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Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
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1:39 am - In Recognition Of Outstanding Service
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| Friday, July 1st, 2005
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2:10 pm - And so It began. . .
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entaru
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I have seen them. . .
Heard them. . .
Their insistance, mad rushed, forgotten misunderstanding
of law
Greed and lock
hold
on idealisim
power corrupts you only if you use it
become bigger
hold it secret like some gnashed
forgotten spectere.
So here we go, you there in the white
tell me
what is it you crave
to foster me
to guide me
to alight my path
I eschew that
you
your need to be greater
to give me only what I can handle.
In that you are the same as the abyss
you are the divide
stuggle against yourselves
for you have fought too long against the monster
you now have it's form.
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| Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
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3:02 am - Nephilim
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| Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
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2:45 am
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tecknovore
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"Since in Hindu thinking all the universe is divine, is a manifestation of divinity itself, how could we say 'No' to anything in the world?
How could we say 'No' to brutality, stupidity, vulgarity, to thoughtlessness?
And he said, 'For you and me, you must say yes'." - Joseph Campbell
This is from the Power of Myth PBS special where Joseph Campbell is recounting a conversation he had with a particular Hindu Holy man. If you haven't seen the whole six hour TV special hosted by Bill Moyers, you have to see it. It is a must for anyone even remotely interested in mythology, religions, or anything related.
Regarding the quotation, I find I hold the same sentiment, but I don't think it is a popular one. Ever since certain 'experiences' over 7 years ago I have had a complete moral ambiguity you could say. Nothing shocks me, nor do I find myself making the arbitrary value judgments I had previously. Why is this phenomena not spoken of more? Is it because it would alienate the profane majority, who professes to cling to morals yet continuously violates them? I've been trying to assimilate this detached viewpoint into 'everyday life' but I'm finding increasing difficulty. I think I may indulge in the fact that my de facto sociopathology gets a rise out of people, but I really don't think it should. I have the conviction that more people should be able to see from the position of moral relativism, but I think I may be projecting myself onto people who may not be able to adopt this paradigm. Does this make sense?
When I try to explain to someone that no, cannibalism isn't universally reviled, and in fact is venerated in some south sea cultures, it doesn't seem to have the effect it should. Or that pederasty was an accepted practice among advanced civilizations such as the Greeks, when people are asking for the death penalty for kiddie fiddlers. You can take any, 'horrible' crime, and find a group of people who have highly valued that practice at one time or another. It is all a manifestation of the same divinity, even the ugly underbelly. Or to use a phrase I recently heard from a friend, we're all jewels on Indra's web, even the deviants. Does acquiring this viewpoint necessarily require you to have had an experience mystical or otherwise similar to samadhi or other state which allows you to see everything in its beautiful completeness?
I didn't really have a point for all this commentary, I merely wanted to share the quote from Joseph Campbell because it makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone in my seemingly deviant viewpoint. Do you think he means that an enlightened person in saying 'yes' to these 'atrocities' must partake in them personally, or does the 'yes' merely signify the illumined one's genuine acceptance of all the manifestations of 'divinity'/nature? Maybe my explorations on this point are misguided and maybe there are other mechanisms at work in this phenomena. Let me know if you catch them.
I posted this to my journal a little while back, but I think it may be fitting for this community, and maybe it will actually generate intelligent response.
current mood:  groggy
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| Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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3:46 am - The Nephilim Working
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sammhain
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I've waited about a month to post about any of this because it's taken me about a month to sort through it, and although undoubtedly I'll be making new connections for years to come I feel I'm ready to post on the subject. Some of you may recall a series of posts I've made over the past months dealing with the Nephilim Working. For those of you that don't recall any of those it sucks to be you because I didn't put any of it in memories folders so you'll have to scour my journal going back several months to get all the details.
The goal of the Nephilim Working was to rebirth myself using the archetype of the nephilim. My reasons for this dealt mainly with the completion of my K&C and how I felt it affected my ideas of adepthood. Additionally it dealt with my initiation into the black lodge, and that is perhaps the best place to start.
My initiation into the black lodge happened a short while before I started this live journal and it is where my user name comes from. The Black Lodge is not a traditional lodge by any means, there are no degrees, no formal ritual structure, no sanctioned governing body. The Black Lodge instead is an occult order consisting of individuals dedicated to a single cause. Some members work in concert some stay lone wolves their whole lives. Initiation into the lodge is purely experiential, and personal. No man can bring you into the order. Though I'm sure there are other methods the few members of the order I have met were all initiated in dreams. The following is the account of my initiation into the lodge:
( The Black LodgeCollapse )
Eventually a series of divinations, dreams and automatic writings lead me to ascertain that that the black "demon" would in part be realized by embarking what developed into the Nephilim Working, and my codifying and developing what I have termed the 144 current. I have detailed the conception of the Nephilim, and covered various s stages of the development of this working. Of prime importance was the until now not commented on realization of the relationship between Lilith and Babalon. I mentioned in a rather graphic post that I had chosen Lilith as the adoptive mother of my nephilim self after encountering her while pathworking the Tree Of Death. I have had numerous encounters with Lilith since that first one where I was nourished via sexual congress instead of the consumption of her menstrual blood.
They key thing to note here is that this makes it an essentially incestuous relationship. I'm not saying this for some creep out factor, but because it relates the correspondence of Lilith and Babalon. The closer I approached the birth date the of myself/nephilim the usually raven black hair of Lilith became scarlet , and I often found my thoughts turning to Babalon. I eventually had the book Sex and Rockets practically jump out at me at the book store.(For those of you who aren't familiar this book is about Jack Parsons who among other things participated in the infamous Babalon Working, if you don't know Jack Parsons, shame on you) Eventually it became clear to me that much in the way the nephilim was my son my brother and myself, Lilith was the daughter of Babalon, the sister of Babalon, and Babalon herself. Though I couldn't quite put my finger on why this clicked it all fell into place last night as I finally made my way through Kaos14 and reminded me of material I had read years ago. Those interested in the details can read Kaos14 themselves. the sections "Lilith and Babalon" on through "The Daughter Of Fortitude". The genera The basic summation is that there is information here and there, much of it dealing with Enochian Magick, that establishes a link between Lilith and Babalon.
While I was in the midst of the Nephilim working I was introduced by word of mouth to Kaos14 which deals with the Kaos-Babalon current, specifically by someone who had done some work combining that current with the 144 current. I filed it away to read later as I already had my hands full. Shortly after deciding the mother was not simply Lilith but Lilith as an aspect of Babalon last month I ritually birthed the nephiliim. The ritual essentially amounted to at first a chod rite where I used the death posture to kill off the shell housing the nephilim, followed by a rebirth ritual using a combination of inhibitory gnosis (sensory deprivation) followed at once by excitatory gnosis (karezza). At the moment of birth I had brief but intense vision of:
"666=9 144=9"
There's actually a further correlation here to Joel Biroco's work with the 156 current that is discussed in Kaos14, in particular that Kaos(156) is a secret name of The Great Beast(666). Though I'm not a particularly huge fan of Thelemic magick, and there are some portions of the material in Kaos14 I disagree with I still find these similarities interesting and sort of fun.
So anyway, that makes 3/18 the birth date of this new aspect in my development it's been an interesting and insightful ride so far, but I'm also left with the feeling that the birth was just the tip of the iceberg. In closing I'd like to apologize to my wife for any of the distance I've demonstrated through this process and to thank her for being patient and understanding throughout it despite being kept in the dark about most of it out of necessity. I'm really looking forward to the places this working will take me and my work especially with the 144 current
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