Is admiting half the battle?
Perhaps just realizing you have things to deal with is a huge step. I didn't want to seek help. I wanted to do the turtle thing and hide in my shell until the storm passed. Only it kept getting worse until it was almost too late.
Friday June 17th I was truly ready to end the pain. I'd lost touch w/ reality and wanted a permanent solution to temporary problems. At that precise moment, I didn't think I was worthy to breathe the same air as anyone else. I really thought leaving them would be my gift to them. Then they wouldn't have to deal w/ me anymore.
Don't want to go into details. If you want to read about it in my regular journal, comment on a public post and I'll add you. It's the June 24th entry.
My focus here is my SO freaked. Especially when I was breaking every glass dish I could get my hands on while on the phone w/ him. He's fortunate never to battle this demon. For that, I am thankful. But he can't relate. I have already went to one therapy session. She said I was backed into a corner and had no safety net.
We need to be there for each other. You can never have a big enough, nor strong enough safety net.
Commandments For Healing
1. We must be responsible and accountable for our own behavior.
2. There is ZERO tolerance for violence as a solution to conflict.
3. We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves.
4. We should express our feelings directly, without minimization, denial and blame.
5. We must be aware of physiological cues, our use of positive or negative self-talk, irrational beliefs, and our emotions. All of these can impede or improve our progress and development.
6. Time out, deep breaths, counting to ten, cool-down, changing locations are always acceptable and should be used in place of "stinkin thinkin." Cool-down, but DON'T walk away.
7. The past is over and done with; we cannot change it, but we can change the present and the future.
8. To be totally unselfish is unhealthy;; we become passive and deny our needs and wants. To be totally selfish is unhealthy; we deny the rights of others and prevent others from having happiness in their lives.
9. Counselors cannot "fix it." They cannot make people change. Only people can choose to change. Only people can choose to be happy. Counselors can only offer support, guidance and encouragement.
10. We always have a choice. We can choose to change. We can choose happiness. We don't have to stay in denial.
Friday June 17th I was truly ready to end the pain. I'd lost touch w/ reality and wanted a permanent solution to temporary problems. At that precise moment, I didn't think I was worthy to breathe the same air as anyone else. I really thought leaving them would be my gift to them. Then they wouldn't have to deal w/ me anymore.
Don't want to go into details. If you want to read about it in my regular journal, comment on a public post and I'll add you. It's the June 24th entry.
My focus here is my SO freaked. Especially when I was breaking every glass dish I could get my hands on while on the phone w/ him. He's fortunate never to battle this demon. For that, I am thankful. But he can't relate. I have already went to one therapy session. She said I was backed into a corner and had no safety net.
We need to be there for each other. You can never have a big enough, nor strong enough safety net.
Commandments For Healing
1. We must be responsible and accountable for our own behavior.
2. There is ZERO tolerance for violence as a solution to conflict.
3. We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves.
4. We should express our feelings directly, without minimization, denial and blame.
5. We must be aware of physiological cues, our use of positive or negative self-talk, irrational beliefs, and our emotions. All of these can impede or improve our progress and development.
6. Time out, deep breaths, counting to ten, cool-down, changing locations are always acceptable and should be used in place of "stinkin thinkin." Cool-down, but DON'T walk away.
7. The past is over and done with; we cannot change it, but we can change the present and the future.
8. To be totally unselfish is unhealthy;; we become passive and deny our needs and wants. To be totally selfish is unhealthy; we deny the rights of others and prevent others from having happiness in their lives.
9. Counselors cannot "fix it." They cannot make people change. Only people can choose to change. Only people can choose to be happy. Counselors can only offer support, guidance and encouragement.
10. We always have a choice. We can choose to change. We can choose happiness. We don't have to stay in denial.
