| Snakes on a (motherfucking) Plane |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|12:05 am]
The Bad Film Society
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Over the last 100 years countless thousands of films have been made, each with its voice.Out of this Miasma of Cinema there are some films that touch the hearts of many, films that find a way into your heart so precious and small that you cannot help but hold them tightly so they'll never let go.
Snakes on a Plane is not one of those films.
Make no mistake- this is not a parody film of any particular brilliance, the marketing campaign that got attatched to this after it was such a hit with internet nerds. Aside from the extra scenes added once filming was completed at said nerds behest(which to me are quite obvious, and while entertaining aren't included all that seamlessly) SOAP is practically an irony-free zone. This is a shit film, straight up-no ice.
Since all the key elements of this film are already made obvious, there are a number of things in this besides man-on-snake action that while incredibly stupid are at least entertaining.
The film opens in a hilariously cheerful fashion, taking time to show us the quite beautiful landscape of Hawaii.We then get several minutes of a guy popping wheelies on a motorcycle while the credits run over the top.Since the rider is helmeted, most of the audience seemed to be sitting there trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
Eventually he stops and its Nathan Phillips- an actor known for being a secondary character in approximately 192 Australian productions. Then he witnesses a brutal beating and then flees on his motorcycle. A couple of hours later he's at home and the murderer turns out to be notorious asian Eddie Kim. He is so notorious in fact that every single character in the film knows exactly who he is and is very scared. However, all he is seen in the film doing is hitting people with baseball bats, working out and being shorter than all his hencemen.
So, 20 minutes of crap later and Samuel is an FBI agent assigned to protect him. And as it turns out the cops are corrupt, so they trick them into following some other plane while they get on a public flight and commandeer both the first class section and the Flight Assistant with the best cleavage. Nice work Samuel.
Like in any horror/disaster film we then get a few minutes to introduce the ensemble cast who'll be the main fodder for this evening's pleasure.If you happen miss the cinema run and catch this on dvd at a party, pause and take bets on who's going to die horribly, who'll get bitten and who'll survive- there are a few surprises.
Amongst the gaggle of cliches there are a few standout performances: David Koechner(largely of Anchorman fame, he played the sports guy) as a sleazy pilot, Julianna Marguiles as the last-day-on-the-job flight attendant and Samuels right-hand-lady, Rachel Blanchard(who played Cher in the tv show version of Clueless) as a cutesy Paris Hilton type albeit far less nauseating, Bruce James as the stereotypical campy Flight Attendant, and Terry Chen as a random superawesome-kick boxer. Extra special props go to Kenan Thompson (from the glory that was Kenan and Kel as a minder for the famous rapper Three G's, who's real name is Clarence.
The man now stands as the only guy ever to out-badass Sam Jackson in a scene. Truly hilarious stuff.
As far the actual Snakes in SOAP they are largely CGI and thus aren't very convincing, though I will admit to being caught by one or two shocks in the movie. One of the oddest things about this movie is the unusual change in tone. The initial snake-attack got a huge response from the audience as everyone laughed and groaned in the variety of gory ways the snakes attacked people; no two were quite the same and they were all at least a little bit disgusting.
However in the second major attack(after they briefly find a way to defend themselves) the attacks were no longer as funny. I'm not entirely sure why, but the film asks you to do two incompitable things- care about these hapless and injured people and take their almost certain death seriously, and laugh at the almost universally unconvincing snakes. It doesn't always work, and the second half (until the climactic landing) suffers as a result.
All in all, its a movie you'll get a few laughs out of with your mates. It's nowhere near bad enough to be a cult classic, but its entertaining in parts nonetheless. |
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