Your heart is broken but it will heal.

Even the best of us get caught up in it: the failed relationship and how it was all or fault or their fault and how you're never going to get over it ever. Your brain is a hamster wheel that refuses to stop spinning, tumbling over everything that you ever did or said or felt. People say things to you and you scoff at them until one day someday something they have said becomes true. YOU DO GET OVER IT. Mostly. Kind of.

It is said that every relationship's end leaves the people in it taking half the length of the relationship to get over it. This won't be true for everyone. Some people: the blithe, the carefree, the shallow and the clueless will not even notice even their own heartache. They'll keep going on without examining constructively what contributed to their relationship's end. We're all clueless in some way when relationships end. You cry, curse, rage, roil and ferment. At some point you'll realize that you have to move on. But how? How do you get past your anger and hurt?

For you, and for ourselves, we offer Exanon. It is our own take of the 12 step program. We cannot help ourselves. We must confess and get it off of our minds in an anonymous way.

"My name is _________ and I have loved."

The 12 Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over our ex - that our shared life had become unmanageable
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We call this return to sanity Break-up.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Break-up as we understood Break-up. We must tenderly nuture and explore Break-up in all of its intricacies until it bores even us.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to Break-up, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs, often during long rambling calls at all hours with patient friends.
6. Were entirely ready to have Break-up remove all these defects of character. In fact, we think Break-up may remove all aspects of our character for a long, long time. When we get our character back, there might be new aspects of character forged under adversity and pretty damn strong as a unsuspected benefit.
7. Humbly asked Break-up to remove our shortcomings. Break-up knows our shortcomings. They’ve been listed in detail, exhaustively and our brain keeps going over them.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. This may involve multiple efforts to contact other members of Break-up(s). Please tread carefully.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others, even though those people really are the ones we want to hurt most.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Eventually. When the fog of Break-Up has lifted and we finally see possibilities and hope again.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Break-up as we understood Break-up praying only for knowledge of Break-Up’s will for us and the power to carry that out
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other exes, and to practice these principles in all our affairs in the hope that we will never need ExAnon again.

You can bitch about your ex here but try do it with a purpose. Say they're a rat bastard who cheated with a multitude of women and you found out out about it when he married someone else less than 2 months after the break-up and you saw their wedding announcement in the NY Times. Oh wait. That's my story.

Best thing that ever happened to me. Now. It takes time. You'll get past your own pain and get to that place where you learn from what they did to you. You can choose to be miserable and let it fester or you can get past it.

Get it out to get on with your life, to get over him or her. You can do it anonymously or give us your name.