living well is the best REVENGE.

living well is the best REVENGE.

liz

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who am i?	[Mar. 18th, 2008\|02:07 am] liz
it's nights like these when i'm sitting up freezing cold in my apartment, cause i don't want to turn the heat on because i know it will run up my electricity bill. but being cold keeps me awake. am i settling? or am i hoping for the bigger picture? i see the future, i want him to be in my future. but is he ready? i'm getting baby fever. am i too young? i feel like my biological clock is ticking already and i'm only 22. he definitley doesn't agree with what i want right now, and i understand. i wouldn't at his age either. he thinks that i all i want to do is party but what i want more than anything in this world is to have a family. i love my family, my mom, my dad and my brother but i don't have the closeness and the openness that i used to have with the Jay family. but they're fucking crazy. and i think UNTIL i do find that place in life where i am complacement with settling down, then i will continue to want to go out to get my mind off of everything. i'm almost scaring myself by saying this..but i want kids. i don't know what's gotten in to me lately but everytime i see a baby i just think about how much i really want to get married and have a kid and just be blissfully in love in a domesticated kind of life. maybe i'm just living up to that cliche...wanting a big house with a white fence with a dog and 2.5 kids. but then i think about it, try to put it all in perspective...maybe there's a reason why i don't have a kid or i'm not engadged yet....I hate getting all religious sometimes, but maybe God has a different plan for me...especially with my career. But do I WANT to be that girl with the great career but is SINGLE For the rest of her life? Or the girl that finds the man of her dreams has the house..the kids..the dog?? I don't know anymore.
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i'm so sick

[Mar. 12th, 2008|04:59 am]

liz

[

mood

pissed off

]

i'm so sick of working my god damn ass off for nothing and having nothing to show for it. i've been work for the same shitty company for two years and they act like i don't do shit. i hope once i quit theyll fucking know what its like to deal with the shit that i deal with. if they have such a fucking problem with something that is going on with my performance why can't they say it to my face??? shit isnt that what management is about?? fuckin god damn communication? the shit that i have found out they have said lately is eating me up, because why?? becausei FUCKIN Care more about my associates that anyone else i know in that damn store and it has been a double edge sword because of it. i can't win. i try to delegate shit to other people but it will never get done. im the kind of person that if you can't get it done, do it yourself. i always put everything on myself. i'm so fuckin sorry that the people that work at my front counter don't care about their damn job. there's only so much i can fuckin do. i'm to the point where i want to step down from my position and look for a job elsewhere. i'm the only damn supervisor that is still in school, FULL Time and havea job full time i'm sorry i can't devote 60 hours of my week training my employees. i'm sick of this fuckin micro management bullshit. i'm out and i deserve better than this.

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i'm beginning to hate everything i know

[Feb. 23rd, 2008|02:22 am]

liz

[

mood

pissed off

]

you know you can be the nicest person to someone and somehow they can treat you like the biggest piece of shit in return. well, i don't agree with it. you call me some fuckin best friend but you care more about one of MY supposedly "friends" from work's opinion just because they buy you a fucking drink?? are you really that shallow?? i would not want to think less of you like that but the decisions you are making are making me feel like you could care less. i'm so fucking done with people. i don't trust anyone except myself and sam who i've known for 15 years. i believe i am one of the few people left on this planet that genuinally want something real and want to be with that ONE person for the rest of their life. but you can't trust anyone, especially in vegas. everyone is worrying about what the next big thing is, or where the coolest place to hang out or what people do i need to know so that i can get v.i.p. into pure. well, i honestly don't give a flying FUCK about that shit.

i just want a few of my true friends, my boyfriend, my family that's it. i dont' need anyone else's fake ass shit. i'm done. YOURE NOT WORTH MY FUCKIN TIME. I have my own goals HOW ABOUT YOU?? what are you doing with your life? apparently nothing. so go fuck off, forget my name. cause you are nothing to me.

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came out of no where..	[Feb. 1st, 2008\|12:48 am] liz
the situation that i had before ended up in me getting screwed over. that's what i get for opening up. and i thought he was different. i'm not stupid, i can figure out pretty quick what a guy's true intentions are. i never thought he would be like that. i guess i'm just another girl on his list. no one special. he doesn't even seem to care about me or our 5 year friendship. he acts like it's no big deal or even give any sign that he somewhat cares about my feelings. fuck that. so i run into someone at a bar, that i really havn't talked to in about 2 years. i wasn't even going to go out that night, cause i wasn't feeling good , but my friend wanted me to go, so i gave in. it was probably the best accidental decision i've made in a while. things must happen for a reason. sometimes things don't work out, cause it's not the right time, but later on things can be perfect. maybe this time it was good timing. but now i've been burned from a previous "guy that was a great friend". i don't want this to end up the same way. i really don't. but i'm not getting my expections or hopes up, cause it seems when i do that, it's destined to fall apart.
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sex changes everything	[Jan. 1st, 2008\|08:07 am] liz
i don't why i am letting this get to me SO much. i hate the fact that i care too much i hate the fact that i can't be a bitch and treat guys like shit and just use them for my own benefit. i'm not that girl. i'm the one girl that just wants something real...i don't want guys just for sex or a guy that will buy whatever i want at tiffany's. i don't care about that materialistic bullshit. i just want a guy that wants me as much i want them. is that asking for too much? i don't know where all these feelings are coming from ..i feel like they all came out at once and i'm so overwhelmed with how i feel about this person that is REALLY driving me crazy. i feel like i'm gonna go insane if i don't talk to someone about it. i havn't felt this way about a guy since what's his face. the others in between, i cared about , but it was totally different than this. but then i dont know if its just cause we've been friends for so long ..or if i'm just being stupid or over analyzing everything. all i know is that i can't stop thinking about it. it's eating me up inside and i seriously feel like i have no one to talk to.
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...thinking too much	[Dec. 30th, 2007\|02:51 pm] liz
i'm sitting here wondering if i did something i will regret. i don't want to regret it. but now that it's happened i can't change it. i kind of wish things had happened differently, it wasn't how i wanted or pictured it to be. i hope it doesn't screw everything up. i know what i want, but now i don't know if he knows what he wants. does that even make sense? maybe i've already missed out a long time ago, and he's already over it. i wish i just would've realized it all a long and not wasted my time being with the wrong person. but i hope what i feel now can become something more but at the same time i'm keeping my guard up cause if he doesn't feel the same way...it's going to hurt.
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*you are dead to me*	[Mar. 29th, 2007\|11:57 pm] liz
i can't save you from cutting yourself. even though all you wanted was my attention. you can't commit suicide, it would be too selfish. thanks for the birthday wishes, i will always love you but you can no longer exist in my mind in order for me to be happy. i'm happy i finally met someone new.
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girls that have no life, this is for you.	[Feb. 4th, 2007\|09:07 pm] liz
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls Baby if I act like that, that guy will call me back What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there Laughing loud so all the little people stare Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne (Drop a name) What happened to the dreams of a girl president She’s dancing in the video next to 50 Cent They travel in packs of two or three With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees Where, oh where, have the smart people gone? Oh where, oh where could they be? Baby if I act like that, that guy will call me back What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl (Break it down now) Disease's growing, it's epidemic I'm scared that there ain't a cure The world believes it and I'm going crazy I cannot take any more I'm so glad that I'll never fit in That will never be me Outcasts and girls with ambition That's what I wanna see Disasters all around World despaired Their only concern Will they fuck up my hair Baby if I act like that, that guy will call me back What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl Oh my god you guys, I totally had more that 300 calories That was so not sexy, no Good one, can I borrow that? I WILL BE SKINNY (Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing) (I like this, like this, like this) Pretty will you ** me girl, silly as a lucky girl Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl! Pretty would u ** me girl, silly as a lucky girl Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl! Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back Push up my bra like that, stupid girl! Baby if I act like that, that guy will call me back What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
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*life*	[Jan. 31st, 2007\|08:01 pm] liz
yeah i suck at it.
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what goes around comes around

[Dec. 19th, 2006|09:43 am]

liz

[

mood

complacent

]

so he sent me a message: "so who is this guy you're dating? he better be treating you good or i'll kick his ass". i told him about matt and that he treats me good. i asked him how ashley was. then he replied and all he said was: "she's fine..but nothing like i used to have."

almost made me want to cry. but i immediatley stopped and realized that this was his choice. sucks to be him. i have no remorse for him if his girlfriend treats him like shit or cheats on him. maybe he needs a dose of his own medicine. god, the irony of it all kills me. ha. makes me laugh almost. wow..is that mean? but enough about him. i'm with a guy that i think is actually a keeper. i'm happy. and i havn't been able to say that in a very long time.

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