....So

I know I don't post hardly EVER to this community, but don't think I don't read. Believe me, I feel like almost all of everyone's entries could be a snapshot of my own 'eating issues'.

But anyway - what I really want your opinions/thoughts on is finishing college, starting full-time work; how do you deal with your ED?

I won't lie; this time last year, I was in utter college hell writing up numerous assignments, sooo stressed I was going into 'eat everything in sight' mode. And it thoroughly sucked. I felt like a complete fuck up - so weak I couldn't keep up with my usual restriction.

I'm 5"8 and I guess (in relation to how my clothes fit) I am 126-130 pounds. The highest I've ever weighed is 154 pounds (fuck and I was 'happy'). The lowest (that I know of) is 110 pounds.

The more stressed I get, the less I wanna eat. But I've gotten myself into the situation where I've got a stressful fulltime job. I know I need the fuel to work, but I feel the 'control' issues creeping back again.

I basically feel like the biggest fuck-up ever, and I'm completely way over my head in the job I've got...

How do you guys cope? For me it could go either way; and I'm completely scared I'll slip into my 'hardcore' restriction and over exercise routine. And end up ultimately into a psychiatric ward. Fuck. I'm only 23 but yeah - eating issues just ain't 'cute' anymore when you're a legit 'adult'.