Thinking Too Hard and Running With Scissors

He says he screamed and cried for two years, for me to show him that he mattered to me.

He says we've done everything my way.

He says he's given me everything I wanted and asked for, and that I do nothing he asks.

He says I'm the coldest person he knows, and that all this is why I'm alone. He says I have no empathy at all.

I guess it's a good thing I like being alone.

I'm so tired of being the reason he's hurting, when all I'm really trying to do is just exist. Exist, find my truth, heal from past traumas, and be happy. I don't want to hurt him, and I never have - I just don't seem capable of being the kind of partner he wants me to be or that he needs - and I've hurt him so badly he doesn't even want to be friends.

It just hurts all the way around and seems like nothing will ever feel right again.