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Friday, November 15th, 2002
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4:41p
For once in my life I think I'm very much out of the loop.
Not much as gone on these past couple of weeks. I had a talk with Ron and watched a muggle movie with Draco all in the same night a couple of weeks ago, but other than that, I've been pretty much keeping to myself. I'm not sure it's so much that I want to be alone as it is everyone is just so busy or caught up in whatever is going on in their own lives.
Maybe I am being avoidant. Especially when it concerns Draco. Things are so confusing when it comes to him. Not just things. Everything. It's like my brain is telling me not to fall for his charms but my heart is stronger than my head and I just fall all over myself whenever I'm around him. Is this what falling in love is like? Oh Gods, I hope not. Falling in love with Draco Malfoy would be emotional suicide.
I guess I've just been feeling a bit lonely lately. I suppose that's what happens when most of the people you know are a year ahead of you. Harry, Ron, and Hermione have their impenetrable trio. Draco has his Slytherins. I'm not sure I know where I fit in anymore. Lord, even I have to sit back and scoff at myself over that. I've never let any kind of self-defeatist attitude get me down before. Merlin knows why I've started now. I've probably just caught myself in a mood.
Anyway, there's studying to do, materials to read, letters to write (I haven't sent one off to Fred and George in quite a while). Distractions are certainly never a bad thing.
current mood:  apathetic (comment on this)
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