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Colby Liam Knight

"You said we had it pretty much perfect, then you told me that you loved me."

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Created on 2017-08-13 12:34:37 (#3264429), last updated 2017-08-13 (479 weeks ago)

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About

Name:	Colby Liam Knight
Birthdate:	Dec 8
Location:	New York, United States
Website:	@ dreamlikenewyork

Mini Bio

Colby Liam Knight was born and raised in Savannah, Georgia to a politican - who would eventually become Mayor of the town - and his school teacher wife. He was the youngest child of three, following two older sisters. Each sibling was almost exactly three years apart, probably planned right down to the second to fit in around their father's political commitments. They raised their kids rather strictly, all being taught they had to excel at school, regardless. Bad grades were not an option and if they got anything less than As, they would have to find a way to pay for college themselves because their parents weren't forking out for wasted schooling.

Growing up in the Deep South, both parents were absolutely against homosexuality. Everyone Colby knew pretty much was. Not only that, it just wasn't something that was talked about, so he never knew any gay people. Eventually, once he grew up and escaped the Bible Belt, he would realise that just because he didn't know of any gay people, didn't mean he didn't know any. In fact, it would turn out not only was one directly in his life as one of the most important people in the world to him, but he would end up being gay himself.

Colby's best friend since they were toddlers was Zoran Duval and they were so close, they could have been brothers. Hell knew Colby had nothing in common with his own siblings beyond the fact both him and his brother were expected to go to Medical School, and his sister either Nursing School or Education like their mother. He and Zoran were inseparable, and everything was pretty easy when they were really young. They knew each other because their families lived two houses down from each other and went to the same church. Everything was 'normal' until Zoran's dad lost his job and started drinking heavily. Colby tried to help his BFF the best he could through that, but something began to change in Zoran that he wouldn't know the full extent of for some time when things took a terrible turn. They began to get closer and soon, Zoran was confessing to Colby that he thought he had feelings for him - 'gay feelings'. Colby knew how hard that was for Zoran to admit to, and as soon as he did, it dawned on him that maybe he felt the same. He wasn't sure, but it felt like something was different now. That would haunt him for many years to come when everything crashed and burned.

Zoran made the mistake of one night inviting Colby over where they went to his room and closed the door. His dad had been drunk, and Zoran was oblivious to the fact he was noticing anything. That night, Zoran and Colby slept together for the first time and it was one of the most amazing experiences of Zoran's life. But after that, everything went downhill very quickly. The next morning, his father cornered him and asked him if he was a fag. On the spot, scared, Zoran shakily admitted that he thought he might be. Only to have the shit beaten out of him by his dad, who told him over and over again that he was going to 'beat the fag out of him' and that 'no son of his was a poof'.

Zoran went online and left a long email for Colby, telling him what happened. But never got a response to it. It was just days later that Zoran was walking home from the lake and he passed Colby... walking down the street holding hands with a girl. It was like Zoran didn't even exist. Zoran was confused, lost, and didn't know what the hell was going all. All he knew was that it hurt like hell, and he didn't know how to stop any of it. He started to let his dad just believe he had succeeded in beating the shit out of him. He told him he was interested in a girl at school, figuring if Colby could do it, so could he. It was all a lie.

Meanwhile, Colby was running scared. Not just from the fear that Zoran's father would hunt him down and kill him, but the fear of what might happened if his parents found out he was gay... even if he wasn't sure himself. He really did try to get back to 'normal'. He dated a chick, but felt nothing, despite trying to force it. When that didn't work, he went to his father in tears one night and confessed he had sex with a boy. The worst thing he could have done was tell him it was Zoran, but he did, thinking his dad might understand the mistake if it was a friend. It didn't work like that. Not only did his father forbid him from seeing Zoran again, but sent him away to Conversion Camp to try to rid the homosexuality from him.

It didn't work. All it did was make him miss Zoran so much, he felt physically ill every time he thought about him. If anything, the horrible camp made him believe he was more gay than ever and he began to resent every single person in his family. That would only get worse when he arrived back to Savannah to be told Zoran had committed suicide. It was the worst night of Colby's life, and he came very close to doing the same. He had a razor to his wrists. But he had never been as strong as Zoran, he didn't have the courage to do what he did. For a along time, he became something akin to a zombie, locked in a grief he couldn't exhibit. He went through the motions and school was the only thing to distraction him from what he was feeling. He got the A grades. He went to Med School. He never stopped thinking about Zoran.

His first Residency was at a hospital in New York. Somehow, he made it through college when some days, his lingering grief made it difficult to get out of bed. He never dated anyone else, even if he knew now for sure he was gay. As soon as he graduated, he cut all ties with his parents and sent them a long letter telling him he hated them for what they did and would never forgive them for being the homophobic cunts they were when he needed help, not exorcising the fag out of him. It was a horrible time of his life. Work gave him the distraction he needed. He made new friends, but none of them would ever be Zoran.

Then one night, he went to a bar to listen to a band with some pals from work. The band was rock, not really his thing. He was going to have a few drinks and then make some excuse about not feeling well and leaving. Then he looked up at the dark-haired, heavily inked singer and made eye contact - right into eyes he would never, ever forget.

Zoran's.

What happened them was a slippery descent into a terrible reveal. After some wheedling, he talked his way backstage to find the guy. It had to be Zoran. Zoran in a very clever disguise Colby would never have identified if it wasn't for the eyes. What he would learn about Zoran, he could never have anticipated. It was terrible. Zoran wanted nothing to do with him, absolutely hating him for abandoning their friendship all those years ago. Colby kept trying to push, and what was soon revealed was that Zoran never died by suicide. He was forced to fake his own death to enter Witness Protection when he saw his father murdering a prostitute. Zoran was given a new persona, Zed Blaze, where he was shipped away as another face in the biggest city in the world, given a new identity, a new life, a new family. He eventually found his feet with the world, but he never recovered from what had happened.

Even worse, Colby would soon learn, Zoran was a messed up guy from what happened and he was to blame in a significant way. If he never cut Zoran off, none of this horrific shit would have happened to him. He could have spared Zoran from the whole thing. Soon, when news came that Zoran's father had died, more shit began to come to light and Colby knew he would never really know the full story. He just felt caught up in a whirlwind of confusing emotion where, at the cruz of it all, he knew he still loved Zoran. At the time of his death, Zoran's father was revealed to have been riddled with AIDS and alcoholic dementia. Via a letter Zoran discovered from his dad, he learned he had been gay himself and the reason for his alcoholism was being forced to live a lie his whole life. He never wanted his son to face the same fate, but the alcohol turned him into a violent monster... one that forced Zoran to kill his father in self-defence when he went back to Savannah to try to help him.

It was too much - again - for Colby to cope with. Rather than staying and trying to deal, he ran away. Not back to Savannah, but to California to stay with a friend he met in Med School. For the second time in his life, he knew he failed the only person he had ever loved and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't leave it like that. After having a patient in his care with a terribly tragic life himself, Cruz Quinlan, a rock musician just like Zoran, but a massively famous one, Colby realised he couldn't continue his life like this. Especially not when he realised Cruz's partner, Hunter Alexander, personally knew Zoran. Soon, he found himself quitting his job in California and boarding a plane back to New York. This time, he wasn't ever going to run away from Zoran again.