So, religious rule. It's an interesting concept, and something we've been kind of going over in my history class. Obviously, you can't study the history of humans without encountering religion. When you look back through time, and you see civilizations that were based on a theocracy, what you see is not what you'd expect. Anyone who knows anything about the crusades knows that it was one of the bloodiest times in human history, and that person also knows it was over religious control. The same happened in alot of other places and times throughout history, most of them less acknowledged and/or known about. But it happened, alot. Even when there was a civilization based on a theocratic government and there wasn't killing, it still wasn't the most stable or happy of places. The reason that America exists, as we all know, is because the pilgrims came here for religious freedom.

Something kind of clicked today when we were talking about the evolution of Catholicism and Charlemagne in Medieval France today. I'd never really fully understood some people's problems with the current administration in America. I'd always just really thought that Christian ideals were the best kind of ideals for America, and considering our forefathers established those ideals into our political structure, that's the way to go. And for the most part I still think it is. What is that just started scaring me as of about an hour ago, is that there seems to be a confusion developing over the difference between religious ideals, and religious rules. The point I made in the part was that America is not, and was not supposed to be a theocracy. The meaning I put to that is that rules and decisions for government, and people, are not supposed to be made under religious laws. It seems that in the time that i've actually paid attention to politics (the last 6 years specifically), decisions have been made more and more with an influence by the decision maker's religous influences. Being a christian myself, it doesn't seem like a bad thing at first. Of course you want people leading you to have the same beleifs as you. But the problem comes in where the line is drawn. How much religious influence can you have before you're a theocracy? How much religious influence in your countries laws can you have before other religions are exploited upon and receive, as some would say "the short end of the stick". How much religious influence can you have before other belief systems are completely outlawed. Things might not seem that bad now, when in 50 years in the future the current system has evolved into the further makings of theocratic rule.

I guess you can kind of focus on one issue that kind of confuses me. Homo-sexual marriage. Obviously, as a christian, I am supposed to be against it. But after that is where it gets really really muddy. Is it a religious issue, or is it a government issue? If it is a religious issue, with the separation of church and state--what right does the government have in banning it. If it is a government issue, where does the government get it's idea of the concept being a bad thing. Banning it also further establishes shades of a theocratic government. By not allowing a gay person to get married, you are forcing him to follow laws that are derived straight from religious sources. Even if that person is not a part of that particular belief system, he or she is made to follow those rules, thus exploiting and giving that person that hypothetical "short end of the stick". So as a Christian, am I supposed to be against gay marriage, AND against the banning simultaneously? Obviously some would say that that doesn't make much sense. In some ways it doesn't.

I'm probably not covering any new ground here. I just needed to write it down for my own sake. Want to discuss? Eh, go ahead. I need more insight I guess.


In other news. I love her more and more everyday. Everyday the phrase "I love you" means more, and makes me feel happier. The thought of spending the rest of my life with her seems completely suiting. The way things should be.


Oh, in even OTHER news, RAAAAAWWWRRR!!!!

I'm not in a real good mood.

I've had some kind of satan cold the last few days, but i'm starting to feel better.

I've been wanting to write this real long entry on what i've been thinking lately, but when I get to the livejournal update page, I just don't feel like it...


Basically, my future goes in music, and movies...yeah...I've been thinking about that. What I want to do with it. And whenever I think about either, I just become overwhelmed with this want, and need, to just do things rediculously. Over the top. Crazy.

I think that's the only way to be remembered, and to do something lasting. Or, not the only way. The best way for me. I've always wanted to just affect people. From being in elementary and junior high, I wanted to be the class clown not just because I made people laugh, but because I could muster a reaction out of the teacher. It didn't bother me if she didn't like me. In fact, that might be what I was looking for. Psychologically, you'd think this was because I didn't get enough attention at home, but I got plenty. I was a mommas boy....when she was there.

I remember in Junior High, my science teacher was Mrs. Dean. Science was always a piece of cake for me. Common sense mostly, and memorization the rest. So I would spend most of the classes coming up with this little clever quips and responses to her lectures. It annoyed her at first, but after a while she got used to it I think. I just kept doing it. As much as possible. People laughed. She laughed, then told me to be quiet. I got A's on my test. I was satisfied. Thinking back on it now, I think I was being a bit rediculous. I kinda cringe at some of the stuff I remember saying, but I think she understood what I was doing. I just wanted a reaction. She laughed at me, and politely told me to let her lecture.

I wanted to affect people. And I guess that's carried over in my passion and ideas for movies.

I want to go over the top. I want to tell my audience that everything they've been watching for the last 2 hours was absolute bullshit. I want to tell my audience that they're assumptions are wrong. I want to get people out of their comfort zone. If they don't like it...fine. They'll remember it though. That's more important than them liking it or not. Remembering it. Now, when I say that...I don't want to kill babies on screen or anything. I'm not going for sick stuff here. I'm just tired of coming out of an incredible movie, and hearing people say "that was a waste of time." Or people saying they didn't like the way the movie ended, when the ending was ingenious, and beautiful ("Stay"...go see it.) Or people saying "That movie wasn't as scary as it should have been." You decided in YOUR mind the movie was going to be that scary. It's YOUR fault you didn't like the movie.

I want to force people out of their comfort zones. I want them to find that there's more outside of there that they may like. I just want to take all the things I love in movies, and I hear these same close-minded, uncultured people saying they don't like...and just expound upon those concepts to the boiling point. I want them to come out shaken. I want that movie or the music to stick with them for the rest of their lives. And then one day, they'll be laying in bed at 3:00 in the morning, trying to get back to sleep after a horrible nightmare and think...."I get it. I see what he was trying to do...that was incredible."

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amused

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Ooh the joy I get from running over ant hills with the lawn mower.

By the way, I love mowing.

There's something awesome about it. Seeing the transformation from "ghetto-yard" to "nice horse galloping field".

Or something like that. But probably not.

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contemplative

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My last post was a bit of a last minute rant of sorts. I wanted to write the post I'm writing now, then.

I've been stuck on the subject of belief lately. I have trouble understanding the process that goes into believing in something. I must say that I do believe in God, and I believe in Jesus Christ. In short, I'm a christian. It's the in between that gets tricky.

No matter how strongly my belief in something, I would assume that I would question it. I strongly doubt even the pope has never done such a thing. It's human nature. But the question i'm asking is, WHY do I believe? Is it because I was raised in the church? Was it because my grandma made me read the bible all the time. Or was it because I felt that both of these entities existed. I'd say of course, It's because I felt them in my heart.

I'm fully inspired by the endless amount of people who, day to day, put their faith in something that, i've been taught my entire life, doesn't exist. I'm told that these people are dedicated their life and worshiping something that there is no truth in. How lucky would I be, to receive the truth?

There are 2.1 billion christians on this earth.
An even smaller amount are baptist.
An even smaller amount are southern baptist.
An even smaller amount are the number of my church who help influence my belief.

So, even if I was one of the lucky 2.1 billion to be blessed with the truth, what about these smaller numbers that i'm attributed to? What are the odds that we have the truthful doctrine, and the other, say..1.9 billion don't? Small.

I'm not sure what my point is here. It's why I hate typing my thoughts. I'm not a very organized thinker, so it doesn't translate well to paper (or whatever medium).

I'm not giving up on my beliefs, i'm merely asking questions. Looking. I really don't see how anybody can truly set in stone their way of belief until they've asked themselves why the believe what they do. \

And here is where faith comes in.

This isn't just about religion. Not at all. You can apply it to anything. People are too scared to question the preconceptions they've built up around them.

Out of 6 billion people on this earth, what are the odds that you were lucky enough to receive the one and only, irrefutable truth?

If anyone would like to download my official (I like saying it's official, it makes it sound like I already have a record deal) demo, for my little music project I have going, the link is here. Or, if you want me to mail you a cd of it, just let me know.

It's good stuff. I'm proud of it.