Cupressus macrocarpa

This was an okay year for books. I read many more books than in the past few years, and got a lot of enjoyment out of it. I read more fiction than in past years and I seem to have gotten a bit of appetite back for genre fiction, which pleases me. This list is based on notes from throughout the year, and I'm going to add a bit of commentary where I want, but I'm not going to go through and systematically star everything. The books are listed chronologically in the order I read them.

I did read quite a bit of other work this year including long-form print and online journalism, of which is there some spectacular examples being produced. The one that stood out most for me was this series on Texas Groundwater: http://www.ourdesiredfuture.com.

I used the library this year for nearly everything I read, with the exception of eBooks, which I purchased and read on my iPhone. I'm looking forward to 2016's booklist, and have four books currently in progress and several waiting on my library queue. It feels great to read!

Fiction
Deception Cove - Jayne Castle (moderately cheezy)
The Hot Zone - Jayne Castle (same series, slightly cheezier)
Crystal Flame - Jayne Ann Krentz (Sci-Fi romanance in the bodice ripper tradition...sooooo cheezy)
Sweet Starfire - Jayne Ann Krentz (same series, OMG EVEN CHEEZIER)
Welcome to Temptation - Jennifer Crusie
The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate - Ted Chiang (4 stars)
Twilight - Stephanie Meyers (2 stars. Boring!)
50 Shades of Grey - EL James (full disclosure: I stopped halfway through because I was so bored! LOL.)
Fast Women - Jennifer Crusie
Maybe This Time - Jennifer Crusie
Crazy for You - Jennifer Crusie (Jennifer Cruise is my favorite romance writer of all time, hands down. Her books are hilarious, and the characters charming.)
At The Mouth of the River of Bees - Kij Johnson (short stories. 5 stars - best fiction book this year)
Interesting Times - Terry Pratchett
The Perilous Life of Jade Yeo - Zen Cho (novella. solidly charming, only available in ebook)

Non-Fiction
The Spirit of Gongshi: Chinese Scholar's Rocks - Kemmin Hu
Intimacy and Desire - Dr. David Schnarch (5 stars)
The Language of Fertility - Niravi Payne
Just Mercy - Bryan Stephenson (5 stars-best non-fiction book this year)
The Web with No Weaver - Ted Kaptchuk (4 stars)
Between Heaven and Earth: A Guide to Chinese Medicine - Harriet Beinfield and Efram Korngold (4.5 stars)
Family Healing - Salvador Minuchin (3.5 stars, extremely thought provoking)
Wild Feminine - Tami Lynn Kent (4 stars. Purchased. This book needs many read-throughs)
One Zero Charlie - Lawrence Gonzales
Women Who Run With the Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph.D. (5 stars, deserves its own post. Best non-fiction book to keep on one's altar.)
52 Things You Should Know About Geophysics - Matt Hall and Evan Bianco (3 stars? Not at all what I was expecting, I think I need to pass this book on. It was a purchase.)

Erotica (all books are ebooks)
Coming Together presents Remittance Girl (4.5 stars - best of the year)
Beautiful Losers - Remittance Girl (4 stars)
The Mage's Toy - MeiLin Miranda (3 stars)
Best Women's Erotica 2015 - Violet Blue (3 stars)
Best Women's Erotica 2014 - Violet Blue (3.5 stars)
Best Women's Erotica 2013 - Violet Blue (4 stars)

A rare public post!

I have one ticket available to the Robert Rich show in Marshfield, MA on Tuesday, April 14th. The show is at 7:30 pm, doors at 7:00 pm. There is no opener. This is a small ambient concert in a old church, and will probably have only about 50-70 people in attendance. A rare chance to see Robert Rich live on the East Coast.

Ticket is $15, will call at the door, cash only. You'll have to meet me there, as it's under my name.

This job came across my twitter feed today:

http://www.kgs.ku.edu/General/jobs/J00008422.html

This is the kind of job I want. I don't want to be trapped in the world of billable hours and keeping clients happy. I am happiest when I am teaching and free to learn as much as possible at the same time. I think a lot about my work, as it takes up just so damn much of my time and intellectual energy. I resent my work, as it keeps me from having brain left over to think about the kind of geological and cultural issues I so love to think about. The sciences and the humanities overlap and braid together, and I take umbrage at the way so many scientists raise a great noise about how their science is uncontaminated by the biases and emotions of the humanities.

I alternate between laughing and crying. The world is full of so much forced, artificial duality that I cannot see creating more. Like most of humankind's foibles, this tendency springs from ego. The answer to reining in ego is not more rules, restrictions, and divisions, but rather more heart. My calling, my profession, lies at the intersection of science and heart.

More to come on this, as I think about it nearly every day. But today I feel the need for whole-hearted work keenly, reminded that I struggle with how to bring that to work in an industry that feels fundamentally barren of compassion and collaboration.

LJ braintrust: I have a dear friend moving to the Boston area this summer, with hopes to settle in the Medford/Malden/Woburn area. He's an experienced engineer in the medical devices field (mostly stents) and is looking for work. I know there are jobs out there, but it's not my field. Do any of you know of companies that are hiring, or have a friend/colleage/etc at a company who would be willing to chat with him? I can't give a profession recommendation but I am happy to give a character recommendation.

Contact me directly through comments and we can either go to email or I can give you his contact information directly.

Thank you!

I had a strange night of sleep last night. We had a 5:30 am thunderstorm, which was quite loud and close! I was too tired to even open my eyes or stir from bed, but watched the lightning through my closed lids and listened to the rain and thunder. It was comforting and felt like home. I missed storms when I was in the west.

The other disruption to my sleep was a most intense and disturbing dream around 6:30 am. It would make for a good setting for some kind of horror film or dystopia.

It was set in a small town in Idaho (a callback to 1-Across in Sunday's NYT puzzle?) and part of the town looked bombed out, whole facades ripped off of buildings and wires and fixtures hanging out the front. I went to a video store to rent a video and stood in front of a big screen TV watching an informational video verging on propaganda about a high school in town that was cooking all its own food, against government regulations. The principal, who was a bearded bearish guy, went on and on about the quality of the food, and how they were leading a revolution in health, but the grainy video showed vast rows of fryolators and vats producing breaded deep-fried tofu. I was disgusted.

Then I encountered, in the front of the store, two people who were acting strangely - sort of like zombies and sort of like they were possessed or had some kind of X-Files parasite. One of them was kind of lurching around inside their oversized suit jacket - kind of moving around underneath the cloth? Almost flinging themselves around against the racks of videos. Appalled and worried, I managed to get the other afflicted person to gasp out what was happening. Some plague or disease was at work where all the elemental fluids in living things (and maybe non-living things?) were drawn to themselves, and would come out of whatever objects and tissues they were in. So basically the water in these people's bodies was trying to violently coalesce. I had a moment of relief that I was unafflicted but then I felt a twisting pain in my chest.

I ran outside and leaned over, bracing myself against a broken and half shattered concrete column. I coughed and coughed and coughed and eventually a horrible metallic blob started to ooze out of my throat, and I reached up to pull it away from my lips and thought, "Oh my God, it's all my elemental cadmium. What's next?!" I knew I was going to die a gruesome and painful death, purging my body of one element at a time. Frantic, I started to come out of the dream, and had one brief moment of lucidity where I told myself firmly, "Erika, YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP."

And I did, clawing my way to consciousness, still mostly asleep, and kept myself half-awake long enough for the shocky adrenaline of the dream to fade.

I have no idea what the dream means (if anything) but wow, was it freaky.

I'm a day late...I blame thesis...and boys...

Ahem. ANYWAY.

Happy Birthday weegoddess!! She of the ruffles and pleats and eco-conscious sartorial confections! I hope today brings you a hot Lush-ly bath, creative time with your work, and warm time with a loved one.

This is a rare public post, because it's that important that you all know what I am undertaking right now.

I am sitting at the dining room table at my parents' place on Cape Cod. Spread out before me are somewhere between twenty and thirty journal articles that I need to skim and digest into a data table before Monday.

And this is just the beginning. However, it's the beginning of the end.

I am going to be defending in April. Application for graduation is due in mid-February and I have two sections due to my committee on February 4th and 10th. If those sections are drafted by then, I will have enough done to ensure a full draft by the end of March. I am feeling, finally, motivated. There are a LOT of other things waiting for me on the other side of graduation, and I'm finally ready to seize those opportunities.

The challenge is that I am also working full time 40 hours a week, 45 minutes from my house.

I have mapped out January's schedule and it looks something like this: 40 hours of work a week, 7.5 hours of commute a week, and somewhere around 35 hours of thesis work a week, divided between weeknights after work and weekends. I get one weekend evening off a week, either Friday or Saturday, but not both. I've scheduled in time for Zumba and going to the gym, and grocery shopping will happen on Fridays on the way home from work. It's crunch month, to absolutely ensure that I get the two sections drafted by February. I don't know what February will look like, but I am going to plan that month's schedule when I evaluate my progress at the end of January. I suspect, however, that February and March will look very much like January. April will be a mad dash to put figure together for my talk and write my talk, as well as preparing for my trip to California to defend.

What does this mean for you, my friends and loved ones?

1) I cannot commit to any plans that require me to be there no matter what. I will probably have to make plans and then break them, or just not make plans at all.

2) I will turn down 90% of all social invitations. That DOES NOT mean don't invite me! It just means I will be flattered, and send you a nice note, and then decline the invitation. It's only until May...then I can come to your party.

3) I cannot take on standing obligations to others right now. From now until the end of May, I am the number one priority person in my life. This is what I need your understanding on the most. I know that I am normally highly reliable, dependable, and on time. I am the person who helps in a pinch and fills in when needed. I LOVE being that person. But until mid-May, I cannot be that person for anyone but myself. I am married to my work (both kinds) until then. I have NOT forgotten you, any of you, and any flakiness, absent-mindedness, or rudeness I might accidentally display is ACCIDENTAL. I apologize in advance, and beg your compassion.

4) If you see me, or we hang out, DO NOT ASK ME HOW THE THESIS IS GOING. Please ask me about my job, or my house, or my family, or ANYTHING BUT MY THESIS. I will be using my few social hours each week to decompress and relax.

5) On the weekends, I will be trying to work out of the house, either at a coffee shop or at the Tufts Library, which is a public facility because it's a government repository. Quiet, encouraging, working company is welcome! Do you want to have a weekend work party at your house because you have a project to finish or your own work to do? Great! I'll come over, we'll both put headphones or some music on, and work. Bonus if you're a grad student too.

6) If you see me, or we hang out, I would love hugs. LOVE THEM. I'm not dating right now and I don't have a housemate (by choice). I don't get much day to day physical contact with other humans. I miss it and I need it.

I think that's it for now...soon this will all be over and then there will be some sort of RIDICULOUS graduation party that will possibly involve fire and ritual and there will most definitely be a cake and I shall be wearing a god damn ball gown and possibly my regalia if they let me buy it.

Thank you all in advance for your support all along, and most of all as we're in this last stretch.

Reports and/or rants as events warrant!

<3
BPC

Happy National Coming Out Day! I have been out to my parents as bisexual since I was sixteen, and feel incredibly lucky that my family has been accepting since the beginning. If sometimes they've come to me with questions or comments that were slightly uncomfortable to answer, that is okay. I value my relationship with my family even more because of the ability we have to engage in dialogue about who we actually are. I hope that today each of you can find some measure of peace, happiness, and self-acceptance, no matter what closets you may be in or out of. I accept you for who you are!

I was reflecting today on a research experience I had as an undergrad at Tufts. I was taking Professor Gardulski's Sedimentology class, and we had to design our own final project. I chose to do a pebble sample from multiple points along a stream in Elmira, near where my parents live. The idea was that the more headwaters would have the smallest and most jagged pebbles, and the further downstream I examined, the larger and more rounded the rocks would be. My experimental setup was to collect the pebbles from the deepest part of the stream at each spot (where the highest-energy flow is) and then to measure pebble size and shape, determine lithology (rock type), and classify the pebbles according to those parameters. After two days in knee-high spring snowmelt, I had all my samples. I spent several long nights of my spring break sitting next to the sink in my parents' kitchen, sorting and classifying pebbles.

Weeks later, after more analysis and lots of writing, I presented my work to the class. I was pretty proud of the project, having thought it up completely myself, and done all the fieldwork and analysis. However, when it came time for questions, Professor Gardulski had one for me. "I see you have classified the vast majority of your clasts (individual pebbles) as sandstone, siltstone, or mudstone. The upstate New York area has a lot of limestone, were none of your clasts limestone?"

It was a valid question, asked gently, and I was flabbergasted. I couldn't believe I had overlooked this very obvious aspect of the geology. All it would have taken to answer her question was to have performed the simple test of dropping one drop of dilute HCl on each clast, and recording if it fizzed. Fizz means limestone (or calcite cement), no fizz means no limestone. However, my pebbles were now in an untidy heap in my parents' backyard, and the data was written up.

I cannot remember now how I answered her question, but whatever I stammered out, she let go without much comment. She wasn't interested in crucifying me in front of my classmates. She merely wanted me to see that in my eagerness about my project, I'd failed to take into account an simple yet fundamental aspect of the project. I hadn't looked at the local geologic map before classifying - I merely dove into it, assuming I knew what I was doing.

At the time, I was terribly embarrassed, but now I am merely sheepish. I am immensely grateful to Professor Gardulski for her kind correcting and always excellent teaching. She is a good geologist and a talented teacher, and I learned much from her, most of which I didn't realize until later. As scientists, professionals, teachers, everything, we are shaped by the people we learn from. I am so glad to have benefited from many skilled folks along my way to where I am today.

Brain trust...

I haven't been to high holiday services in about...fifteen years. *shameface* I don't even remember what to do or sing (did I ever know?). Nonetheless, this year I find myself wanting to attend both Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur services.

Where, in the greater Boston area, would be a good place for a lapsed Jew to go and get her holiday on? Preference given to reform shuls but on the more conservative side would be okay as long as I could figure it out as I go along and wouldn't be too unwelcome in my ignorance.

I appreciate your help!!!