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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Bracing Walls' LiveJournal:

Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
10:32 pm
[childeofloki]
Floating in chaos
On the winds of apathy
Gliding through waters
Of my mind, torn asunder
Lost in the forest
Of a world with no hope
And I have to wonder
Is there life before death?
In a world so cold
And so full of hatred
What is the point
Of searching for light?
No matter where it goes
How fast or how far
Light always arrives
To a flood of dispair
For darkness has
Gotten there first.

(Shed feeble light)

Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
12:03 pm
[childeofloki]
Light, like carved silver, slashed the cathedral's gloom, slanted across the crouching grey
pillars, splintered off brass and paint, drowned the votive candles that burned before the
statues, inched it's way over the broad, worn flagstones as the sun moved higher. A novice,
lost in the depths of the choir, mumbled beyond the window light. The messenger sighed.
Sir Kerith's heels clicked on the flagstone floor, as he walked from behind a pillar, blinking
in the sunlight. His short, barrel like frame sent shadows playing on the floor, and his swarthy
face screwed up in a grimace. "Where is he?" he asked yet again, and disappeared, back behind
the pillar.
Damn, thought Sir Kerith, damn and a thousand bloody deaths.
Damn the Ebony Shields, damn the reports, damn the messenger, damn the bloody Chaos, and damn
his Commander, who was likely still in bed. Kerith, a Knight of the esteemed Order of the
Ivory Shield, wished heartely that he had stayed in bed, under the sheets, and next to the warm
body of his latest mistress, a pretty little thing from a nearby village.
He glanced at the messenger, a member of the Ebony Shields, a member who should be locked in
chains, an outlaw. But he had come under the Flag of Oath, so, by honour, they could do nothing
to him. Looking at the hard bitten soldier, scarred, and grim faced, Sir Kerith decided that
he wouldn't want to challenge him anyway. His eyes nervously flicked to the wrapped form on the
ground, half expecting it to jump out of death and scream, reaching out with one armoured claw
to tear...
"Sir..?"
Kerith's thoughts were interrupted by a novice who nervously approached.
"Sir? Lord Anadiel will see you now."
"Lossow," he demanded. "Come with me."
The knight did not move, but instead looked at Kerith, his face a mask.
"That is Sir Lossow," he said, in a quiet voice. Then moved to follow, dragging the Chaos
soldier's corpse behind him, wrapped in heavy cloth.
They were intercepted part way in, by a flustered priest who demanded they put the felt slippers
over their armoured boots before proceeding further into the cathedral. The Commander's office
was set in an alcove in the back of the centuries old building, his doors guarded by two knights,
resplendent in their burnished white armour with gold tracings, and pristine white capes and
surcoats.
Sir Lossow walked by them with not so much as a glance, his black and silver armour shimmered
almost defiantly in the presence of the Ivory Shields. He dragged the corpse up, and
unceremoniously slammed it against the desk, it's head propped ontop of the table, fangs showing
through the metal face gaurd.
Lord Anadiel looked up from a paper he had been reading, his face indignant. He was plump, his
face splotched by purple lines, the sign of a heavy drinker.
"What is the meaning of this?" He demanded, his voice shrill.

.......

To Be Continued....

Current Mood: content

(Shed feeble light)

Monday, November 29th, 2004
2:03 am
[childeofloki]
I miss Chrystal.
I miss having love, being in love, and having love returned.
I miss Belle, and the hope we shared.
I miss the good things in life.
I miss being missed.

(1 Torn Shadow |Shed feeble light)

Monday, November 8th, 2004
1:35 am
[childeofloki]
Apathy is a truely interesting emotion. It is not truly an emotion, though it brings the other emotions into stark relief just before complete system shutdown. It grabs anger, hatred, sadness, joy, relief, rapture, love, and all the others in it's fist, and brings them into the revealing light of reason that one may more closely inspect them. For me, they are judged, and found wanting. You can then discard them, feeling, nay, knowing that they are a destructive force in what's left of your life.
One becomes very introspective at this point.
Unfortunatley, one has nothing worth pondering anymore.
Worldly matters become pointless. Even.. distasteful. Emotional matters are feared and avoided, since one does not want anything to do with something that might invade and destroy the silent serenity that has enveloped.
One is left in a void created by chaos, and order, all at the same time.
An interesting state of being, indeed.

(Shed feeble light)

Thursday, April 1st, 2004
3:44 pm
[sdrohc_ratiug]
I want to go home.

Current Mood: despairing

(Shed feeble light)

Friday, February 7th, 2003
4:02 pm
[sdrohc_ratiug]

(1 Torn Shadow |Shed feeble light)

Wednesday, September 4th, 2002
9:08 pm
[soul_incognito]
thought factory
I sit here holding a million wild thoughts running through my head. I couldn't point to the beginning and I couldn't find an end to them all. We all have such vast extensions of our minds as though it could never hold too many thoughts. But then again...is that what we call "burnout"? All I know now is I need an ear...a listening and communicative lateral one...but as I'm abit short of available companionship I thought I'd make some sort of entrance into the wonderful "Walls Enlcose". This community is definately a sanctuary I am in great need of. I thank Tucker dearly for working towards this.
As a side note...if it isn't obvious yet..I do wander off on tangents and rant a little where occasion rises yet I think to the acceptance this place holds and I assure you that you are all free to speak your minds here. I would love it. Please do.
I know that love endures everything. True love and honesty and trust. It amazes me tremendously and gives that feeling of wanting to sit back, mouth wide open and think "wow!". I'm completely bowled over. Just like my amazement of the extent of the mind's capacity...the heart presents as much a moving feeling within me.
Nothing is as non-discriminating as the heart. It loves people and places,feelings and sensations, a favourite book, a person's eyes... it loves and it loves and rolls with all the punches.
A person can love their lifestyle, their dog, their favourite day of the week or maybe even simply their favourite cereal. They can fall in love with the rain, a movie, the sunset, the smell of old books and it is all still love just different kinds and at varying degrees. The heart's love for their one true person is so unique and moving that no poet could ever capture it all and do the feelings justice.
That is just my big "wow" about the mind and the heart of which all of the above came straight from. I have a fondness for many simple things in my life and an incredible amount of love for one very special and amazing person.
I think I have achieved what I wanted out of this post...by sharing my thoughts...and most of all to voice a personal concern.
I'm worried about the one I love in more ways than one. It is only natural and I would find it more of a concern if I didn't and I just ignorantly rolled through life. Whether it is too much...who knows...i don't even know if there is such thing. But I needed to find a place to rest my mind awhile. Brush away a few cobwebs and nestle in a pile of snuggly blankets. With loving someone comes the constant desire to place them so softly and safely in the palm of your hand and watch them guarding them from the world and any pain it may bring. Wanting to wrap your wings around that special person, kiss their forehead and wipe their tears away listening to their inner most thoughts and troubles.
I want you all to take notice and find what it is in your life that you love. Its there and it'll bring you a happiness that the everyday chores of life would not. If it isn't so obvious at first...let it show itself to you.
If you'd like to share it...that would be wonderful.
Thank you for braving my post to the end. You people are all beautiful souls of courage and strength and hearts full of dreams.
I'll close up with something I wrote yesturday on a topic that a friend advised I write about...I also love my friends...this particular person knows who he is *hugs*...

( retrospect of grievingCollapse )

Current Mood: thoughtful

(Shed feeble light)

Sunday, September 1st, 2002
9:29 pm
[sdrohc_ratiug]
Dead Poets Society
Excerpt from Walden



I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear, nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me, are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief end of man here to "glorify God and enjoy him forever."



- Henry David Thoreau

Current Mood: morose

(Shed feeble light)

9:15 pm
[sdrohc_ratiug]
just me speaking in tongues again..
Complainte de la Butte



En haut de la rue St-Vincent
Un poète et une inconnue
S'aimèrent l'espace d'un instant
Mais il ne l'a jamais revue

Cette chanson il composa
Espérant que son inconnue
Un matin d'printemps l'entendra
Quelque part au coin d'une rue

La lune trop blême
Pose un diadème
Sur tes cheveux roux
La lune trop rousse
De gloire éclabousse
Ton jupon plein d'trous

La lune trop pâle
Caresse l'opale
De tes yeux blasés
Princesse de la rue
Soit la bienvenue
Dans mon coeur blessé

Les escaliers de la butte sont durs aux miséreux
Les ailes des moulins protègent les amoureux

Petite mendigote
Je sens ta menotte
Qui cherche ma main
Je sens ta poitrine
Et ta taille fine
J'oublie mon chagrin

Je sens sur tes lèvres
Une odeur de fièvre
De gosse mal nourri
Et sous ta caresse
Je sens une ivresse
Qui m'anéantit

Les escaliers de la butte sont durs aux miséreux
Les ailes des moulins protègent les amoureux

Mais voilà qu'il flotte
La lune se trotte
La princesse aussi
Sous le ciel sans lune
Je pleure à la brune
Mon rêve évanoui


Current Mood: francais

(Shed feeble light)

Thursday, August 29th, 2002
9:18 pm
[sdrohc_ratiug]
Peanuts
Peppermint Patti and Charlie Brown are lying at the base of a tree, looking at the clouds..
Peppermint Patti: 'What do you think security is, Chuck?'
Charlie Brown: 'Security? Security is sleeping in the back seat of the car...
When you're a little kid, and you've been somehwere with your Mom and Dad, and it's night, and you're riding home in the car, you can sleep in the back seat..'

Charlie Brown stands up for emphasis, Peppermint Patti stands up and looks at him intently..
CB: 'You don't have to worry about anything...your Mom and Dad are in the front seat, and they do all the worrying...they take care of everything...'

*pause* Peppermint Patti and Charlie Brown sit back down...
PP: 'That's real neat!'

Charlie Brown's expression grows fretful...
CB: 'But it doesn't last! Suddenly, you're grown up, and it can never be that way again! Suddenly, it's over, and you'll never get to sleep in the back seat again! Never!' PP: 'Never? CB: 'Absolutely never!

Peppermint Patti grabs Charlie Brown's arm and yanks him to her,
PP: 'Hold my hand, Chuck!'


END


Current Mood: secure

(Shed feeble light)

8:37 pm
[sdrohc_ratiug]
the sands have run out...for your lady and me...
Thanatopsis
William Cullen Bryant


To him who, in the love of Nature, holds
Communion with her visible forms, she speaks
A various language: for his gayer hours
She has a voice of gladness, and a smile
And eloquence of beauty; and she glides
Into his darker musings, with a mild
And healing sympathy, that steals away
Their sharpness, ere he is aware. When thoughts
Of the last bitter hour come like a blight
Over thy spirit, and sad images
Of the stern agony, and shroud, and pall,
And breathless darkness, and the narrow house
Make thee to shudder, and grow sick at heart, --
Go forth under the open sky, and list
To Nature's teachings, while from all around --
Earth and her waters, and the depths of air --
Comes a still voice:-- Yet a few days, and thee
The all-beholding sun shall see no more
In all his course; nor yet in the cold ground,
Where thy pale form was laid, with many tears,
Nor in the embrace of ocean, shall exist
Thy image. Earth, that nourished thee, shall claim
Thy growth, to be resolved to earth again;
And, lost each human trace, surrendering up
Thine individual being, shalt thou go
To mix forever with the elements;
To be a brother to the insensible rock,
And to the sluggish clod, which the rude swain
Turns with his share, and treads upon.The oak
Shall send his roots abroad, and pierce thy mold.
Yet not to thine eternal resting place
Shalt thou retire alone -- nor couldst thou wish
Couch more magnificent. Thou shalt lie down
With patriarchs of the infant world-with kings,
The powerful of the earth -- the wise, the good,
Fair forms, and hoary seers of ages past,
All in one mighty sepulcher. The hills,
Rock-ribbed, and ancient as the sun; the vales
Stretching in pensive quietness between;
The venerable woods; rivers that move
In majesty, and the complaining brooks,
That make the meadows green; and, poured round all
Old ocean's gray and melancholy waste --
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man! The golden sun,
The planets, all the infinite host of heaven,
Are shining on the sad abodes of death,
Through the still lapse of ages. All that tread
The globe are but a handful to the tribes
That slumber in its bosom. Take the wings
Of morning, pierce the Barcan wilderness,
Or lose thyself in the continuous woods
Where rolls the Oregon and hears no sound
Save his own dashings -- yet the dead are there;
And millions in those solitudes, since first
The flight of years began, have laid them down
In their last sleep-the dead reign there alone!
So shalt thou rest, and what if thou withdraw
In silence from the living; and no friend
Take note of thy departure? All that breathe
Will share thy destiny. The gay will laugh
When thou art gone, the solemn brood of care
Plod on, and each one as before shall chase
His favorite phantom; yet all these shall leave
Their mirth and their employments, and shall come
And make their bed with thee. As the long train
Of ages glides away, the sons of men --
The youth in life's green spring, and he who goes
In the full strength of years, matron and maid,
And the sweet babe, and the gray-headed man --
Shall one by one be gathered to thy side,
By those, who in their turn shall follow them.

So live that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan that moves
To that mysterious realm, where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.


Current Mood: peaceful

(Shed feeble light)

Wednesday, August 28th, 2002
10:50 pm
[starlet]
FINALLY, i get to post here!
i've been awaiting the grand opening of this dern spiffy community for a long while now. THANK YOU TUCKER!!! *hugs*

these are the Walls.
the bracing Walls in which
will serve as life support
when we have nothing else
and all is lost..
or the Walls with
windows to shower
you with light during
your days of good...
Welcome

this is really retarded..but i don't really care :)

Current Mood: dorky

(14 Torn Shadows |Shed feeble light)

10:42 pm
[childeofloki]
Well..
I have gone and put the energy into setting this up.
Let us all pray to gods that do not exist for this to work.

(Shed feeble light)

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