Hey! :)
Another Plain Jane here.
Well, except... you know, when I'm at home, I don't think I'm all that ugly. I don't hate looking in the mirror. I think I have a pretty good body. I like being pale, and while I find having acne annoying (I'm 24!), it doesn't make me want to kill myself or something.
But as soon as I leave the house, I feel like shit. Like everyone is staring at my face and my hair and thinking how ugly and sickly I look. And when I'm not feeling like shit, I feel invisible. I bet I could parade down the street naked and no one would notice.
I guess this is because I was bullied for of my looks during pretty much my whole time in school. I graduated almost six years ago, but on some days I still can't shake the feeling that the next random person (mostly teenagers or people my age) I pass will insult me in some way.
So, while I "secretly" think I'm OK-looking or even pretty, I would never ever consider that anybody else would honestly find me OK-looking or pretty as well, even when they say they do.
I also can't stand when somebody is criticizing the way I look. For example, when someone is telling me to put on some make up or wear a skirt because that would make me look so much prettier and more "feminine". Gah! I hate make up. The few times I ever wore any I ended up looking like a silent film diva, and not in a good way, lol. Plus, I've got better things to do in the morning than to put on make up. And wearing a skirt = being feminine? This is 2009, for God's sake...
I've also never had a boyfriend. I've never even kissed someone. There were guys who wanted to date me, though. But they all just pissed me off because I felt that they didn't even know who I was, and the only reason they wanted to date me was them thinking that they had better chances with me than with some better looking girl - because, plain as I am, I must take what I can get, right? I also hate the assumption that since I am very shy and plain-looking I must be soooo sweet and have such a good personality. I don't! I'm shallow and sarcastic and bitchy and have flaws like everyone else, no matter what they look like. Gah.
Wow, this got long. Sorry for this silly TMI rant, I just had to get this off my chest...
Another Plain Jane here.
Well, except... you know, when I'm at home, I don't think I'm all that ugly. I don't hate looking in the mirror. I think I have a pretty good body. I like being pale, and while I find having acne annoying (I'm 24!), it doesn't make me want to kill myself or something.
But as soon as I leave the house, I feel like shit. Like everyone is staring at my face and my hair and thinking how ugly and sickly I look. And when I'm not feeling like shit, I feel invisible. I bet I could parade down the street naked and no one would notice.
I guess this is because I was bullied for of my looks during pretty much my whole time in school. I graduated almost six years ago, but on some days I still can't shake the feeling that the next random person (mostly teenagers or people my age) I pass will insult me in some way.
So, while I "secretly" think I'm OK-looking or even pretty, I would never ever consider that anybody else would honestly find me OK-looking or pretty as well, even when they say they do.
I also can't stand when somebody is criticizing the way I look. For example, when someone is telling me to put on some make up or wear a skirt because that would make me look so much prettier and more "feminine". Gah! I hate make up. The few times I ever wore any I ended up looking like a silent film diva, and not in a good way, lol. Plus, I've got better things to do in the morning than to put on make up. And wearing a skirt = being feminine? This is 2009, for God's sake...
I've also never had a boyfriend. I've never even kissed someone. There were guys who wanted to date me, though. But they all just pissed me off because I felt that they didn't even know who I was, and the only reason they wanted to date me was them thinking that they had better chances with me than with some better looking girl - because, plain as I am, I must take what I can get, right? I also hate the assumption that since I am very shy and plain-looking I must be soooo sweet and have such a good personality. I don't! I'm shallow and sarcastic and bitchy and have flaws like everyone else, no matter what they look like. Gah.
Wow, this got long. Sorry for this silly TMI rant, I just had to get this off my chest...
