My Life - The Soap Opera Version

Here's a little update of some sort:

University

Busy as always. I do  my assignments. I sleep I eat. I have decided what majors I am going to be doing now which is a help in what kind of classes I should do. I hate my psychology class and my friends often comment on my lack of focus in this class. I try to make an effort but feel because of my weaknesses (that psychology the units themselves are wholly based on). I don't think I want to continue with psychology next year.


I think I want to join some of the clubs but the drinking thing is off putting - plus there are a lot of sleazes around (the i'm not at your university - i'm here to get laid with a younger girl thing) My friends do give me some updates on what's around but having neither time & money = no fun.


Housemate

The relationship with the housemate at the moment is a bit rocky. I admit because of the time & money thing I've been preoccupied but I feel we made progress last night (I was trying to admit my wrongdoings in not cleaning or offering to clean) however my housemate just wants to keep going on and on about the same points which we just discussed. I believe this is inappropriate and I am under the impressions she believes I should apologising for calling her inappropriate. I am getting to the point where it's like living with  my relative again. It's unbearable and when I get things together I am out. For real. 



Writing 

Writing is going quite well -the saying when your personal life goes to shit (well it's not really going to shit but my housemate is a being inappropriate with constantly bringing up the old past things or harassing me about cleaning (which we ...did...sort out until she came home today and had another "talk" (vent at me) about this ALL FUCKING OVER AGAIN.) 

Sorry. Housemate ranting.

I believe that my chapters are pretty damn good this time around. I need to stick at it.

 Studying....the intention is there.
I get to the library to study
I turn the computer on.


Nope. No study.

Damn you internet distractions.

The topic was Asian/US Free Trade. (I know I am not from the USA...but what I said still applies) 

 Teacher: Fill the blanks, Countries who trade don't (missing word) with each other.

By this point I had lost concentration and was daydreaming.

Teacher: Any takers?

Me: Sleep. 

But my thinking of the comment actually saying it out loud ~ ackward....lol.

Everyone looks at me.

Teacher and Class are in hysterics. 

 I don't think I am coping with Japanese very well - I will be going to study French as of Monday.

I need easy credits - NOT headaches.

 Sometimes some of the people in my "closer friends" group can be such disrespectful assholes towards me. 

It feels that the relationship is heavily unbalanced, like they constantly make me feel shitty and guilty for everything. I don't think I want this anymore for myself, I don't feel like I can grow with people who constantly bring the bad things up about me. 

I mean I have my flaws and I can openly admit I am far from perfect but when you have to be isolated or ignored without anyone telling you WHY then i think its pathetic. 

No this does not include all my friends...just the 2 I thought would show me show decent amount of respect.

If I want to go with other people they constantly guilt trip me, first they wanted me to quit pantomime, the church group. 

Bleh. Fucking haters.
Sometimes i think loners have the right idea. Too bad I'm too social and actually care about other people to become a total asshole like these 2.

On the discussion of my housemate. She likes cleaning. No joke. She sincerely loves cleaning because it makes her "learn about developing herself as a person". 

She has decided (much to my chargin) that she will spend the week cleaning until her next payday which is at least going to be 2-3 weeks away. I don't really know if my sanity will handle cleanliness, we already live in tight quarters. I banned her from sweeping my room until I am out of the house, I would rather NOT see my possessions in a line outside where any asshole neighbour I have can steal them.

Being the good person I am as a housemate - my civic duties to housemateness - I did offer her the choice if she was "that" bored to clean my room or wash my car. She declined my good willed offer. Along with my offer to make more mess for her. 


Pfft some people are so damned hard to please or entertain. 

 Before anyone who knows me or likes the show asks.......Yes it has now been confirmed 100% by the CW network of the USA. (Der not here......*boinks self*)  The date of this great entertainment news was 16th Feb 2010. The sad news is the series creator Eric Kripke will not be headlining the show because of his 5 year plan for the show.

My thoughts towards this although being excited I am a little worried this sixth season could turn to shit. Jumping the shark so to speak. I think if they can keep a good storyline (I don't really like the 5th season Lucifier arc at the moment and I really wish they'd sort it out). The writer/s who have been taking over the series I like their episodes so it could go 50:50 either way.

Other things I hope/would want:

• I hope Ash the mullet dude from season 2's roadhouse comes back. My guess is he could even be god. Or he has/had some damn good news to share.
• ^ I believe this MAY have been confirmed within just the last few days.
• If god is shown (I think this might be done at the end of season) I would think it would realllllly ironic if god was an asian busty beauty, to see Dean the character trying to hit on her.

Actually supernatural although I love the show.... doesn't have as many females god should be a girl. Just because. Besides then the crazy girl hater fans can't actually hate god on the series.

• I think that if they can't write a good arc that the winchester boys should go out with a bang - they always go on about it in interviews....(just saying) - Yes this means DEATH OF THE LEAD CHARACTERS. 
• That good things would eventually come if Lucifier goes.
• Or the boys after they beat him can just go back to monster of the weeks or something.

I wish they would make the soundtracks better. A flashback with awesome rock music would be cool......even if its not Led Zepplin. Seriously if they killed the boys. Stairway to Heaven, Rock and Roll, Black Dog or even Travelling Roadside Blues. WOULD BE AWESOME FOR THE FINALE. 
Check wikipedia and google for more information! ~ ok...its not working. But go do what I told you to do if you don't believe me!

 The work crisis is over...hopefully I earned enough to sort out the few minor bills. Things like not working can make me stressed out and on a downer for awhile. I feel so much more relieved knowing that it is all ok now.

Orientation day went smoothly. It was a civil conversation when my friend and I passed the panto tent. Even though I do not respect some of the people I saw today all of them (minus one who was really childish by pretending I wasn't in front of him...pfft really mature from Rahul's end) at least it didn't end in me trying to choke someone in some fancy smancy wrestling move :P (although I don't think I know any good or cool ones. Not that flexible to be honest but ha ha doesn't stop me visualising a la mean girls taking some asshole out if they try being rude or stupid to me...) 

I have seen so many interests I wish to per sue now that I am not doing a solid 5-6 day week of pantomime. I am happy to find new interests to lead up on and orientation was perfect.

I think I handled the situation as best as I could for the sake of maturity and trying to handle a situation with a few people who shit me off through idiot behaviour. 

Although the pancakes nearly got set on fire (I CLAIM THIS WAS THROUGH NO FAULT OF MY OWN. )

The pan set on fire when I turned on the stove. The pictures were awesome though.....

 Today I didn't bother getting out of bed until 11AM. Or something a bit after that..... 

I feel like I haven't achieved much today - well not as much as my housemate's letter of anger towards other people on her wardrobe door. Whoa that was scary what she really thinks of our neighbours. O___O I hope there isn't another secret list with MY name on it. Seriously. She seems like a pushover but she end up as one of those people who could snap - way before I do! 

I am a little worried (although I was not snooping around her belongings on purpose I was actually looking for something) with some of the things she has written about other people, it feels she does not like other people very much in general and I hope she isn't thinking about the same things she has written onto me.Things like; Don't associate with this person, I wish this person would fuck off - those were some of the nicer things. Even though she didn't swear much from what I've seen. I'm worried my housemate has another side that I haven't seen yet. 

She also often makes comments about how many friends I have but she doesn't seem to want any friends. I hope this means she doesn't want to poach mine? I am a little worried about it all. I don't want to wake up and have accidentally offended her and she is over my bed with  knife. That would be funny if it was prophetic...actually not really. I am too happy with life to try and do things like get killed. :S


Also on Bold and Beautiful there is a new woman (well new to me since I tend to work or play video games than watch my favourite soapy soap opera). The weirdest plot is she is going to have Bridget's baby and she looks like she is up to no good - It feels like they are repeating the same story lines, and the lady Sandy Summers is most likely going to steal the baby or is Stella or something. Overall the show has waaay too much plastic surgery.

^ I shouldn't know such things but I do. I'm like the girl who knows too much about what's on T.V and what isn't. XD 

 Happy Talk 

I like to think about happy news first. Good news before the bad as I always say:

• I have my university classes sorted out. 
• Everything is well with the family (and some what to a degree the friends)
• I have my computer

and other things which I think I should keep to myself :) 

Beef

• People seem to be really angry with me because I sometimes need to put finance over them. Especially my religious friends. Seriously some of them are being so immature and close minded.
• My work. 
• Telecommunication companies seem to try to steal money off you in a frequent basis - try like $500 

Watching a documentary on pallative care and death, its hard to watch death and how people cope with this. I think documentaries like this have taught me to value my family and look after my body and well being.

 Watching the "missing" episodes of Supernatural season 5. I am still quite pissy they got rid of the most awesome tv series for awhile.

Guilty pleasures. Tee hee hee.

Favourites of the season 5x08 (Changing Channels) --- The spoof of "I've got gential herpes" - CLASSIC. Also I love the occasionally recurring character - The Trickster. Ever since Mystery Spot and mainly Tall Tales. Trickster although ugly (and looks like my landlord) is hilarious.

I could probably quote a whole chunk of the episode. (Fangirl much?)


My other favourite would be 5X11 (Sam Interrupted) ----- PUDDING IS NOT FUNNY. The drugs thing was. Boop

I wish I was an actress.

But who wears sunglasses at night? :P 

Go figure.

When I opened one of my practical gifts from the holiday season I was happy at how much it reminds me of my relative. I appreciate her gift very muchly now I have the chance to use it.

Sometimes working can be stressful. Thing is I'm not one of those people who hate to work...ok I hate house cleaning and any form of cleaning but I'm kind of over the hospitality (sp?) industry in general. 

To be entirely honest not a hell of a lot keeps me from staying. Money and recession times being the main two. I feel I have significantly gained by this financial independence, but when can you put up with crap conditions. I know  I know I wasn't expecting a cushy job....

JC agrees that when going to that work you feel all depressed and drained. You walk in happy and leave with a horrid pit in your stomach.

Working relationships and customer interactions should be minimal but polite. I don't know which group I'd like to bitchslap more. Honestly. I feel so unloved as an employee.

I wish I could pull money from trees but it's not likely. 

The best part of the day is when I leave and blast my stereo up to block out all the assholes.  

As I lie in my bed, exhausted after doing the whole new years celebrating, I got thinking.

Even as the random over the top skanky girls stumble on their way home in their ridiculous heels, ok I love ridiculous shoes too but I can wear mine sober or drunk- ok like I'm offtopic now... As I was saying. Even after that moment where it struck midnight and some people totally kissed a random nearby and people crawl and cry out of the sleazy part of town intoxicated or totally gone.

It really made me think that I don't want to be like that and I want to celebrate new years in 11 achieving stuff sans getting smashed. I'm not sure what I'm saying now but I'm tired and it's like being high, drunk or stoned (you decide) and you can happily babble away like now.

But yeah I'm going to make something of myself this year and fuck the haters and my good for nothing parents. But I'm going to try be happier and spend more time with my amazing family and friends who I love more than anything.

I'm also going to get that holiday regardless of what that bitch of a mother of mine does. I am something and so are you guys.

If you managed to read all this I end this philsophical passive aggressive thought with wishes of happiness for my friends for the new year.

Ps. Also going to learn freelance make up professionally as a hobbie!

I always call those who matter most to me. On the days I don't go nye eventing I prefer watching tv

Here's from me to you - everyone who reads this and to the people who like totally secretly spy on me using this :P (you know who you are and you're IT!...plus some others who i think i know who read this some i like others not so much but its a special occasion so i'll play nice :P jks)

Merry Christmas!!!!
Merry Christmas!!!!
Merry Christmas!!!!

May you have a great day and new year for 2010.

Lots of hugs and best wishes

xx

E.

(Note to myself: You did it. You managed to survive another year and lived to tell the tale! Well blogged it...)

My head has recently being feeling like I’ve repeatedly rammed it against a truck.

Nice analogy I know, but the thing is I haven’t been drinking (quit that rubbish out mostly the beginning of the year and will only drink on special occasions or when I’m really really bored with the company I am with).

The only things I can put it down to are;

Stress (my mind is an odd one, even when I feel happy I can’t stop thinking about bad things. Well not always but only around certain triggers like certain family members and friends).


OR

The lack of sleep I have had for the past week or changing energy related things.

Who knows but I feel really out of whack!

It has also finally dawned onto me we are in December. I did manage to survive another year. It was a year of new beginnings. Not like last year which wasn’t that great. (2008 I mean). I still haven’t even considered presents for the family or friends. That’s how out of it I have been.


Still I’m sure I can have some time when I have another rare day off to find something suitable. :)

Well after about a week or two from when it was released here I finally got my ass down to a local cinema, to see the second twilight book, New Moon. I reeeeaaaallllly regret not going down earlier to watch it. I personally think it is better movie wise than the first one.

I am a person who loves the visual imagery of movies (well I was doing a film making/photography degree for awhile) and the cinematography is FANTASTIC. My favourite scene without ruining it would be the Victoria fight scene. It easily takes the cake as the best part of the movie, and the accompanying soundtrack, Thom Yorke's Hearing Damage made it so eeiry and I got goosebumps.

Another great scene was when they went to Italy to meet the Volturi. Dakota Fanning was brilliant in my opinion as the vampire Jane. The fight scenes in the Volturi's Manor were probably the second best scene of the movie.

The only thing I can say I disliked about the movie was the soundtrack was more indie and less well known than the first movie's soundtrack. I would say (this is probably different for every fan of the series) that Hearing Damage was easily the best song on the soundtrack. And this soundtrack will probably expose more little kiddies (who like the twilight series) to music that is actually good :D

(Note: the song Moving Mountains from the second or third New Moon trailer if it is actually on the C.D would be worth listening to as well :D)

Anyway for those who do like the series and haven't seen it yet. I say go see it!

It has left me inspired to continue writing on my beloved writing project.

Christmas is also upon us. I find it a bit sad when I go to work or other retail based shops how they force Christmas onto us so early. I think people are losing focus (well retailers) on the spirit of Christmas and its becoming way too commericialised and politically correct. It is sad because things used to be so much different from when I was a child.

I am still looking forward to planning gifts and catching up with my family. Even if some of the family are slightly crazy (not mentally but just mannerisms I don't possess myself). I haven't got any ideas of yet as to what I am going to buy everyone. I really should make a choice soon about this - shouldn't I?

Speaking of Christmas I am getting a list in my head of what I want. (I know this sounds very terrible. I know exactly what I want but I can't pin point what I am going to get other people.) But I guess this is something that all of us face sometimes. And if I don't get some of these items I am just going to buy them myself :)

I am looking forward to Christmas a lot though. I am starting to feel that spirit XD

Although the only Christmas related thing I will not support is (according to one of our chefs and this was in his words, because he is a man of many funny words) "Instead of doing stupid fucking Christmas Turkeys every fucking year why can't we do roast reindeer with a cherry on top."

If only we all had the Christmas spirit like Chef.

Ok well communications was a piece of cake. Except one thing....George Orwell was  the inventor/creator of the Panopticon?!

It's time for another WHAT THE HELL?! moment........... Well sure he had room that room of fear - Room 101. But nooo wrong person altogether.

Oopsies.

Most likely after reading my notes messed up the exam for commerce big time.

Eggs as an analogy to workers. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!

Exams are realllly annoying. I am actually somewhat more concerned about these exams than my last ones. What if I don’t pass?! I will be bidding adieu to law school for sure.  I am trying not to think like a downer but still.....I don't know right now.

 

 

^ To make this sound like I have spent the last month making an intelligent thoughts to what I will be blogging I shall add a picture to make this look bigger and more readable. But on a more humourous note; that poor child would have some serious nightmares after that bunny. XD

I have tried to preoccupy myself with something to do after exams. Or at least look forward to. The idea of karaoke hasn’t seemed to go down well with some people, ok maybe the people I don’t really like that much (because they are somewhat negative at times to talk to), but meh. I feel it’s obligatory to invite some of these theatre people. (This “obligatory” is a word right?) To be honest, I’m over the whole I have to pretend to act a certain way and say things to get a bunch of people who probably don’t like me that much anyway to at least treat with me with a little more respect than they give. God forbid I get on their bad side.  I feel drained and badly influenced at the best of times around some of these people, not all. But feeling isolated with some of them is annoying me. I’m not used to people talking down to me like that or some people who have very little skills when it comes to proper communication.  I get the feeling most of them pretty much shit on anyone who has a different opinion to what the majority (and more “popular” or weirder members) say anyway.  I don’t know if I can keep pretences up that I can be like that as well. I don’t think I’m a horrible person nor do I want to do horrible things, so I don’t really get why some of these theatre people have such off-putting attitudes.  Nor do I want to be nasty (if possible) to some other people because someone else doesn’t like them. I think as a former doormat that I am learning the hard way , you can't win everybody over.

Other than the exams and the ongoing retarded politics of the theatre group things are good.

 I officially will declare I am so dropping the commerce part of my degree next year until I can do a full law degree. I am NOT happy with the buffoon I ended up with as a partner. He is sexist and disrespectful and seems to think that I have a problem with the assignment and therefore should be doing his work. I acknowledge he TRIED to do something but he should just stop at some point. *sigh*

This will be a loooong night guys.

The Back. It's not comfortable to have people stare at you. Even if unintentionally. Although lecturers tend to pick people out of the back to answer questions.

 CS4 Dreamweaver is starting to become slowly easier to use in general. I am a little surprised they decided to take the WYSIWYG features out which makes HTML so much easier for newer users.  Things such as colouring are not easy for those who don't know what they are doing. I.E - Me. (This is partially because I have only used CS3 up until now).

The assignment is so close to being finished. I'm not going for creativity points but rather something that is simple and plain to use. I don't like those ambitious show-offy kinds of people who think creating a fancy website will get them points in first year. Silly idea.

I am also enjoying the wonderful vocal and musical range of Regina Spektor. I think people should listen to her. :D She is also rather pretty.

Housemate still sucks balls and called me at work just to whinge about the air fresh spray thing I sprayed in my room. Because I don't like the smell of it and my stinky shoes don't make things easier. Phew. Thank gosh I can wear heels to university.

 With the way things have been lately i think i have let everything get to me professionally, academically and personally. I suppose it's ok to sulk on here since I'd most likely get told off or something and I'm not really into causing conflict and stuff. 

Assignment time means I'm not really thinking about anything else but doing a good job.
Work time means I am trying not to get fired or go insane with boredom. If I think about money or what's in front of me then things are better.

I didn't appreciate being embarassed after being yelled at for wanting to do my assignment and dancing once in rehersals. I feel if i don't go people will get angry and talk about it behind my back but if I do turn up and do something then I am losing. Apparently things will be worse in production week. I sure hope not....I don't like being yelled at at all.

I try make an effort to come. I know I was slack at first because of other commitments such as moving but it still gives no one the right to make me feel like shit for trying to do something for one day. Someone else does it and it's perfectly fine..major assignment! No problem! I have 2 lines and it's not like (in my own opinion I can't vouch for other people) to try and be friendly and speak louder. I think the "it's production week" is a bullshit excuse to be honest despite me doing my work today instead of rehersing the whole time. (I did actually do some of the dance scenes though).

A couple of people are really starting to piss me off in general. Mainly with rehersals but a couple of friends too.
Why can't everyone take their problems and shove it god knows where....

This whole costume makes me go what the fark?! ....and yes I did check to see if she's all lady. I'm not sure I'm fully convinced on this one.

The hunt for the guitar has been crazy.

No one sells the guitar brand I want. This means ordering it online and either sending the guitar to someone’s address (with curious questions) or having to either get myself or my housemate to sit by the letterbox to make sure someone will not steal it. :(

At the moment being sulky and procrastinating seems to be in at the moment. I think it’s a mix of being tired in general (working and studying full time can suck balls – good for money and my standard living but bad for studying and social life).

I forgot how hard work was again...and how much it hurts! But the pay is motivating me. I’m thinking I want to move to sales or something after the waiting period is up. I forgot how much I hate difficult customers and heavy lifting of boxes I can’t carry at all.

^ By all mean don’t get me wrong. I love my job. Well...I love money. The conditions I am working in are fantastic. I can eat what I want and get great discounts.  And I’m trying to be open to my hours but university classes are very awkward when trying to plan things. I think I shall start to like it soon...I hope....or is that what my family want me to say? Hm....but the money is good.

The performance will be opening soon too. I can NOT wait.

It’s been a little hectic with some people as some people decide they don’t want to turn up or act like pains in the ass. I haven’t been very projecting of my voice...so this needs to change too. It’s going to be interesting on performing night.

I’m currently procrastinating about assignments and dreaming about what my pay check will be spent on. Holiday money will come soon. I know what I need to save.

Over the last few weeks things have been really hectic. With rehearsals for acting up to 5 days a week and dancing classes at least 4 – with study on top of that it’s INSANE.

University has been a bit of a rollercoaster –

Classes are going great. I enjoy being there. Rehearsals are fun to come to.

Only bad news is one week is not really long enough for a study break. :( It is sad. Because I have 2 assignments due and I have had very little success with finding out things about pre-modernized Japan in the books? My teacher doesn’t like websites so I am trying to do the right thing. BUT IT’S SO BLOODY HARD. After my semi break (I have been thinking this all day). I shall try making another effort to find some more books. 4 might not cut it.

I finally made an effort to look for work - with great success.

Outside of university I am looking to start learning piano and guitar again. I am going to buy a little girly Daisy Rock guitar. I’m thinking uber pink and uber glittery, or a white acoustic one. Since they don’t make their acoustic guitars pink or very glittery :( They stopped making the guitars shaped like a flower too. This also sucks balls. But - yay. Guitars! So the choice is to either learn the electric guitar...and I don’t know anything major about guitars except the different types. General consensus is I need to buy the electric Rock Candy in Atomic Pink.

http://www.daisyrock.com/products/rockcandy/rc_pinklabel.htm

^ This being the guitar of awesomeness.

I also have the song “Heart of Glass” stuck in my head.  Blondie... naturally.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8VKLaCiqQo

^ This may or may not be Blondie.

I am going to be creating a seperate blog regarding my writing creative project. It keeps changing all the time and I do need some imput from interested parties. Creative block isn't really applicable here - just too many ideas and unable to put it in writing or the idea sounds really bad or something that would less likely get published.

University assignments? - Are they that interesting to blog about lol? Sometimes. The interpersonal relationships at university are waaay more interesting...as mentioned in my other non-public blogs.

If you're reading this JR. Quit f--king stalking me online. It's creepy and it's not "conversations we had". It's conversations I had with OTHER PEOPLE. Weirdo. It's annoying just like your lame personal attacks on me and the other people I am friends with and I will drop you as a friend until you grow up.

University has become an interesting experience. I have had my 2nd now and it has been great catching up with the friends I actually missed more than I realised. I love being able to ask them for help and them showing me around - everyone has been so great to me :D I like the social life the university provides as well. ;) Hot boys hot boys. A girl I know defined best why she came to the same uni. "To meet hot guys".  Well and to get a degree and stick it to a few people who called me stupid along the way. It's still a little overwhelming but I'm getting there.

The hot guys aren't really in my classes. Most of them look like the "taken" type or sleazy like a certain ex friend of mine. I have skills when it comes to spot the a-hole.


The course I am officially doing is Arts and Commerce. I have no bloody idea what my majors will be. (I know. It's very smart of me).

The classes I am doing are all business based well sorta.....but they have touches of art topics to them. I'm not really digging anthrapology at this time. It's nothing like contexts of modernity which was philiosphy based. And I managed to butcher my attendance with that lecture...but I will point out since tutorials are compulsory I do attend those.

The other 2 (no idea why they didn't put me in the 3rd class) are alright.


Hopefully I meet this mentor person soon so I don't get overwhelmed by paperwork. Eek.

The camping was fantastic fun. I met many people and would love to see them all again.

Just saw the AMAZING stills of the Alice In Wonderland 2010 movie. All I can say is WOW.

 


<< and this is Johnny Depp. NOT Elijah Wood. He's the Mad Hatter.

Well I was looking on the internet as usual looking for something else and found this awesome (yes I love reading about interpersonal relationship articles...self help is good you know ;) ) We can't all be like Henry the Eight and do the "OFF WITH HER/HIS HEAD" smick in the 21st Century. (But I don't remember Henry the Eight being a Homo).



Sorry Henry.

Anyway...here's the article. It spoke to me brilliantly.

5 THINGS GIRLS WON'T TELL YOU (OR THEIR BOYFRIENDS)

1. We like the chase – you chasing us.

(Oh this is SO true.  A challenge is much more fun than the easy going guy. What is wrong with a man doing a little effort these days in the arts of wooing....not just the woman. Or being spit out and used.) 

"Yep, it’s sad but true that when a guy is too eager to catch us we wonder why. What is wrong with this guy? Why is he so clingy? Is he a control freak? Is he a serial dater? A player with many girlfriends on the go? Is he insane? It’s not that we don’t want to be caught, we do, we just don’t want to feel trapped and when things happen too fast trapped is how we feel. We need to be sure of our feelings and of our attraction before we can step off the racetrack and give up the chase. You ne

ed to woo us to make us yours. Some guys lay out traps, saying all the right things and meaning none of them, in an attempt to woo us and this gives way to our biggest fear; falling prey to an insincere guy who is more about the game than being in a relationship.."

2. When we say we’re “OK” or that things are “fine” the opposite is probably true.

(Ah I think this one is a bit overused...and some of the guys are onto this one. Still it means what it means and it is done time and time again..so it does seem to work to a degree.)

"So if you sense there’s a problem and gather the courage to ask us and we respond with a “fine” or “it’s ok” or some other sentence with less than 7 (short) words chances are good that we really want to talk. So, you think, what’s a guy to do? You ask a question, you get an answer, and you plan based on that answer. Who wants to read between the lines or guess what is really going on? What a waste of time, right? Wrong! When girls pull the short answers out during a conversation it is because we want you to put the effort in to getting us to open up."

3. We want you to have your guy time.

(Ha...I'm not sure about this and me. I like my independance.)

"It is when we feel like you don’t make as much time for us as you do for them or that you resent being away from your friends when you are with us that the stereotypical “girlfriend verses the friends” scenario takes the stage. It’s all about balance."

4. We want to know your friends but aren’t so sure you need to know ours.

(Yeah I don't need an ex or a current partner slagging me off if something bad happens. I don't mind introducing after a month or after I actually get to know the person. I like having people suss out "is this the guy for me?" thing. And yes...maybe I should have learnt from the first three times on this one.....Bitter raw subject.)


"I’m not going to lie; this is hypocrisy in its most raw form. We want you to bring us around your friends, we want to know them and we want them to like us, but we aren’t quite as crazy about you knowing our friends.

We also fear, but will never admit fearing, you wanting one of our friends more than you want us. It’s bad enough to lose your guy to another girl but when that girl was once a friend, well, the sting is even sharper. "

5. We worry that other girls look better now that you are in a relationship.

(I don't think I'm that insecure. I'd rather not be used "for benefits" above all things)

"The idea that life is better on the other side is one of the most destructive forces in relationship world and girls feel that guys fall for it way too often. It is a great fear of ours that once you can’t have other girls you will suddenly want them all. It leads to a lot of unfounded jealousy brought on by innocent comments on your part or casual non-flirtatious conversations with other girls."


I'm sure there will be girls out there who can probably relate to one of these at a time..or maybe even more. But deep down we all know there is a part of that article that is true. ;) It's good to see it on writing though. The Green Eyed Monster is not a pleasantry.
 

****************************************************************************************************************************


Now here's one I'm sure any guys...and yes I know I have more guy readers than girl readers (and they don't necessarily need to make public comment on this thanks.)  The same website also has a Male version. I thought I should put this up before I get this out of my system and because I'd rather not  be labelled as one of those "little ignorant girls who knows nothing about guys but makes all these comments."

I've been out with a lot of guys. (Not sleeping around too thanks because that sort of thing is NOT for blogging)  I know what I am talking about and what I like.

Enough with the commentary.

5 THINGS BOYFRIENDS DON'T TELL THEIR GIRLFRIENDS

1. We like being “the boyfriend.”

"We other guys have a word to describe our flakey won’t settle down counterparts – immature. For the most part guys love being in love just as much as girls do."

2. We don’t like when you pull away from us.

"Keep it up and everyone just gets tired and calls it quits. So once you’ve landed your guy don’t keep playing hard to get, instead let him know that you’re happy you were caught."

3. We want our friends to like you… but not love you.

"In guy world the approval of our friends is very important so it makes sense that we want our friends to like you. But what we don’t want is for them to covet you. When we hook up with a very hot girl and our buddies ogle her it is a real turn off. This is why so many really pretty girls find themselves single. "

(I think...I just found my problem.....besides the fact I have a very rotten temper when crossed and I'm very shy. But hey at least I admit that.)

 

4. We want you to like, but not love, our friends.

"This one goes along with the other one for obvious reasons but there is a little more to it.

We don’t want you to go out of your way to get our friends to like you because we want your energy focused on us and only us. We don’t want you to care what other guys think about you. We want your efforts and attentions to rest firmly on us."

5. We worry that YOU will dump US.

"When we like you, we like you and that’s all there is to it. In reality we probably spend more time worrying that you’ll dump us than we would ever spend thinking about dumping you. So relax and stop fixating on how or when our relationship will end and just be our girlfriend."

Well I was reading today that Ashton Kutcher was twitting away about his wife's doll collection and how creepy it is. What is it with dolls that guys don't like? E2 HATED my doll (no I'm waay too old for barbies but I have a porcelain doll that was given to me as a gift many many years ago and it has personal and sentimental value) when he used to come over to my apartment. He was like "eww creepy doll". Nice one mate. He won't come over or inside after he found out about that porcelain doll.

But seriously...do guys really get creeped out by dolls?
(We are talking about PORCELAIN DOLLS HERE not the generic barbie or other play doll) 

Anyway I tried to investigate why guys did not like porcelain ornamental dolls and came across this humourous link.

DOLLS TO AVOID
Of the human variety....

http://inventorspot.com/dolls_to_avoid


Haha even though I hate some kinds of guys...this guy nabbed perfectly some of the girls that are out there that are single..and may be susptile to some of the traits, I'd hope not but sometimes a woman has more of the eviler dominant traits. (See I can poke fun at myself and females :P)

He (I assume it was a man who wrote that) even has a MALE VERSION

http://inventorspot.com/men_to_avoid


Enjoy.

Today I read Dootie's post with great interest  and I think you should all too (expect Dootsie because she already has read it and was the one who linked it and I have now stolen from (BUT I DID CREDIT YOU :P) ) *Linkage below*

http://littleowl.com/heidi/2009/05/18/on-my-way-to-fat-activism/

This article she linked to I think I can really relate to, I am sick of feeling like shit and not attractive enough when I see other girls or when I look in the media. I'm sick of the fact guys won't date you here unless you're a dumb, bottle blonde, orange tanned skank ---- I think.....since all the idiots I've ever liked date this kind of girl..........I'm also sick of feeling I need to diet because I feel so bloated and craptastic. Just horrible about myself in general.

Ok for those who can't be bothered to read to the article:

THE 101

In summary the woman ( I think it is a woman) who wrote this blog, is very unhappy about her obesity but she wants to accept things and is sick of all the crap the media forces down our throats about dieting and being skinny and perfect. She wishes that people could accept their weight instead of focusing on something that won't make them happy.


Like I said I can totally agree here, I'm not exactly fat but I feel like it. Especially when I see other thin girls and stuff (modelling especially because I've been asked so many times about my weight and I got uncomfortable and disgusted about what these agencies said to the point where I pretty much accept my own jobs now because I think I'm ok...)

I think another reason why I diet/ want to diet  is because I have bad skin (well I do at the moment) and I went on a giant sugar and fast food eating spree the last 2 weeks but I've cut back on sugar for awhile now and then it's just shit...I really need something sweet like NOW. I think diet changes are good to live healthy but I don't buy into the weight watchers food thing (*or insert another company*) 


Also my relative isn't really helping out with the weight thing. I'm sick of her CONSTANT picking and comparing me to her daughter. Her daughter is very obese and apparently ate herself silly because of her home life issues. I wouldn't be surprised if my relative did the same thing with her daughter as she does to me about the weight. "When I was your age my waist was ******** cm and I was ****** kg"

Yeah that REALLY makes me feel better that I'm a few cm and kg off from you - despite the fact people have different bodies and stuff..

I'm so sick of her constant picking and making me feel like shit...


Yeah this was a bit of a wake up call...but I don't know if I can force myself to change out these bad habits of mine.

So he's been playing the whole "when you're at uni and when you're online on MSN I'll sign off 5 seconds after you or pretend you're not there." Not with any decent reason other than man PMS or whatever...I don't care anymore. He wants to make an effort he can do it. I''m not going to bother trying with someone who is selfish and immature. (I don't claim I'm better...but at least I can get pissed off and get moody for a reason and not cop out on other people unless they actually deserve it).

Sorry...but you've been caught out. Why do I know this? Because I've kept my status OFFLINE to see.

I think the idiot should give me more credit for knowing what he's doing to me...seriously. 4 times now. I'm not initating conversation since Monday. I sit there do my work and 95% of the time I'm not even on the computer TO talk/bug him. So yeah I'm getting a little tired of it now.

So I set a little trap up for him....call it reverse pyschology in a way - I'm not going to say what I did. It's not for public discussion. But either way he then decided after what I posted to talk to me.

Conversation below:

I'm basically too indifferent at this stage to bother with the small talk. I have people who do actually treat me like a friend..and not decide it's ok to avoid me and talk to  me one day and not the next. (Commentary include underneath)

SB: do u really have to have that set as ur name...

(Yes I do. If I have to resort to stupid tatics like that to get you to have one word to me then yes. I will put what I want. Then again if I wanted to be nasty I would have facebooked it to all 200+ contacts)

Me: go away. im sick of your games.
SB: what
SB:  i thought we were past this

(Oh wow. Bit state the obvious. I thought we were until you STARTED AVOIDING ME. Oh that's right. It's ok to be nice to someone's face but online and when they're not around or you're with your friends I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO ACKNOWLEDGE AS A FRIEND EH?)

(and yeah this isn't even about you doing what you did with my friend never was.)

Me:  i'm busy. go away. like i said i'm sick of your games. when you can act like a human being i'll treat you like one.
SB:  what games, y were u fine about it before but going nuts now?

(What does he take me for? STUPID? You've done this shit to me 4 seperate occasions. I think once is accident but 3 seperate times after this? Fuck off...I'm not that stupid to know when someone is playing games with me. And going nuts? I would have smacked him right in the face if I was angry....again I thought everything was back to normal but no obviously not.)

Me:  go look at yourself. i'm not playing your avoiding games anymore. seriously.
SB:  what games

(^ You tell  me. You're the one avoiding me and having mood swings on me)

Me: when you decide you want to talk to me or not.
SB: im not avoiding u

(*cough* Like I said...once is once...three other times? get out of town).

Me:  i don't get/care for being fucked around,
SB: seriously im not avoiding u, its just the last couple of weeks of uni, im just really busy, ive hardly seen anyone

(^ Excuses. You saw me at university last week you were "ok" then. )

SB:  honestly, im not playing any "games". why r u treating me like this?

(You tell me. I'm calling you out for having mood swings and deciding a friendship is when YOU want to talk to me or make excuses for issues that are supposedly put to rest...why the hell even bring that up?)

SB: look u know im upset about what i did

(Yeah. So you keep telling me. I'm sick of hearing about it. I don't care what you did anymore.)

SB: im sorry, for whatever i've done now

(See the thing is...just apologising all the time makes loss of the word. Sorry this sorry that. It's your actions that speak louder than your words. I'm nothing but upfront and honest when it comes to how I feel with everyone. Sadly I don''t apologise often. Because I don't feel the need to say sorry when I don't really mean it. Either way...it seems to be a favourite word du jour......

Just act different. Not say it and do nothing)

*An hour or two later*

SB: gunna talk to me yet?

(Oh now you're interested when I DON'T talk to you?)

Me:   ....
SB:  :(
SB:  ...  so still no then

(You're only doing that to reassure yourself that everything is all good as long as someone accepts your apology)

Me:  im going to bed.
SB:  kk cya
Me:  either way what's it to you.  if i do or don't talk.
SB: i dont people hatingme

(Well nor do I)

SB: like people*
SB:  i just wanna know whats going on

(I tried to tell you. You're the one who isn't listening or acting more like it.)

SB: anyway, i should go to sleep to
SB: cya
SB:  plz try and work past this

(Just so he can reassure himself "everythings ok" as long as you accept my sorry ass excuses)



Overall I think if you're going to play those games. Just log off for a few days. You can't act one way in real life and then get very snappy, ignore or avoidant online. It just doesn't work like that in a friendship. I'm starting to feel really indifferent. I'm sick of being hurt and used by people who just take advantage of my nature and reassure themselves that their behaviour is ok when it's not.

I'm sick of people fucking me around.


Oh and with all his talk of "let's put this behind us"

HE FREAKING DID IT AGAIN THIS EVENING. (Logging off when I'm there).

Either he's a hypocrite, stupid or really doesn't believe what he says.

Currently watching the logies in between my random internet browsing....

I don't claim to know much about T.V..I'm more of an internet and books person. I haven't watched a movie in a long long time and I don't really have a DVD collection at all. (That does need to change).

Needless to say I found the humour to be boring and not something I really "get". I thought the host did a terrible job...she looked like she was trying to molest this 16 year old actor from Home and Away....Seriously it's just a stupid popularity contest and it's not like the real winner gets picked most of the time anyway - especially with little bird brained kids voting.

Only thing worth looking at was Jennifer Hawkin's beautiful melon coloured dress and Kat Stewart's grecian like dress.




Complete waste of time and why do they even bother with this "let's make it hawt" when it just fucking sucks.

Pity nothing else is good on normal free to air T.V.

More are coming back tomorrow. I just want to be doing better than a shitty pass. I hate "just passing" classes. I need to be getting good grades. I am a bit worried about it. I'd like distinction -high distinction average if I can.

Like Kev Jumba puts it:

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGmO-jcKENQ) 

For normal people:
People who won't have parents who will get all "Why didn't you get an A?" ..."You could have done better" "Oh...98% - you could have done better and got 100%"

A -  Awesome.
B- Means pretty good - better than most people
C- Means you're slipping but doing ok.
D- Not doing too good.
F- Fail

"Asian Standards"
...and for that matter how some of my family treat grades.....because I've been pushed to embrace and accept nothing but perfection for my grades

A- Average
B- Bad! All the other Asians get As!!!
C- Standards for CRAP.  Your parents will lecture you and probably smack you.
D- Death - parents will threaten to kill you.
F-  Fucked - parents will abandon you.


^ That sounds exactly like what will happen to me.

University levels

A- High Distinction/Distinction
B- Credit
C- Pass
D/F- Fail



My point: KevJumba is so right about parental pressures.