Mairead's faith journey

Wow, I have not posted in ages! Not that anyone really reads this anyone, but I do do this for my own benefit as well. A lot has gone on since the last time I posted and perhaps now I have the fire to write down my thoughts here.

I found a video on Youtube that I feel is worth sharing.


Once she started talking, I immediately thought that her parents have already brainwashed her into saying this stuff, but I strongly disagree with that now. Sure, she's 12 but preteens are more aware of social issues than previous generations. I think that 12 year olds should just be kids while they can and not worry or scare them with the scary stuff in life, but at the same time I think starting a dialogue about this stuff at an early is helpful as well. I wouldn't want my child blindly going into high school and being vulnerable to people's twist on the truth. I suppose it varies with each child and what they can handle. If my 12 year old (or younger) came home from school asking me what abortion was I think it'd be important to talk to her about it because if you pass it off as if it's not a big issue, because you're scared to talk about it at her young age, then she'll perceive it as not a big deal.
I sound like I'm already a mother; I'm not!! Ah! I suppose it's a good quality to have, though!

I was thinking about what grade I want to teach for Sunday school in the fall and what kind of things I'd want to teach.  I think one of the most important things to encourage kids to do, no matter what age, is pray.  Whenever I teach high school kids about different forms of prayer, I always forget to say why it is important to pray.  
That is an important question.  Why do we have to pray?  God already knows what my wants and needs are.  He knows what I'm feeling, right?  Yes, he knows everything about you, but having a relationship with God can't be a one-way thing.  Just like human relationships, both partners need to participate.  You can't just have one person doing all the work.  Wouldn't that be selfish and disrespectful?
By devoting time for prayer, whether it be 30 seconds or 30 minutes through out the day, you're developing a closer relationship with God.  I suppose when you give more of yourself, you'll receive more of God.  Through prayer and reflection, you'll be able to understand things that you might not have heard before.  Perhaps you'll hear God better.  Just because we can't physically see God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit doesn't mean that the Trinity isn't among us or within us.  God didn't just create us and abandon us.  He has always been here waiting for us.
Prayer can be a powerful thing if you let it be.  The more time you devote to prayer, even if it's before bed time or in the morning, will draw you closer to God.  You don't have to know memorized prayers, either.  Just talk to God, that's more genuine.

I wasn't sure where I was going with this, but that's all I have.

I haven't updated this since February. I've been so distracted. It's not like there's been much movement in my life so I don't know why I haven't posted.

One thing that I've been thinking a lot about lately is what does God want me to do with my life? What is God's will for me? I'm not sure if it's just that I'm 22 and most people my age graduate college this year and I feel like I haven't done anything with myself, or maybe it's the Holy Spirit working through me and waking me up. 

We all have gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, right judgement, courage, knowledge, reverence, and wonder and awe in God's presence), but we have many fruits that come from them. Just because we receive these gifts doesn't make us perfect. We need to learn about, strengthen (through our actions), and encourage them.  What need to ask ourselves what are my strengths?  Right judgement?  Courage?  Reverence?  What comes naturally to me?  Joy?  Modesty?  Kindness?  What do I need to work on?  Patience?  Understanding?  Awe?  Not everybody is the same, so we naturally excel in different areas.

Perhaps if we improve our actions and behavior, that'll help us see what we're good at?  Like volunterring for instance.  Doing something outside of what we normally do might strengthen the fruits and gifts we might not even know that we have.  Plus, charity/love is a spirtual gift so why wouldn't you want to strengthen that?  If you feel like you're not that knowledgeable, try looking stuff up and ask questions.  If you feel like you're not awestruck by God, try reflecting about the wonderful things God has given you, like fun memories, amazing experiences and people, and nature.  Prayer is another way of encouraging these gifts.  Maybe through reflection and prayer, you'll let God guide you and help strengthen these things.  Regarding actions, spending time with people who encourage you to explore these things will definitely help.

Ultimately, I think strengthening our spiritual gifts will help us see how God wants to use us.

Yesterday, I had to give a talk about forgiveness at the confirmation retreat. They didn't tell me what context they wanted it in, so I had to make it all up on my own. This is what I came up with:

I have to say that I chose this talk because I can definitely relate to the topic. I definitely struggle with forgiveness. I always thought I was a very forgiving and compassionate person and I am- but up until a certain point. I realized that it was affecting my relationship with God because I felt like He was telling me to do certain things and I didn’t want to do them. It started to affect the way I prayed. I’d keep a mental checklist of people who I’d pray for, but I’d try to erase the ones that would jump on there last minute. I didn’t think those people deserved my prayers. That was one of many things that was not getting me closer to God. So, I want to let you know what I’ve come to learn about this subject.

We all know what it’s like not to be forgiven. Think about a time, whether it was amongst your friends, family, co-workers, or sports team, where you made a mistake; you weren’t thinking clearly, you screwed up, and that person never forgave you. How did you feel? Hurt? Guilty? Maybe it was unbearable at times? It hurts no matter what. Whether what you did was big or small.
I’ll always remember this one time in the third grade. I was in Ms. Totaro-Sidhu’s class at the Hosmer School. I was at recess and wanted to use the monkey bars. Everyone always wanted to use the monkey bars so I hardly ever used them. They were connected to the structure and went downwards. This one time, I saw that they were free, so I starting walking over there but these girls got there before me. They were just fooling around at the bottom of the monkey bars- climbing up backwards and showing off their gymnastic skills. I stood at the start of the bars and I told them that I wanted to use it. This one girl didn’t want to get off and she was still fooling around at the bottom trying to climb up backwards and I, finally, told her that I was coming down whether she liked it or not. Somehow, before I even got anywhere near her, she fell off the monkey bars and ended up going to the nurse. We later found out that she broke her arm and when she eventually, came back to school a couple days later, she blamed me! Not only that, but she had the whole class thinking it was my fault as well! I could not believe it! I remember that she had a pink cast because it was the first time I ever saw a pink one. She brought a Sharpie to class and she had people signing it. I really wanted to sign it, but she wouldn‘t let me.
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For Lent, I decided I'd try to go Mass every day, except for Saturday because of my work schedule. I went Friday morning to start it off. I woke up this morning at 6:15 or so, so hopefully I'll fall asleep early and won't be too tired to wake up tomorrow. I, also, decided that I would stop being lazy on making lessons for my Sunday school class. Even though the kids can be unbearable at times, they deserve good lessons.

Romans 13:8-10

Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "You shall not commit adultery; you shall not kill; you shall not steal; you shall not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this saying, (namely) "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence, love is the fulfillment of the law.

Love one another as yourself. Man, that's hard to do! How am I suppose to love everyone as myself?? It seems like we always try to justify being rude and mean to people when really we should be nice and show them love. At work, when customers come in and push my buttons, I really would love to say something to them but I don't, of course, since Starbucks doesn't want me to and also, because it's the right thing to do. It's so hard and aggrevating to just stand there and deal with customers sometimes. As Jesus taught us, we need to love one another and that's what we need to strive for.

2 Timothy 1:6-7
For this reason, I remind you to stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition of my hands.
For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control.

Psalms
Chapter 27
1 Of David 1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom do I fear? The LORD is my life's refuge; of whom am I afraid?
2 When evildoers come at me to devour my flesh, These my enemies and foes themselves stumble and fall.
3 Though an army encamp against me, my heart does not fear; Though war be waged against me, even then do I trust.
4 One thing I ask of the LORD; this I seek: To dwell in the LORD'S house all the days of my life, To gaze on the LORD'S beauty, to visit his temple.
5 For God will hide me in his shelter in time of trouble, Will conceal me in the cover of his tent; and set me high upon a rock.
6 Even now my head is held high above my enemies on every side! I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and chant praise to the LORD.
7 I Hear my voice, LORD, when I call; have mercy on me and answer me.
8 "Come," says my heart, "seek God's face"; your face, LORD, do I seek!
9 Do not hide your face from me; do not repel your servant in anger. You are my help; do not cast me off; do not forsake me, God my savior!
10 Even if my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will take me in.
11 LORD, show me your way; lead me on a level path because of my enemies.
12 Do not abandon me to the will of my foes; malicious and lying witnesses have risen against me.
13 But I believe I shall enjoy the LORD'S goodness in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD, take courage; be stouthearted, wait for the LORD!

And the P.O.D. song that is obviously about this psalm:
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This song is so awesome! I downloaded the song so I want to buy the album now, but that's one the song that I really like off of that album. Maybe I can buy the CD used somewhere.

Day by day, dear Lord of you
Three things I pray:
To see you more clearly,
To love you more dearly,
To follow you more nearly,
Day by day.


St. Richard of Chichester

Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

I was over my aunt's house the other day and she was telling me about how she had to give a small talk at church about the sacrament of anointing of the sick and some kids wanted to know about suffering. One thing that stood out to me was that she said Jesus knows what it's like to suffer. So, if we're feeling incredibly sick, in pain, having a bad day or even an embarrassing day; the ones where you cringe and want to lock yourself in your bedroom and never come and you think that you can't go on, turn to Christ because he suffered for us. He knows what suffering is and he wants us to turn to him. He wants us to put all of our pain, anguish, fears, discomforts, etc. in Him.


I pulled out my student Bible and looked up suffering in the topical index and there'll be little blurbs on some of the pages and this one said:

"Suffering seems senseless. It hurts. But it's a fact of life. We can hate it, rebel against it, reject it, or try to kill it. Or we can accept it, try to understand it, seek peace in it, and even learn to be happy with it. For a nonbeliever there's no hope or real explanation for suffering. For Christians, we can rejoice with Jesus because, in suffering, we are sharing intimately in his life. Each pain, each accident, each dilemma is a chance to turn away from or toward Christ. Do we choose to bring Christ into our suffering?"

Colossians 1:24 goes along with it:
"Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church."

And if that's too much to understand, 1 Peter 5:7 & 10 says it all:
Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you.
The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ (Jesus) will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little.