I am about to rant, but I shall preface it with a disclaimer: I am not a vegan. I am not even vegetarian. I had some delicious corned beef tonight; my favorite boots are leather; hell, I even did the whole frog dissection thing in Bio last year. Many an animal has died for me.


That said, WTF IS UP WITH FUR? Lately I've been seeing rabbit fur accessories in all the teen departments--Candie's, for example, has this disgusting scarf made of magenta fur balls on a string. Who wants that? It's atrocious, for one; expensive, for two; they make really attractive fake fur, for three; and animal-lovers everywhere will give you so. much. shit. for wearing it.Seriously, just stop.

But now I understand that they never will stop, because people are stupid. "But Kelley," you ask, "How can you be sure?" Two words: Fur yarn.




Fur.



Yarn.



FUR MOTHERFUCKING YARN.

As in, "yarn made from long strips of beaver, mink, fox, and muskrat pelts." It is YARN that is made of FUR and Sweet Little Baby Jesus WHY. Why does this exist?!? Why has this been allowed to exist since, apparently, 1979?? It's not only a monumentally BAD idea, it's icky-sounding. When I touch fur, I think "dead thing." It happens with fur just as it does when I touch a dried starfish or sand dollar*. Not "coat," not "decoration," definitely not "YARN," for Christ's sake---DEAD THING. Also, I've seen fur get all yucky and matted and smelly and gross--I don't want to knit with that, because, ew.

You can see the icky icky icky FUR YARN here: http://furyarn.com/main/content.php?page=0 It is a big ugly URL and not a nice cute link because it seems to go batshit insane when you click it, so just copy and paste.



Once more, for effect:


FUR MOTHERFUCKING YARN.

Dammit. That's all.




*Leather does not have the same effect, nor does red meat; lobsters and crabs do. It must have to do with how much it looks like it did when it was alive.