| The First Day of My Life |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|01:24 am]
jezzidee
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| [ | music |
| | first day of my life- bright eyes | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
Scarlett Rose Robertson, my first-born daughter was born on January 7th 2006 at 645 am . this was the most incredible thing i have ever played a part in! |
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| A New Arrival (yay!!!!) |
[May. 12th, 2005|10:42 am]
jezzidee
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| [ | music |
| | going to the dr. and we're going to have a baby!! | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | ECSTATIC!!! | ] |
John and I are pregnant!!!!! still gotta figure out our future living situation, but WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!! I"m SO EXCITED!!!!! |
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| Talent doesn't die |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|05:09 am]
jezzidee
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| [ | music |
| | how does it feel- dylan | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
it begs and screams to be put to use. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|08:16 pm]
jezzidee
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| [ | music |
| | Heartaches- Patsy Cline | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | lovesick | ] |
There's certain female who is always on my mind. The options are hopeless. Unfortunately, I must learn to squirm everytime I long for her, and hush this pounding stampede in my chest/head when i'm near her. As luck would have it, i'm not endowed with the virtue of patience but am forced to grin and bear it at present. To initiate would be disastrous, but this constant lump in my throat is proving to be just as treacherous to me. I've resigned to sit and wait, until i'm good enough and the situation isn't so damned upsetting/formidable. At present, it feels like i'll die isolated in this cave waiting for the stampede to quiet or bring my walls in on top of me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|03:43 pm]
jezzidee
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| [ | mood |
| | -ish | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Like a Bird on a Wire -Leonard Cohen | ] |
feelin weird and wishin like i lived back in the 20-60s. all this weird retro nostalgia keeps creepin up on me, i think cause i've read too much of the great southern gothics. It's always shady, set in an early -mid 20th century time period, and full of lust or morbidity (and usually a bit of both).i kinda wan to take a good day to read, even though i know i hould be cleaning my room or watching rocky to start working on my training. It's kinda like everyone's waiting for the world to end (even more so now since the pope died) so everyone is just laying around enjoying the last years before the great tribulation. I've also noticed that the reason why people don't talk to each other so freely isn't because they're insensitive, it's because they're afraid of BECOMING sensitive (kinda walks the line of not making snse but let me make my point). I think humans are deep down afraid of making human contact because they subconsciously fear that they will become attached to that person and they will end up hurt or betrayed. That's why we have a right to be picky, because you don't want just anyone to break your heart. And that's been my random rant on human emotion cause and effect, and i should know cause i'm not just the shrink, i was also once the patient :)
ps i (heart) huckabees rocked my sox! Jason Schwartzman (slackers, rushmore,spun, arrested development phantom planet)is the shit, and mark wahlberg has 3 nipples and mucho sexiness. though it was rather abstract and original, i got the feeling that they'res actually a market for these indie "napoleon dynamite"(<---in directing and quirkiness) style flicks and this was just the one they were looking for bring it to the mainstream. guess people are tired of feeding from the bottom of the barrell as far as intellectual depth goes. Or maybe they're just trying to convince themselves that they aren't all asses and cant' get away from it. hell, no more philosophizing! |
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| can i please have a wahh-burger wiht some mc cries. thanks. |
[Apr. 3rd, 2005|05:11 pm]
jezzidee
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| [ | music |
| | computer hum and sound of loneliness | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  moody | ] |
i'm home, bored, lonely, and girl-sick (or possibly lack of girl sick).think i'll crawl in bed and sleep until john gets here, cause hell, it's not like i really have any other reason to be awake today. |
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| anticipa------tion (and how i hate that britney spears is "curious") |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|11:38 pm]
jezzidee
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| [ | music |
| | the sweet sound of bob dole performed by norm mcD. on SNL | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tinged with dispair | ] |
home is wonderful but tonights been kind of a downer. My dad uncle and i are waiting with the possibility busting open the place at any time. the coys are gone because they were already traumatized enough from the first time. tension could be cut with a knife and hung over us like a looming black cloud waiting to pour.a nervous tension kills all comfort.
in other news i got my lips pierced yesterday. it swells like crazy in the morning, but it's looking rather healthy. i'm still going to make sure that's it's doing good in a few days. i'm going to the annexz tommorrow night and it should be rather fun. it will be my first night of real "clubbing."
i miss rocky (and a select group of people there) like crazy! i was cast for rocky last week and betty next week (for the special) but i didn't get to play any! i'm still kinda bummed about it because it would have been my first cast interactive role.
also this bo sex thing is sucking. john and i are very active and i must be oversexed to an extent (just a little) and i'm also having rocky withdrawals (talk about sexually frustated) so i can't wait to see johm! i'm scared i'm gonna pounce him the moment i lay eyes on him. just worried about supposedly having to "relearn to kiss" due to it. it'll still be hot though!
think i'm fixin to bed or watch snl. either way, night. |
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| home, at last |
[Mar. 20th, 2005|04:09 am]
jezzidee
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| [ | mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the alram clock buzzing for no reason at 4am | ] |
i've really missed home the past few months that i've been visitless in austin/hutto. but now i'm home and i'll be here until the 30th-ish. john's sister and friend have been making my rounds visiting realatives with me and i must say that i don't know what im' gonna do when they decide/have to go back to jasper. they good at distracting me from my melancholy, and she sometimes reminds me of her brother so i guess it does me some good.
speaking of boyfriends that don't call when they're asked, my boyfriend didn't call tonight after i asked him to. this makes 2 days in like 12 months that we haven't talked and i'm getting all sad just thinking about it.subject change- i got cast on rocky for this weekend and next weekend but i won't be there for either. sad too cause i was actually playing rocky one of those nights. i miss everyone there and i know i'm gonna start missing elish and john so much!!! i still have a week and a half before he "comes to get me" which probably, sad as it is, won't be able to happen. i'm already near potlessness, but i think i'll be able to get hooked up before the end of the trip. btw, in lufkin theres this spot on a pipleine with a pond that john and i and our pot headed friends would go, it's kinda sacred around here for potheads. i tooke pictures for him though. but there was this group of people "caw"ing at us and said later that they just had to initiate anyone who goes there. i thought it was funny that this initiation should come after i've been going there over a year. and talk about white trash!!!
plus john and i celebrated our ione year anniversay the day before i left. we didn't go anywhere cause his tire was flat, so we just hung out like on every other night. i still miss him though. now i have no arms to sleep in at nightand so forth with the sadness. better go before i get all blubbery. |
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| a downer |
[Mar. 10th, 2005|11:30 pm]
jezzidee
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i've been so depressed today. it's completely unnecessary for me to sob like a baby more than 3 times in one day over something as little as hearing john's voice talking to another females. it's ridiculous! i'm really getting sick of all these damned hormones and just wish my period would hurry up and leave!
i'm in a self-pitying mood and would probably be a lot better company if i were, a.) asleep, b.) heavily sedated or c.)felt good and loved. john's really the only person i have here in austin and it gets tough trying to get someone to notice you when they keep leaving the rooms you enter. i jsut want to hough my hands up in the air and say "you know, if you only want me on your time then you don't really want me at all" and be done with the matter. but i know i'd be crazy for him and that thought brings another feeling of disgust. i love him like i would like to be loved, and i guess being compltely separate and "purusing different things that we like separately" is how he wants to be loved. but thats not love to me, and i'm sick of feel like he only feels it for me every now and then. our 1 yr is on the 16th and i'm feeling hopeless about it. he wants brownies and i want him to be romantic. i miss romance. |
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| hell of a while and a hell of a lot of changes |
[Mar. 7th, 2005|11:35 pm]
jezzidee
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| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | that "everything turns turns turns.." song by the byrds | ] |
I can't beleive that I randomly happened to check my account and it's been a year exactly since i posted. it's a sign! I really don't feel like i have anything in common with the person i was a year ago, except maybe the name and family members. I'm living in austin now with John aka misterpixy and i'm thoroughly enjoying the slacker/stoner lifestyle. I dropped out of school but should be starting again this summer and continue on to the degree path.
i do rocky now every saturday. it's such fun and basically the only outlet i have for my energy/ creatitivy being that i only write when something strikes me. i miss home (family not actual home since i moved out last april) a little but other than that austin and john are great. girly crushes are bitches though, and it seems that i've been suffering from a fair share of them lately. good thing my baby understands me. mom and jimbos divorce was final on friday and she said she was so depressed. it's not like she didn't know it was gonna happen or thought that maybe it would be different the third time. guess i still feel like i have to assume the mother role even though i'm 5 hours away.
so what is it about the first day of summer that makes you feel completely rejuvenated? i got a haircut yesterday so i think that that might have added to it. but today was seriously awesome! slept late with my honey, put on my sxy retro dress and toked up with my feet in the water watching snails and a crawfish swim against the tide. it was beautiful. |
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