Inside Tears' Lost Mind!!! You all Should BE SCARED!!!

06:27pm 20/11/2005

mood:

crappy

Ok so Wednesday RENT comes out at the Theaters...... and I am over 2 hundred dollars in the hole so I can't even... I guess all the words i am told only come up to a big heap of Shit in the long run... Needless say... I hate everything... I hate trying to find a fuckin job... I hate that I am owed soo much money and I get none of it back... I am just fucked. everything in my life sucks..... I have not been able to leave this HOUSE in over a week cause I have no money... and no job... I am losing my fuckin mind..... no one calls to talk to me but the bill collecters... GRRRRRRRRRRRR.... I would best off be dead...
fuck it...

the cuts never heal.....
they only fester and weep.....
the infestion I call a life needs to end.......
I need an antibotic for life.....

6 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Final Notice.

07:22pm 19/09/2005

mood:

disappointed

Well. I have come to the conclusion that being nice and not be a pesting bitch will not get debts payed and my bills taken care of. I have been avoid for the last time. I will be going and talking to someone about going to small claim court in the next 2 weeks if I don't start getting relys from people that I thought were my friends about the bills I have payed that I was told would be repayed to me. so my last option is court. Yes some of you have set up a time to pay me back but others said it would be done and have not come through. Enought nice girl....... my son is suffering more from this then anyone else..... and its ENOUGH!

This is my Final NOtice.

4 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

04:19pm 03/09/2005

mood:

okay

ok so I got to the job on monday and it seemed ok. This week I did find out that I am not a very good sales person..... but Its a job. it pays my bills. or should when I get payed. It will get me through till I find something more along my lines. but I will not be taking any classes in school I don't think cause its too Expensive for gas and I don't get out till 5:30 and I work in appleton.. its about 35 mins and class could start at 6 and I would be late

glimpsed the foreboding end.

06:31pm 28/08/2005

mood:

apathetic

well I start a job at nine tomorrow.... I shall report back on this job prospect when i return from working the first say..... only time will tell I guess.. ~sighs~

I should be happy about this but for some reason I am not.....

glimpsed the foreboding end.

10:18pm 24/08/2005

mood:

annoyed

ok well I wasted 3 hours at a interview that was actually a job they wanted me to pay about285 bucks to get a liscense to sell Insurance....... I don't fuckin think so.... I need a job to have money to get that shit like that... WTF.... I need a job not a fuckin conjob.... fuck me in the head.

glimpsed the foreboding end.

09:13pm 12/08/2005

mood:

blank

well its offical.... there is no knight in shining armor.... no such think as an angel ment for me.... I am trapped in only this hatefilled misery.... I pray to my Goddess and no answers or help has been yet to be seen.... so what is left.... what I have to look forward to.... can anyone honestly answer this question for me????

anyway I guess I have been forgotten once again by everyone.... and now I am broker then a poor ass bun with no shoppin cart and no box to keep me out of the rain....
I guess I am just SOL again..... what a wonderful life I can give my son.... someone please shoot me like the lame ass I am....

9 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

LMFAO

02:58pm 27/07/2005

mood:

amused

1 Unicorn glimpsed the foreboding end.

Ok This site needs to be corrected.

11:28pm 21/07/2005

mood:

aggravated

http://www.angelfire.com/comics/squeejthmfan/jthm.html

Ok..... this is what PISSES ME oFF.... people who think they know what the fuck they are talkin about in comic books when CHARACTERS DON'T fuckin EXIST!!!!!!!!!!

The Phsycho DOUGH BOY this stupid fuck talks about does not exist!!!!! the DOUGH BOYS Names are MR. Eff & MR FUCK..... DAMNIT people who have sites should get thier shit STRIEGHT!!!!!! Fuckers... ass weeds on splody. ...... ok..... Now I need the Directors cut just so that I can see if this fool is on crack or If I am a Raving Idiot.....

Anyone Got a COPY????

2 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

another quiz... Johnny related yeah in that mood......
		11:14pm 21/07/2005
	Walking....stop pacing about the room and make up your mind already. What JTHM moment are you? brought to you by Quizilla
		glimpsed the foreboding end.

10:49pm 21/07/2005

mood:

amused

Ok upon many discussions with Jhonen fans.... NYNY and Addy namely we talked about what Character I would be if I was a Jhonen character. we had desided on Devi or Nail bunny.... well I have found proof that colaborates with this!!!

devi

your Devi!!! you have a bunch of crappy dates, but
it reached an alltime low when NNY tried to
kill you. now you live in constant fear of him.
SRY, NO PIC AVAILABLE!!!

which JTHM character are you? (with pics!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

glimpsed the foreboding end.

Job hunting like crazy.

06:55pm 19/07/2005

mood:

anxious

So I have been crazily looking for jobs. anything would work for me right now!
I think I have sent out 6 -8 resumes today alone. and that is just a start. so heres to hoping that in august I should have a job. Tho mom said that she will take care of anything Z needs It makes me feel like utter shit cause I feel that I am not being the mother that I need to be for him. but I guess as long as he is getting what he needs then its all good. Oh and now Z has started to use the potty all by hisself. if that is even how you say it. SO Zander turns FIVE on Sunday. that sould be fun I am taking Britt with Z and I so we can have a little time before she has to leave on that coming Tuesday. Its not going to be fun to have her leave but I know this is what she wants and I don't honestly blame her. I wish her all the luck and damnit woman Visit me sometime. and maybe I will be lucky enought to be able to come see you too. Hopefully for Your wedding. ;)

OK well I will talk to you all later. and no pony listings this time :P

2 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

More Ponys.

09:10pm 17/07/2005

mood:

crushed

OK well I have two more ponys that I have finished. one is a faery pony. the other is just a lil fancy type pony. On another not so wonderful note.

I have lost my unemployment and I have no job. my money matters are way over what I can pay and my bank account is done to almost nothing. as it stands now I don't like how things are going. I need to see if anyone wants to buy any of my stuff or I am going to end up out on the street.

( pony Pics Collapse )

2 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

NEW PUNKY PONY

04:46pm 16/07/2005

mood:

apathetic

ok well heres the New punky pony I finished yesterday.

( Pics of New Punky Pony Collapse )

4 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

UPDATE ON COUCH.

02:55pm 15/07/2005

mood:

aggravated

well I spent must of wednesday cleaning the couch and it looks better atleast on the cushions. the back and frame is still very very BRIGHT but its better. I have to pay to have mom recover it later in the year but till she has more time she doesn't really care. they are pulling up the carpet and she was not even phased about the carpet being ruined.

On another Note. I have finished my Special Order for a Harry Potter pony for Jessica (for P2 people HPGirl or Fairy.) now if only I can get a hold of her. if anyone knows her phone # have her call me.

( Pony Pics Collapse )

4 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

02:42pm 13/07/2005

mood:

cynical

ok well today has been my day from hell.

Zander desided that he would paint our couch with food coloring this morning when he didn't wake anyone up. I woke up and dad goes you have a mess to clean up here( bathroom ) and living room. I was like what do you mean. and Z walked out of the bathroom door and was head to toe in color I thought he had gotten into his washable markers only to have looked and went..... oh fuck no..... please no.... AAAAAAAAAHHHHH..... its food dye! so needless to say... I may have to pay for the new couch cover as well as feel aweful for a long long time.

SO on a lighter note I did sell my Z? pony that I made. he is going to AUSTRALIA. *sigh*

anyway.. off to keep cleaning.

6 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

some quizes

05:57pm 20/06/2005

mood:

blah

You scored as Goth. Your A Goth!

</td>

Goth

95%

Emo

70%

Prepy

50%

Skater

35%

Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev

30%

Rocker, Mosher

30%

Trendy

10%

What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy E.c.t
created with QuizFarm.com

This quiz so nailed me.. tho I am confused about the preppy shit...

You scored as Boobs. You are attracted to: boobs. You're a boob guy/gurl!

</td>

Boobs

50%

Butt

42%

Face

42%

Abs/Stomach

33%

Penis

25%

What Body Part Are You Attracted To?(pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

This Quiz is soooo me.. gotta love the boobage....

Ok this one sucked....

4 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

should have, would have, but CAN"T

06:48pm 14/06/2005

mood:

crushed

Today I went back to classes.... and in the middle of class received a certificate for Highest Honors... my GPA last quarter was 3.85... I should have been happy but it only made me feel miserable... cause I am told I am a bad friend. well maybe it is all true. maybe I am not the best friend in the world. I have my problems and my issues. Hell All I have wanted to do that last few days is cut myself... and I have.... yah yell at me if you want or what ever but honestly it doesn't matter... Cutting isn't helping... its not taking away my pain inside.

I have not talked to my friend John in almost 5 days and or longer and we have been talking alot reasently. so now he is somewhere in alaska and I am worried cause the last time I talked to him is was pissed about his job and crying to come home. he even talked about hitch hiking home from alaska.... so yah I have called and left messages and am worried out of my head... my other friend says I am a bad friend cause I was not enthusiastic about her getting DSL.. ok yeah she got it and I was happy but getting sick of hearing about it. and when I tryed to change subject... she got upset...

AND to top everything... I have physically it rock bottom with life..... I want nothing more then to no longer be around.... cause I don't make anything better even when i try....

I should be happy but can't cause i don't know what happy is anymore. I am permanently miserable...

5 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

my name in Japanese.....

07:02pm 11/06/2005

mood:

amused

Your Japanese Name Is...

Nanami Kuga

What's your Japanese Name?

glimpsed the foreboding end.

Creating stuff in stuff

09:11pm 10/06/2005

mood:

busy

( What I have been creating resently!Collapse )

2 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

10:59pm 06/06/2005

mood: dark lose and alone

I don't have much to say other then yah and stuff... I was going to have a huge post ready just so that people know a little about what I have been up too but alas I am sooooo stressed out I just want to kill something or someone... tho at this time is all stress from my son.
I have been working on some new projects call goth lil ponys and I will be posting the two I have done when I actually feel well enought not to want to cut my wrists wide open.... on another note.. I have to hide for a bit..... I just need to get away... run..... somewhere....... who truthfully knows where I will go...... but maybe hawii or something. who knows.

glimpsed the foreboding end.

	tears_firechild
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