| this post is to long for facebook |
[Feb. 11th, 2010|10:58 pm]
brandondouglas
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I dont have anything that motivates me.
I realized that a while ago thats when I stopped taking pictures. I dont really know what there is left to create. Or reason to create. I suppose that this sudo-depressed state of my writing it due to the fact I just watch an great movie; entitled: “the lives of others” Set in 1980s East Berlin, I pretty sure you that are reading are understanding where I am coming from.
In this movie a writer has to hide his works because they are in opposition to the states ideas. He has something to live for, he has the ability to communicate celery and concisely the state of affiries that have afflicted his life.
He hides his typewriter, under a floorboard as to prevent being seen from the state police. His wife has an affiare to protect her status as an actress, and his status as a playwrite for the state. A Stasi officer lie to his superiors just because this artists has something to say against the government, risking his life to protect the arts. As those who are fluent in the arts are the only ones willing to risk.
Back to the present. What is there to risk now? Nothing really, I have no motivation to do anything. I work in a highly uncreative area being told what to do and how to think like a laborer. Simply dont think and just do it.
I work in a union shop, as a steward, but those who want to fight are at complete losses and everyone else simply does not care. One of our shops locally is shutting down but its no surprise its emmersion transmission, all of the manufacturing jobs are going over seas anyway. We are all to small to fight to keep them here.
It seams that I have givin up a lot since I started by job in july 07. things that I have fought for, more recycling, (the kitchen is the only department that recycles glass tin and plastic, every other department just recycles carbord). I started with a composting incentive with a presentation including charts and graphs, (apparently $1200/ a year is to much to spend for composting, while we spend $4000/wk in food alone. Most of the food we buy is unilever, or kraft. I gave up my fair trade shoes. For cheep workboots that I have to replace erevy 3 months due to the chemicals that are used in the dishroom that flood the floor inturn breakdown the seams in my shoes, and the skin on my hands, oh wait the msds states we should use gloves my fault.... even to the point of going through a bunch of paper produced that are not even going to break down, like Styrofoam cups...
I am completely content with mediocrity at this point. I shop at wallmart because I can afford it, and I feel guilty each time at the check out. I even stopped buying local because its more expensive. I am part of the generation of guilt and gluttony. Never free from want...
what am I doing for equal rights? |
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| you couldent have come at a better time |
[May. 2nd, 2009|02:44 pm]
brandondouglas
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it was fun late night at the sythian show, none of the people from my class seam to me talking to each other, which is not really suprising, since well, south seneca did suck. people who droped out are going back to school, and all of the people that graduated college are still jobless, or doing compleately irrevelent things. |
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| two things in life are imporant: coffee & erevything else |
[Apr. 29th, 2009|04:44 pm]
brandondouglas
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| [ | Current Music |
| | Billy Joel - Captian Jack | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 66.66.99.51 | ] |
changing seasons, means its time for a post, and as i have said before i hope to actully post more often. with substence. i have finally up loaded some photographs to my flickr page click this. i bought a set of lights for the stuido for about $1200 which deffiently made me happy. and also since the last time i posted i have fallen in love with coffee. i have been making shots for myself, and have a french press at work, where i make people cofee 12oz at a time, i grinde the beans and press coffee. a french press is the closet thing for me to instant coffee. its better then the maxwell house coffee consentrate that is served at work. i use a differnt coffee each week. i go though a pound of coffee erevy 5 days.
i have been sitting down with my professor outside of school, at his stuido each week if not erevyother, talking shop. its better then a class. i will be taking a class this summer on stuido lighting, alot of that is just to keep me producing work. hopping to submitt a few times this summer.
i have been trying to get togahter with some friends on tuesdays. anyone wants to try let me know...
i wanted to try making the opening show for star treck at the mall. but i decded to wait to see in on sunday, a great mothers day.
i also have not been making it to the accord meetings mostly becuse i have been working, or just not been able to go.
i even made an attemp at trying to estblish a relationship. but typically i am emotionally detached so its hard to start anything with anyone.
but life is vary good
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| new your new york its a hell of a town |
[Mar. 20th, 2009|04:37 pm]
brandondouglas
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| [ | Current Location |
| | 12.168.253.11 (111 East 48th St) | ] |
yeah its a fairly decent day, got here early this morning i would say 6am or so, checked in @ 4 i dont know why i am positing it really just seams like a good idea i guess. its been a really long time since i have been to the city. and it has also been a while since i have posted.
lomography is an awsome place to go i just bought a fuji instiant back for a camera http://shop.lomography.com/shop/main.php?cat=Diana&pro=din heading to moma tomarrow. and checking out chelsa gallries. and tomarrow night a show... we are getting what we want done and having fun doing it....
bleh... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2009|07:02 pm]
brandondouglas
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i am varry happy to be getting back to web comics again |
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| happy new year |
[Jan. 1st, 2009|08:54 pm]
brandondouglas
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eh whatever |
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| retail therapy |
[Dec. 23rd, 2008|08:07 pm]
brandondouglas
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yeah i told my self i would not buy anything, i need to save money, so what do i do, when i feel meseriable i go by music. i work then i create a "need" so i spend (nearly) all of my money on music, i feel like such a sell-out. i try to wrtre a simple letter to my sister, but i cant. i dont know what but i am not the most articulate writter, i hate not being able to write. this is not helping eather....
aghg |
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| not imporant |
[Dec. 21st, 2008|04:26 pm]
brandondouglas
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this is not me
http://www.illwillpress.com/PI22.html |
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| another annunal post |
[Dec. 17th, 2008|09:53 pm]
brandondouglas
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the one about how i finished my classes but i am going to fail. i am currently holding a "d" in english. i need a -c i think i totally failed it. its one of thoes where i need the class to take other classes. but if i did fail at least i know that i am still taking a class over the summer... looking foward to that, its an indipendent study, stuido class. for photography looking foward to that in june... you know when it is actully warm here |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2008|07:57 pm]
brandondouglas
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why do i write in livejournal. and why do i care all of a suden, and why do i still have the same writing style that i have had since i was 12 |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2008|07:55 pm]
brandondouglas
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i think i may have just cased another friendship....
now to scrounge up my gpa with at attempt at english |
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| Posted using LJ Talk (http://www.livejournal.com/chat/)... |
[Nov. 15th, 2008|06:54 pm]
brandondouglas
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this is a spontaneous post. but then most posts are. i know that i do not like classes, and i know that i do poorly in them. i also know that i hate my job. i am attending school. becuse at one point i wanted to do better then what i got. i realized that (or i am telling myself this) that printing what i want is so much more fufilling when i dont do it all that often... i dont even know what this is suppose to mean |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2008|03:43 pm]
brandondouglas
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i am working vary hard on my education, just not right now |
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| its offical i hate macs |
[Nov. 3rd, 2008|11:27 am]
brandondouglas
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i have this hard drive usually the computer can just read it, i can never actully write to the disk which is typically ok, but honestly let me at least read my drive will you... gah... i want one OS i really do. i hate photoshop, i love gimp and linux they are so universal... |
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| shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart terd twat |
[Nov. 2nd, 2008|11:47 pm]
brandondouglas
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just the mood i am in i guess i needed to let that out |
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| random |
[Oct. 22nd, 2008|04:20 pm]
brandondouglas
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S&H $40.50, i really wish they would not handle it so much |
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| while ( ! ( succeed = try() ) ) |
[Oct. 16th, 2008|04:42 pm]
brandondouglas
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one of these days i will pass math... but i dont really need it to graduate, i only need it if i want to Xfer. oh yeah the reason why i am posting: i dont feel like doing anything and i am in front of a computer, thats a logic statement right? I am bored in front of a computer and therfor posting. anyway, i withdrew from math... i finally get to my subject three lines into my entry and its also my conclusion...
but other then that life is good. belay that, life is good. |
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| good money |
[Oct. 14th, 2008|08:01 pm]
brandondouglas
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hey, i am in need of money i am an artist, i am going to try selling my work, anything of mine you like is you in an 8x 12 format, or 12x12 format if is a 120 neg image...help me out here...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/trampborn2run
http://www.apug.org/forums/portfolios.php?u=13211
bdouglas.deviantart.com |
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| good thing |
[Sep. 30th, 2008|06:31 pm]
brandondouglas
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i may have found a roomate |
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| oh not not again |
[Sep. 30th, 2008|03:47 pm]
brandondouglas
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the only problem with crazy friends is that they well, undergo psychiatric care once in a while... another friend of mine was just hospitalized, and well she is bi-polar, with schizophrenia... yeah she has real social issues... but i hope that she is alright... |
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| normalcy |
[Sep. 28th, 2008|09:31 pm]
brandondouglas
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life is seemingly getting back to its normally chaotic state, today was normally a 12hour shift at work, with a chance to check out applefest, and timed it well enough to see a partical set of allan playing... which was awsome... and tomarrow a 12 hour day on campus at dryden... again normall
and please check out my photo stream: http://www.flickr.com/photos/trampborn2run/ |
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| 6weeks |
[Sep. 9th, 2008|07:57 pm]
brandondouglas
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i am giving myself 6 weeks to find a place to live in ithaca |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2008|10:35 pm]
brandondouglas
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i totally need to get out more |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2008|09:16 pm]
brandondouglas
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mary ellen mark is goin gto be at the johnson this thrusday... i am so cutting class |
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| personal pope |
[Aug. 29th, 2008|08:54 pm]
brandondouglas
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where my state of mind is in costant state of flux, trying to decide which is more imporant... the fact that i look for definition with who my friends are, or the fact that i dont give a fuck about what people think about me....
two things that clash in my life are, andy wharol, and bob dylan.
the fact that both heavly influeance how i feel. or rather i dub them as an inspiration. i realize that they are both gready fucks. dylan was just a guy with a guitar. andy was just a guy throwing america back at itself, i suposed as dylan was. but i was not arroudn then i do not know....
today i wanted to see alan play,
but i did not.
i used an excuse the fact that i simply wanted to be home after a day of work... i tell people that i work hard, but play harder. but that is becoming futal. i simply change my mind.
yesterday i wanted to see iy play, but instend i painted with a group of friends.
i have this desire to been seen at these shows. but i equally have this desire to force myself into social situations, where i know i am accepcted, or give the illusion of acceptence....
i have a hard time understanding friendships right now...
erevyone makes mistakes.... |
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