Dial the combination, open the priesthole...

In which our heroine is bored and doing old surveys she did ten years ago.

2012-12-10T03:28:33Z

1. Full Name: Kat will do.
2. Were you named after anyone? Yes, I was named after a grandmother that I'm not even related to.
3. Do you wish on stars? Occasionally.
4. Which finger is your favorite? My right middle finger is helpful in two things involving the term "fuck"...
5. When did you last cry? Yesterday.
6. Do you like your handwriting? I have several... I like it occasionally.
7. What is your favorite lunch meat? Lebanon bologna; roast beef; hard salami.
8. Any bad habits? Smoking, laziness, vulgarity, cattiness... probably many more.
9. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? I don't have CDs OR shelves, but I do have plenty of embarrassing mp3s. The most recently acquired one would be PSY - Gangnam Style. Fuck you, sugarblind.
10. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I think it would seem like a good idea at first, and would later involve violence and jail time.
11. Are you a daredevil? In some ways, I guess, but not really, and not nearly as much as I used to be.
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yes, although not in recent history.
13. Do looks matter? Yes. I think people who say they're not at all important are being dishonest. They are not the MOST important thing, by far, and even the best looks don't make up for being a horrible person (*coughREUBENcough*), but they are important to a degree.
14. Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? Who hasn't?
15. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Literally? No. Figuratively? Kind of. My life has really gotten pretty good, and I did not see that ever happening again.
16. Do fish have feelings? Like emotions? Probably not.
17. Are you trendy? No.
18. How do you release anger? I usually cry a lot.
19. Where is your second home? Hmm. I don't know that I have a second one.
20. Do you trust others easily? Sometimes. I tend to vacillate between being far too trusting and far too suspicious and paranoid.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? I'm not 100% sure, but it probably involved moobie and I, messy and/or broken things, and my parents having a meltdown.
22. What class in school do you think is totally useless? GYM. I fucking hated gym.
23. Do you like sappy love songs? Some of them, sometimes. Natural side effect of having ovaries.
24. Have you ever been on radio or television? I've won stupid shit on the radio a bunch of times, and I was on the Ricki Lake show when I was 19.
25. Do you have a journal? ...obviously? I am trying very hard to resurrect this one. I would really like to get a new offline journal.
26. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes.
27. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? No. I have witnessed them, but they are not even remotely my thing.
28. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Intelligence, loyalty, tolerance, biting wit, a dark sense of humor, similar interests/beliefs/experiences.
29. What are your nicknames? They've pretty much all been retired, other than Kat.
30. Would you bungee jump? No, but I'd skydive.
31. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No.
32. What are you worried about right now? For the first time in a long time, not much.
33. Do you ever wear overalls? Uh, no? I owned a pair in the late nineties, if memory serves.
34. Do you think you are strong? In some ways.
35. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? I love ice cream. I think my current favorite is Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet Cake.
36. What's your favorite color? Pink, silver, black, dark red, dark green, dark purple.
37. What is your least favorite thing in the world? Nausea, fear/panic, spicy food, snoring, unrepentant stupidity... dude, I could go for miles with this.
38. How many wisdom teeth do you have? None; I had them all taken out when I was 16.
39. Do you have anything pierced? The only piercings I still have jewelry in are my belly button and my eyebrow.
40. Do you have any tattoos? Seven, so far.
41. What do you want to be when you grow up? Healthy.

Attn: rocketts_chica!!

2012-12-08T10:08:34Z

I found the entry where we first met!

http://sugarpuss.livejournal.com/722178.html

In which our heroine does a survey, because that's what LJ is fucking for.

2012-12-08T06:42:12Z

Um, why is lj-cut not working?

1. First Name: Kat.
2. Hair Color: Extremely faded red with far too much root action going on. I have two bottles of hair dye that I've had forever, but I am lazy.
3. Middle Name: I don't have one.
4. Hair Style: Past my nipples, mostly straight.
5. Eye Color: Dark brown.
6. Height: 5'8" or so.
7. Weight: I don't even know.
8. Birthday: March 20, 1980.
9. Zodiac Sign: Pisces/Aries cusp.
10. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: Yes. And he is fantastic.
11. Do you have a crush?: Actually, for once, I do not.

Favorites
1. Favorite Animal: Cats! White tigers. Hedgehoglets.
2. Favorite Sport: I despise sports; the only one I can tolerate is hockey, particularly live hockey games, particularly the Flyers.
3. Favorite Color(s): Pink, silver, black, dark purple, dark red, dark green.
4. Favorite Friend(s) Offline: If they're my friends, that already implies a level of "favorite", doesn't it? But of course the girls (sugarblind, moobie, name, rocketts_chica), Erik, James & Emily, and Brendan is my best friend.
5. Favorite Friend(s) Online: All of you guys! Although lately the one I'm in most regular contact with is akaleia.
6. Favorite Song(s) of the Moment: Skrillex - Bangarang is my absolute favorite right now.
7. Favorite Movie Quote: Oh my god, there are hundreds. My OCD will not allow me to pick one without listing fifty, so let's just not.
8. Favorite Store: Borders/any major bookstore. Other than that I prefer shopping online -- Amazon, Uncommon Goods, Fab, etc.
9. Favorite Feeling: Being in love, the moments before sleep, orgasms, relief, satisfaction, helping people.
10. Favorite Shoe: I don't really have favorite shoes.
11. Favorite Scent: Curve, CK1, patchouli, sex, vanilla, cucumber melon, cherry vanilla incense, rain, fire.
12. Do You Wear Make-Up?: Sometimes.
13. Which is more important, personality or looks?: Personality is MORE important, but looks are important to a degree.
14. What kind of personality do you like in a guy/girl?: Similar interests/experiences, intelligence, a dark sense of humor, compassion, tolerance, loyalty.
15. Do you move fast or slow in arelationship?: Pretty fast.
16. What is your idea of the perfect guy/girl?: Brendan. Or Nikki Sixx.
17. Would you ever ask someone out?: Sure.
18. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: Usually brunettes. Not always. But really, unnatural colors or black hair.

Love, Life & Friends
1. What is the first thing you notice about someone?: What they look like and how they carry themselves.
2. When's the last time you cried?: Within the last few days; I cry easily and often.
3. What do you want to be when you grow up?: I'd really rather just not grow up.
4. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope.
5. How far have you gotten?: Pretty fucking far. Pun intended.
6. Do you like someone right now?: Sure, I like several people all the time.
7. Do they know?: Probably.
8. Do you have a best friend?: Several.

Within the last 24 hours, have you...
1. Had a serious talk?: Fairly serious.
2. Hugged someone?: Brendan.
3. Gotten along well with your parents?: My dad's dead and I haven't seen my mother in a couple of years.
4. Fought with a friend?: No.

Do you like to...
1. Give hugs?: Depends on who's receiving them.
2. Give back rubs?: Sometimes.
3. Take walks in the rain?: WARM rain.
4. You ever have that falling dream?: Not in recent history.
5. What is on the walls of your room?: Not much; I need to decorate.
6. When you chew gum, what kind?: Peppermint, I guess, but I can't remember the last time I chewed gum.
7. Do you use chap stick?: YES. I am addicted to lip balm/lip gloss.

In the last year have/did you...
1. Drink?: Yes.
2. Smoke?: ...several things.
3. Drugs?: Yes.
4. Have Sex?: Of course.
5. Made Out?: Of course.
6. Go on a date?: Datelike things.
8. Go to the mall?: No.
9. Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Not ever.
10. Eaten sushi?: No.
11. Been on stage?: No.
12. Been dumped?: No.
13: Have someone be unfaithful to you?: Not that I know of.
14. Watched The Smurfs?: No.
15. Hiked a mountain?: No.
16. Made homemade cookies?: No.
17. Been in love?: Yes.

More stuff.
1. Are you popular?: Uh... I don't really know.
2. Are you pretty? Sometimes.
4. What is your favorite word to say: Cunt. Schadenfreude.
5. What is your favorite phrase to say?: Hmm.
6. What are you doing right now?: Texting Brendan, listening to music, fucking around on Facebook.
7. What song are you listening to?: Korn ft. Skrillex - Narcissistic Cannibal.
8. What are you wearing?: Beatles babydoll shirt, black shorts, underwear with butterflies on them.

You were born under a bad sign, baby

2012-12-08T05:36:54Z

Whenever I log into Livejournal, I find myself reading ancient entries instead of posting new ones. My old entries keep me occupied and entertained and horrified and fascinated for hours at a time. I am currently reading shit from early 2002, when I was writing Life Loves a Tragedy. Those of you who know what I'm talking about will probably get a chuckle out of the memories associated with that silliness.

My cats are fucking INSANE tonight. Granted, cats always are, but I think they may actually have figured out how to procure and smoke crack. I psychotically adore my cats, but they are really wearing on my patience tonight.

Not much happened today, really. When Brendan got home from work this morning, we ate macaroni & cheese and watched an episode of Dexter, then went to bed. Up around 3pm; most of the Christmas presents I ordered arrived, and Brendan's mom stopped by briefly. We watched The Apparition, which, like most "scary" movies, wasn't remotely scary, but it was a fairly original concept and a decent movie, even if the title doesn't really make sense. We really want to see The Possession, but there aren't any decent copies available yet, so we'll wait on that. In the morning we're going to watch the new episode of American Horror Story and perhaps Chernobyl Diaries.

Anyway, after that, Brendan took a nap and I amused myself online for a while. Talked to James; he really needs some financial help right now and I hate that I can't give him any. However, he has a standing invitation to come stay with us for as long as he wants, so that might be happening in the near future. That would be pretty cool -- all three of us have been friends for years, and I'd feel like I was repaying him for allowing me to live at his house rent-free. Plus that means Emily would probably visit more often, which would also be pretty fucking cool.

Speaking of people named Emily, sugarblind is probably spending Christmas Eve here, which is awesome... seeing her is always awesome, but seeing her on a holiday when I'd probably be a weepy mess otherwise is even better. Brendan is working 7am-7pm Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day (which sucks horribly, but also means he'll make a FUCKTON of money in overtime, so) and this way I won't feel all abandoned and lonely.

Let's see, what else? Brendan's on third shift this week so I'm home alone all night... but actually, he just called and asked me to go to the store and bring him some Tums, so I have to go do that. Ah, the things I will do out of love... and boredom.

Let's try this YET AGAIN.

2012-12-06T21:49:02Z

I keep trying to ressurect my journal and failing miserably at it, but I'm still going to make yet another attempt at this. Perhaps now that my life is actually mostly back together, it will work.

I am settled in at the new place... well, it's new to me, anyway. Brendan's lived here for a while, but now it's officially my house, too -- I'm even on the lease. We have a new bed and a new couch and two cats. We're becoming a functional, if odd, little family.

Later, when I am less exhausted, I will try to make a longer entry. But for now... I am trying this again. Hopefully I'll stick with it this time. Having a permanent address and a 60" computer screen will probably help.

I'm not dead.

2012-11-02T03:03:09Z

Posting from my phone is a bitch. Currently living in a hotel until later this month when I'm moving in with Brendan. Lots of shit going on. PM me if you want details or my cell phone number.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

sugarpuss @ 2012-10-10T19:10:00

2012-10-10T23:10:42Z

I'm not sure if these are menstrual cramps or if I just got fucked too hard.

It's been a long three days. I will do my best at making a real entry at some point after I sleep.

sugarpuss @ 2012-10-03T21:53:00

2012-10-04T01:53:13Z

me: If I made you a papaya pussy, would you fuck it??
Brendan: Why the hell would i ever do that?
me: BECAUSE IT WOULD BRING YOUR GIRLFRIEND JOY
Brendan: I forgot...i have to go...I'm getting my toenails polished...
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
me: I am nice enough to not post that on Facebook... but you can bet your sweet ass it's in my most recent journal entry

Inspired by THC and this website

I psychotically love my boyfriend.

I will make a real update later.

We laugh like soft, mad children...

2012-10-01T10:21:24Z

Bed soon. It's still ridiculous, going to bed at 6:30 in the morning, but considering I went to sleep around NOON yesterday and the day before, I consider this a small win. Spent the evening talking to my love and researching things online. Cleaned the kitchen, cleaned myself. Blah blah blah.

Pugz and I are picking Brendan up sometime around 5pm (whenever he's done with his doctor appointment), and B and I are spending a night in a hotel, just the two of us. I can't say much about that, but it does promise to be epic. Then Tuesday we're coming back here, intentionally doing nothing all day, and hanging out with John at night since he's moving to Georgia on I think Wednesday. He'll be missed. He's fun. I need someone else to get drunk and sing hair metal songs with. Then B's crashing here Tuesday night and going home sometime on Wednesday, and Friday he's crashing here again; we might hang out with Justin. It's awesome to get to spend so much time with him, for a change.

Not a whole lot to report, otherwise. I probably won't update for a day or two, but this does not mean I am not still trying to update this thing on a mostly daily basis.

If you pay attention to any entry, let it be this one.

2012-09-29T06:49:32Z

ROLL CALL!!

Okay, I have been gone from Livejournal for literally years. I already trimmed pretty much every community and such from my friends list.

Now it is time to do the same with people. I will be frank -- I don't remember who most of you are. I don't know if you keep up with Livejournal. In an effort to really get back into LJ, I need to trim my friends list down to people that I know, people who read my journal, people whose journals I am going to read.

Please comment here and let me know who you are. At some point I will be doing some heavy friends-list trimming.

Will you lose him there on some gentle dawn? This boy is here and gone...

2012-09-29T05:55:37Z

I need new icons. I dropped pretty much every community and most icon-related crap from my friends list when I redid my userinfo and whatnot, and I am completely out of touch. Someone give me some good icon-related journals/communities/whatever. I can't make my own, which saddens me, at least until Brendan eventually builds my super machine.

I had a lovely 24 hours with Brendan. We took him home a couple of hours ago, after stopping at Walmart where I got some much-needed new socks (pink, black, and grey), a cherry lollipop, and a late birthday card for rocketts_chica. (It's going out with tomorrow's mail from Brendan's house, hon -- should be there early next week sometime. Sorry it's late!) Anyway, other things that happened: weird movies and TV shows, yummy food, lots of cuddling, and I achieved Sexual Skill Level: Ninja.

I am sad that he's gone, as I am always sad when he leaves; the difference between being with him and then suddenly without him is profound. However, for once I do not have to wait another week or more to see him again. He's laid off from work for two weeks starting on Monday, which means I will see a good deal more of him over those two weeks than I usually do. Pugz & I are picking him up after his doctor's appointment on Monday, and we're spending Monday night having a romantic, just-the-two-of-us night at a hotel, then he's crashing here on Tuesday night (I think we are also going out with our friend John the 80s stallion that night, because he's moving to Georgia next week). Then Brendan is crashing here again Friday night, and we might go out with Justin (who I haven't seen in YEARS, but we started talking again on Facebook a few months ago). I don't know about the following week, but I will hopefully see Brendan a bunch then, too. We are working on getting a place together, which we hope will happen by the beginning of next year. I can't fucking wait.

We've only been together for a few months (four months on Thursday, to be exact), but because we've known each other for well over ten years and have always secretly carried a torch for one another, we skipped a lot of the getting-to-know-you stuff and our relationship was fairly serious from the gate. I really believe he is The One, that mythical and elusive Good Guy that you only hear about. I know we all feel that way and say these things in the beginning, but this time I truly believe it. We couldn't be more perfect for each other. I am wildly in love with this brilliant, perfect man.

Not a whole lot else to report. I should go do my housework (the kitchen is a DISASTER since I didn't do it last night, and I have to finish my laundry and bring theirs upstairs), but I am sucked into the internet and listening to music. It will get done; it always does.

I guess that's about it for now.

You can't teach a dog to that. You can only train elephants.

2012-09-27T09:22:16Z

I need to get new icons. Maybe tomorrow I will actually think of that before I start getting sleepy.

I just added a bunch of Monkees songs to my Grooveshark playlist. I am somehow unsurprised by the fact that I can still sing along with all of them... particularly "Gonna Buy Me A Dog".

I can't wait until tomorrow night (well, really, tonight). Pugzley and I are picking Brendan up from work and he's crashing here. Much cuddling and sex. I desperately long for both. I cannot even begin to express how deeply I love this man.

I still need to straighten up the kitchen, which I should do before I completely lose all motivation. It's not too bad today, though, since they went out to dinner.

I really don't have much to say, and I'm too tired to make this interesting or even terribly cohesive.

More tomorrow.

THESE VAGABOND SHOES ARE LONGING TO STRAY

2012-09-26T10:04:23Z

I thought by this age, I'd stop being nocturnal, but... obviously not. I shall blame this on Brendan, even though his work schedule is only sort of to blame. Really, though, I love late nights and very early mornings, downstairs by myself, just me and my music (and talking to Brendan, until he goes to bed, which he just did a few minutes ago). I am sipping coffee with caramel creamer (coffee does nothing to me; compare this to my caffeine hypersensitivity from years ago, which was probably largely in my head) and unwinding before bed, which will happen probably sometime in the next hour or so.

It was a good night. I had an AWESOME chat with rocketts_chica and Brendan on Facebook. It means the world to me that they get along so well, and for that matter, that all of my girls seem to approve of him. Perhaps this is because he's not an egotistical asshole who mistreats me. Who knew?

I don't have anything else I must get done before bed. I unloaded the dishwasher, did the dishes, and cleaned the counters in the kitchen, which I do pretty much every night because that way, it doesn't get ridiculously out of control and take me forever to do. I don't mind it; it's become a routine. They don't really ask much of me; I'll help however I can.

...and then I go all ADD and switch over to Grooveshark to add shit to my playlist, and like the emotionally masochistic asshole that I am, I somehow start thinking about the two horribly depressing Frank Sinatra Christmas songs that I memorized courtesy of my father, and of course I have to hear them, and now I am a fucking mess. Why do I do this?

Controlled pain, that's why. Controlled pain.

But then I switch over to "That's Life" and I just think I should be drunk. So I'm good. I am an emotional trainwreck; this has not changed. It is both distressing and comforting.

I am no less ridiculous than I was years ago, but I have changed in other, hopefully better ways.

I need new icons.

I also need to shut up, for now.

sugarpuss @ 2012-09-25T04:22:00

2012-09-25T08:23:00Z

Holy fuck, I'm cold. Well, my hands and feet are freezing, anyway. I put on an extra pair of socks and am contemplating doing dishes just to have hot water running on my hands.

Today was... just another day, really. Nothing terribly exciting happened, but nor did anything bad, so that's all right then. I'm sort of restless and bored now, though... 4:20am, everyone in the house is asleep (even the dog). Brendan went to bed a little while ago. Now I am just listening to emotionally questionable music and reading ancient LJ entries.

rocketts_chica and I are working on getting our once ridiculously close friendship back on track. We're also attempting to write again, but that is mostly just silly and amusing. Brendan and I are working on making it possible for us to go out there to visit her, which would be fucking awesome. It has been WAY too long since I've seen her.

My fingers are so cold that it is actually difficult to type. It seems like only ten minutes ago that I was bitching about how I was too hot, and wanted the summer to end.

So. I guess I am going to go clean the kitchen, because in this house, I am the Middle of the Night Kitchen Cleaning Fairy. Also, it will make me less freezing.

sugarpuss @ 2012-09-24T15:58:00

2012-09-24T19:58:48Z

I am PISSED.

I didn't get to sleep until after 9am. I was in a dead sleep in my room, until the child came FLYING in, no knock or anything, to inform me that Miranda was going to PT and needed me to come down here. Now, I do not mind that she needed me to come downstairs (to keep an eye on the child and the dog). They're doing me a favor by allowing me to stay here, and I'm here to help.

But for the love of fuck, kid, LEARN HOW TO KNOCK.

Okay, so I am going to resurrect my journal. I mean it this time.

2012-09-24T07:37:17Z

I just redid my userinfo and deleted a ton of defunct journals & communities. I considered just making an entirely new journal, but I have had this forever, so I'm going to just breathe new life into it.

I need to know who's still paying attention to my journal (or LJ in general), because eventually I will be doing some serious trimming of my friends list. I haven't talked to most of you in a million years, and honestly don't even remember who everyone is. And I want my journal to be as blunt and detailed as it once was, but in order to feel comfortable with that, I need to feel comfortable with who's able to view it.

I am not going to try to sum up the last several years. It's too much, and a lot of it is painful. I will still answer questions and tell people what they want to know, but this journal is starting in the present.

Right now I am living in Northampton with Pugzley (Matt), Miranda, Miranda's daughter, and their dog. She recently had surgery, so I came to help during her recovery. I will be here, probably, until sometime in November. Not 100% sure where I will end up next...

...but it will hopefully be with Brendan. He used to be mentioned often in my journal. We lost contact for a long time, but found each other in May, and finally ended up together, like it was always meant to be. I have never been happier. I mean it this time.

I am not going to attempt to make this entry terribly long; it's late, and I have a boyfriend to call before he goes to sleep. But comment! Let me know who you are, and what's up!

Hopefully I can stick to this shit this time.

Call the clouds, and listen closely -- I'm lost without you

2012-06-19T19:44:08Z

Watching James be all domesticated and waiting for my love to arrive. Today started out shitty because I barely slept and I am bleeding like a stuck pig, but things seem to be turning around. I have no idea what's on the agenda for tonight, but I believe it will involve stand-up comedy and snuggling, and I am totally fine with that. My social butterfly days are dead and in the ground.

I am really going to make an effort to update this thing regularly. While part of me regrets the fact that the last several years aren't meticulously documented like my LJ years were, the rest of me knows that's really probably for the best. I really want to reconnect with you guys. Thanks to those who are already making an effort to make that possible. I really do love & miss you guys terribly. :)

So who wants to turn off the lights and have an orgy? ;)

I knew the moment had arrived for killing the past and coming back to life...

2012-06-18T16:37:07Z

It's going to be a while before I actually can string enough thoughts & phrases together to explain even a FRACTION of the last several years; for now let's just be glad I'm in a position in my life where updating my LJ can once again be a priority and a regular occurrence.

Currently living in Bethlehem with James and his girl. Love it here.

Madly in love for the first time in too long; his name is Brendan (if you've read my journal from WAY back in the day, you've seen him mentioned repeatedly -- we have a... unique history) and he is fucking perfect. Happiness is very unfamiliar; I think I like it. Todd and I haven't even laid eyes on each other in well over three years; he's a good dad to our son, which is the only reason I haven't had him seriously injured or killed, even though I could probably arrange it without much effort. Or remorse, for that matter.

So, people -- if you're out there talk to me.

I really need to update my userinfo, but that seems too daunting a task at the moment; I'm not even fully conscious yet. Macaroni & cheese and a Newport -- breakfast of champions.

Oops.

2012-06-01T04:22:14Z

It would appear that I am drunk for the first time in YEARS.

And if I show you my dark side, will you still hold me tonight?

2012-05-30T13:55:04Z

I will try to remember to update this thing when the opportunity presents itself.

Life is weird right now, but not exactly bad and definitely heading in the direction of better. I am attempting to reconnect with only a very small portion of the group I was once very close to and it's quite strange, but surprisingly successful. I do not want to lose these people again.

There is so fucking much that happened in the YEARS I was away from here; whether or not those stories eventually get told here remains to be seen. I am nothing like the Kat I used to be, or at least that's how it seems to me.

Who's still around? Edit: I realize I asked that in my last entry. Oops. Feel free to answer again.

So, I'm vaguely considering a comeback...

2012-04-22T02:33:38Z

...maybe. What say you? Who's even still here?

Really need help w/cash & benzos

2008-11-26T01:07:35Z

The subject line says it all.

Or most of it all, but if you want further details you know I'll provide them.

PLEASE help. The benzo situation is pretty bad. Actually the whole situation is bad.

And being pregnant isn't helping.

cough

2008-11-23T20:43:10Z

Here's the deal.

I'm *incredibly* sick [really bad cold/cough/fever/all the fun shit that at least hopefully means I won't be sick for Christmas, which I usually am]. My doctor has two scripts waiting for me at my pharmacy [I suppose I'm not surprised that they have to be really picky about what they script you if you're pregnant]. My mom and her boyfriend [...ew] are out of town & she will be back sometime between very late tonight and sometime tomorrow evening, and is willing to reimburse anyone who helps me out before then [I should have started the meds yesterday or the night before].

She's ALSO willing [begrudgingly] to cover a hospital bill if I can't get help soon enough. I am REALLY trying to hold out on that because it seems absurd to pay $500+ for the visit alone when the scripts will cost like, ten times less than that.

Please contact me if you can help; like I said my mom will give me the money to give to you [or send it directly to you, whichever].

Copied from MySpace

2008-11-11T01:37:35Z

Pippi ain't giving up until she comes out on top or drowns. If you would like to help drown me, please direct me to your local deep, private, watery area; at this point I'd probably do it.

I got in a HUGE fight tonight, first with my mom, then Todd's mom, then his dad, then his mom, then my mom, then his dad, then his mom, then his dad, then his mom.

Even though I am paying Todd's half of EVERYTHING [rent, all bills, etc.] and then some -- like, I paid a bill that doesn't even MAKE SENSE but was apparently urgent [it was from AT&T, which makes NO sense because we do not have nor have we ever had AT&T service for ANYTHING, and even though I am having his child, and even though I am completely alone and living on a VERY limited income and even though I got robbed TWICE and ON AND ON AND ON... they fucking REFUSE to do JACK SHIT for me. I saw Todd last night & told him how things were going w/them & he was actually CRYING because he can't do shit for me, and he knows how much I have to do for him, and he also knows he CANNOT convince his parents to do ANYTHING for me. [They up and got a new fucking CAT for no reason other than to have to buy more cat food, but they won't spot me five bucks to feed MY cat. God for-fucking-bid Kismet has something other than dry food occasionally.]

Anyway, I REALLY need your help. [Thank you SO MUCH to those of you who have done anything. You are fucking awesome. And thank you also to everyone who I know truly wishes they COULD help but can't; the fact that you even SAID anything to me means something. Times like these REALLY teach you, unfortunately, who your friends AREN'T.]

PLEASE, someone respond. I desperately need help, his parents are really fucking me over, my mother is a cuntwhore... PLEASE, someone respond.

I am going out right now; I don't even know where but PLEASE PEOPLE, let me come home to good news.

PLEASE do not leave me negative comments. PLEASE. It has been a terrible fucking night & I don't need anything ELSE to make me want to stick forks in my eyeballs.

Let's give this one more try...

2008-11-08T19:52:25Z

NOTE: If you have anything negative to say, either keep it to yourself or email me. I LEFT LJ because of negativity, and I have WAY TOO MUCH of it in my life to deal with more. Most of you have been NOTHING but supportive, friendly, and wonderful. If you don't have anything nice to say, I don't need to hear it.

Here's my laundry list.

*I am pregnant.

*I am pregnant and alone until at least mid-February. Todd [for anyone who somehow does not know/remember, Todd is my boyfriend of what will be five years in March] is presently incarcerated.

*As of Wednesday [11/13] he is being transferred to rehab for probably 90 days. He will be over 220 miles away so I will probably see him only one, possibly two more times until he comes home because the chances of me visiting him that far away are slim to none.

*I got robbed twice in the last two months; this month just when I thought I had everything together, or together enough to scrape by, it happened again. I lost a lot of money and medication. Can't pay certain important bills [already lost my cable, am at risk because certain things NEED to be paid [i.e, electric, medication, doctors].

*I really, really, really need help & I don't really have anywhere else to turn. Needless to say Todd would/is willing to help, but is in no position to do so. When there is credit on his cards he does let me use them but not being in possession of the cards themselves I can only use them to either order crap online, or if I have a guy's voice to "borrow", send myself cash via Western Union. However neither of these things are presently an option; one card is just accruing overdraft fees [his parents pay his cards, I'm not sure why they're suddenly fucking his credit like that when they never have before] and the other one will not be paid until the end of the month.

*PLEASE contact me. I am begging you as my friends.

You can comment here, email me [absolutsugarpuss@verizon.net], MySpace me [myspace.com/therealsugarpuss, or you can search by Kat Waters or my username Schadenfreude], by phone [if you need the number just ask], or on AIM if I'm on [absolutsugarpuss].

Please you guys.