black chariot for the red head

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm not a skinny girl. I'm not even what might be commonly called "thin" (although size is relative). But I'm healthy, my husband finds me attractive, I fit in my clothes, and I'm comfortable in my skin.

I've come to realize that America's culture of being obsessed with the size tag on your jeans is someone else's problem. I'm really bothered that women (and I was guilty of this for years) in general, think that their self worth is increased as the number on their size tag decreases.

I did so many diets over the years, and when you add it all up, I have lost and gained close to 300 lbs over all that time.

And every time I'd get skinny, six months later, I'd end up fatter than ever. Then after Lily was born, I still obsessed. Must. lose. weight. Why? Who for? Me? Bob? Lily?

Lily doesn't care what I look like as long as I have the energy to play, which I do, and Bob likes curvy girls and always has. For me? Not really, when I thought about it. I was doing it because it's what the media - magazines, tv, internet, movies etc - has told is "normal".

Well, y'all know I have never been "normal" a day in my life, so who was I trying to impress? I still don't know.

I guess I'm getting at this thing where I tell you something profoundly cheese-ball. Love the body you have and stop worrying about the size tag on your jeans. If it bothers you so much, cut it out when you get home from the store. Don't get down on yourself over that damn tag. It's a ridiculous notion that your self worth depend on something so trivial. We as humans are so much more than the clothes on our back. And if you're not, then it's time for some inward reflection.

Happy Holiday that you celebrate to those 4 people that still read livejournal. <3

I had an epiphany about why I seem to excel at sales. I grew up being dragged door to door selling Jesus. Makeup is a much easier sell.

So I am now selling Arbonne. It's a pretty good gig, and it means I am sort of self employed.

BUT! I need help with getting parties together! If you'll hostess a party for me, you get free goods and 80% off of your own purchases. If you go and look at the catalog at Arbonne.com you will see that this is a great deal.

I know, I know, things look really expensive. But with all the ways that you can get discounts through hosting parties or doing the Preferred Client program, you'll never have to pay full price.

I decided to do this after I did my research, read all the fine print, and went HUNTING for bad reviews, and didn't find any.

A lot of you know that I have been on a crusade against toxins in my home and in my life since spring of this year. This fits right into that, as all the products are botanically based, vegan, and cruelty free.

Not to mention that they are better quality than anything I've ever bought in a store.

So please, wont you host a party for me and get some free stuff?

I had my 2nd to last sitting for my Death Star last night.

Final sitting for color will be Aug 23rd. Pretty sad to have it come to an end. It's been nice getting my tattoo fix once a month for the last 5 months.

Here is what I had done last night. I'm in love with it. I want to make out with it. Brian is so incredibly talented.

Along Williamson St, you will see signs that read "A Place For All People".

I moved here in 1999, from Cincinnati. Cincinnati, as a whole, is very socially divided. It is divided by race, religion, politics, and class. People overall stick with "their own" and don't intermingle much. It was just that way growing up. I never really saw anything wrong with it.

Enter Wisconsin. My eyes were opened and my life changed for the better.

I can be a liberal hippie and you can be a Republican and we can still be friends, because we respect and understand where the other person is coming from without having to convince them that we are right and they are wrong..

I can be a Pagan, and you can be a Christian, and we can still be friends, because we have a mutual respect for the other persons beliefs.


I can be poor and you can be wealthy, and we can still be friends, because money doesn't matter and we have common interests and enjoy each others company.


I can be one race and you can be another, and we can still be friends, because race doesn't matter and we have common interests and enjoy each others company.


THIS! This "I'm okay, you're okay" vibe is what I LOVE about Wisconsin. I love this state and the people in it. I'm here because I want to be and I hope I will be here for the rest of my life.


I have absolute faith in the people of Wisconsin right now that we are going to beat this thing. And it is because of the people in Wisconsin. It is because having RESPECT for other people, I think, is a basic value here.


And having been in the throng of the protests, I will say that it is one respectful crowd. Respectful and considerate people are surrounding the capitol right now, and that is what has made it such a peaceful protest all along.


So, I'm ok, and you're ok, but Gov. Scott Walker, you are not ok. You are not ok AT ALL.

Power to the people, and fight the good fight, and other such encouraging words.

(man, having a little girl makes for an EXCELLENT excuse to make her all sorts of stuff and makes for a great creative outlet!)

So I posted last night about this, and here is photo progress and the finished product.


Back of poster frame with holes mapped and drilled for every 6 inches up and down.



Fabric on, polyfill stuffed. Here it kind of just looks like a big pillow.



TADA! Finished!



no flash


Yeah, I MADE A PIECE OF FURNITURE!

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession


I have an associates degree in Commercial Art but never did anything with it.

I truly love this mommy business more than I ever thought I could or would.

I could eat my weight in Grape Nuts.

I was supposed to be a boy named David, so I didn't have a name until I was 3 days old.

Having a kid is the best thing I have ever done.

My sense of smell is the strongest of all my senses, and that is why I get obsessed with things that smell nice.

I haven't painted my nails since July.

I am a much more organized person that my home would lead you to believe.

I have had every eating disorder under the sun, and much like being an alcoholic, I don't think that it is something that you ever recover from.

That is 9. You get no more.

I haven't done an LJ meme in ages, and this seems a nice way to get people posting to LJ again, and it also seems a bit more introspective than the usual sort of meme. Also, I am procrastinating. So, here goes.


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession


1. I miss you. Just because I have a kid now, doesn't mean that I don't still like hanging with my friends that don't have kids and doing the things I liked to do before I had Lily.

2. I selfishly hope you will stay forever. Life is more fun with you here.

3. I love you so much that it shakes me to my core.

4. Being your friend has made me a better person. Thank you for being a beautiful human being.

5. Sometimes, just the thought of you makes me have a flash of anger and hurt. But if I didn't feel that way, it would mean that I don't miss you, which I do. Bridges were never burnt, just made a little shaky to cross. If you ever want to meet me in the middle, we can work something out.

6. I hope someday that you find the great love that turns your world on its head, until then, I hope that you can become your own greatest love.

7. You deserve better than what you have, and you know it. I just you would get off your bum and go looking for it.

8. I am so amazed and humbled by you. I wish I could be more like you. I find you incredibly intimidating, and I hope that you don't see my reluctance to spend time with you as snobbery on my part. You just make me feel so small.

9. It was the e-card you sent. A dancing flower? Really? The most insensitive gesture of "sympathy" I have ever seen. That is why we aren't friends anymore. You don't have to live in the dark about that anymore. It was a last straw.

10. I wish Lily would know you growing up, but because of distance, it probably won't happen.

DADT has been repealed. I think that is worth posting here about.