So, This Is HOW MANY Holes In My Head Now?

So I've watched the first 4 eps of Merlin and less than one day into this show, I've already started reading fic. *is screwed*

It's not brilliant, it's not even remotely clever. It's formulaic, anachronistic and inaccurate. It's also very pretty, and Very, Very Gay. It is, in other words, Candy-Coated Fangirl!Crack.

Have a pitiful excuse for a recap of my thoughts so far.

The Beginning

OBLIGATORY COLD OPEN

No young man, no matter how great, can glimpse his destiny BLAH BLAH BLAH YES WE SEE MERLIN WALKING YES WE KNOW HE'S GONNA MAKE HISTORY AND DO ALL THIS CRAZY COOL STUFF WITH ARTHUR CAN WE JUST GET TO THE GAY NOW?? KTHNX.

P.S.) EARS! OMG so adorkable.

EPIC CREDITS ARE EPIC

PHALLIC SWORD: *is phallic*
RANDOM RUNES: *are random*
PRETTY CASTLES: *are pretty*
Y HALO THAR RECYCLED ORC: RAR!! Low-budget series is low-budget! RAAAAARRR!!!*
SNAKE: *hiss!*
CHAR: SNAKE! *applause* [/one-word!perv]
GAY DRAGON: *SWOOSH~!!* RAR!
LOGO: *kinda disappointing*
CHAR: :/

AND SO IT BEGINS

Blah blah blah Merlin likes Camelot DUDE I DIDN'T KNOW MEDIEVAL BRITS USED SHOFARS LOLOLOL.

Ruh-roh. NO MAGIC ALLOWED OMG SEE MERLIN ANGST. ANGST, MERLIN, ANGST!

HI, GILES!! HI!!! *wavewave*

Is that a Star Of David pattern on the window?? XD XD XD XD!!!

OLD LADY: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH OMGWTF HOW COULD YOU DO THAT YOU KILLED MY SON YOU PUTZNASHER. AN EYE FOR AN EYE, A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH, A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES *WHOOSH!* (*disappears*)
GILES UTHER: Oy vey.
MERLIN: *freaks adorkably*

A BUNCH OF "PLOT" CRAP THAT CHAR'S TOO LAZY TO TYPE UP: *happens, brings great lulz*
GUINEVERE: *is black*...*and hot*
CHAR: Whoa! XD
MORGANA: *is hot*
LANCELOT: *is not appearing in this episode*
CHAR: Aw, man!!

THE FATEFUL MEETING

ARTHUR: *is a jackass*
MERLIN: You're a jackass.
ARTHUR: Oh, yeah? SO'S YOUR FACE.
CHAR: ♥♥♥

CHAR: I mentioned Eve Myles plays Random Singing Sorceress Lady who's been taken over by Angry Mommy from scene 1, right? Right. Ok. Good.

MORE PLOT CRAP THAT CHAR'S TOO LAZY TO TYPE UP: *happens, brings more lulz*

So basically, Merlin hates Arthur, Arthur hates Merlin, but those pesky morals and principles step in and Merlin saves his life from Singing Sorceress Lady because he HAS TO and as a reward Uther makes him Arthur's personal MANSERVANT (*applause!* [/one-word perv]) so now they're STUCK WITH EACH OTHER and LET THE SLASHFIC COMMENCE!

And yeah. Merlin stops snakes, meets Nimue and gets a Very Special Flower from Arthur despite Uther's best efforts omg Uther how COULD you HE JUST WANTED MERLIN TO DEFLOWER HIM OMG. All in the first 4 eps.

Oh, and there's a 'shippy Yenta!dragon who totally pushes Merlin into Arthur's pants down his path to his destiny because A/M is his OTP he's totally going to be Merlin's uber-cryptic non-human mentor.

In Conclusion:
GAAAAAAAAAAY.
*thumbs-up!*