6-month Adderall report
TL;DR version: The medication itself was only the beginning, a correct step towards helping me implement other life choices that all work together to get me where I am today...and where I will be in the future.
1. In the six months since I've started this new medication, I've been able to overcome or compensate for roughly 90% of the deep-rooted symptoms, behaviors, destructive thought processes and bad habits brought on by the ADHD. This includes the crushing lethargy, fatigue, depression and lack of motivation that has plagued me since 2007. Adderall isn't the be-all, end-all; it treats the symptoms, not the underlying cause (which remains a mystery), but I can finally move without feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders...or on my soul.
2. I sent in an application to the ADHD specialist program at Western Psych, who can help me manage the remaining 10%. This program offers better med management than my GP can provide, behavior modification, and life coaching to give me the direction I need to maximize my potential. I'll know in a couple of weeks whether I've been accepted; if not, they can still point me to other resources. I also signed a research and study consent form, so that I may become part of the solution.
3. This one is probably one of the most important. I've posted many times in this here journal about my experiences on other medications and therapies. At most I'd be okay for a month, then slide back into the crazy. Unlike the Strattera I was taking, the Adderall has yielded predictable, consistent results, every day; except, of course, for the few days I wasn't taking it for one reason or another. This has allowed me to build upon the positive behaviors that lead to good habits, instead of spiking a few days at a time and leading me back to square one.
4. My organizational skills, never really that good in the first place, have improved. I'm consistently keeping track of my finances in ways I've never been able to do before. That might not sound like much to people for whom such things naturally come easy or developed these habits early in life, but those who know me will know how much of a triumph that in itself can be. It's little more than a simple financial log in a notebook, but it has been effective enough to maintain awareness of my resources and expenses with no surprises. The reason this is so personally important is that after years of previous attempts at financial organization, which wouldn't even last a few days before I'd forget or let it go, where my finances would reach crisis mode again.
5. I am taking better care of my physical health. I joined a gym last month and have been using it, increasing my stamina and daily energy levels. My improvement has gone even better than I hoped: motions and movements that used to wipe me out now come much easier. Running a full mile would kill me just six weeks ago; now I barely even get winded, with energy to spare. It's not just with the workouts, but in my diet as well. I'm getting educated on food science, allowing me a better understanding of what I'm putting in my body. The one cheat I allow myself is an energy drink at the start of my day. Rockstar Punched = the PRECIOUSSS.... Other than that one cheat, it's a good thing I like salads and protein smoothies.
6. Much like steps 8 and 9 in addiction recovery, I have long since accepted responsibility for my trespasses against those for whom I've harmed as a result of my previous behavior. I've ruined not only my own credit and credibility, but those who believed in me and my half-assed "business ideas", over-promising and under-delivering, leading to a cycle of chronic mutual disappointment. I broke that cycle by reining in the ambition to a more manageable level, making more realistic choices about where to put my time, energy, stamina, and skills. I have begun the process of atonement through refunding and reimbursing those who have suffered financial losses as a result of my mistakes. I expect this process to take until May, where I can finally close that dark chapter of my life with a modicum of integrity restored.
7. I have switched back to a diurnal sleep schedule, consistently waking during the day and sleeping at night. I've had to decline extra work at my job because of this, but sleep is one thing I have learned not to compromise on. Sometimes I need assistance in falling asleep on time using melatonin or a couple shots of 100-proof philosophy, but for the most part I sleep better than ever; especially if I've been driving my physical body hard the day before.
8. Speaking of shots, I've moderated my alcohol intake. One thing I never shared here until now was that I had been sliding down that slippery slope, the one I managed to avoid until the last couple of years. I used to average 2-3 bottles of vodka a month, which certainly didn't help. Since I started the Adderall, I've totaled 3 bottles in the last six months, mostly in 2-shot increments just before bed, 2-3 times a week. The mornings after I take those shots, I wake up even more refreshed and ready to take on the day.
9: I owe a good portion of this recovery to my stable living situation and job I enjoy. I owe a debt of gratitude to my roomies and local friends for putting up with my crap while I got my shit together. I owe so much more to those who put up with me before I was able to get this far in my journey.
10. It is because of these choices that I am experiencing a deep and abiding satisfaction in life I haven't had in years, not even while on the previous medication. My emotional state can be considered stable and balanced, despite a couple of mood episodes over the last six months. I am feeling a sense of dynamism that has me looking forward to and planning for the future in a way I have never done before. I have a sense of determined optimism backed by honest reality, not pipe dreams and hairbrained schemes.
I can see the top of the mountain from here. With a little more help, I can make it the rest of the way.
So far, the view is FANTASTIC!
1. In the six months since I've started this new medication, I've been able to overcome or compensate for roughly 90% of the deep-rooted symptoms, behaviors, destructive thought processes and bad habits brought on by the ADHD. This includes the crushing lethargy, fatigue, depression and lack of motivation that has plagued me since 2007. Adderall isn't the be-all, end-all; it treats the symptoms, not the underlying cause (which remains a mystery), but I can finally move without feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders...or on my soul.
2. I sent in an application to the ADHD specialist program at Western Psych, who can help me manage the remaining 10%. This program offers better med management than my GP can provide, behavior modification, and life coaching to give me the direction I need to maximize my potential. I'll know in a couple of weeks whether I've been accepted; if not, they can still point me to other resources. I also signed a research and study consent form, so that I may become part of the solution.
3. This one is probably one of the most important. I've posted many times in this here journal about my experiences on other medications and therapies. At most I'd be okay for a month, then slide back into the crazy. Unlike the Strattera I was taking, the Adderall has yielded predictable, consistent results, every day; except, of course, for the few days I wasn't taking it for one reason or another. This has allowed me to build upon the positive behaviors that lead to good habits, instead of spiking a few days at a time and leading me back to square one.
4. My organizational skills, never really that good in the first place, have improved. I'm consistently keeping track of my finances in ways I've never been able to do before. That might not sound like much to people for whom such things naturally come easy or developed these habits early in life, but those who know me will know how much of a triumph that in itself can be. It's little more than a simple financial log in a notebook, but it has been effective enough to maintain awareness of my resources and expenses with no surprises. The reason this is so personally important is that after years of previous attempts at financial organization, which wouldn't even last a few days before I'd forget or let it go, where my finances would reach crisis mode again.
5. I am taking better care of my physical health. I joined a gym last month and have been using it, increasing my stamina and daily energy levels. My improvement has gone even better than I hoped: motions and movements that used to wipe me out now come much easier. Running a full mile would kill me just six weeks ago; now I barely even get winded, with energy to spare. It's not just with the workouts, but in my diet as well. I'm getting educated on food science, allowing me a better understanding of what I'm putting in my body. The one cheat I allow myself is an energy drink at the start of my day. Rockstar Punched = the PRECIOUSSS.... Other than that one cheat, it's a good thing I like salads and protein smoothies.
6. Much like steps 8 and 9 in addiction recovery, I have long since accepted responsibility for my trespasses against those for whom I've harmed as a result of my previous behavior. I've ruined not only my own credit and credibility, but those who believed in me and my half-assed "business ideas", over-promising and under-delivering, leading to a cycle of chronic mutual disappointment. I broke that cycle by reining in the ambition to a more manageable level, making more realistic choices about where to put my time, energy, stamina, and skills. I have begun the process of atonement through refunding and reimbursing those who have suffered financial losses as a result of my mistakes. I expect this process to take until May, where I can finally close that dark chapter of my life with a modicum of integrity restored.
7. I have switched back to a diurnal sleep schedule, consistently waking during the day and sleeping at night. I've had to decline extra work at my job because of this, but sleep is one thing I have learned not to compromise on. Sometimes I need assistance in falling asleep on time using melatonin or a couple shots of 100-proof philosophy, but for the most part I sleep better than ever; especially if I've been driving my physical body hard the day before.
8. Speaking of shots, I've moderated my alcohol intake. One thing I never shared here until now was that I had been sliding down that slippery slope, the one I managed to avoid until the last couple of years. I used to average 2-3 bottles of vodka a month, which certainly didn't help. Since I started the Adderall, I've totaled 3 bottles in the last six months, mostly in 2-shot increments just before bed, 2-3 times a week. The mornings after I take those shots, I wake up even more refreshed and ready to take on the day.
9: I owe a good portion of this recovery to my stable living situation and job I enjoy. I owe a debt of gratitude to my roomies and local friends for putting up with my crap while I got my shit together. I owe so much more to those who put up with me before I was able to get this far in my journey.
10. It is because of these choices that I am experiencing a deep and abiding satisfaction in life I haven't had in years, not even while on the previous medication. My emotional state can be considered stable and balanced, despite a couple of mood episodes over the last six months. I am feeling a sense of dynamism that has me looking forward to and planning for the future in a way I have never done before. I have a sense of determined optimism backed by honest reality, not pipe dreams and hairbrained schemes.
I can see the top of the mountain from here. With a little more help, I can make it the rest of the way.
So far, the view is FANTASTIC!
