insanitysrose28

[

mood

|

pensive

]

Hi y'all!

I'm new to this fandom so I only currently have one fic worth posting. It's a Pip x Seras fic I did for a LJ challenge. Feel free to pick it apart any way you see fit.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4340997/1/Waiter

*Not sure what else to say x_x* -Shot-

bookdragon56

Ah, new here, so bear with me...and I apologize if anyone's reviewed this one before...

 Title: Breaking the Beast
Author: Woof
Summary: "For every tale a beginning. Ten years after a fateful cold November evening in Transylvania, Abraham Van Helsing copes with the dangerous prisoner in his basement... (My first Hellsing fic. Criticism greatly appreciated.)"
Genres:Drama/Supernatural
Rating:T
Source:http://www.fanfiction.net/u/802744/Woof

Plot: Basically how Alucard comes to be bound by Abraham and how things progress afterwards. Told from Van Helsing's prospective.
Grammar, Style, Spelling and Punctuation: Flawless
Originality: I've seen a few people attempt to explore the change from Dracula to Alucard, but Woof's version is the best I've ever had the pleasure of reading.
Characterization: Completely on target. Alucard's character is more Manga related, and Abraham seems to have come directly out of Bram Stoker's Dracula. The combination of the two is mind blowing. Most of Dracula's characters are not mentioned very much, but when they do make appearances they are canon.
Entertainment: I laughed a couple of times and recoiled once in horror. Also provided valuable insight into both characters.
Canon:No OOC here. Woof compliments both Stoker's and Hirano's material.
Flaws:This was never finished it. I suspect he was running out of ideas because the last chapter was a bit odd. It is also slow in one or two sections, but other than that it was addictive. There is still hope me may finish...someday...
Strengths: Story telling style, grammar,  chapters that weren't too short or too long, engaging, nor any overly dramatic parts. Concise and masterful. Plot was genius in detail and description. Reading this fic blew my mind away...
Suggestions:If it were finished, that would make it an epic...
Overall rating: (Wow; Good; Promising; Bad; Toxic!). WOW. 9 out of 10 because it has no ending. -_-

sir_hellsing

[

mood

|

amused

]

Just to vent of Hellsing fic cliché plot themes that contradict canon. Share 'em.

I won't even touch the "Alucard turns a new girl in a mission" or "Alucard is awoken by Integra's heiress in the future" Sue plots.

Which are your pet peeves? While I've been guilty of writing this in the past (when the Manga didn't advance to correct me) and I KNOW it can be written well, the following plots bother me for redundancy and unoriginality:

( Cut for nineCollapse )

None of these ideas are bad in the beginning (I have read good stories with the premises. I'm guilty some of them), but now they have become generic fanon "plot bunnies" of choice that tends to lead to OOC characterization. What happened to creativity?

What are yours?

rossofioreluna

[

mood

|

drained

]

I've been lurking around for a few weeks and thought I'd try my hand at reviewing.

Title: New Residency
Author: Sparkle26591 (who knew there were so many?)
Summary: There is a new residant at the Hellsing house, Who is she and why did Alucard bring her back? R and R please (OMG like intrigue!!)
Genres: General/Humor
Rating: Rated T for tacky.
Source: The Ninth Ring of Hell

Plot:

( Teh Plot!Collapse )

Grammar, Style, Spelling and Punctuation: Spelling errors, but not too many. First person, can get a bit confusing at times.
Originality: The self insert is as cliche as cliche can be. Prank wars, however, are something new.
Characterization: OOC is the only way to describe it. At least the author admitted that it might very well suck (which it did).
Entertainment: Um… laugh at the whole ridiculousness of it all?
Canon: ?
Flaws: Everybody's OOC, there's a self insert, the word "hiya" is used, the dialogue is weird at times, I could go on.
Strengths: Points for not making Integra a bitch and for it not really being a Sue… yet. Grammar's not too horrendous, I guess.
Suggestions: Try getting a better grip on the characters before attempting more fanfiction, take a writing class, the potential's there; use spell check, betas are always good things, lose the self inserts, keep trying!
Overall rating: (Wow; Good; Promising; Bad; Toxic!). Bad, not quite toxic, the story has no promise but the author does (at least I think she does, with a little practice).

Sample of the story:

( KNOCK! KNOCK I say!Collapse )

hells_countess

[

mood

|

nervous

]

I am posting to offer up one of my stories as a sarifice on the altar of critisism. It is still in the works, and so I'm hoping that by getting feedback, I can improve further chapters. It's an AxI that may possibly turn out to be an AxIxS. In it, Integra goes blind, and Alucard blames himself. It's a drama/angst. I'm really looking forward to getting some in-depth reviews!

( Read more...Collapse )

Thank you!
Hell's Countess

chocolate_daze

[

mood

|

anxious

]

Hi! Er, well...I'm a lurker and it's not my first time to write AxI albeit I'm rather have little self-confidence on my works. I just want to know what you think on this piece. A ficlet I made for 31_days.

http://community.livejournal.com/31_days/519511.html

Just follow the fake-cut. ^^;

Sankyuu!

ETA: For those who are members of the other communities I've posted, sorry for the multiple posts. =_=

meyrevived

I hereby sacrefice a brand new fic of mine to your reviews ^_^

Title: A Night Out
Fandom: Hellsing, manga version.
Pairing: Take it as a fic with pairings or not, read whatever you like into it.
type: Humor.
Warnings: A strip show but no graphic description of any naughty bits.
Beta: compli_cait-hime-sama-dono
synopsis: Post Dawn. It's Walter's 21st birthday and Arthur takes him to a special cabaret for his birthday. Islands comes along.
Word count: 5,453

A Night Out

meyrevived

[

mood

|

giddy

]

I stumbeled into this community after looking for Hirano intreviews in sir_hellsing's vecinity and I hereby offer some of my fics for reviewing.

These are not all of my fics, these are the fics that matter, that I put real thought into and that I really bothered to work hard for (there was a time when I thought writing fics was for fun).

So, yeah.

Angst

Craving

Creeping Down the Corridors At Mid Night

French Knight

Thank you.

sir_hellsing

[

mood

|

hot

]

I'll probably review bad IxS smut next.

Title: Substitution.
Author: insomniac-od.
Summary: "Humans do the stupidest things for an organ that hardly makes an adequate meal and yet we vampires do too."
Genres: General.
Rating: T (see the sex is implied, kiddies!).
Source: Volepit.

Plot: Not much of a plot but a pretty accurate 'what if' scenery. Sequel to a previous ficlet. Seras, while on a violent sexual charged relationship with Alucard, watches how he behaves around Integral, almost loving (what she believed he wasn't capable of). She contemplates the reason of their agreement and finds herself angry.
Grammar, Style, Spelling and Punctuation: Spotless, I always admired the author's vivid prose without being purple. The choices of words are fabulous, strike an emotional cord.
Originality: Well, the premise hasn't been touched before (which is strange 'cause is the most easiest way to have AxS in the Manga while Integral is young and is around).
Characterization: Spot on, this was written long ago when Pip was supposed to be dead (not inside Seras or possible vampire) or the confirmed canon father/daughter relationship between Alucard and Seras of volume 8 (while hinted, it could have be taken in many ways). Seras can get angry and with a reason, to be used emotionally (even if she was a willing participant) is a violation, and she reacts yet doesn't extract revenge yet (self control!). Alucard is also correct, employing any means possible, putting Integral (as he always does) as his # 1 priority.
Entertainment: Grim, dramatic and sensual. Recommended.
Canon: Manga, see in characterization which 'violations' has committed, none really for the time it was published.
Flaws: It's a pity that leads pending the revenge, another one shot as companion to this and "From Whom the Doves Cry" would be great.
Strengths: Seras, she's vibrant, not allowing herself play victim, no longer a child but an adult (yet still immature in many aspects). The idea, brilliant and possible within the relationship.
Suggestions: *cough*Revenge*cough*
Overall rating: Very good with Wow-ish moments.

Sample of the story: ( Seras' thoughts regarding her relationship with AlucardCollapse )

auxphono

[

mood

|

blah

]

Title: Silent Night
Author: VampyrsDaughter-Celeste
Summary: "One unusually quiet night, Sir Integra wants some alone time and makes Alucard take Seras out for a walk. He decides to teach her a few things and she catches on quickly. I'm not sure if I will make this an AxS or if there will be no pairings. Please R"
Genres: General/Romance
Rating: T (PG-13)
Source: The Ninth Circle of Hell

Plot: Boredom lingers over Hellsing's Vampires while Integra gets a reprieve from constant work. Alucard, on Integras' suggestion, teaches Seras to use some of her vampiric powers, while Seras is intrigued by and longs for Alucard's company.
Grammar, Style, Spelling and Punctuation: Random periods (and I don't mean menstrual irregularities). Bonus points for proper usage of the word "than" - such a rarity these days and a particular pet-peeve of mine. Spelling and punctuation only need minor improvements, something a beta could do in the span of ten minutes.
Originality: It's not an original plot, not much of a plot at all really.. then again, it's only in its second chapter.
Characterization: Integra's whiny, or at least her thoughts are. Alucard's aloof, but not aloof enough for my tastes, and not sinister (as he should be). Alucard also gives Seras too much information, he's not as vague in his replies to Seras as he should be. Seras's character varies greatly: first she's nervous (in an OOC way), innocent to the point of being feeble-minded, then she's a blushing schoolgirl, followed by clingy and self-satisfied. All could be in character for her, if the author could place her reactions and emotions within the proper context.
Entertainment: Mildly entertaining for fans of the AxS pairing.
Canon: Unclear, leaning towards Anime.
Flaws: Seras's character needs to be more defined and not flip-flop like a caught fish. Since the grammar doesn't stick out like a sore thumb and easily remedied, I won't list it as a flaw. The plot needs a little tightening - a good way to do this is to plot out the key moments of the fic completely (which from the looks of it and how it reads, the author hasn't done).
Strengths: I'd say the interaction between Seras and Alucard (though it has some major flaws) is more than half-way decent - the author just has to put reason behind each characters' actions.
Suggestions: Beta, beta, beta. Just having a friend (who you know will give an honest opinion and has read/seen Hellsing) would be enough to get rid of the OOCness. Grammar beta would be good, but I'd put more focus on plot and characterization first. The fic could be done well, given a bit more effort.
Overall rating: Passable - if one gets over the grammar, lack of details and minor character flaws.

( Sample of the story:Collapse )