will it ever get any better?

Burning and breaking through,
Leaving a sting, shocked eyes gape
Upon a polished semblance;
She emerges benevolently.
Searching for her imperishable soul;
Ensnared and tormented by time,
The goddess weeps.

Her endless, caliginous hair bends upon
Formless and transparent lips
Behind the glow of a piercing green gaze.
The sempiternal one.
A figure fractured by interminableness,
Arms elongated, wrapped in velvet skin
Delicate hands realize a vacuous air.
Heart faintly beating for her essence,
She exhales; grieving.

Quivering; flames slowly entrap her,
Silence releases her celestial shadow.
Radiance cascades.
Colliding into her ceaseless parallel,
She exposes unending resplendence.
This exquisite fascination;
Gleaming, waltzing with an angel.
Eyes gracious, lips scintillating,
She becomes sustained;
A reposeful intoxication.

i wonder if anyone will actually join this community. i figure, there must be so many people whose lives suck so why not share here. i actually give a shit and like to help people, although i know i am already beyond that. i do have a myspace, if anyone would like to see it: gothefuckaway - it's pretty basic. a bunch of fake friends and people i knew in high school on there. -sigh-
i don't think i have one real friend on that site, other than alex and robyn. those, laura included are my best friends. however, laura and i are a bit on outs at the moment. i got kicked out of her wedding for the 2nd time. what the fuck, how do you ask someone to do you an honor and then take it back twice? i understand the first time. i was detoxing and i wouldn't have wanted me there either. but the second time is hard to swallow. i'm just simply not wanted. i'm not cheery and enthusiastic enough for laura and her mom. whatever.
anyways.
let's see what happens.
i'm sure i'll post all the time just for fun so 1,2,3 go.

End.


Barreling down into her distorted dissention
Eyes shut, mouth sewn and nostrils plugged
The screams get louder as she tumbles through.
Mangled and content, her eyes open to cast upon
His deformed figure and their writhing faces.
Bathing amongst their iniquitous souls
She inhales the shrieking sounds of nefarious wonder
And exhales.

Coal-shaded bodies enrapture her.
Trembling, weak… inquisiturient
A touch, this massacre consumes her mind.
Disfigured angels dancing with distorted devils
Faces painted with the sting of damned eyes
Motionless, she is inviolable and unlovable.
Hungry for this whimsical cessation
She moves.

Walking toward the corrupt nothingness
Of every thing she’s ever known
She ejects her defective and impotent heart
Surrendering to the resonance of the expired.
Hollow and frail; no longer pumping life
This fucking fantastic façade is no longer
Her existence.

i'm lori. i get high on benadryl and cough syrup. i'll be a pot head until the day i die, no matter who i have to hide it from. i suffer from severe clinical depression and am prescribed to about 7 different drugs right now. they've made me gain weight. but all i do is sit around the house and try to be fucked up so the day will just go by. i just turned 26, yet i feel no more than 17. i love to write and explore language. i like to read about the lives of others. i want a puppy but my boyfriend just got fired. and instead of getting up and looking for a job today, he slept til noon and sat on his ass the rest of the day. =/ i have thoughts of just wanting to be on my own. but i can't. while i'm waiting for social security, i can't work and i'm really not in much of a state of mind to. and now the motherfucker's bitching at me about whether or not we have any chips left. like i would know, i don't leave my room. fuck.