seems i never get enough of me.

Hi, all. I'm new.
So, the baisics: I'm Lisa, I'll be nineteen in a week or so. I started cutting my freshman year in high school, so that makes it...about 6 years or so. This is the whole reason I started this journal. I didn't tell anyone about it purely so I could join a community like this one without anyone I know having to know about it. I just wanted somewhere I could write about things that I can't in my regular journal (which is juego_de_sangre</span>).
I haven't done it in a while. Probably about a month (which for me, is a long time). I did once, about a week ago, but it was one of those isolated incident type things.
But today, I just feel shitty. Lately I haven't really felt like having sex. At all. Which is weird for me (I almost never turn down sex, which has gotten me into trouble afew times). And tonight I felt bad because I haven't had sex with my boyfriend in weeks, so I just let him do it. And now I feel...dirty. Like a cheap hooker. I can't tell him because he would feel awful. He kept asking me if I was sure, and telling me we didn't have to if I didn't want to, but I just felt so bad.
I was just wondering if anyone else had ever felt like this, because this has never happened to me.