All the seeds that I've planted so to speak are now starting to bloom.  What do I mean by this? I've been working on trying to get a full-time teaching gig for years (I started as an adjunct in 2005), and now a lot is really happening. I just got an interview for a full-time position, and I feel I did exceptionally well, despite my nerves. I went  above and beyond in my presentation because I knew the competition was fierce. I work with one of the other adjuncts that is also up for the job, and she has a rock'en resume.
     For the teaching demonstration, the school gave everyone an essay, Jose Antonio Burciaga's "Tortillas," and after doing some research, I discovered Burciaga was a muralist. Low and behold, his murals are at Standford University in Casa Zapata, a Chicano/a themed dining hall.  So what did I do? I found a way to get into that dining hall, took digital picts of the mural, went to Office Max to get the best one blown up onto a board, and I used it in conjunction with another teaching tool. The visuals of the mural were spectacular! I felt like I tied everything in really well. I know they were impressed by the visuals because after my demonstration time was up, they kept asking me questions about how I got the visuals and how I got them copied so professionally.  Also, I interacted a lot with the pseudo students (the committee) and the interaction flowed well. I just could tell that they had fun and that I nailed it. 
    So with one badass interview and presentation down, what's next? The next step, if I'm chosen, is to meet with the president of the college.  I hear the interviewee just chats it up with the president and that there's really no way to prepare for this part. I'm going to read the current mission statement for our school and just make sure I look professional to the T. 
   I think I 'm actually going to get into the final round, down to three from 150, because last time, when I didn't get to the second round, they didn't have me sign so that they could connect with my references. This time they had me sign an official form a week after I interviewed.  I know I'm going to have great references, so I'm pretty sure I'll make it to the last round. I also know that the dean really wants me to get the job; this is beyond an immense help and confidence booster. 
     So far it's been two weeks total since my interview, but I've been emailing the dean back and forth at her request for paperwork etc...
The dean said the process is slow, and  the president has  a good part of the summer to get people hired. 
    So in the meantime, I haven't really been sleeping that well. I usually have no problem with getting to sleep and staying asleep. I guess I just realize how much this will actually change my life.  I also don't like the uncertainty because it could go either way. To put it bluntly, the waiting game sucks!
    Also, I have applied to part-time jobs just in case I don't get the big one. So, I have another interview for part-time this coming Monday. I don't feel that enthusiastic about doing another interview and presentation, but I know I need this adjunct job if the full-time gig doesn't work out. So, there is a lot going on. I know I just need to relax, be patient, and let fate do its bidding.
    Although I really enjoy progressing as well as the change that comes with it, the time leading up to change, can be a little unsettling.
  

 
        I want to travel.  I want to travel everywhere from up and down the coast of my own state, California, to the rice paddies of Vietnam; the beaches of Thailand; and the rain-forests of Costa Rica. This has been my goal at least since high school.  I've been fortunate to travel ever since I was a child with both of my parents (separately).  My mom took me to England (twice) and France when I was either in middle school or elementary. My dad took me and the family to Greece when I was a sophomore in high school and on cruises (twice) to the Caribbean, once when I was in middle school and the other time when I was in college.  I also went on a dive trip in the Caribbean (Cayman Brac) with my dad and the family, as well as my significant other when I was in college.  I've been to Hawaii with my dad since I was little and, more recently, on my honeymoon. I have also been on one trip with my husband's family to Canada. Writing this, I realize how much I have actually traveled and how fortunate I was in my pre-married years to get to travel with my family. I'm truly grateful for these eye-opening experiences.
        I've taken one international trip - to Italy- without my family or even my significant other (I randomly went with his mom).  Going to Italy on my own dime and navigating through a new adventure, without familiar leaders like my husband and my family, was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. It gave me immense satisfaction and a feeling of self-esteem.
      It's been two years since I have traveled outside of the state, not including trips to Idaho to visit my family.  The last trip I went on was to Kauai and the Big Island after my marriage on May 26,2007.
       The travel bug is starting to bite. I'm looking forward to going on the small trips my husband and I have planned - to Mendocino, Ca,  for Spring Break. But, I don't think the travel bite is going to subside until I go out of the country. There is something so thrilling about getting out of your comfort zone, relying on your abilities to explore new areas and cultures, and connecting to new people and places, despite language barriers.
   So why don't I just pack up and go then? I don't have kids, except for my cat, Trooper, and the neighbors have been willing to cat-sit. I have a lot of breaks here and there because I'm on the academic calendar.
     The primary setback is cash flow. We have enough to live on and a small bit set aside. But neither one of our careers are big money makers right now, and we're never quite sure how the economy is going to affect our jobs in the future.
   In addition to this, I owe my mother-in-law some money, which I have been slowly paying her back for over a year now. She helped me get rid of credit card debt that I accrued while in graduate school.  This was very generous of her. Also, she has been nice about not demanding the money back right away, since she knows we're making less than we were a year ago.
  Here's where the dilemma comes in. My thirtieth birthday is coming up, and I have always dreamed of meeting some travel goals before I hit thirty. I'd love to go to Costa Rica with my husband for my thirtieth and with a little penny pinching and planning, we could probably afford it. But, I owe my mother-in-law more money than what the trip would cost. 
     I would really like to just go because I feel it's a once in a lifetime dream. I also, however, feel selfish and irresponsible because I should pay her back first. She doesn't seem to need the money right now, but it's a matter of principle. And she might actually need the money but I"m not sure. I guess I could ask her. Except she would instantly want to be part of the trip - not part of my plan. As much as I love her, her coming along would change the entire dynamic. That's not the kind of trip I'm willing to spend money to go on right now.
  I guess I could write her a few smaller checks here and there and still go on the trip. My husband and I need to take a look at our budget and see if we could swing this middle ground idea. Maybe we could do both:Pay her back a chunk and go. This way, I won't feel like I'm completely being irresponsible. My husband's work is also picking up. Hopefully, I'll get the classes I need this summer. Summer is, however, a slower time in my field. 
  So, I should check our financial standing right now, see how much it would actually cost to go to Costa Rica on a budget, and figure out how much I could pay her back. I'm going to really try to do both. But if international travel is not in my cards this summer, I can make it happen maybe by winter break of next year. I have some money making goals for the fall that I'm pretty sure, with effort, that I can meet. So many goals, so little time. I do have to say, at least I'm close.
  It's so funny because I feel like I'm close to a lot of my big goals that I have been working on throughout my twenties, but I'm not quite there yet. I think in the first part of my thirties a lot of big moments are going to happen for my husband and for me. I'm especially looking forward to the travel. Bon Voyage!


 

 

  

 

 

 

   At some point in the next handful of weeks or so, I'm going to have an interview for a full-time position at the college where I work now as a part-timer. I applied for this same position two years ago and was not chosen as one of the top three, who later become "the one."   This full-time position has been a life goal of mine since I started my undergraduate education - over a decade ago.  I question whether or not I could truly handle the workload and still enjoy my life. I know I would enjoy the increased paycheck, and it would make a lot of my other dreams - travel to Vietnam or Thailand, have a child, own a house- come true.
    I am confident that I am a good teacher, that I know my stuff, and that I can connect to the city college students who I work with. I feel good about what I do. I almost always enjoy what I'm doing. I want to get this job, and ,at the same time, I'm a bit scared I might get it, which would be wonderful in an intense way. The dean even mentioned that she's rooting for me. So, I need to start rooting for myself. I have to remember that I have nothing to lose, really.  I love being an adjunct, and I have already decided that if  I don't get this job I'll just pile up more classes to make those dreams happen anyway -
    Here's what I'm going to do to prepare:  
                             I need to:           
   1.  create a visual handout for the ten minute teaching demonstration, showing how the lesson would develop if I had more time.

   2.  decide how I'm going to change the demonstration based on which class I'm given (92 or 1A).

   3.  continue to work on interesting discussion questions and points I will make.

   4.  get a portable CD player (I don't want to risk any technical difficulties)

   5.  splice the song I'm going to use so that it doesn't take up too much time

   6. make sure I have made the best choice in terms of the topic I'm going to cover

   7. practice the demonstration (maybe have my other classes be an audience?)

   8.  come up with responses for interview questions
 
   9.  continue to read about higher education, theories, and practices

   10.  try and see this as an exciting challenge, a chapter in my book on instruction

I'm going to start working on this, this coming Saturday (since I'm busy Th and Fri). When I'm more prepared, I know I'll feel better about this. You know what, I'm not going to let the committee of ten intimidate me because I'm not any less of an instructor than anyone else, I love my students, and I deserve this job as much as the rest do! And if I don't get it, so what. I still have a career  I love and a full life.

 

                         

     Over the weekend, my husband and I hung out with some mutual friends at their house, and we ended up watching the movie Blazing Saddles, a Western spoof, produced in 1974 by Mel Brooks.  I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about the movie, how I should feel, and whether or not it's an outrage or a "classic comedy," as it was called by one of my friends at the weekend gathering.
    If you haven't seen the movie, it's set in the Southwest, during the pioneer days, and a evil kenivel  politician (Hedley Lamarr) is trying to get more land by turning a small western town against itself. In the very beginning, it starts off with racist jokes, spoofs on stereotypes, and slap stick humor.  At one point, two black men are working on a railroad and they start to sink in quicksand. The white railroad bosses start to panic and throw a rope into the quicksand; except instead of saving the black men, they save the equipment that the black men were using to work on the railroad. Yes, it's funny because it's so ridiculous that the white men in the movie would care more about material goods than people. And yes, this is part of history - and a disturbing part- one that Mel Brooks finds a way to make funny. 
  I guess what I'm realizing is that Brooks found a way to make something that's not funny- racism- funny. And this is disturbing and comical at the same time. I think it's important that our culture can laugh at itself and  realize its own prejudice. I guess this is what Brooks gets us to look at - a history of racism.  He does it in a way that we recognize our own stupidity, and we don't even know that we're acknowledging our stupidity by laughing at ourselves. It's kind of like the end of the movie where you find out the Old West and all of its characters were really just a part of a movie set in Hollywood.  So there is a movie being made within a movie, a double or triple layer. There is a layer of serious reality,the US slave history and racist people who believe stereotypes; then the comedy that Brooks makes about that history, the movie; then how we are laughing at our own idiocy because it's funny, and by doing this we acknowledge the seriousness behind it. Maybe this is a way to get people thinking about racism without being so serious. A lot of people don't want to face serious issues so perhaps this is like when you trick your pet by putting his medicine inside his favorite treat. We do learn something when we are confronted with this abrupt type of humor.
       Of course if you're not buying my whole layer theory, then the sheriff, the protagonist, a black man, is the saving grace of the movie.  We clearly identify with him, and he seems to be the only intelligent, ingenious, brave, honorable person in the flick - unless you want to count his sidekick (who is played by Gene Wilder).  This sheriff wins the day, saves a town, and the bad guys don't get away with their plan. He is the hero.
   It's hard to believe that a movie that uses the "N word"  right and left could be considered a comedy classic,but reflecting back, I actually think it did its job and got its viewers thinking about race and its history. I believe words have power and history behind them, and so we must be careful when and how we use certain words that embody so much.  Despite all of this seriousness, I found myself laughing at the over-the-top ridiculous, slap stick of a movie that got me questioning: should humor have boundaries?

       So, spring break has come again- a few weeks away. Since I'm an English instructor, I usually get the benefits of spring break (one of the many benefits to being an instructor). The conundrum is, okay it's not that big of a problem, that my husband and I are not able or willing to spend more than a maximum of five hundred dollars  to get out of town. I figure this will limit us to either our local Bay Area or to California in general. I also think that we'll have to go for maybe a weekend to cut down on accommodation costs.
        My absolute necessities are sun, relaxation, nature, little hassle, a shower, and a clean bathroom.  (Did I mention that I'm leaving the paper pile at home?) My husband only wants one thing: a river. So we're hoping to find a sunny place with a river where we can do day hikes but also somewhere where we can cozy up at night in a clean bed and breakfast, cabin, or vacation home with nice ambiance.
      I started off fantasizing about the two of us catching a plane to Malibu, Ca. to lie on the warm beach, toes in the sand. Then I read reviews on tripadvisor about the Malibu Motel.  Although it is right next to the beach, a review mentioned it was way too noisy and packed with spring break college kids- the last thing I want to deal with. Also, my husband wasn't into it. I think he's afraid my mother will come to the beach or something - she lives in Laguna, a short distance away. Also, he reminded me that a beach isn't a river, which is his only requirement. (They weren't joking when they said marriage was a compromise.)
    So, my new ideas are maybe to hang out by the Russian River, more towards Napa, in a little vacation rental.  I don't know what the town is like there or if we can do any wine tasting etc...? I'm also not sure where to stay, although I've done a little online research. So if anybody knows where to relax for the weekend by a river in California with a comforting place to sleep nearby (this time around I'm not feeling like camping) for a total of 500 dollars , let me know. I'm just happy that I do get a vacation.  We adjuncts work a lot and grade tons, but there is a lot of freedom and a healthy amount of vacation days.  Getting "paid" with time in my opinion is not a bad deal.