I called into work today with a headache. I have the sick time so I don't really care.
My dad made a smart ass remark that I've taken off 'more this year than ever' I've taken off 4 days in almost 7 months. Not to mention my first year or 2 working at the dry cleaners I called in on an almost weekly basis because I hated that god awful job, and they didn't care. Not to mention my dad doesn't have sick time, he has what is called 'bank time' which gives him like 3 weeks a year of him being able to call in sick/just cause if he wants to and he does it quite often. As per usual he is the typical hypocrite.

So I've been busy with school stuff. Almost done with the third week. After I post this I'll probably read through this weeks chapters to go ahead and take my midterm, it isn't due until Sunday but I may as well get it over with plus reading last weeks chapters are still fresh enough in my mind. I finished last weeks quiz on 3 chapters in less than half the time allotted and then scored a 39/40, it's also open book but I also have a chapter outline I did to help me some. The one I missed was a trick question, and it was the one question that I was kind of unsure of.

Next week is a trip to see my gamer friends for Renea's 30th birthday. I'm getting a cake made from a bakery here and it will be beyond nerdy. Denny is picking me up, which is actually causing him to drive about 2 hours out of the way to come get me, and he will do the same again when he drops me off. I have this feeling that he may be interested in me but I may be over thinking it. I had Stepha translate it and she thinks I'm probably right. I mean what guy who isn't already in a relationship with you makes plans to come pick you up and bring you back home all of his own volition. Not to mention this was all before I even knew about the get together and such. He basically messaged me with 'hey Brads about to send out a message to people he is inviting but I'm just going to pick you up on the (not so much) way." Then yesterday I was texting him about the plans for the cake and to be like btw we're bringing a cake with us, and I mentioned that I would be giving him gas money. His response was "well I'm mainly doing it to spend some time with you so I'm hardly being selfless."

...

I'm 25 and boys still confuse the hell out of me.

So my summer class started yesterday, it is art appreciation. I think i signed up thinking oh super easy 3 credits that cost me 700$. Well over the 6 weeks I need to do 6 essays weekly with 150+ words, plus respond to 3 answers by other students that are 'substantial' IE not 'hi bob, good response!' I finished this weeks already yay me! Although it took me basically 6 hours yesterday and another 4 tonight because I get so distracted and zone out and I'm indecisive so I keep rewording my answers and bah.

I had these problems a lot in high school which is why I usually did homework the morning it was due, and couldn't significantly study for tests because I could read a paragraph in my text book until the sun came up but if it didn't interest me I wouldn't absorb the information. After my mom mentioned that my sister just recently got onto meds for adult ADHD and looking up the symptoms I think I may also be my problem and has been, unfortunately it was never diagnosed when I was younger for whatever reason I guess it was never a big enough problem to get checked out to my parents.

I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor to discuss it so I'll see what happens. If it turns out I do have it, that means I did have it when I was a kid and that will just end up making me really aggravated because if I had been diagnosed it may have helped me focus on school more which is one of my biggest regrets, not focusing on school, doing better etc.

I'll start working on next weeks essay questions tomorrow, and sometime before midnight Sunday I have to take this weeks quiz on chapters 1 and 2, but my teacher hasn't posted it yet.

PS cut my bangs the other night!

At my moms watching terminator 2, which is one of my favorite childhood movies! Doing laundry, managed to actually clean the room yesterday which consisted of picking up all the shit from off the floor, putting it up putting up like 3 Trash bags of clean laundry from 2 Weeks ago, getting together the dirty laundry and putting it in the now empty bags. I vacuumed and I need to dust some too and put other little things up. I have such a limited area in my tiny room that when I accumulate new things I have no where to put them. That's when my room becomes a hot mess.

I also managed to start and finish a 400 page book yesterday. Starting another one today!

I officially start college classes tomorrow!

-So it's Friday again, yay!
-I for real need to clean my room this weekend, I keep putting it off but it's just getting ridiculous.
-Been trying some online dating, its meh.
-Made an account on interpals, most of the messaged from guys are just amusing in the I'm too stupid to go on a dating site so I'm going to hit on girls here way.
-I found a penpal in ENGLAND!
-I sent her first letter out this morning $1.05 to mail a 2 page letter. w.t.f.
-I realized I'm behind in my goal for books to read this year. I was aiming for 100, and I'm like 18 books behind at the moment.
-I think I'm going to sticky my widget tracker on my journal.
-That's about it I think...
-OH! I was also asked by my former wow guildies if I would like to join the D&D game they are starting up. It will be on Wednesday nights, I chose an elf monk and it seems fun!

So Friday night I went to see Snow White with my friend Leanne. We both thought it was good, I enjoy anything fairy tale related so it was a given, but it was nice to see the dark sides. Charlize Theron was awesome, and Kristen Stewart didn't do too bad. Honestly there wasn't a ton of dialog in the movie.

Saturday I woke up and had to get ready to go to Candy and John's wedding. It was awesome! I got all teary eyes when Candy came down the aisle. It was good too see them both, haven't seen them since around March when I happened to run into them at Yogurt Mountain. We both agreed we needed to hang out more so I'll probably start bugging her to do stuff. I highly doubt married life will change her since she and John have been together for like 7 years, and have lived together for most of it.

After the wedding I went to rite aid and picked up some makeup stuff.

Post playing with said makeup.

Then later in the evening I realized I was craving some Ocean Water from Sonic so I made the treck to St. Albans. Reminded me of when I used to go to the Brickhouse in high school for shows. Miss those times <3


Today I decided to make a trip to Sally's which ended with a $60 purchase of stuff. Got makeup pads, q-tips, face sponges, etc. Also got some 30 developer to try when I dye my hair next time. I use 20 and it gets more a dark red, 30 will probably be like HOLYRED. Then went to drug emporium to get some facial scrubbers and makeup remover. Also got some Elf products, I love that their stuff is .99 cents, its awesome.

Now I need to get off my butt and clean my room because at the moment its basically a death trap, I can't count how many times I've nearly tripped and nearly broken myself.

-So I'm at work, and it's Friday which means woohoo jeans and my vans all day!

-Rocking a pomp today!

-Having Chinese for lunch nomnom.

-I redyed my hair the other day, compared to how I used to have my hair back when I updated regularly it's completely different. I just finally took out my blonde bangs about 5 months ago in Feb. I had started dying my hair red again and it was just too tedious to bleach my bangs and dye the rest of my hair red. My hair is also longer and my bangs are pretty much fully grown out. I actually miss my sideswept bangs so I may have them cut again.

-After work I think I'm going to try and clean up my room some, it's a hot mess and all my clean clothes are in trash bags. I need to get the winter stuff out of my closet and unpack my summer stuff and get it all hung up and organized.

-Tonight around 10 I'm meeting my friend Leanne at the movies so we can see Snow White and the Huntsman, I'm pumped. Totally have a girl crush on Charlize Theron.

-Tomorrow my friends Candy and John are getting married. They have been together for like 6 years and engaged for at least 4 of them. I'm excited they are finally tying the knot!

-The rest of the weekend will probably consist of finishing my room up and relaxing and catching up on my shows that are DVR'd.

-More catching up with Stepha too!

So in November 2007 I moved back home to WV from FL. It was mostly pressure from my mother, plus from my sister and her crappy boyfriend at the time. Basically she wanted me to move out because he used me as an excuse to his never wanting to hang out at our house. My parents told me they would help with rent so I could have stayed but I didn't feel like dealing with that so I just chose to move back to WV.

I moved back on Black Friday, because I remember I stayed up to go get a GPS from radioshack for the move that I would be driving alone with a jam packed Camry.

I moved in with my dad because my mom is semi crazy and I knew it wouldn't be a good idea. Not to mention she had already converted my bedroom to a tv room.

I wanted to take a month off before starting my job hunt. 1 month turned into 2 and 2 turned into 4, finally in the beginning of June after being unemployed for just over 6 months I got a job. In those 6 months and probably another year to 18 months I was severely depressed. I didn't go out, I lost contact with tons of my friends and family. I gained back the weight I had lost before going to Europe plus another 50 pounds(so roughly 75 pounds of weight gain). Which gaining that weight in no way shape or form helped my depression. I can't say how many times I contemplated ending it all. I hated myself and life and once I got a job I hated it too.

I started playing world of warcraft(wow) in January of 2007 and it was probably part of the problem but also helped me when all I wanted to do was hole myself in my room. It allowed me to do that and still have human interaction, it also let me hide the fact I was fat. I could be whoever I wanted to be with a computer screen between myself and my guildmates.

I started raiding progressively in wow around May of 2008, and I stayed with that guild until around May of 2009 which is when I started getting burnt out with the game and raiding 5 nights a week.

I got back into contact with old friends, particularly my friend Candy who I started hanging out with constantly since I needed to fill all of my free time I had since quitting wow. I also started reading tons, which I hadn't done much of since the move. It helped me immensely. Although spending money on Mac makeup and books didn't help my wallet much haha.

The job I got in June of 2008 was at a dry cleaners, it was a single store, that was family run. It wasn't exactly what I wanted but at that point I just needed a job desperately. Summers were the worst at my job. We had no AC and when its 90f outside and all the presses and machines are on its ungodly. Winters of course were amazing because it was always nice and toasty. the thing that sucked about my job was it was a family business and I didn't get anything other than 1 week of paid vacation and 1 week of unpaid. If you missed more than those 10 days you didn't get the week of paid the next year. I didn't find any if this out until I had been working there almost 2 years though, which was awesome when I got back from my vacation in 2010 and I didn't have any money. It wasn't until summer of 10 that I finally got to go back to FL and that was because I knew it would be hard and it was. I loved the time I had there for vacation and enjoyed seeing my sister again but it was bittersweet.

In August of that year after a 3 month wow break I started playing again. right after my return my GM announced he was quitting so I joined my friend Kim's guild. I met her when my guild had server transferred the previous fall and she and I clicked and stayed in touch even when I took my break from the game. I started raiding again, 3 nights a week and it  wasn't progressive.

I still made a point to do things outside of wow and work like hang out with Candy and go out and about.

Life was pretty average at that point, in the summer of 2011 I took the civil service test to try and get a job with the state government. I passed and started getting contacted for interviews in August. My 3rd interview was with the West Virginia library commission. When I left the interview I just felt like it had gone really well and that it would be a job I would enjoy. In September I heard back from the library commission and they offered me the job which I gladly accepted.

Later that month my guildies were planning a get together for our GM who was turning 21. I was at this point where I wanted to go because I wanted to meet these people who if been spending 3 nights a week with for 4 hours a night. My problem was these people didn't know I was fat, except for Kim. Kim and I both couldn't come up with enough reasons to go mainly because it was so last minute and the cost and for me it would have been a 15 hr drive.

In October I started my new job which I loved and most days still do! Shawn which is a Librarian that started about 2 months after I did is actually legally blind. She moved to WV from NC for the job and because of that decided it was time to get a guide dog, so I actually get to have a dog at work with me all day. Her dog Journey makes work way more enjoyable. 

In December my mom and I went to columbus, OH to go shopping and basically just have a fun weekend trip. My guildies Brad and Renee live there so we ended up meeting them for dinner one night. So even though I missed the Sept trip I was able to meet 2 guildies during this trip and it actually made me feel more comfortable about later get togethers for the guild.

Kim mentioned she would plan something for new years eve when we both couldn't go to the party in Sept. I hadn't planned on going since it was December but then the day before I checked the weather in Philly and decided to head out the next morning. I told only a few of my guildmates and told Kim I wasn't able to come. I hadn't been on a roadtrip since I had moved back to WV so it was a good feeling being on the road again driving towards a good time.

I met Brad, Renee and Denny at the hotel; Kim was still at a diner with Ben and Allen. So I was able to go up to the room and plot how to ambush her. We had adjoining rooms for the weekend and only had a key for one door. So we bolted that door so that when they got back they told them the door was stuck and to knock on the second door and that Denny would let them in. So Kim pounds on the door and I open it with this stupid goofy smile and she goes from wtf to shock to holyshit happy in like .2 seconds then proceeded to scream and tackle me into a wall. We had some awesome times that weekend.

It was in January that I decided it was finally time to go back to school. Shawn was also really good at helping me with things, and cheering me on and just generally encouraging me to go back. I enjoy my job so much I decided being a librarian sounded like something I would really enjoy. I applied to WVSU and was accepted. First I have to get my undergraduate degree then I plan to get my MLIS once I get my degree.

In February for my 25th birthday we planned a get together at Brad and Renees in Ohio. Denny drove, Ben flew into Columbus and Kim flew to WV and then roadtripped it with me. Another super awesome weekend filled with drinking, shopping, and good food!

In April I registered for my classes in the fall and I also decided to take a course in the summer because I'm just so pumped to get back to my education.

In May I had my 6 month anniversary at work since I was a temp for the month of October. Basically that means I'm a real civil service worker and its pretty hard to get rid of me!

I start my summer class in just a little over a week. Stepha and I are starting to talk regularly again, and it feels like 2007 all over again. Something like a do over.

Hopefully I can continue with how things have been and only make them better. Stay in touch with Stepha because she takes me back to amazing times.

And if all goes as planned I will be updating this regularly, annnnnd making a trip to Canada to visit Stepha during spring break next year!

Hmm, I wonder if anyone still reads this?
I'm going to try and start posting in it again, although my life is very boring compared to when i was in high school and when I lived in FL. Now I just work, hang out with my friend Candy, and read books.

Although I did see Peter Facinelli(Carlisle Cullen in Twilight) 2 weeks ago, and met Michael Welch(Mike Newton in Twilight) this past Saturday that was good times. Esp since he kept looking over at me when I was taking some pics in the 'viewing area' and one of the Hot Topic employees kept looking over at me while I was in line and the guy at Maggie Moo's liked my nail polish...I've become a hot commodity apparently.

Thursday I'm off and so far I'm going to Barboursville with Candy to go to the MAC counter.

WTB someone to move with me to a better state and city. Like Cincinnati or Columbus, I would like that a lot.

By the way I'm pretty sure somewhere around the summer of 2007 I lost myself, and I'm pretty sure I've found myself in the past month or 2, its really nice to be me again.

OH! OH! and Sam Trammell who plays Sam Merlotte in True Blood on HBO he went to my elementary, Jr High, and High School, and his mom came into my work a few weeks ago. I told her she should send him to visit next time he's in town, apparently he's supposed to come visit his family in October. EEEE.