so today I was in class and I was talking to this kid that me and my friends kinda jokingly say he has a crush on me. I looked on his arm and I saw a B, which is the first letter of my name. It looked like it had been carved there or something. It very well could have been pen but it looked like it was a self inflicted wound. I dont know how long it has been there or even why it's there, but I'm still kind of creeped out. I really dont want to say anything to him about it because if it is about me then I dont really want to bring it up. I dont like him as more than a friend. I really dont know what to make of the whole situation.
Then it reminded me of all the boys that have had really strong feelings for me... like tim, who we all thought had no emotions and he was a total dickhead sometimes. He cried when I said I didnt like him. And Josh, my ex-bf of 1 and 1/2 years who is still in love with me. There was Matt who cried when I wouldnt go back out with him.
This all reminds me of my first real bf who i liked sooo much. He dumped me with this lame reason and I was still infatuated with him for the longest time. I think I may have seen him a couple of times after we broke up but I didnt say anything to him, just sort of pretended I didnt see him. I wonder if he even remembers who I am. I heard he started stealing cars and he went to jail or something... that was a few years ago. I wish I could see him again and act like I'm hot shit that way he'd feel like a loser, although I doubt I could make anyone who doesnt even have a conscience feel like a loser.