(no subject)
I'm really starting to not believe in coincidences. Since the breakup things have generally been going well for me. Small ups and downs but mostly positive, seeing good people, enjoying time with friends and family.
But today was a real crappy day for some reason. I just could not stop thinking about Katie and missing everything about our relationship. Not for any particular reason, just out of the blue. Then early in the evening she sends me a text. She said her friend tom was moving in for the next 6 weeks and she needs my keys.
So of course, like most guys I know, I had a mini freak out. A DUDE moving in? So i texted her back asking to call me when she had a free second, and she did. I mean who texts their ex boyfriend out of the blue after 4 weeks telling them that their closest male friend is moving in?
But she explained to me that her and tom's relationship is as plutonic as can possibly be. Which was evident, I mean i would come home from work sometimes and they'd be in the living room playing video games. And Tom has a girlfriend. And Tom's father apparently said it best when he said "if they wanted to hook up they would have by now".
Anyway the point of all my rambling is, Katie and I were able to actually have a good meaningful talk for the first time since the move-out. I asked her if she misses me and she said yes. I told her I didn't want to give up on her. Understandably she stands by her decision still. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't go into the peace corps and have that life experience. But I'm not giving up on her and she knows that. Maybe I'll meet a girl between now and the time she comes back. Maybe I'll stop liking Katie. Maybe she won't have any interest in me when she gets back. Life will come as it comes. But I'm not actively giving up.
Anyway she was afraid to call or talk to me because she wasn't sure of my mental state. Understandable. Telling her the story of my trip to the bar with Brian felt really good. I want to still have her in my life, even if I do still have to block her on AIM and Facebook so it's not rubbed in my face whenever she's online. But talking to her every so often makes me happy, so I'm going to do it.
Is it so hard for us to just do whatever the hell makes us happy?
But today was a real crappy day for some reason. I just could not stop thinking about Katie and missing everything about our relationship. Not for any particular reason, just out of the blue. Then early in the evening she sends me a text. She said her friend tom was moving in for the next 6 weeks and she needs my keys.
So of course, like most guys I know, I had a mini freak out. A DUDE moving in? So i texted her back asking to call me when she had a free second, and she did. I mean who texts their ex boyfriend out of the blue after 4 weeks telling them that their closest male friend is moving in?
But she explained to me that her and tom's relationship is as plutonic as can possibly be. Which was evident, I mean i would come home from work sometimes and they'd be in the living room playing video games. And Tom has a girlfriend. And Tom's father apparently said it best when he said "if they wanted to hook up they would have by now".
Anyway the point of all my rambling is, Katie and I were able to actually have a good meaningful talk for the first time since the move-out. I asked her if she misses me and she said yes. I told her I didn't want to give up on her. Understandably she stands by her decision still. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't go into the peace corps and have that life experience. But I'm not giving up on her and she knows that. Maybe I'll meet a girl between now and the time she comes back. Maybe I'll stop liking Katie. Maybe she won't have any interest in me when she gets back. Life will come as it comes. But I'm not actively giving up.
Anyway she was afraid to call or talk to me because she wasn't sure of my mental state. Understandable. Telling her the story of my trip to the bar with Brian felt really good. I want to still have her in my life, even if I do still have to block her on AIM and Facebook so it's not rubbed in my face whenever she's online. But talking to her every so often makes me happy, so I'm going to do it.
Is it so hard for us to just do whatever the hell makes us happy?
