though i'll be real it feels like i've been here forever. it's kinda nutty how comfortable dreamwidth is and i kinda wish i got into the whole LJ/DW scene earlier than just this year
oh well, i'm here now and genuinely just happy to have this place and have met some cool people thru it ... but having a place where i can write and so easily control who and what can be seen has done wonders to my brain to ingrain this as a place that i like returning to
my journals #myjournals
i finally got one of those embedded guestbooks made from javascript to work on my little site, i've been wanting one for a long while (cause last time i did it was when i first began my actual main site, and it wouldn't let me do it as a non-supporter)
now that i have supporter i thought it'd be nice to actually do a proper guestbook this time (and i got in bechnokid's calendar, but i cannot be assed to do css prettying up right now)
(also that's my bongo cat bahaha, i got a halloween outfit for now)
... i am horribly cursed with overthinking it!!!! i want icons that encompass a mood, but i also just want pretty icons, but i also want them to be consistently themed, but--
can you see my dilemma?!?!?!? i know with premium i can just upload whatever icons but i also don't wanna upload icons that i end up never using
AUGH explodes into glitter dust
some of it is my brain falling back on a desire to organize when exhausted, but i wish there was a booru style organizer app where you can plop in links, images, standalone text, and anything you want and just tag it with… tags
i want tumblr in an app basically LOL
i have a bookmark manager in raindrop.io, but it doesn’t allow like… me to put in just an image i like and maybe a link to where i found it. or a singular note with a quote
maybe it’s an impossibility that something like that exists somewhere. it’d be nice and a dream to have something where i can conglomerate everything without worry of something like tumblr exploding and me losing all of my tagged items
(probably obsidian could be kitted out to do that but ehhh. i’d have to do my research and im relunctant to bundle it into my existing vault)
edit: ok i'm likeeee trying out karakeep as a self-hosted instance cause it's free that way, and maybe keep raindrop.io as an inbox...??? ill see how it feels cause i need time to actually dink with it and migrate some of my existing bookmarks over. like someone on reddit said:
I just call Karakeep my ADHD vault because I put stuff in there that looks interesting and never look at it again.
tbf it was originally named hoarder. and hoarding links and cool pictures makes me happy. so, win win if it works out
( artwork )
lavender is a blessing cause they've drawn a handful of my blorbos for ychs........ and she's made my rentry layout too!!! tho i think that's retired now
i gotta... make more icons to use, i'm just so used to making them have an Emotion tied to it
i've been trying to make lil snippets of plans of things i wanna do on the weekend while im at work, to try to capture them before they delete themselves from my brain
and what i wanna do this weekend sorely is
... nothing fancy but im trying to not like. explode my brain, but also not feel like i do nothing each weekend or get irritated that i forget what i wanted to do :sob:
damn, i wasn’t active on it but i still had a subscription to support them in some way cause i know sites can be a Lot… man. i know sites need a lot of support and infrastructure and costs going into that and reading thru with the burnout associated with it… :(
rip pillowfort, you were a good one and i know many people loved you… i gotta see if i can find some more oomfs in other places/if they move to dreamwidth :(
now that i'm hosting two personal sites, i'm torn on what i wanna keep on the big site, what's on the little site, and what can be mirrored on both ...
big site
little site
both
... augh, i'll have to ponder on this. i could also just keep main site hosting what is already being hosted, but then the little site will just feel like it's just There if i don't add to it. like i do enjoy a much slower feed on the little cause it lets me actually keep up better than the hundred of people i am following on my main site. i also dont mind shutting down pages on my main site to migrate to the little site (ex listfauxgraphy), or having mirrors of certain pages, but i also don't like it being split either in certain areas
BLARGH... i'll hammer it out as i work through it, right now the little site is just as a canvas to try out new things like an actual guestbook that's not reliant on something like atabook, and to try a new layout, and to begin from zero to keep things a lil more organized (not that my main site isn't after literally gutting it to remake in 11ty, but still it is a Big Site so it's having to migrate entire things like my bookmarks, neighbours, etc etc into JSON datasheets sucked balls when you have tens up to hundreds of items to go thru)
i feel like i've been at a baseline functioning. i've been working on my new website at least, though i'm terribly stumped on the index layout cause w/o a 3 column layout like my main site, it's harder to squeeze in doodads without it looking ... off to my eyeballs (plus it's much wider). i'm sure i'll find a layout i like but i think i'll just have to give up some doodads and leave them on my main site only LOL
i did make a board page of 'me' images even tho it's just the same i have on my site
aside from that uh... god what have i even been doing ... art for my friend's books, editing, and mostly playing warframe + watching the bleach thousand year arc finally (on season 2!! bless my friend for sitting thru it with me, she doesn't care at all for it LMFAO). i also installed sims 2 though i feel like that'll be an extremely on and off game i play (i sorely need a mod for better bed claiming, like why the fuck are u guys sleeping in the wrong beds!!!!)
it sucks now that with a job i have a lot less to talk about :( most of my rambling is isolated to my own physical journal (plus it's harder to type for a long time on the job without being too Aware, i don't wanna stay on my phone more than 2-3 minutes), or to my thoughts.page, or to the on-off tumblr posts. it is what it is LOL
on a good note i've passed 120 pages in my journal!!! i'm buying a new set of stickers to decorate the inside + a carrying case to consolidate some of the loose crap in my work backpack (i carry a toothbrush set with me, and some other loose things like my earbuds etc). i've also got some sylvie commissions in the work i'm very excited about. ... i also realize i dunno where i'm gonna store my notebooks when i DO finish them. new issue to handle LOL... i'm inspired by ppl who have been journaling for years and archiving their journals
aw shit speaking of i need to finish the moonchase event story going on AUGH
edit: ok i wasn't far. that ending cutscene got some tears out of me. thank u for the grandpa zhongli food
ok ok ok ok i think i'm starting to get into a layout i'm liking ... or rather css decos??? i guess it's kinda leaning into some weird neumorphic looks ... neumorphism? i gotta figure out spacing items ... i'm still dinking, but neocities is combusted rn (maintenance) so i can't push anything. i'm also stupidly tired rn so i think i'll crash after my call is over
i do wonder if it's readable enough for the buttons or too blended in ... kinda weird cause the previewer in phoenix code shows the borders a lot brighter than it does in firefox (and i disabled dark mode)
edit: ok, i separated the bevels into their own css variables so i can control those, and i got a lil 'press' effect going on when you hold the click ... obviously you will only see it if you HOLD the button but i rlly like it...
this is very loose and casual cause my memories are rough for remembering the month bahaha
dramatic title but more like. i’m pondering if i should make my personal site theme still sylvie—im not really hiding that it’s Me so it’s why i don’t mind doing it as sylvie/green themed there, but it also makes me think like…
what would i even theme myself around if not my oc? i don’t feel a drive to theme it around anything. maybe dragons, it’s why one space is like that … but like, thinking abt it, i’ve never themed anything i’ve made that wasn’t like. oc based
all my deviantart layouts were very fandom/oc themed, all my tumblr blogs were oc themed (some obviously bc they were roleplay blogs), my avatars are usually my focused oc blorbo…
it’s cause like. some part of me wants to try a different theme for my new site but i also don’t feel connection to it if it’s not sylvie themed/i don’t feel as joyful over it—but like my brain also wants something new?!?!?!?!
AUGH combusts into a pile of goo. conundrum where i’ll probably just stick to sylvie and green
one of the problems is now having a new site is that—ok autocorrect said ‘new wife’ like sylvie is my wife, moving on (zhongli is coming to kill me)
anyway what i meant to say is the woes of a new site is i have no idea what to do for a layout. now that im not beholden to feeling sad that im ditching an existing layout, im drawing the biggest fucking blank where to even begin with a layout… and so i may have to go site diving
i dunno if i wanna do boxy, completely open with no containers, sidebar navigation, blah blah blah and i’m like FUCKKKK cursed to hate a giant box of possibilities, cursed to love changing things up
bah i posted about this on tumblr too but i'm genuinely blanking out on what i want to get for my birthday (aside from buying sylvie art which is a Given). or rather i do have a wishlist of items i want to get but it's like
... like the only real things i'm pondering is like ... ?? a new ipad case w/a keyboard to make it easier to use my ipad like a Desktop (kinda) but i also don't use my ipad too terribly often ...
i was looking through custom nendroids, but it's a bit dizzying to find people who do custom ones (i do have one bookmarked for years now on etsy) BUT the issue is all the custom ones are Big Dolls vs the standard nendroids you can buy (tiny and w/o articulated limbs) so even if i got one of sylvie, they'd still be bigger than the zhongli nendo i have :(
it sounds so stupid to have this be an issue LOOOL. i have two months to think it over anyway but it's weird to just have the money and opportunity to get stuff now but not ... want anything rlly strongly that isn't art...??? or rather there's weird barriers like space keeping me from getting it. or it's stupid expensive (switch 2, but i also don't want to support nintendo's kinda garbage practices)
it sucks being so ready to sleep by midnight when i was so used to sleeping at 2am... and it sucks that my social battery is almost always drained bc of work!! i miss replying more frequently to stuff or mustering up the energy to comment on posts ... even my bookmark posts have slowed down bc of work...!!!
i do have some links saved which i just need to compile into a post w/my thoughts but auhghhgh o|<
i've shifted to realize i need even MORE mindless games and ones that don't have like a. time limit. roblox dragon adventures is immensely mindless and relaxing, but the daily chest grind takes like 30 minutes. sometimes i can't muster up enough brain energy to sit for 30 minutes. warframe is mindless, but also is dependent on the people with you and still requires some focus
i picked up insaniqarium again cause im SO glad that it can be paused mid-level and the progress is saved. muse dash and melody's escape, albeit rhythm games, are just dependent on a song length. problem is i get too into those but that's better than no game at all bahaha
either way more just food for thought. wild that its been almost a month/has been a month since i've began work. i still feel like im adjusting
im watching the thousand year blood war anime and my god LMAO it's more like. god im always so. i grew up on the manga, i still think it'd be awesome if it ended after the aizen arc, or even the fullbringer stuff but like
head in hands. the whole thousand year blood war arc feels like a mess. im taking psychic dmg. i mean this in both the most fond and derogatory way. i would love to read the light novels some day still. i hate this
LMFAOOO AUAHDHASHDSH LIKE. IM REREADING THE MANGA RN ANYWAY but the world got SO FUCKING CONVOLUTED LATER ON like genuinely i wonder if kubo was even thinking abt the whole 'yeah there's a god who was split apart and made the 3 realms and is basically being kept imprisoned and oh yeah he apparently had a son lol' when he was writing this shit
i'd actually love to try out dual booting for linux to try to tear myself away a lil more from windows. i know some stuff i'll have to do on windows itself (capcut video editing, clip studio stuff) but i'd love to actually?!?!?! try to make linux a daily driver for like ... browsing online, playing some games (esp if steam is doing the whole proton stuff?), obsidian writing and what not
... but it's still a little scary. i kinda wish i did it from the beginning when i got this new laptop, but alas. esp since my primary partition for windows is a bit chunked up with programs that are installed there and i'm overthinking what pieces are lost in the localData sauce (I HATE APPS THAT INSTALL THEMSELVES THERE WHYYYYY U SUCK U SUCK!!!!!!!)
i dont have the courage to move fully to linux, but i think dual booting would be the safest way to explore linux in a way where i can try out things i use w/o harming anything
so far i'm leaning to linux mint, kubuntu and ... i already am familiar with mx linux but it's not super high
i really like kubuntu's customization options + i'm already used to dolphin because of steamdeck
bro i’m actually torn on who i’d pick for the genshin limited character for anniversary cause i have none of these characters actually LOL
like my highest list rn is like
funny cause my friend i play with has basically everyone from here so it’s like 💀💀💀 (aside from chiori which… i already have so many geo characters LOL funny that i have her sig wep but it’s with al haitham)
baizhu is cool but yaoyao carries my dendro healing already, chlorinde is cool but i already have raiden ei and yae for electro dmg (still very tempting)
childe i’d pick up only because he’s mutual associated from the tumblr rpc LOOOL
i dunno i’m just having a moment of reflection of being happy for the places i have to talk to people—here, treefort, neocities… i dunno, im just happy there are people i’ve connected with, where we all flow at our own paces but brush along each other, and can see each other’s journey as we swim along
i’m happy for the sites i’ve found to help organize my brain, inspirations for other people how they do things, etc etc—and either see people i know there already, or joining me too
it’s not like i’ve never been in a community most of my life, ive shifted between the tumblr rpc, online art communities, and game communities—it’s more moments that im just thankful i feel in a place where there’s a lot of people i do see and talk to
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zvi
