First Snow

Chapter 4: In the Palm of the Frozen Hand

Grandma spread her wrinkled hands over the kotatsu. Ao's heart was shaken quietly but more violently than ever before.

What on earth had I been doing?

Endlessly gathering corporate data online, obsessing over "job-hunting difficulty" and "average salary" on review sites, searching only for "safe bets" where I would never fail.

In the uncertain ocean of job hunting, I had been scrolling my smartphone screen all day, searching for a perfect life jacket—a guarantee so I wouldn't drown.

But the more I looked for "spoilers of life" beyond the screen, the more the cold rejection emails seemed to deny my "mediocre right hand," leaving me frozen in place.

The reason Grandma won the "jackpot" of her life wasn't because of a perfect simulation or calculation.

It began with a chance moment in the snowy, unpredictable reality of Otaru, where she walked without fear of getting hurt, slipped, and fell.

"The truly important connections in life all start from such chance moments.

If you only look for paths with a guarantee that you won't get hurt, your grandfather and I would have passed each other by on that snowy day, and you wouldn't even be here, Ao. So, don't shrink back in fear of failure.

Good fortune never rolls into the hands of someone who just sits in their apartment staring at a smartphone screen."

Grandma's words gently melted the icy core of my heart, just like the warmth of the kotatsu.

I picked up a piece of Niikuraya dango and put it in my mouth.

The sweet-savory soy glaze and chewy texture relaxed my tense mouth. As I gulped down the hot green tea, the cold lump that had been stuck in my throat for so long seemed to slip away.

"...I was always so scared. Scared of failing, and being told that I'm someone nobody needs. But you and Grandpa started walking together, holding each other's hands, in a place with no guarantees at all."

"That's right. A life where you know everything in advance would be boring, wouldn't it? Ao, your right hand is a hand that can draw schematics, run electricity, and create the future. It's a waste to think your life is over just within that tiny screen. You're a splendid magician, after all."

I stared at the palm of my right hand. The fingertips that I had coldly worn out just to swipe away rejection emails. But Grandma called the wiring diagrams drawn by this hand a "magic" that lights up the dark.

I pulled out my phone as it began to vibrate in my pocket. Without looking at the screen even once, I pressed and held the power button. The screen went completely dark. Then, showing her my right hand, I gripped it tightly and shoved the phone deep into my pocket.

"...Yeah. Grandma, I'm going to try again, with my own hands."
Hearing my words, Grandma puckered her wrinkled face even more, nodding with genuine joy.

📖 Next: Epilogue：https://note.com/ttukumoo/n/ne18f746fcb18
📖Previous Chapter:https://note.com/ttukumoo/n/n8fb213dfc60d
🌐 Original Japaneseher:https://note.com/juicy_laelia8513/n/n5307c6aa6151

"Thank you so much for reading to the very end!"💗