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[04 Nov 2007|05:12pm] |
Maybe this is the first time since i got arrested.
I feel so fucked up sometimes. Overworked, underpaid, same old shit.
A lot of times i just feel like yelling. And when no one is home, sometimes i just do. I scream and yell and usually it makes me feel better. I feel like a shitty friend sometimes because i know my friends are going through shit, death, illness, etc. and i feel like i am not there for anyone. Never. I can listen, but i dont have a thing to say. I just feel sad, for them, and for me because i dont know what to say. I think that i am really selfish. If not selfish, self-involved. Is that the same thing? I am too wrapped up and when i have to work, how i am going to sleep, where my money is comming from, how much my mother must cry, if girls actually find me even the least bit interesting, how disgusted i am with politics and the world, and how the only thing that would make me feel better is a nice fat joint. It all piles on top of each other and i cant think. So i just yell.
I still love everything, and i am almost fully settled here i think.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS PLAY MUSIC AGAIN
my life is incomplete.
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| NEWS FLASH! |
[22 Jun 2007|12:20am] |
I'm about as hammed up as ya fucking grandfather on St Patricks day.
Ma dukes is gone for four days or something,. Its goood because i have needed time ot relax real fuggin bad, I ghuess i am def loosing my license for a year. whatever. i meet with my lawyer tomorrow and we'll decide a course of action andshit.
Shits fucked up for real. I am fucked up for real.
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[11 Jun 2007|04:26pm] |
Okay so my phone is shut off now. If anyone called and that assbag cop picked up and questioned you, i am so sorry. If that cop ever pulls me over again, i won't be leaving in handcuffs and i will tell him exactly what i think of his weak intimidation tactics.
I talked to a lawyer this morning and obviously its going to be expensive but i guess theres a chance i can get this off my record and get distribution dropped and whatnot.
I'm spending this week by myself for the most part. Straightening out my shit.
I am packing up alot of my shit and throwing a lot more away.
I lost a lot of weight. Maybe i only weigh 145. I quit smoking ciggz.
I graduated high school. I am working almost fifty hours a week.
This summer is going to kill me, but september is a new beginning.
I miss all my friends tonz and i can't wait to see everyone.
Emily, sorry i wont be able to see you on your birthday. I want to take you out to dinner or something along those lines next week. Also, i hope you learned to drive and if not, i hope you aren't driving alot.
I found hundreds of sports cards. A lot of them are worth fitty cents to a buck, maybe i can get someone to buy them all.
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| hey, hey |
[23 Apr 2007|09:40pm] |
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In september i am going to need a job in Boston real bad. I'd prefer somewhere in Allston. I need 35-45 hours a week depending on how much it pays. Obviously i will be able to find one, but it would help a lot if anyone had any suggestions.
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[26 Mar 2007|10:22pm] |
YO!
if anyone has a phone charger for a RAZR that i can buy or borrow for a night, let me know.
in other news, my phone is deadski and will be until i find a charger so getting in touch with me is more or less impoossible.
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[26 Feb 2007|09:56pm] |
The week ended just as good as it started.
Some people aren't who i thought they were, but anyone that has a problem with me being happy isn't too worth it anyways.
I'm going to stop drinking a lot before we play. The Kool Klux Klan was a little shakey, but we did well.
comming back to school has been the lamest. thats probably why i left three times. god i cant make it two more months.
I am trying to find someone to help draw me up a half sleeve that i can start getting done before graduation.
I also have a couple extra things i want done on my other arm.
Emily is taking me to the Bruins next week because shes sweet.
I am taking Kelsey to see the Bruins later in the month.
Also, does anyone know where i can get my taxes done for free/cheap??
I didn't do them last year, but i think i getmoney back this time and i am hurtin' for it.
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[21 Feb 2007|04:17pm] |
i have been having all kinds of fun.
Every night of vacation so far has been a blast.
I miss a ton of people that i havent seen yet this week.
I'm exhausted but in a good way.
I have had to work all week so far 7-3 but i am off for the rest of the week so that means i can have a tonz of fun AND sleep too!
i just tried to remember where i've been every night and i realized that i dont even really remember.
maybe friday and saturday i was at molly's and slept either there or kelsey's. sunday was at nic's and then kelsey's and then i passed out in my own bed. monday and tuesday was molly's and one of them was kelsey's too. tonight me shelley and molly are going to do fun things and i am going to sleep for a million hours.
COME TO OUR SHOW FRIDAY AT THE ARTSPACE.
monstahh jamz is playing and so is tomorrow the gallows. probs party after because whats an @6s&7s!(NOT nineteentwentynine ya queer) show without a party?
Saturday is the only night i dont have shit to do i think. Invite me to a party, I'm a cheap enough date.
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[08 Feb 2007|11:34pm] |
Dear entire female population,
I have no idea why i am such a huge jerk. I have been a dick to just about everyone. I really am sorry. Somehow it took a series of shitty, shitty mistakes to realize the extent of how much of a doucebag i am. I cannot change the things that have happened, but i promise i am trying to get better at being aware of my actions. Please forgive me.
Nathan "hey, wanna see my nuts????" Richardson
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[01 Feb 2007|02:34pm] |
Nowhere.
That¹s my new name since I left town.
Freeways.
Kinda glad the road map flew out of the window.
Driftwood.
Too serious about destination
Jukebox.
Who in their right minds would let someone else pick the songs to the soundtrack of their lives?
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| every year |
[01 Jan 2007|10:09pm] |
This year I'll try not to think too much.
This year I'll try to stand up for myself.
This year I'll live like I've never lived before.
This is my year for sure.
Last night was so much fun. I love EVERYONE, oh and i love 2007. 2006 was okay too.
I've got 100 resolutions.
But I've got no solutions.
I've got one song I write 100 ties.
And only a dozen or so rhymes.
This year I'll try not to drink so much.
This year I'll try to stand up straight.
This year let's live like we've never lived before.
This is our year for sure.
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| fuck not lest ye be fucked |
[18 Dec 2006|10:07pm] |
My car is broken. Probably because i am an awful driver and probably because i will only drive shitboxes. It could cost a hundred bucks or it could be a tonz more and i will need a loan.
Everything has been really good for a while. Pretty drug free. Pretty broke still.
But it has come to my attention that i am still a fuck up going nowhere.
One step forward, two steps back. (its the latest dance craze sweeping the masses of undermotived, low-talent, hopeless masses)
I'm turning my cell phone off until christmas except for emergencies. I'll reply to messages when i get some of my shit figured out.
If i dont get a new job in the next month, i will drive myself into a tree. (assuming i have a car) Lets cross our fingers.
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| la la la lick me ya piece of shit |
[29 Oct 2006|12:13pm] |
I can't handle my weeks anymore. School is fucking killing me. I don't take any classes and still somehow i'm over-stressed. Maybe it's having to go to work everyday, or maybe it's that i am not even close to the person i really am when i am at school. When i'm not around all my friends, i react to everything differently.
I'm stressed because i don't have time to do the things i want to do. I need to have band practice, i need to see my friends, and i absolutly need to see kristine.i work four or five days a week so that leaves not nearly enough time to do all those things. i can't work less because as it is, i am so fucking poor that it hurts.
But then on the weekend i get to forget about all that shit and just have fun and be me.
Friday was nuts. I was a little bit of a sour puss for a while but then everyone showed up and things got way better.
Layed around like a gross lazy ass all day saturday until i took the train back to beverly and see kristine. she took me out to dinner and then we played with the boys and watched some rob zombie movie.
i have to work tonight and tomorrow night. then halloween is tuesday with kristine. then work a bunch more days. i think i might be free friday and saturday night. hopefully i can get all my paperwork done so i can get my fucking car finally.
i just need it to be thanksgiving already, because that means my birthday is comming up. time needs to get busy moving.
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[21 Sep 2006|10:03pm] |
You know whats good?
I do.
Having your truck die only to find out that the engine shit the bed and at the cheapest it would cost 1500 dollars.
I need to get it towed from the garage tomorrow and i have no idea how i am going to do it.
I thought hard about getting some kind of loan, but i would have to wait until i turn eightteen in december and by the time i will be even to make a dent in the payments, i will have to worry about rent in boston.
Long story short, i'm not going to be able to see anyone because i live in fucking rowley and i wish i could just sleep for a few months.
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[17 Sep 2006|08:17pm] |
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when it rains, it pours.
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| fallen homies, complimenting erin, insulting tricia |
[29 Aug 2006|11:37pm] |
everythings been nonstop since thursday.
end of the summer blowout i guess.
we practiced a little thursday but decided that we absolutly had to record. spent the night planning everything. everything. new song.
we went to rediculous means to record the first four. broke life, and gave up on recording for a little. oh and i called into work, as if they didnt hate me enough already. i guess i worked a little saturday and then i went to Slambahs and did lots of shit. i stayed up all night thinking, thinking, listening to happy hollow and watching awful t.v movies.
don't bother trying to explain angel
got out of my bed only to realize i had a really terrible anxious feeling and i had to leave my house so i went to shelleys and did things to feel good and then we watched Garden State which apparently seems to always be the solution to whatever i am feeling. off to haverhill.
picked up the love of my life on her bday and we went to the movies. movie places are stupid. we sat in my truck for hours and i guess i got some clarity or some heartbreak or some who the fuck knows.
only solution: back to haverhill to get drunk with most of the people that matter to me.
pass out, wake up, go to work, leave way early because i'm a scumbag.
erin&emilys last night, summer's over, have to party. why? because we're young, because life is scary, becuase the real world is knocking at the back door. i don't have to answer it for a year but its a long fucking walk.
iwannafuckitup
scumbag over here called into work again. scumbag here will probably show up to work high and try to sleep out back.
oh god.
i hope MVH calls me back. i am so poor.
i have no time to relax. i am always going. my body aches.
i need to land on my feet. someone fucking make me stable. someone just fucking hug me until i dont think anymore.
until i have to go back to school on tuesday, i just want to see people i care about and do things that make me happy. selfish? dont fucking care.
shit and kisskissbangbang is amazing and i want people to watch it with me.
love friends, fuck trivial shit i whine about
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[17 Aug 2006|09:26am] |
alright so, i'm the most broke i've been in my entire life. seriously, after i get my check on friday, my money is already spent. so i have been borrowing lots of money and taking lots of money to support my need for gas, beer, and coffee. its okay, i'll get back on my feet soon enough but until then, i am accepting early birthday gifts in the form of money and ciggerettes.
really though, come to the show saturday, maybe we'll be good or something and you'll like us.
today is my first day off in over a week i think and i am exhausted.
today will probably consist of getting high and watching the price is right. yes! then some band practice.
tomorrow is work and then amber i think? then maybe some band practice (or just getting drunk)
saturday is more practice and the show.
life is fun.
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| 1929 till i die |
[14 Aug 2006|07:53pm] |
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come to our first show this saturday the nineteenth at the gloucester artspace. its woodvales burning's last show and monsta jamz, mass bay and others are playing. we're probably going on around 5 but the show starts at four so get there early. five bux.
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| Jump ship before it falls apart! |
[31 Jul 2006|11:46pm] |
Today i was messed up so i decided i needed a cd and picking a cd a random seemed like a really good idea. Turns out to be some little known pop-punk band that released this mediocre cd during the pop-punk phenomenon a couple years ago. Problem is i can't listening to it because i want to see how it ends, like some independent film with a cliche storyline. And the lyrics are such a bummer.
Those lyrics combined with the depressing feeling we got after watching Tarnation (it really was good, see it, just prepared to feel bad afterwards) leaves me in a really weird mood.
I think a lot of things that i think i would regret saying out loud days after, so lets not right?
I'm probably going to take the road test in the next couple weeks, i'm not giving a date so i dont have to announce my failure.
Nights are all free for the most part, i'm just really run down and tired from working, sleeping/eating little etc etc
But seriously i'm still really happy pretty much on the daily and i umm yeah.
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[20 Jul 2006|12:49pm] |
I hate that this summer is halfway over. I love everything else.
Music is sick, friends are sweet, you should say hooters before everytime you drink.
I've pretty much just been hanging out with most of the people i want all the time. We get fucked on the daily and we all are so happy.
First show, comming soon.
PS - I miss molli, jessie&will, andrew, nikita, and a ton others, for real.
PSS - Me and erin decided we need to accomplish all the good things from last summer, that is, getting drunk in erins living room all the time, getting fucked at shelleys (and waking up and doing it all over again), drive in, more boat, etcetc
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[06 Jul 2006|11:53pm] |
I need a boat.
I need to spend everyday going out on the ocean and driving along the coast looking at large waterfront houses with windows covering the water view that i will never come close to even being able to have or even walk inside of.
Too bad if i had one, i would probably do something stupid because i have no idea which way boat traffic goes or how to even work a boat.
Fuck. It's probably the one thing that would make me the most happy.
Besides the fact that me, erin, sam, and evan went to salisbury beach and only had to pay fifty dollars each to some big sketchy hells angel looking guy for our tattoos. They are wicked fucking good and i'm sure pictures will be posted later.
fuckineedaboat
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