better" can override everything else.

• In the tradition of Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman, Escape by Carolyn Jessop, and Troublemaker by Leah Remini
• This tell-all follows Sarah from the moment she takes her first NXIVM seminar, to the invitation she accepts from her best friend, Lauren Salzman, into DOS, to her journey toward become a key witness in the federal case against its founders
• Evokes questions about friendship, ethics, good and evil, making it a brilliant selection for book clubs

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Print length

248 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Chronicle Prism
Publication date

September 17, 2019
Dimensions

6.3 x 1.1 x 9.3 inches
ISBN-10

1452184267
ISBN-13

978-1452184265

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Editorial Reviews

Review

*One of Town Country’s 10 Best Fiction Nonfiction Books About Cults*

"If you were enthralled by the HBO docuseries, The Vow, or Starz’s Seduced, then Sarah Edmondson’s memoir is required follow-up reading." --Town Country

"At once riveting and disturbing, Scarred is a brave but messy stab at redemption." —The New York Times

*One of Town Country’s 10 Best Fiction Nonfiction Books About Cults*

"If you were enthralled by the HBO docuseries, The Vow, or Starz’s Seduced, then Sarah Edmondson’s memoir is required follow-up reading." --Town Country

"You've probably heard of the alleged sex cult that turned well-intentioned women into sex slaves and was shuttered following an FBI investigation. What you may not know is that the bust may never have happened without Sarah Edmondson." -Refinery29

"Sarah Edmonson wrote a subversive memoir about NXIVM you have to read after The Vow." -Bustle.com

"Sarah Edmonson wrote a subversive memoir about NXIVM you have to read after The Vow." -Bustle.com

"You've probably heard of the alleged sex cult that turned well-intentioned women into sex slaves and was shuttered following an FBI investigation. What you may not know is that the bust may never have happened without Sarah Edmondson." -Refinery29

"At once riveting and disturbing, Scarred is a brave but messy stab at redemption." —The New York Times

"Scarred complicates the prevailing belief that cult members are naïve or weak-minded, or from traumatized backgrounds, and reveals this for the oversimplification that it is. The illumination of these manipulation techniques goes a long way to solving the mystery of why people sign up, and why they stay." -The Globe and Mail

"Scarred complicates the prevailing belief that cult members are naïve or weak-minded, or from traumatized backgrounds, and reveals this for the oversimplification that it is. The illumination of these manipulation techniques goes a long way to solving the mystery of why people sign up, and why they stay." -The Globe and Mail

About the Author

Sarah Edmondson is an actress and voice-over artist. She is featured in the CBC investigative podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM and The Vow, the HBO documentary series on NXIVM.

Kristine Gasbarre is the author of the memoir How to Love an American Man, as well as the co-writer of the #1 New York Times bestselling Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra. Her work has been featured in such media outlets as People, Glamour, and the Oprah Winfrey Network.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Chronicle Prism
Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 17, 2019
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Print length ‏ : ‎ 248 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1452184267
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1452184265
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.41 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.3 x 1.1 x 9.3 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #194,053 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #46 in Religious Cults (Books)
- #2,082 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
- #2,355 in Memoirs (Books)
Customer Reviews:
(1,534)

About the author

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Sarah Edmondson

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Sarah Edmondson had been working in film, TV, and voiceover when she first encountered NXIVM—a personal and professional development company that promised to offer the tools to unlock her full potential. From 2005 to 2017, she went from student to coach, eventually running her own NXIVM center in Vancouver. After being invited to join DOS, a secretive “sisterhood” within NXIVM, Sarah questioned the organization’s true intentions and became one of its most prominent whistleblowers.

In 2019, Sarah published Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life with Kristine Gasbarre. Her whistleblower story is also featured in The Vow, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM. Now based in Atlanta, Sarah and her co-host/husband Anthony “Nippy” Ames continue the conversation with their podcast A Little Bit Culty, and book of the same name. Her TEDx talk, “How to spot a cult,” is featured on TED and has been viewed over 1.6 million times.

Customer reviews

1,534 global ratings

How customer reviews and ratings work

Customers say

Customers find this memoir a must-read that they couldn't put down, with a harrowing and cautionary tale that Sarah tells from her heart. The book provides great insight into NXIVM and is easy to read, with one customer completing it in just two days. They appreciate the writing quality, with one review highlighting the author's creative use of diction and prose. Customers describe the book as heartfelt, with one noting how it made them feel like they were on the journey with the author.

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53 customers mention content, 52 positive, 1 negative

Customers find the book's content engaging and inspiring, describing it as a must-read and an intensive read.

This is a great book if you are interested in learning more about NXIVM from the inside. It was easy to read and hard to put down.Read more

...How had I ended up here?” Sarah Edmondson explains in this riveting, first-person cautionary tale account of how the Nxivm cult operated....Read more

...This is a great read and a useful tool for self preservation in this day and age of covert gurus. Highly recommended.Read more

I really enjoyed this book. It was easy to read and very relatable. I found it interesting that distance really helped Sarah keep her own mind....Read more

20 customers mention engaging, 19 positive, 1 negative

Customers find the book engaging, describing it as captivating and hard to put down, with one customer noting how the author's vulnerability makes it particularly interesting to read.

...I couldn't put it down! Thank you for being so brave and telling us what you've been through. It must be so difficult to articulate and relive....Read more

Very informative. A book you can’t put downRead more

...this book very much I ended up reading it in one sitting I could not put it down....Read more

...It was easy to read and hard to put down.Read more

19 customers mention story, 19 positive, 0 negative

Customers find the book's story riveting and honest, describing it as a harrowing and cautionary tale that Sarah tells from her heart.

Amazing story. So impressed with Sarah's strength and bravery! I was also raised in a cult and I receive so much comfort in reading these experiences.Read more

Incredible story. The book is very well written. Love love love it!Read more

Great story of how easy it is to get sucked in by a high control group. I really empathized with her.Read more

Brave Sarah. Very detailed story of 12 years of highs and lows and how someone can be manipulated in a very unbelievable way....Read more

18 customers mention informative, 18 positive, 0 negative

Customers find the book informative and detailed, providing great insight into NXIVM, with one customer noting how it fills in many questions about the organization.

I loved this book. I admire Sarah's courage. It was well written and informative.Read more

Very informative. A book you can’t put downRead more

I think this is THE BEST and most informative book that has been written by a cult survivor....Read more

...reading this book beside Ron Cantor’s book When Shepherds Prey was eye-opening....Read more

16 customers mention readability, 12 positive, 4 negative

Customers find the book easy to read, with several mentioning they finished it in one sitting, and one customer completing it within just a few days.

I really enjoyed this book. It was easy to read and very relatable. I found it interesting that distance really helped Sarah keep her own mind....Read more

Quick read giving insight into how someone can be manipulated so greatly. It’s both intriguing and heartbreaking from start to finish.Read more

...This is not an easy book to read, but Cantor does a good job in spelling out the characteristics and tactics of Clergy Sexual Abuse and given...Read more

I really enjoyed this book very much I ended up reading it in one sitting I could not put it down....Read more

14 customers mention writing quality, 12 positive, 2 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book, with one customer noting its excellent prose and another highlighting its deep dive into the NXIVM cult.

...This book is thoughtful, well written and worth the read. Also check out her and her husbands podcast. It’s fantastic :)Read more

...Sarah Edmondson is a terrific writer, and in this book you really go on the journey with her into, through, and out of the cult, with all her...Read more

Sarah's a great writer and this book was very moving. The awful things her and husband and friends went through is mind blowing....Read more

Incredible story. The book is very well written. Love love love it!Read more

9 customers mention emotional, 9 positive, 0 negative

Customers find the book emotionally engaging, with one customer describing it as a journey of heartbreak and another noting how it felt like they were on the journey with the author.

Precise yet heartfelt. A cautionary tale based on personal experience without dramatic license or exaggeration. Soberly told but full of compassion.Read more

...It's more than admirable, it's pivotal. And her resilience, optimism, and dedication to the belief that people are ultimately good were inspiring to...Read more

...It’s both intriguing and heartbreaking from start to finish.Read more

...I really felt like I was on the journey with you… I don’t know, I can go on and on....Read more

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