Bob, Bebot & Mitzi ♥

My father is a cancer and a stroke survivor. He suffered both illnesses at practically the same time in 2006.

The stroke took away his ability to speak and walk for a while, and rendered him aphasic and half paralyzed on his right side, neck down since 2006.

Today, he is able to converse, convey his thoughts albeit with staggered words and incomplete sentences, sometimes even with gibberish sounds because he couldn't pronounce the words well but it never stops him from communicating or trying.

He is also able to walk longer distances with the help of a cane. And he strives to improve his steps and walk greater distances than he has done each time. At the PT rehab, he works out happily three times a week. Excited to exercise. Never have I seen such a stroke survivor as a jolly patient. It's only him among the PT/OT rehab patients who seems to find passion and meaning to life despite what had happened.

For someone whom doctors said had only a 20% chance of survival, here he is. A living, miracle of God's faithfulness.

God took away what my father was at the height of his career--He was an excellent surgeon, civic leader, and manager. How he used his hands and abilities to help others tirelessly.

I could only imagine how he must've felt to be rendered "useless" with the paralysis, but his faith in God, strength of character and optimism and positivity has made him soar through his limitations without anger in his heart, continually inspiring and healing others.

This is what a man is made of... My Father: Dr. Bob.

Hi Everyone!

The annual Christmas letter is up and posted here, however I'm still uploading the "media goodies" (a.k.a. pics & videos).
I seek your patience and kind understanding with that.

Happy Holidays! 

Peace, love and good cheer,
Mitzi

...December 25, 2009...

Dearest Family and Friends,

In 2003, a distinguished opinion writer of one of the top Philippine dailies left his column space blank--his own way of stating his fearless perspective (or lack-of it) over the then issue of Noli De Castro running for a stake at higher public office in the 2004 elections. I remember reading that issue; there was a whole block of white space in the middle of a sea of words in the opinion section! Conrado de Quiros made quite an impression for his "loss" of words.

For this year's Christmas letter, I'm actually tempted to pull a Conrado de Quiros: Leave this entire letter blank after just a line of a "Merry Christmas" well-wish for everyone. Of course, I'd be coming from a completely different context from Mr. De Quiros. He was politically oriented when he did that, while I, on the other hand, simply find it utterly difficult to write about the year that was, as per tradition. If you've gotten to know me better these past few years, I've grown more and more quiet, more and more reserved. I'm finding it harder each time to share and disclose matters close to my heart. I'm afraid of being misconstrued and misunderstood. Not to mention that 2009 wasn't exactly the best year---I look back and the first thing that slams to my face are the heartaches and unfortunate events, personal and otherwise, as they were many.

But as I sit down and reflect, I am left with a persuasive thought, that perhaps this is the real meaning, albeit challenge of the season... To see hope, light, joy and love in everything big and small, and find reason  to be better amidst the sea of troubles.

But let's be honest, it is such a profound thought. It is not the easiest thing to do. It gets trickier each time to see silver linings in shades of gray. So I've been thinking, how do I make this challenge more real and attainable? The answer that I came up with was inspired by one of my Mom's basic rules: "WHEN IN DOUBT, GO BACK TO THE BASICS." In this light, I thought that if I could list down at least 3 things that I am truly, most thankful and grateful for this year, then I have enough reason to claim that I am one, absolutely lucky girl.

And you know what? Just when I thought that heartaches and storms were abound, slapping and slamming my face ridiculously, I was proven otherwise.

When I started listing down and reflecting on at least 3 things that I am truly, most thankful and grateful for this year, I learned, more than anything that yes, 2009 wasn't the "best" year for my family or myself especially, but it wasn't as bad as I initially thought it was. There were a lot of reasons to smile despite all the blows. I realized that no matter how seemingly sad or heartbreaking and consecutive all these trauma-inducing, collective events have been, there have been delightful surprises along the way too.

The fact that there are simple joys and blessings in seemingly dire circumstance definitely make things better. Even if things could be up to your nose, breathing spaces and simple pleasures come about, we just sometimes don't notice. It's a very comforting thought too, that after all the hardships and troubles, victories become sweeter, no matter how small. And the sweet-small, respective and collective victories, kind of erases the slams and slaps of fate. You also learn how to value things, opportunities and people better.

2009 was a journey, and surviving it through prayers (lots of prayers!), living, loving and learning makes you smile and say, "For what it's worth, I'm alive, I am blessed. It's all good. I am Invictus. Life is what I make out of it"

I also ended up listing down more than 3 things, so yes, I'm quite a lucky girl indeed, in spite and despite of! :)

Allow me to share with you, very briefly, three of the many things I was able to list down. I am most grateful and thankful for...

1. Friends
I made a lot of new friends this year. I was also given opportunities to deepen ties and better relationships with the people around me, near and far. I am always pleasantly surprised and moved when people would go out of their way for me or my family. There were many times that friends---old and new---dropped by to show support, inspire, share happiness and love. Friends made the hardships bearable and even pleasant this 2009.

I'm an only child but I've a lot of adopted brothers/sisters in the form of friends--and they come in all shapes and sizes and age variants at that! My parents' good friends make me feel like I'm also their daughter. And I am ever so thankful and grateful for these wonderful people.

2. Family
If there is something in this world that I hold so dear to my heart right now, it is my family,They are my absolute treasure chest. It is because of them that I feel like the richest person on earth, even during the times when there's only Php20 left in my wallet.

I'm so proud to say that my family has stuck together and remained strong supporters of and for each other. There's a quote from one of my favorite Disney movies, Lilo and Stitch, that goes like this: "Ohana means family, family means no one is left behind or forgotten." And this is how we've been as far as I can remember. Even during crises, or especially during crises, everyone stands firm and strong in support for the other.

I'm particularly thankful and grateful this year because there have been a lot of tears for me, and each time I cried, my family also cried with me. They prayed with me and cheered me up. They were such a constant force of encouragement during the many times of struggles. They never fail to emphasize that no matter what, they remain my biggest supporters. So how could I not consider myself blessed when I have such a loving family?

I am also grateful that I got to know each and everyone in my family better. We're not perfect, we have our heated arguments and moments just like every other family, but this year in particular, I've come to understand where each and everyone is coming from more.

3. Tatay is alive
It has been 3 years since Tatay was diagnosed with cancer and had suffered from a stroke. And I look back and remember how delicate and fragile the situation was for him. He could've gone then, but he's still alive. And he's happily inspiring people everywhere we go. I must say that he still greatly inspires me.

This miracle is something I thank God for, year in and year out since 2006. I may come off as repetitive, but I cannot express my gratitude enough. I honestly couldn't really imagine a life without Tatay, especially during the past three years. Yes, his professional presence is no longer, but how he never fails to be the most wonderful father and friend, even in his disability.

I was kidding him this morning, I told him, "Tatay, let me tie ribbons around your face and neck, and allow me to take your picture!" And he vehemently denied this request... "No. No. No. Me man. Am not agi!" He said. Laughter ensued, but I was pesky and insisted. "Please?... See, it's not about being a boy or girl or agi," I went.
"I just want to tie ribbons around your face and neck, because... you're a present. You being alive... is one of the best presents I ever received this year."
And he gave me a very warm, tight bear hug, with the only able arm he has--his left arm. Even with just one arm around me, I felt the the completeness of his love and affection.
I hope that we may never be blinded by the material desires, never be jaded by bad experiences. Remember that if we have at least 3 things we are truly grateful and thankful for, we are one of the luckiest people alive.

We are always blessed, we just have to learn how to pause, and appreciate the things around us. May we always see hope, light, joy and love in everything big and small, and find reason  to be better amidst the sea of troubles.


In behalf of the Alojipans of Paranaque and our household, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!

Best regards,
Mitzi Alojipan

Last December 17, 2008 I was blessed with the opportunity of having a joint-exhibit with my Dad at the Ayala Museum. Tatay's paintings (pre & post stroke) as well as some of my photographs were showcased for family and friends to see.

Our exhibit, entitled, DoubleTake was fully sponsored by the amazing and generous Mascettas of Sorrell Publishing Company, New York.



On a personal note and sharing, I normally just see my photos on my computer monitor. I never imagined them printed and framed or much more exhibited in a museum. So when I first saw my photographs printed out, framed and displayed... I wanted to cry. Well, I actually teared a bit, but I had to stop myself because my make-up would smear! :P

I fondly look back and still feel that I've won the lottery because of that experience.

I still don't have official photographs of the event, however, here's the last part of my AVP presentation which was shown on the event itself.


In case you were curious you may view my online photography portfolio at http://kismetembrace.wordpress.com


- - - - -
You never really know what's in store for you. Things may seem bleak today, but you never know what that stage of bleakness will be preparing you for tomorrow. So never give up!!! ---I'm writing about this because this is what I've learned from the whole experience of the exhibit. Everything that had happened was so surreal. I mean, who would've thought that in June 2006, my dad would've survived his cancer and stroke and he and I would've had an exhibit by December 2008?

If we took our tragedies to heart and held it against life and pitied ourselves because of it, then we wouldn't have experienced the glory of life as the journey that it is, neither would we have deserved the exhibit or life's general goodness at that. We ought to keep on living, loving, sharing and surviving. Everything in the greater scheme of things will be ok.

In this new year, let's all take courage and live meaningfully one day at a time. Always pray for faith and strength. ^_^

Kung Hei Fat Choi everyone! :) Cheers to the year of the Ox!

Doesn't he make you just want to get up from your seat and dance? ;P
Tatay has surely gone a long way... This was one of his first attempts at dancing without any support in 2007. :)

During the times when I feel or think that I'm going nowhere---like the learning/progress curve has finally flattened out---I watch this video over and over again. It's nice to look back. This way I appreciate and am reminded of the progress and the miracle of recovery & opportunity that has been given by God to Tatay as well as our family.

And soon after, I feel energized, ready to "conquer" the world.

This is how, in his own, little way, Tatay is able to teach me the most important things in life. My father is amazing like that. :)


- Mitzi

Dearest Family and Friends,

Greetings of Peace for this wonderful new year of 2009! I hope all is well with you. My family is still here, alive, coping, surviving, living happily, making the best out of what life brings.

As I reflect on the year that has passed, I can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief; not because I’m happy to rid myself off 2008. It’s actually the opposite of that. I’m still very much in awe with how the year has passed—yes, it was quite a ride—not exactly the smoothest, but definitely an exciting kind of ride.

In essence, I'm grateful for everything in 2008, both the good and the bad. The bad stuff had to happen in order to "activate" the good ones—whether it's because of synchronicity, or by our utmost determination to get ourselves out of the rut—there was a purpose for everything.

Rather, there is a purpose for things.


April 2008, when Tatay turned 57! :)

- - - - -

Back in 2006, I often wondered why Tatay had to get sick: why was it him who had to have the cancer or the stroke? Why did our family have to experience such challenges? Were we a horrible family? Did we hurt other people gravely that we had to go about all these things?

I would endlessly try to rationalize; Most of the time, I fell asleep, thinking about my questions and looking for the answers, but I never found them.

Today, two and a half years after, I’ve learned to stop asking questions, and instead, take things as they are. I still don’t have the exact answers to any of my questions, but what I have is a wealth of wisdom experience and understanding. What I have with me is a revolutionized perspective and approach to the world. I think I wouldn’t have learned all of these, if I weren’t able to experience the hardships I had in the past.

Today, two and a half years after, I’ve learned to love my parents more. I thought then, that my love as a daughter was good enough—being obedient, finishing school, growing up without much mayhem etc.—but then I realized that I can never show my parents enough love. Right now, there’s an infinite fountain in my heart filled with adoration, respect and love towards my parents.

I’ve reached this stage, wherein I’ve realized that loving and giving back to one’s parents is, actually, a privilege.

Taking care of Tatay is the least I could do for all the love, kindness and support he’s given me when I was growing up. Being with Mom, becoming her friend, helping her out is also the least I could do for all the sacrifices she’s done and is doing for me.


Tatay and Me!


I wouldn’t have thought this way if I didn’t experience or understand the brevity of life: how the people you love dearly, or people in general, could just be taken away from you in an instant.

Life value emphasized greatly this 2008:
• Make the most of the present – live life to the fullest.

--Of course, this is not the same as throwing caution to the wind, and doing whatever we want to do because that is seizing the day. Instead, making the most of the present and living life to the fullest consists of finding meaning and purpose in all endeavors we take and make because life is really short and valuable.

- - - - -

2008 was a “scare-free” year in terms of Tatay’s health condition. His improvement and recovery is remarkable. Despite his current disability, he’s the same person he’s always been. His beaming personality and cheerful disposition shines through.

Tatay is a very lovable guy. You can’t, not love him: his charm and charisma are absolutely undeniable. Whenever mom and I feel down or disheartened, we go to Tatay. He gives us unconditional hugs and support. He sometimes even gives us advice or words of encouragement with his limited but growing vocabulary.


Tatay as the official court jester!

Tatay’s still very much himself and probably so much more. His personality—wit, humor, generosity, magnanimity, kindheartedness (everything you remember of him)—is still there. Sure, he may not be able to do many of the things he used to do before the stroke, but he can still touch your hearts and lives today.

Tatay continually inspires people; Mom and I definitely make him our inspiration… after all he has come along way defying the odds with his spirit, perspective and attitude.

Life values embodied by Tatay and emphasized this 2008:
• Positive attitude
• Hard work
• Determination

- - - - -

I’ve found deeper and greater respect for Mom this 2008.
It’s not that I didn’t respect her before, I always did, it’s just that this year, Mom and I became even better friends. Her spirit and dedication to life and love is really something.

There are times when I’d wonder: “What if I had a different mother?”—Obviously, I would look different and be 50% devoid of the most awesome genes! ;P

Seriously speaking though, I don’t think Tatay would be what he is (most especially post-stroke), without Mom’s love, care and devotion for and to him.

Whenever I watch Mom taking care of Tatay from afar, all I see is her selflessness as a wife, mother and person. It’s like seeing her take her wedding vows everyday, with more fervor as each day passes. I admire her courageousness, tenacity and strength.


Mom and Tatay: Tatay's first airplane ride after the stroke

Many people think that my mom unreasonably dotes on my father; I’ve heard many comments here and there with how mom is too “overprotective,” and how my dad is too “spoiled.” But I beg to disagree.

I don’t think Tatay would’ve recovered as quickly as he did without Mom’s 100% undivided attention. These days, it’s not usual to see someone completely devote oneself to another—most will multitask or go for convenience and delegate responsibilities instead. There were numerous times I’ve heard people tell my mom: “Why don’t you get a caregiver, para hindi kayo mahirapan?” --- I’m sure they meant well with their suggestions. But I must say, I’m proud of our family decision not to get a caregiver. I’m all the more proud that Mom never even thought twice about her devoting her service and care for my father. Mom never left Tatay’s side since he got sick. Even when she’s extremely fatigued or feeling pains all over her body, she’ll disregard all of whatever she feels, just so she could attend to Tatay’s every need.

I also don’t think that Tatay would like to be treated any less than how Mom takes care of him. Look at how a happy, fat but cute and contented man, Tatay is! :) Not to mention, this is how my family rolls even from the very start: 100% devoted, real, hands-on, unconditional love.

Mom’s really remarkable because it’s really tough to stand strong, manage the family and take care of someone sick with such tenacity and dedication. Because of her and how she treats my father, I really believe that true love is possible and still exists.

Mom is an angel. I don’t know how our family would be without her strength and light.


Me and Mummy Dearest in pop-art color!

Life values embodied by Mom and emphasized this 2008:
• Absolute faith in the will of God
• Unconditional love
• Acceptance
• Steadfast faithfulness
• Courage

- - - - -

“Some people come into our lives and quickly leave. Some people stay for a while and leave footprints in our hearts and we are never ever the same.” - Unknown

The reality of Tatay getting sick posed a lot of changes for everyone in the family. Lifestyle, habits, attitudes and perspectives had to change. All in all, we learned many things individually and as a family.

This whole journey has enabled us to find out who are real friends are. We’re very moved by the extent—both the little and great efforts—that many people go through in order to make life easier and better for us. These people are God-sent: their solid support and friendship just amazingly comes in at the right place and the right time.

While most of you know that our family is a very tiny unit—it’s only Tatay, Mom and myself, in a biological sense, I believe that our collective journey from sickness to recovery has broadened and extended our family.

Right now, when I talk about my immediate family, it includes Tita Zeny, Ate Anne, our house angel-Ate Roda, and our family driver-Mang Nel. It absolutely moves me to see their deep devotion, concern and love for my father as if he were their own, or even directly related to him. Without them, Mom, Tatay and I would be at a loss, but because of them, life is more complete; so much lighter and happier. Even when these times are more of a challenge for us, they are the blessings which we are constantly thankful for.


We "Alojipans' of Paranaque!" (without Mang Nel and Ate Anne--they went home) last Christmas of 2008

There are also Mom and Tatay’s siblings here and abroad to whom we are most grateful for, because they are all very supportive and sensitive towards our family’s needs and who collectively watch out for our family.

The concept of our family has also extended to the Makati Medical Center family & friends and “Constantly Group,” who’ve all been praying with and for us since day one. Their support and love has been one of those things that sustain us. Putting things lightly, we have a very active social life because of them!


Constantly Group Christmas Party 2008! ♪ All day I’m walking in a dream
I think about you constantly ♫

Seriously speaking though, each and everyone of these wonderful doctors have become somewhat my second parents, and it touches me that they don’t hesitate to be like mothers or fathers to me; or brothers and sisters to my parents.

There’s also the Ebardo family who’ve been beautiful angels with their friendship, support, protection, kindness and dependability throughout 2008. Then there are the MANGGYAN doctors and PAGTATAP family who’ve guided me and helped me make the MANGGYAN 2008 medical mission possible. There are the Mascettas of New York who brought in hope and goodwill to our family by wholeheartedly and generously sponsoring a painting and photography exhibit of Tatay and myself last December 2008.


At the Doubletake Painting and Photography Exhibit Gala last December 17, 2008

There are so many others—if I fail to mention you here, please don’t think that we’ve forgotten, we always remember and we always pray for you. There’s an absolutely long list of people who we are grateful to, and from the bottom of our hearts… Thank you very much for showing us kindness and generosity; you are the one of the beautiful reasons why we never lose faith and hope in life. You are the reasons why we know that God is always watching.

Like the quote above, you guys came into our lives, stayed for a while and we are never ever the same people again. Thank you for touching our lives in more ways than one.


Family photo taken on 25th *Surprise* Wedding Anniversary Celebration last January 15, 2008

- - - - - -

There’s a Latin quote I particularly like reciting to myself— it’s a personal mantra of sorts, and it goes something like this: Ducunt volentem fata, nolentem trahunt. What the quote means is this: Fate leads those who are willing. The unwilling it drags.

So here’s to the future…
We may not fully know it, understand it, or like it, but for whatever is in store, it’s wise to embrace it and work with it. And while we’re doing our best in living our lives, let us always remember to find joy in the simplest things and focus on the greater learning and the big picture.

From my family to yours: wishes of peace, acceptance, faith, hope, courage and perspective for 2009.

Much love,
Mitzi Alojipan
Bob & Bebot Alojipan

~ ~ ~
Click each photo to for a larger view.
From L-R:
1-The GiMiNi Annual April Day Out at Antonio's Fine Dining
2-Family Lunching at my favorite out of town get-away spot: Balai Isabel
3-Tatay & Mom posing with the doctors+friends who saved Tatay's life at Doubletake Exhibit Gala
4-Tatay & Mom posing with the beloved Pandan 'Kasimanwas' at Doubletake Exhibit Gala
5-Tatay & Me with my beloved friends at Doubletake Exhibit Gala

Since 2006, Bob, Bebot and Mitzi Alojipan, send out an e-newsletter that sums up life and learnings as it was for them on the passed year.

This newsletter which you just read, may also be accessed on the world wide web through this link: 2008. If you want to read the previous issues of their newsletter for years 2006 and 2007, kindly click on either of these links: 2006 & 2007.

* * * Starting 2009, http://alojipan.livejournal.com is the official web space of the Alojipans' of Parañaque.
Visit http://alojipan.livejournal.com regularly for updates and other e-media surprises * * *