r/bipolar

I feel like as a person with bipolar disorder (and multiple other chronic illnesses) in the US I have to have a part-time job of just dealing with insurance. Sometimes the uphill battle is so impossible. Maybe this is a "no duh" thing, but it feels like the insurance companies would rather we die than make this process manageable. I am not trying to get my bipolar meds covered this time (this round is narcolepsy medication), but I have struggled getting those in the past, too. In 2022, the inconsistent coverage of a treatment I was getting resulted in improperly spaced appointments, and that gave me extreme suicidality. Ultimately, I ended up in residential care at that time.

I know it is a privilege to even have private insurance, but it just gets me down sometimes that a corporation gets to decide if I get the treatment I need... My life hangs in the balance for a few hundred dollars.

I promise you I feel guilty enough as it is, so if everybody could just treat this with a little compassion or support, it would be greatly appreciated! I have bipolar 2, and it’s very well controlled. Before I was medicated correctly, my most high-risk hypomanic behavior came from the hypersexuality I know we all suffer from when we are in a manic state. I’ve been going through a little bit of that recently and sometimes also when I’m hypomanic I start thinking about just finding someone meeting them and marrying them because it sounds so exciting. This week I slept with two different guys and Dating and I just feel sick about it like I’m not in the monogamous relationship with either just to be clear so I’m not cheating, but I’m being completely dishonest because if a guy I was beginning to date was also sleeping with other women I would be disgusted! See the hypocrisy I have lol!? overall, the hypomania is much less intense than it used to be but the guilt I feel my behavior just wrecks me. It’s so gross and dirty and I’m just really ashamed.