I agree that an intro post is in order.
Most of you already know me, but I live in New York where I work as a high school math teacher. In August of 2006 I went on a two week vacation to Mexico. Three days before I left I met this amazing posse of Mexico City dykes who took me and the friend I was traveling with under their wings and showed us a good time. One of them was this amazing woman, Anahí, with whom I had what she thought was going to be a one night stand my last night in Mexico.
And I was hooked. Maybe it was because she was the first woman I'd been with in two years. Maybe it was because she was the first queer person I'd been with in a year and a half. Maybe it was because I hadn't found myself attracted to someone like her (long hair, occasionally lipstick wearing), in a long, long, long time, but I couldn't stop thinking about her. We exchanged a few e-mails, and then I was able to go back to Mexico City for a week in November of that year to perform at this lesbian festival. I stayed with her, and we had a blast. We started e-mailing a lot more after that. I went back to visit again in February for another week, then in May for a weekend. And then I spent all of July and August there (renting my own place, a short trip from her apartment).
Recently, she came to visit me for the first time here in New York. It was really intense, and difficult at times, but really amazing. After she left I got really depressed, and so did she, and there were a few days of, "What are we doing?!?!? How can we be in a long distance relationship like this???!! This is so painful!!" and then I bought another plane ticket down to see her. I'm leaving on Thursday night and I'll be back on Monday evening.
I guess we have some particular challenges. First of all, it doesn't look like either one of us is moving to each other's city any time in the foreseeable future. I feel committed to teach at my school for at least another year and a half (though after all the bullshit from last week, I'm starting to feel differently!!), and she, well, to move here she needs a student visa or an H1B visa. She's recently admitted to herself that in fact she doesn't want to get her PhD (which, good, I'm glad she's admitted that to herself), and honestly, I don't know what kind of H1B jobs she could get. (That is where your employer sponsors you for the job because you are considered an expert in your field. My step-father, for example, has one, since he is the preeminent Locke scholar in the world. Weird, right?) So, we are left perpetually asking the question of, "what are we doing in this relationship that seems to have no concrete future?" It sucks.
Also, the other major obstacle in our LDR is, of course, money. As she put it to me last night on the phone (or, Skype, more accurately), "Sometimes I don't think I have the money for a long distance relationship." New York is a VERY expensive city to visit, even if the plane ticket is bought for her (cough cough), and she barely makes enough as a research assistant to cover her expenses in Mexico. And, of course, the exchange rate is terrible.
So, that's my long distance relationship in a nutshell. I'm sure I'll post more about it soon. Let's here from the rest of you!!
And I was hooked. Maybe it was because she was the first woman I'd been with in two years. Maybe it was because she was the first queer person I'd been with in a year and a half. Maybe it was because I hadn't found myself attracted to someone like her (long hair, occasionally lipstick wearing), in a long, long, long time, but I couldn't stop thinking about her. We exchanged a few e-mails, and then I was able to go back to Mexico City for a week in November of that year to perform at this lesbian festival. I stayed with her, and we had a blast. We started e-mailing a lot more after that. I went back to visit again in February for another week, then in May for a weekend. And then I spent all of July and August there (renting my own place, a short trip from her apartment).
Recently, she came to visit me for the first time here in New York. It was really intense, and difficult at times, but really amazing. After she left I got really depressed, and so did she, and there were a few days of, "What are we doing?!?!? How can we be in a long distance relationship like this???!! This is so painful!!" and then I bought another plane ticket down to see her. I'm leaving on Thursday night and I'll be back on Monday evening.
I guess we have some particular challenges. First of all, it doesn't look like either one of us is moving to each other's city any time in the foreseeable future. I feel committed to teach at my school for at least another year and a half (though after all the bullshit from last week, I'm starting to feel differently!!), and she, well, to move here she needs a student visa or an H1B visa. She's recently admitted to herself that in fact she doesn't want to get her PhD (which, good, I'm glad she's admitted that to herself), and honestly, I don't know what kind of H1B jobs she could get. (That is where your employer sponsors you for the job because you are considered an expert in your field. My step-father, for example, has one, since he is the preeminent Locke scholar in the world. Weird, right?) So, we are left perpetually asking the question of, "what are we doing in this relationship that seems to have no concrete future?" It sucks.
Also, the other major obstacle in our LDR is, of course, money. As she put it to me last night on the phone (or, Skype, more accurately), "Sometimes I don't think I have the money for a long distance relationship." New York is a VERY expensive city to visit, even if the plane ticket is bought for her (cough cough), and she barely makes enough as a research assistant to cover her expenses in Mexico. And, of course, the exchange rate is terrible.
So, that's my long distance relationship in a nutshell. I'm sure I'll post more about it soon. Let's here from the rest of you!!
