"REALISM NOT INCLUDED"

Hello boys and girls, my name is Alex and I like to party. With high quantities of manly food and beverages.

This journal is a simple test to see whether or not you feel inspired to leave feedback and click the 'like' button. It's THAT DAMNED IMPORTANT. If you rate me highly enough, maybe I'll give you a hug. A hug and a beer. A hug and a beer and a piece of sirloin steak. Glass of white wine, perhaps?

I was going to be a Royal Marine and then I found myself cast out because my blood was filthy and impure. They chased me from the recruitment centre with sticks, all the way to the train station! I swear, I have never had to run that fast, not even when faced with Jehova's Witnesses on my front doorstep.

So now I'm writing and trying to find work. I'm writing and I'm working out and I'm trying to find work. And I'm eating a damn fine piece of steak. With a beer? Probably...

Anyways, if you find it in your heart of hearts to write something nice on my journal, I'll write something nice on yours! Then we can be friends and we can all write about our busy lives together, aww, isn't that nice?

Ta-ta, gentle people. I'll look forward to reading your own thoughts.