Mother's Day
Mother’s Day is the 8th and I’ve been looking toward this day with great fear and apprehension. This was supposed to be my first Mother’s Day as a mother, with my baby in my arms. But she instead went strait to heaven and, although I am blessed with this second child growing in me now, I don’t exactly know where I fit on Mother’s Day.
I’m scared that when I show up to our family Mother’s Day breakfast no one will acknowledge that I too am a mother. Or that they’ll only send me Mother’s Day greetings because I am pregnant but not because I had a daughter.
I talked to my husband and it turns out that he doesn’t think of me as a mother nor himself as a father because we don’t have a baby. He asked me “What makes someone a mom?”
I asked him that if him and his brother died wouldn’t his mom still be a mom and he said she would but that it’s different. Why is that different? Why don’t I get the title of mom? It’s like I’m being punished because my child wasn’t meant to live on this Earth. So I thought about it... what makes a mother?
Is it the amount of love that you give? No, that can’t be it because I love my daughter in heaven and my son in belly more than my own life. Motherhood can’t be given to someone simply because they love their child. There are women in this world that have killed their own children on purpose but they are still called mothers.
Are you a mother because you physically gave birth to a child? No, that can’t be it either because people adopt children that aren’t their flesh and bone but they are still parents.
So what is it? Why can’t I be a mother and be acknowledged on Mother’s Day not only for the child that is in me now but for the child I already had. I carried my daughter for 31 weeks through a very complicated pregnancy and then she died and I still had to go through an awful labor and delivery. I went through more in my short 31 weeks with my daughter than many people go through in the first several years with their children.
I found this poem:
WHAT MAKES A MOTHER
-- author unknown
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say.
"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"
"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this
God I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.
"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say...
'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'
"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!"
So for all of you out there: Happy Mother’s Day, from one mother to the next. Whether you have children (no matter how you got them), have ever been pregnant (no matter how long that time lasted), or are pregnant now, you deserve Mother’s Day and a whole lot more.
nauseated
confused
