i apologize now. both my shift buttons stick. if no capital letters and no question marks will send you into a seizure of rage, don't read this.
 
Sometimes I don't mind working with all men. other days, i can't stand it. i've heard the word pussy about 30 times tonight. normally, i wouldn't care, but hearing the same talk every night gets old. sometimes i think they like me; other times i'm not sure i can trust them.  i hate a gossip mill. and why do boys have to hit and kick stuff. grown men randomly kick walls and push over chairs.  makes me want to kick them. i just want to go home. i want to find a new job.  i hate night work. my mom and i have to write notes to communicate, because our schedules prevent us from seeing other but for about five minutes a day. it's hard to fit in your life and everything you wanted to say in five minutes. 

i really have nothing to say today. i'm at work now, of course, so i'm trying to find something to do to distract me - as my analyst throws a bottle top against the wall over and over and over for entertainment. i'm just waiting for the forklift races to happen one of these days, or to see who can climb the flimsy racks before they tumble. testosterone smells gross. and i fear i may actually catch coodies if i'm subject to these late nights much longer. sleeping during the day makes me feel like a vampire, but not in a good way. no fun flying, lurching creepily in the shadows, wearing fun capes/trenchcoats you'd just look stupid in during the day. oh, and no immortality. forgot that little benefit. would you want to live forever? the shift button worked, yay. i probably wouldn't, but an extended life could be pretty cool. mostly, i'd assume vampires wouldn't need to work. somebody please make me a vampire, in that case. 

i know they were probably playing, but i don't like hearing my name when i come back into a room. i should not be discussed by these people, ever. my paranoia is bad enough, thanks. oh, and i really, really hate when people whisper to each other while others are in the room. go the hell away if it's that important. grrr. 

i want a sidekick. no, not somebody to follow me around and accentuate my greatness. i want the phone/email/camera thing sidekick. i read an emo poll the other day, and one said something about sidekicks. a comment said sidekicks are more for scene kids than emo kids; they mixed up the genres. okay, i think i've got a general idea of what 'scene kids' are, but now i'm going to have to look it up on wikipedia, of course. what is a scene kid. we haven't finished figuring out what emo is yet. and what is the deal with cupcakes. hot topic has cupcake cult stuff, and it's all new to me. i'm becoming very behind on all the latest, i fear. still, if i'm a scene kid or emo kid or just a young adult who still acts like a kid, i want a sidekick. i've never seen one, and i'm thinking it's not very big in the south, or at least in mississippi. i've only spoken to one person with one, and he's from detroit, so... 

i'm reading on the road by jack keroac. i've always seen the name, but i haven't read any of his works. i've been hearing the name everywhere, it seems, after first hearing about it from - who else - pete wentz. leave me alone. i've checked out some of his recommended bands, and i like a few, so i figured i'd check out his literary rating abilities. i'm only about five pages, really, because it's difficult to read with all this noise. anyway. only five pages in, i'm craving a roadtrip. i've always wanted to go on one, but no one else has the time or money. not that i do, but a short outing would be fun. if anyone is actually reading this, have you been on any roadtrips. i mean the kind without your parents. just you or you and some friends. where did you go; what did you do. what places do you recommend in the united states. 

i better. we have less than two hours, which means suddenly there is work to do instead of just the staring at the wall.