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New Year's Day



Sitting in the Cibolo Super 8. Drinking some coffee

Please help

Hello,

One of my employees had their house burn to the ground last weekend and they need some help. Luckily they're all okay.

If you or your families have some clothing that fits into the following sizes I know that they'd greatly appreciate the help. We also have a cash fund that we're setting up so if you have any unused gift cards from Christmas you'd like to part with...

Children
2 girls - Size 9 Juniors
1 Boy - Size 16
1 Boy - Size 32
Adults
1 male - 34/34
1 female - 7/8

They are located out of state, but we can work at getting any larger items taken to them in one of our company vehicles.

You can comment here or e-mail me at manda_panda@sbcglobal.net to coordinate donation efforts if you so choose.

Thank you all!

Hi

So, since we last spoke I've been...the same, minus the tears at TV shows and all.

I literally work, hang out with C&K and hang out at home. My life is a big ole ball of boring.

I'm stressed at work right now...we should have our open enrollment done by now and currently we don't have a decision on a carrier yet, no fun. So guess who gets to travel...a lot in the next two weeks? Oooh me! The best part? I have to be in Weatherford by 7am on Friday...anyone who knows me knows that I don't see 7am during the week (oh the joys of living 3 miles from work) let alone before then...and I get to travel with our insurance broker to Abilene. Fun times, uh...does anyone remember I'm not a good passenger? If my friends offer to drive and I decline, or ask to meet them there they should know that I'm not afraid of them...I just hate being a passenger - even now when my dad drives, it really bothers me and it's only getting worse as I get older.

But I'll be all over east and west Texas, Lousiania and other states the next two weeks - probably driving it all.

Eh, at least I'll get lots of car time to sing along to really awesome 90s music - maybe I should go get a MP3 player before that happens? I have XM - that should be enough. I'm really having a tough time spending money on an MP3 player right now. I've actually gone to buy one 3 times and due to either having to wait on a retail associate or having some stupid fat mom charge in front of me to get help I haven't gotten one. Must be a sign or something. Maybe if I get one now I can beat that 30 day return policy if Christmas yields one.

I have one present bought...one. I guess I should get on Amazon and get to shopping. Or target.com.

My dad wants a giftcard to Academy, my mom is getting an iPod shuffle - to see if she can figure out iTunes enough to warrant an expensive one or she's getting a handheld XM radio...my sister...I'm getting a gift card to Kroger. Until she starts paying rent or helping my parents with the bills or stops using my mema's good nature about watching her kid she doesn't deserve a gift. I usually feel bad though, because she usually puts a lot of thought into my gift every year. Sometimes I wonder how she feels about me...we all know how I feel about her...but I don't care enough to ask because regardles of how she feels about me...it's not going to change my feelings towards her until she mans up and takes responsibility for herself. When she moves out, I will buy her fun stuff for her apartment, take her to dinner every now and then and watch the kiddo. But until then? I just don't think she deserves it. Call me harsh or rude or whatever. My niece? She's getting clothes. She needs pants and sweaters and I'll probably get her a cabbage patch kid. Just because I got - uh scratch that, still get - one every year at christmas. Mema? I was thinking of some new clothes or some law and order DVDs...now that her dvd player works. Pop? I never know what to get him, maybe I'll hit up sears and get some nice shirts and a gift receipt. He's so picky though. Maybe he could use some new towels? Ug, no idea.

C&K are taken care of, and depending on where we're headed on christmas day I'll have to do a bit more shopping, but target can take care of that. I need to get my boss and his admin a present, and something for the receptionist backups...but that'll be more like coffee or tea mugs with coffee or tea in them. Hmm...

Maybe I'll get into the christmas spirit soon...it usually takes a while. I haven't even decorated my office this year, that's not a good sign. Our company christmas party is coming up soon. From what I've heard about past parties this is due to be a lot of fun. Note to self - take camera and charged batteries.

I'm off to lead another couple of boring weeks before my next post.

Moods

So...I really love by birth control. Most girls hate it. Not me. I love mine. I don't have PMS or water weight or sore boobs or the whole bleeding thing. I love my doctor for putting me on it. It really makes living with me much better.

I do hate 1 week out of my pack though. It's the pack that makes me all emotional. While watching Law & Order: SVU tonight I literally almost cried 5 times. The Unit? Oh yeah, tears there too. Reading the Sean Taylor news? Full on tears. I hate this week. And it changes every pack, and it sometimes lasts for one day, and sometimes more. I had an employee who had to quit today due to some pretty severe and freaky health problems and I teared up.

In other news - I totally Suzy Homemade it tonight. I made cookies and muffins. The muffins suck ass...I'm not happy. Eh, they are coffe muffins so I guess I could submerse them in my coffee pot...blah. Not happy. The cookies are great, except the first batch totally didn't cook all the way through so I had to put them back in the oven and cook them again, and oh my goodness - that is the best way to do cookies ever. Try it sometime. They're fully cooked and mushy! And if anyone of you have ever cooked with me before you know I can't stand raw animal products - touching or eating them. Raw egg? Puh-lease it turns my stomach just beating them. (I have to crack the eggs and then wash my hands right after...ew)

I know that post was so very exciting...this is why I don't post regularly.

In other news - who saw the Monday night game? Seriously 0-0 until there were 20 seconds left in the game? Wow, that was hilarious. Steelers by a field goal...heh just silly.

And now - random fact about Panda - I love the TV show COPS. Old COPS, new COPS, doesn't matter if it's on I'm watching it.

news

Hmm, news of note.

I'm very very very happy the weather decided to go wacko on a 4 day weekend. I've been running a low grade fever for the past two days - no fun. I think it broke finally and I'm feeling okay.

It was weird though, I never felt bad, but just never felt good. Perfect for a couple of days of drinking hot tea and cross stitching. I've come a long way on my project and I'll probaly even be able to finish it by christmas. In time to ship too!

Very exciting.

That's my weekend.

Have a good work week everyone.

Two in one day you say?

Well, it's technically the next day, but I haven't slept yet so it's still the same day.

Kelly was great, she sounded awesome. And we decided she's a big ole dork. In between songs she said something along the lines of the following:

"So I got my hair cut today and my bangs keep falling in my face and it's annoying, and that's my story. Yeah"

And between other songs:

"Yeah, Cowboys. 10-1. I don't know what that means, but I live with my brother and he says that's good so Go Cowboys!"

So. Much. Fun. She played my favorite song so I was happy. :)

Beers were like $8 and $9 though...after the show the Friend in law wanted to go to the Saucer and we met his wife (the BFF) there and had to sit on the roof...it was cold after the beers were done. And walking by the port-o-potties was terrible....oh and on the way to the bar this chick was walking and totally busted ass.back.and head on the street when she fell off the curb. Damn drunks.

Oh, and I'm getting tickets to the Foo Fighters tomorrow as Ticketmaster is currently down, otherwise I'd have them now.

I'm effing excited about that one. My first rock concert (not counting lollapalooza 97) ever was the Foo Fighters in 97 (wow...that was 10 years ago)and yeah. Plus Dave Grohl makes me happy.

Mmm, pumpkin pie. I'm finally having a slice today. I was too full yesterday to have one. And I must say I'm a whiz at the pumpkin pie thing - even when it's fat free and sugar free (well, almost anyway. 1g fat and 1.5g sugar for each slice) it still tastes like real. I'll share my recipe if you ask nicely.

Don't you just love it when people make totally disjointed posts that seem to make no sense at all?

Day off

I should be working on something or another, but instead I'm here.

Like a LJ pal of mine, I do miss the days where we all used to work in offices and LJ all day. Back and forth comments, etc. It was so much more fun back then. But now...due to new jobs, internet blocks at work and I think a settling of our lives (not the bad kind of settle, just the kind where we get into adult life) doesn't allow us to do that anymore.

Man...having a weekday off at home really sucks with no cable. I'm seriously thinking about getting it again.

Number 1. I miss having a DVR. Having a DVR is a necessity these busy days. And a bonus on weekdays when you're off work.

Number 2. News...I hate the effing local news stations. Especially during sweeps. There is no real news on during sweeps, just stuff that makes us all feel happy or scared. I want CNN, MSNBC, ESPN news. Ug, it really sucks. I only get those stations in my truck via XM, but I'm a thinker when I drive and can't pay attention to stories long enough to hear.

Number 3. Sports...I hate only having the local channels options of what they decide to show. What if I want to watch bull riding one night? Huh? Ok, not that I'd ever really watch bull riding, but not having options sucks.

Ug, oh well. I did want to wait until Fios came to my area, but it's not going to be anytime soon. And with Charter as my only option, I'm not that happy about that. Ug, I found a not expensive option with DVR...still it's Charter. Plus, I'm tired of having snowy television. I did have Charter for about 3 months last year, so I could watch The Shield, and then cancelled it. Crazy ass expensive.

So, it snowed yesterday in Texas...that's just odd. It mostly sleeted and rained, but there as snow mixed in. Silly Texas weather.

I am the weird one in my family - I do not like most of the holiday food offerings. I don't like ham, broiled turkey, stuffing, etc. I got Steak and mashed potatos (is that spelled right, ever since that VP debalce I'm alwas afraid I'm spelling it wrong).

Hmmm. I get to see Kelly Clarkson in about 5 hours, I'm pretty excited. I think she has an amazing voice, and her music is pretty good too. Laugh all you like...you know you sing along whenever you hear "Since you been gone". Hah, caught ya!

I'm off to do some online shopping - the only way to do it on black friday. Hell if it wasn't for Kelly Clarkson I wouldn't even get on the road today.

I guess I should get off here and do something productive.

Happy black friday everyone, and hope you all had a great thanksgiving!

Oh, and for those new fathers on my FL this guy's take on being a new dad is pretty funny. He hasn't updated in a long time, but you're all still pretty new at the parenting thing that this still sort of applies - funny.


http://fatherknowsshit.blogspot.com/

Me

Okay...time to be honest here. I'll apologize to my closest friends now as it's probably not something I've shared with them, but I'm willing currently to share with the world.

After the store robbery almost three years ago, I was pretty scared about everything. At the time I was at goal weight and over all pretty happy with myself. But the robbery happened and I started to gain weight...I gained 60 pounds. I hate seeing that number and writing it, but there it is.

I didn't stop gaining the weight and I constantly talk about losing it, but I'm scared to. I think I'm pretty attactive when I'm near goal weight and that keeps me from losing weight I think. I live alone and do a lot of things by myself, like go out to eat, shop even the bar. I'm fucking paranoid about losing weight and becoming attractive and having to worry about being attacked, raped or stolen. Why would anyone hurt a fat girl?

Being middle of the road (not healthy, not obese) is fine with me. And I hate that.

I want to be at goal weight again. I want to wake up one morning and have my skinny jeans fit. I want to be able to tuck my shirt in and not go "Ew" I want men to notice me like they do my friends. I want to not be the chubby girl my hot friends keep around...I know in my head that that's not why we're friends, but I'm sure it looks that way from the outside.

Overall, I like me and I'm pretty sure I have a bit of body Dysmorphia going on because I don't think I look as bad as I may...but I don't think I'm that terrible. I've always been hippy with a little bit of a beer gut (since college anyway) and I have sports girl thighs from high school sports.

Honestly I'd be happy with 30 pounds gone, but I'm afraid too. Afraid that the wrong sort of freak will look at me and want to hurt me.

I watch way too much television I know, and I know that I'm not in the category of pretty that men lust after...but after the robbery my head has pretty much decided what weight my body should be at.

I know, get over it Panda. I've been telling myself that for 2 years at least and I can't seem to.

When I was living with Lina it was a game to lose weight, to show her that I could and without the fad diets she subscribed to. I did it with portion control and eating healthier on a more regular basis. No fad diets. And I won.

After the robbery, I just didn't care anymore. You hear of breaks...hearts, heads, minds...I had a break in caring...or caring enough to do anything about it.

Eh, maybe I'll stop watching TV or get a guard dog or roommate and I'll feel safer and be able to do it again.

I know. Just do it, easier said than done, so please don't tell me or give me tips or try to help. It's something I have to get over. It's getting better. I don't freak out at every single noise now, I can wwalk outside in the dark withouth seizing up. I can even walk around in my own apartment in the dark. Soon. I promise I'll be better.

Besides I'm spending a week in Florida in July and I have to be somewhat presentable right? I have a real goal and a real reason so I'm getting there and writing this helped.

Procrastination is key

So...I'm putting off writing my novel for now...so you get an update, How fun is that?

My week is pretty much the same every month. Work, go to the saucer, watch football.

However this weekend was an anomaly.

Friday night I decided to stay in. It's funny, when I have more money I spend less, when I have no money I overspend. It's weird...but in a good way. I have a nice chunk in savings, my debts (minus credit cards) is paid off. I'm 28 and only have about $2K in debt right now...I feel pretty accomplished. Oh, sorry about the gross post not behind a cut, I was working with the band on something, I guess I should cut it...

Saturday - The old job called me in to help out the new girl with some stuff. It was sort of a wasted effort as I was only there for an hour, but oh well. I was planning to go to the laundromat afterwards and do laundry and then wash my incredibly dirty truck. Then mom called and told me her friend K was having a Pampered Chef party and invited me along. I don't cook a lot, but I love kitchen utensils so yeah. Most women shop for clothes and shoes and make up. Me? I shop for kitchen utensils and office supplies. I can spend an easy grand in a Staples and not think twice. I don't though. I have a $100 limit, and I'll buy shit for work just to buy it. It's a terrible addiction. Anyway, my grandma bought my pampered chef stuff for me for Christmas because she says she doesn't know what else to get me. I was planning on using my expense pay from old job to pay for it, but now I can do something else with it. After the PC party mom's friend K was taking her friend C out for her birthday so we went to Saltgrass for dinner and beer.

An aside: Women on my FL...I have a scenario for you. You sit down to potty, reach for the paper and feel nothing but cardboard, you freeze and then realize there's someone in the stall next to you. You go to put your hand under the stall...then realize you're not Larry Craig and just knock on the wall and say "Excuse me miss, can you pass me some toilet paper?" You expect to hear "Sure, here you go...I hate that, etc" Nope. I heard nothing but the toilet flush the girl wash her hands. I ask politely again. "Excuse me, but could you hand me some toilet paper?" She walks out. It's obvious to her at this point which stall I'm in as we're the only two in the bathroom. I'm near tears, because the thought of dripping is just gross. I calm down, another lady walks in, but goes to the stall too far away for me to ask so I get up, finish the business in the next stall and wash my hands. Livid at the audacity of this bitch and ask my mom and her friends their opinion on it. I realize the bitch was sitting next to my mom's friend K and loudly proclaim at the end of the story "I hope that bitch gets twat rot" and she looked over and it was obvious she heard my story and she just kept talking to her friend.

After Saltgrass we decided to go to this hole in the wall bar called the Boxcar and listen to some music and drink some more beer. After about an hour or so we decided to play pool and continued to play until the bar closed. Yes my friends, I closed down the bar with my mom and her friends. I should feel old because the waitress thought we all looked alike and were friends when I told her that it was my mom or something. Either that, or my mom and her friends should feel pretty young. I had to drive my mom home...fun times.

Sunday was like most. Spent the morning doing laundry at mom and dads then went to my BFF and my BFFinlaw's house to watch football and eat steak. Yum steak. I took a Benadryl and promptly passed out on the couch.

My days at work are going so fast I can't even begin to describe the fascination that by 8:20 (in my head) it's noon. and at 12:30 (in my head) it's 5:00.

Hope all is well in your worlds.

Beautiful Disaster Tix

Just a test to see if the button works...











Tickets will be held at will call


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so hard to be nice to stupid people

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