Okay so I'm almost certain now that this semester will be my last here at UNF. Things are falling apart academically and it really bothers me. I'm financially unstable and it only happens like that when I'm here in Jax because I can't find a job here. So here's my idea/plan...withdraw from UNF after this semester and move back home. Live at my parents house and go back to work at Dominos making $12-15 an hour until I can get my finances under control and then save up for an apartment. Find a room mate probably and move out of the house. Then once that's all under control I'll enroll at OWC back home and take classes here and there...possibly some business management classes and exercise sciences and one day open my own gym/fitness center. Sounds good to me....

In this New Year I will try to love myself more, I will try to really learn to play my new electric guitar because I need something positive in my life since I can no longer play softball...*tear* I've met someone...who completely takes my breath away...and its an unexpected crush that I hope progresses further and further everyday...which it is. She is great. So adorable...cute laugh amazing green eyes, irish, FSU bio major...hometown is basically my hometown...problem is she's never been good at distance...the only time we'd be apart for periods of time is when we're at school..our schools are only 2 hours away from eachother. Did Danielle's pushing me away mean something? Was Shannon supposed to come into my life like this? Is this something that I need to keep my walls down for and let in? I don't know but it sure does feel great...I feel overall generally happy again. Wow

Don't you love the holidays? The time when you can connect or re-connect with friends and just be happy all the time. It's even better when you have someone special to share good fond memories with. This Christmas for me is a time of new friendships...not so much love or relationships with anyone. It is a new thing for me really but it probably is a good thing. It would be nice to have someone to spend a nice holiday evening with but for now I'll take what my friends have to give, because I've met some GREAT and AWESOME people this semester and I'm beginning to enjoy life a lot more now. I was recently home for Thanksgiving and that was great. I hadn't been home to Crestview since early september and I honestly can't wait to go back next week...get to stay there for a whole month. I'm excited. It's always nice to go home...and I'm gettin to that point in my life where I like to go home as much as I can...about 4 years ago you wouldn't hear me saying things like that. I guess my relationship with my parents and family have developed into a healthy one and I enjoy their company. Plus I'm old enough to just leave and go out whenever I want and not get yelled at for anything. I miss my cats and my turtles...and my friends back home, the ones who got stuck there. Yeah I can't wait to go chill with Sarah again...that was a blast. Anyways, I miss all of you who know me and I haven't heard from in a while. Hit me up to chat sometime!!! Happy Holidays!!!!

Okay tomorrow morning I leave for Nashville, TN with my buddie Courtney...it's gonna be SO much fun! I'm so excited...tonight will be fun too...gonna cut my hair myself hehe. It's been a while since I done that so wish me luck. Anyways I'm outta here...gonna chill till Court gets off work..Shout at yall later!

Okay so its been a month since I wrote in this damn thing lol...OOPS! Anyways don't forget to VOTE TODAY!!! We need regime change for real...stop the hate stop the discrimination...Equal rights for all. Ok I'm done with my speel...I just wantd to say hello to all who keep up with my antics via livejournal...sorry I've been a bore lately lol. Check out my new pic tho...from Halloween! Catch yall later I'm off to lab.

Okay so tonight I went to Metro with all my buds to see RuPaul. It was $10 to get into the door, and well I guess they didnt expect such a great turnout...basically the club was over max capacity and I didn't even get to watch her show...damnit. I mean we pushed our way close enough to the stage to see but it was SO hot in there and people were pushing into me...granted my leg is NOT full strength yet and it was about to give out to the pressure and then I would have been trampled. So I started pushing back...everything got better. Then BAM I was about to pass out from the heat. So Ashley my best bud made me get out of there. We sat around a little letting me recoup then realized that I needed to get out of there and fast. So we pushed our way back thru the crowd and now I'm here...I feel better. Will probably get into bed since there isnt anyone to talk to. Plus I'm thinking about my baby hard core. I miss her SO much and I wish she could have been with me tonight....soon though. I can't wait to bring her to Metro with me...maybe then I'll be left alone...THANK GOD. Plus I just want to be able to wrap my arms around her and kiss her all I want. I miss you Melissa!!!

I got to see my baby! YAY...I'm still hanging out in Tallahasse tho so for all those who didn't know where I was, I'm here and safe. I'll be attempting to get back to Jax later on today when the rain passes some more. Anywho I'm off here...I love you baby!

Okay so Hurricane Jeanne is piping her way towards us once again. Hopefully my money shows up tomorrow or else if we have to leave campus this weekend I won't be able to...cause I don't have money for gas. GRRRR. What to do. I'm so sick of this bullshit weather!

Okay so today was SO boring. I was done with class by noon and since I couldn't go to softball practice due to stupid medical stuff that still isn't done I sat around my room for like ever. I went to the PRIDE meeting at 7...it wasnt long but then the "lesbian brigade", Laura, Lauren, Ashley, Ashley, Stacey, and Courtney along with myself all came to my room to watch Ellen Degeneres. That was fun. Now I'm just sitting here at my desk listening to music, waiting for my baby to get home from Jazz Ensemble. I don't think she's gonna get online tonight though cause she's tired, only got 2 hrs of sleep lastnight. Poor thing. I hope she calls me at least tho to say goodnight. I miss her :( I just have this feeling that this time around with her will be great. Like I feel that it's going to be better than before. We have both grown up so much and we are different people in some aspects. It's just going to be a more mature relationship. I feel good about this and that is something I've needed for a long time. Hopefully the stuff my mom sent me in the mail last week will get here before this weekend so I can possibly go to Tallahassee saturday morning bright and early to see her. Because I REALLY need to see her. I'm so falling all over again. Her and I used to date back when we were seniors in HS, and then once again during sophomore year of college. So basically I haven't seen her in person in like 3 yrs...its about time to. I need it. I just want to hold her close. I love you baby!

I friggin hate hurricanes and the military SO much right now. Military bases freak SO bad after hurricanes that they don't even require the damn hospital workers and shit to come back until a week later! I need to talk to them now!...cause if I can't get the stuff I need TODAY I might not be able to start practice tomorrow damn it. Damn the man. So yeah I made the softball team, WOOT WOOT for me! Yaya, that's a great highlight to my week so far, other than the fact that I'm so falling in love. Now to make my week a hell of a lot better I need the stupid campus mail center to deliver the stuff my mom sent me LAST WEEK, just a letter! GRRRR. I hate this. Hell week has begun. Someone please cheer me up :(....then on top of everything else I haven't talked to my girl in like two days, she hasn't even been able to congratulate me on making the team...if she even knows I made it. Poor girl works so hard, but I love her. Hey hon call me when you get a chance. Today I am done with class, all I have left is lab from 1-5, then at 5:30 I'm down in the training room for a physical....but then I'm home. So yeah call me...if you cant get ahold of me on my room fone 904-620-5657...call my cellie which you know the # for...I love you! Have a great day