just now

where am i? i was at home, but i can't remember where that is, or what it looks like, or much before i found myself where i was. i'm at someone's house, someone who has some reason not to like me?, but it seems like they don't care that i'm there . . . i find a door, and inside is a girl, a slim Adrianne/Tara/Kellie mix who are those people? and i cry to her, because i can't remember anything, because nothing is making any sense. we make love, but it is disjointed and awkward, because i can't even remember what i am doing. we are outside, running past the back wall of the house. was it so big from the inside? it goes on forever here . . . and there are people, more like the one who doesn't like me, lots of them, playing out in the dark field. we stick to the shadows, hand in hand, trying not to get caught, when the football they who are they? are playing with bounces and lands in front of us. "GO!" she screams. who is she? and i run. but they surround me, so the only way is through. are they all wearing football pads? i realize that i have the ball in my hands, and i make Michael Irvin who? look like a fucking uncoordinated child as i bounce, and duck, and weave, and leap over what seems like thousands of defenders. i who am i? break free, and i realize that i'm not holding the ball, i am holding her, and she wraps her arms around me, and we are . . . somewhere, but i can hardly remember where we just were, or what was happening there, or who she is, except that she looks more like Kellie now, and in the real world, the phone rings . . .