Blue Satellite

I promised myself I wouldn’t type up an entry until I finished drafting Part III of FIC 1 so that’s what I’ve done. I only drafted the first chunk of Part III though, because apparently it’s going to turn out longer than I expected. You think you've come to a mutual agreement that both parties are satisfied with then your fic turns round and stabs you in the back. How rude. I always want to be done with my stories quickly, which is funny as I’m naturally a very, very slow writer. Donna Tartt 10 year slow (Ha! Without the crazy amount of talent, mind you.)

Hello to everyone on Dreamwidth! Hello to the Drarry fandom! I’ve no idea how to navigate this journal but here’s hoping for learning as I go. I know this isn’t really the ‘poppin’ place these days, but it’s where I’ve ended up. The relative quietness is actually one of the reasons I’m on here - Tumblr’s speed and largeness frightens me more than a bit. Journals make it comfortable for me to get personal! (Not that personal, don’t worry. Just a little bit.)

Anyway, it’s weird that I’m setting up an account now when I’m actively trying to distance myself from Drarry. It’s not that I hate the fics I'm coming across or anything like that, quite on the contrary in fact. They’re the only pairing I was actively reading fanfiction of before, excluding some Mo Dao Zu Shi I was having on the side. Not surprising to me that I started having problems; thinking constantly about plotlines I absolutely had get down or else, obsessively checking other people’s accounts then feeling terrible when I couldn’t write my own stories faster. Fretting and fretting and one day after all that fretting I logically declared a break for myself (Lol. Then illogically deleted my Ao3 so that I wouldn’t be tempted to read anything. This is now the only fandom presence I own.)

It’s a habit. I’ll like something a lot, become obsessive over this thing that I like, then tired of my own obsessiveness. In the end, I'll usually put huge distance between it and me.

Not reading doesn't mean that I still don't want to write fics. I had approximately three I was working on before I deleted my account (one I posted as a WIP that I never went back to after Chapter 2. The rest just sitting in my Docs). I feel I can create better if I quiet my thoughts and stop comparing my stories to others. Also gettinge rid of the Perfectionist Parrot that lives in my head would be a great help. It isn’t like everything I'm working on is going to be that long either. FIC 1 and FIC 2 are heading for 10k words, and FIC 3 for 4k. So that’s 24k words in total I want to get written by the end of the year. Uni will eat up a chunk of my time when I resume in October but I think I can manage it. I’ve promised myself that I'll only set up another Ao3 account when I'm done with all three. Let’s hope I’m through by December; I don’t want to miss Erised.

What else do I want to do?

I want to re-read Harry Potter. The last (and only) time I touched the novels was 2017. I'd like to get back to the series again in September or whenever I find The Time. Characterization in my fics are mostly fanon based so source material could help in later edits/rewrites.

Anything else, then? I think not. I’m not sure whether I’ll update this journal regularly, but I’ll certainly come back to write progress reports on everything I’ve mentioned. Maybe life, books, movies... I’m in a Miyazaki rabbit-hole presently. I think I'll be constructing essays, soon.

Nice to meet you,
K.