What's been going on.

My head is a mess.

Every memory replays over and over like a broken record.

Making me feel worse.

It all....

Makes me want to disappear.

"I'm such a failure, what have I done with my life?"

"No one wants to listen to you."

"No one wants to see you."

"No one has time for any of your emotions."

"It's all in your head, all of it, you are just selfish and don't deserve to be heard."

"Everyone has problems, so shut it and keep it to yourself."

"Just put on a mask, hide it."

It makes me anxious, angry, hurt.

Confused.

It will never stop.

I know that.

Now I am overeating.

Calms me down.

Now I can't sleep.

I get more art done.

Now I'm still cutting.

Helps me feel as though I'm being forgiven.

......
...

I wish I wasn't a coward.