Drum
Wednesday, October 7, 2026
Nursing pains
A beautiful young woman loved the nursing uniform. She fell in love with the stethoscope around the neck and the heartbeat of the patients. She studied very hard in nursing school. Just recently, her family celebrated when she finally became a graduate nurse. However, her eyes have opened to the challenges of nursing and nurses, who work long shifts in testing environments. She asked her father: Why wok les long baim mi? There are so much sick attending the hospitals in POM and the pay for a graduate is not what she expected!
Dam it
A group had a night debate with a watery flourish. The word was thirsty and out. Was it dam or pool or reservoir of water? The first old bugger said reservoir. The second old fella insisted on dam. And the Whoopi Goldberg of the group sang a Rainy Lae tune online. Another Idiot (AI) suggested a pool of eda ranu trapped in wadeva is lareva. Even one waterless dry bugger said every primitive knows what Sirinumu Dam is. One small rat whispered that all the natives have never heard the word reservoir, let alone know the spelling. In the end the kanakas settled on dam.
Samting nating
Remember Nating Nating, the baby from yesterday? Well, nating has become samting. Mamas and Papas in Badili have joined in the hunt for Nating Nating’s parents. So, if you know who the parents are or the mama or papa of Nating, please call the police hotline number.
Mama geamsao
The Yabim District mama geamsao mess is laughable. How can a group defraud their own group members from remote Menyamya. The Yabim mama leaders now owe more than an apology to the Menyamya circuit mamas. They must refund their money in full or risk being arrested for misusing the Menyamyans cash.
wrong highway
A Mekeo guy was drinking at the old Boroko tavern. It was getting late. He had to get home to Bereina station for the weekend. His mate from Kwiks shouted a last round and took him to Four-Mile and loaded him on a half empty PMV. Being drunk, he did not realise that the PMV was from Rigo. The curious driver, who was from Garaina but married to Rigo, asked the Mexican if he was from Garaina. The drunk did not hear him clearly and nodded yes and promptly fell asleep. When he woke up, too late, it was dark, he was in Kwikila instead of Bereina.
jack’s hiccups
In Kido village near the LNG plant is a great fisherman named Jack. His catch is always plentiful, and he rules the waves of Kido. Now young Jack has seven sisters. One of them is married to an Ozzie. One day big sis was visiting Kido and Jack, who is illiterate, was told to never utter a word, lest he embarrass the tribe.
taubada’s hiccups
After a powerful night with taubada, all these literate ones retired for the night leaving Jack with his in-law. The taubada was drowning the night on Jack Daniels pure. In one session with nakimi Jack, he took a sip and hiccupped, puts the glass down and says bloody hiccup. Typical Aussie, he wanders off to water the Kido grass. Jack takes his tambu’s glass and takes a long straw. It is powerful. He sees a million stars and almost passes out.
kido hiccups
Next day, Jack goes around Kido singing praises for his Ozzie inlaw. He is boasting that his tambu can drink Kido dry. Eventually his uncle asks him, ‘what did your nakimi drink that makes you so proud?’ Fisherman Jack proudly replies, ‘taubada was drinking Hiccups!’ Kido people are still looking for the new beer Hiccups.
Tuesday, October 6, 2026
Mexican bush rum
A Mekeo from the very bush Mekeo forests, went on a trip down under. On his way home, he bought some very expensive bundy, rum, whiskey and sorry cup flavours. The bush Mexicans, being bush mastas, were totally wasted by the red labels and black labels. They forgot their Mexican accent and were soon singing some keremaican numbers like ‘sapos yu laik salens mi, ai don kea enipoti’.
Fooled by the sauces
The following week, the Bush Papuans went on a joy ride to Moresby. Having been mersmerised by the black and red labels, they were out looking for the same colours when they come across soy sauce, cooking sauces and the kitchen sauces in a shopping mall, jumbo lai. Thinking this had to be the real stuff, they bought the sauces and took them home for a typical bush mekeo party. Soon the party was in full swing but nobody was floating yet. Only when the mama of the house recognised the cooking sauces did the party go ‘red, black and gold’.
Ear buds
An oldie was on his machine recycling some movies. He turned to his daughter sitting next to him and asked ‘dota can I use your ear bud?’ the daughter looked at her papa in a very confused way. The father asked again ‘the ear buds, darling. The one you just dropped on the floor.’ Then it dawned on the daughter, papa was not trying to clean his ears, he was trying to listen to the audio. The girl tells her daddy, ‘papa this is a headphone.’ The old man nodded. ‘Yes, ear flug.’
Baby nating nating
A child now being raised in a Badili settlement in Port Moresby is known as Nating Nating. The baby is cared for by two kids. The mum is never seen. And the papa has never been seen. As this amounts to child abuse, we call on Child Welfare Services to send a team to Badili at the back of Green House, Talai Settlement, Koiari Tari compound. You will find a malnourished Nating Nating roaming around there looking for nating.
Fada nating
A father woke up yesterday, switched his phone on but did not have any network. He kept trying but to no avail. Refresh, switch on off, fiddling with network setting but nogad kokoroku stret. Anyway, tickled all over and fuming gageva red, he calls up Telikom help desk, accusing them of scamming his credits. But the lady gracefully keeps her cool and explains the dispute procedures and promises to call back.
Fada forgetful
Mister FF (fada forgetful) checks his forever empty wallet and finds the receipt showing he had purchased a Raitkad the previous evening at 16.58pm at the local servo, a good hour and a half before the NRL Kokoroku grand final hot rooster. Sure enough, the beautiful and gracious kekeni at Telikom calls him back and assures him that he had not topped up his credits.
FF suddenly remembers
Fada Forgetful is miffed. Feeling totally cheesed off, he pulls out a used K10 top kad. The Telikom staffer enters it online. ‘Sorry Paps’ she says, ‘this kad was used by someone else. It’s not topped up by you’. Paps tamana is turning orange like a tiger. His wife is turning red like red riding hood. And their baby is wondering what’s wrong with my parents?
FF discovers amazing grace
Finally, FF goes off to work, clocks in for the day, and climbs the stairs to his office. As FF flops on his chair like a puffed-up albatross, right there and then, lo and behold the winning field goal, is the missing Telikom card. Fada Forgetful offers a humble apology to the ever so gracious and graceful Customer Services Officer, Amazing Grace.
Monday, October 5, 2026
Dom young and tom old
As the game started, the Knights shifted the ball wide to Dom Young, an old guy stood up, shouted in kerema English, ‘ai lou fo yu sali poi’ (I know you sonny boy) and told his sons, ‘Tom Young stap insait lo keim, eh he, na mi Tom Old, mi stap ausait na sapotim yangpla. Lapun sapotim Yangpla, pai try kamap’. His tobras son laughed and said, fada, nem blo em DOM ino TOM! Quick as a flash, Old Tom said, ‘yes son, you are right pat in keleva, Dom is Tom and Tom is Dom, father and son.’
our own fada masu
The commentary’s regular call of Newcastle winger Greg Marzhew reminded our old journos of a man who was more famous in our newsroom than rugby league players. His name was legendary for all the sugary sweet teacups in the newsroom. Father Masu Morim, from Buang, Morobe, was our last newsroom tea boy. No one ever got past his famous 10 spoon boilers. That steamy cup could stir up your imagination better than a mekeo buai and a kerema daka did for a front-page story. In memory of Fada Marzhew.
Locked out
We all have heard of the landowners thrown out of a hotel for non-payment of bed and breakfast. Well, at another hotel, a group of MK locals packed it in after a lapun old L/O kicked the bucket at Pom Gen. It seems vada feelings sent them packing as the old one passed on without getting his royalty. And they feared they’d be next. Oh PNG, enough lo bilip lo mesiri, vada, sorcery.
Dinau tales
A taubada wanted to sneak off to the club to watch the NRL grand final. But poor bugger, he had not a toea in his pocket. So, he was so sweet and lovey dovey to his wife. He decided to test himself telling her she was sweetest thing in his life. Wife had already calculated the next move.
Dinau drop
As a last resort, he finally popped the dangerous pitch, ‘Can I give you my card and get a loan from you?’ The fire that came out almost burnt the house down. The man was about to call the fire brigade to come by and hose his missus down during their ‘maus pait’ firefight.
Dinau lessons
Our friend realised that a man should never treat his wife harshly. Family is the union of a man and a woman. Love must be a two-way thing. Respect between partners must be strong for the sake of unity and children. After their disagreement, she ended up sleeping at a friend’s house and returned the next day.
knight’s oldies
Our homegrown ex Knights players Dairi Kovae and Arnold Krewanty were among the thousands of fans in Sydney yesterday to watch their old team play. They almost came home with unforgettable memories of a famous Knights grand final win. It was so close, both Kumuls were left with their hearts in their mouths up until the final ding dong hooter. Dairi and Arnold last played for the Newcastle Knights in 1989 when it was a newly formed team.
Blistering side-step
Before Benji Marshall brought the brilliance and flash of the side-step to NRL, Dairi Dux Kovae was already mesmerising crowds in Sydney, Moresby and at international Tests with his lightning footwork. Dairi caught the eye of North Sydney Bear scouts and became the first PNG home grown player to be signed to a Sydney club in 1988. He is officially Bear number 855.
Duxie at knights
Duxie, from Porebada, the home of the famous DCA Bulldogs, was snapped up by the Newcastle Knights as Knight number 43 in their foundation year. He is officially Kumul number 95. He retired from rugby league after suffering a career ending knee injury.
El Nino strikes manus hard
Severe drought conditions are driving thirsty villages in Manus to search for water. All rivers are drying up. Streams and creeks are gone. On Los Negros Island where the Momote International Airport is located, all water tanks have finished in 8 wards. This is an SOS May Day call to the Provincial and National Governments.
Friday, October 2, 2026
The Wightman Experience
In September 1974, a sinabada named Mrs Wightman went shopping at Boroko’s Tabari Arcade. In those good old days, shopping was fun. No hassles, you could take your time, walk through the aisles, check prices, ask for new orders, meet and greet old pals, and even enjoy a meaty Arthurs pie.
Lost car key
After three hours, sinabada Wightman returned to her car with her shopping bag. Checking her purse, she realised the car key was not there. Her heart sank. Sinabada carried her bags to the nearest shop and used a pay phone to call taubada Wightman who was the boss of the ANZ bank.
Taubada to the rescue
Taubada zooms around the Boroko bus-stop at full toss only to find his lalokau sitting inside the family car with her shopping. Taubada was flabbergasted. What kind of ‘mesiri’ is this, he asked. Wearing a happy smile, sinabada Wightman told of a Papua New Guinea native who had found the vehicle key lying on the ground and picked it up.
RARE HONESTY
For three hours the honest man had sat on a rock beside the car waiting for the owner to return. When Sinabada finally came back after calling taubada, the man had returned the key safely and walked away. Taubada was sent to bring him back for his reward. Such honesty is very rare in Papua New Guinea these days.
Robots
Nowadays we walk past each other like robot’s staring at the ground searching for answers amongst the stones and dust eyes glued to the breadcrumbs like hungry ants on a mission. Are we really searching for answers or simply avoiding what’s coming. Before you become a hit and run victim, always keep your head up and not face down.
Governor Challenge
A man stood at the buai market in Konedobu and announced to the whole world that Powes Parkop had been ousted by Michael Kandiu. He said ‘yupla ologeda harim, Powes em lus, kot tok, powes yu aut, Michael Kandiu kam in olsem nupela gavana.’ A PP supporter standing nearby challenged him: ‘yu save long lo o nogat? Kot ino mekim wanpla toktok lo Kandiu kamap gavana. Kot tok, Kandiu, apil salens blo yu bai go bek lo kot bai harim.’
A Park and A Model Ford
October 1 marks several major historical events, including the US government establishing the Yosemite National Park in 1890 followed by the debut of America’s most famous motor brand the Ford Model T in 1908. If you are Ford owner or ford enthusiast, there’s a piece of history for you.
Chinese Bamboo Very Strong
The People’s Republic of China was founded on October 1, 1949. We all know now that it took a very strong Chinese bamboo very strong Mao Zedong to raise a new communist nation. From China came kung fu action movie stars Bruce Lee, Jet Li and the funniest of them all Jackie Chan, known for the phrase ‘Chinese Bamboo Very Strong’ as Inspector Lee in Rush Hour. We should not forget that our kids trust Kung Fu Panda too. Read the full story of Mao Zedong and his cultural revolution in today’s PC Weekend Magazine!
THRILLA IN MAMINA
Papua New Guinea was one month old when on October 1, 1975, the boxing great that ‘floats like an Oro butterfly’ Muhammad Ali, previously born as Kakasia Clay fro Kaugere, ‘stung’ Joe Frazier into submission in the legendary heavyweight boxing match known as the “Thrilla in Manila”. One year earlier in October of 1974, the bumbu bee had stung George Foreman over 6 rounds in the ‘Rumble in the Jungle’ in Kinshasa, Zaire, now the Democratic republic of Congo. Nowadays, we don’t get that level of thrashing talking, mouthguard kissing, fists bashing heavyweight boxing.
Thursday, October 1, 2026
A house too small
A little girl went to visit grandpa who is recovering slowly after a hospital stay. At grandpa’s flat, she was very impressed. She asked mother ‘can you rent a house like this?’ To which the mama replied, ‘well if you go to school and learn and one day you grow up, sure you can make your dream come true.’ Apparently, they are renting and living in a container house at Vadavada Block.
UNTRUSTED NETWORKS
Even with the technological advances, many areas in PNG remain outside the network coverage areas. The network in Rigo and Abau areas have extremely poor reception and remain outside the network coverage areas.
TOWERS ARE USELESS
Despite the towers that dot the high countryside, networks are dysfunctional. There is no sign of Telikom for those users, while new Voda is taking over on good days but drops off on bad days. Locals say the strong winds are blowing their voices away. One man said that when he calls his wife, he has to sing loudly for his wife to hear. Last time he sang a love song, and a girl next door was ‘paralysed’ by his Basil Greg type of lonely makuri voice.
TRY THE LADDER
A family desperate to get the message to Moresby decided to employ their own home-made tower. The father lifted his wife on his shoulder; a child clambered onto mama’s shoulder and held out the phone to scan for a signal. Just as the child got the signal, the engine cut off. The ladder could not be remounted as the papa had by now developed a severe back ache.
The lofty tree
Last Sunday, a desperate young man climbed to the top of a lofty tree in his garden to listen to the NRL semi finals broad cast. To his great joy at hearing that Newcastle was about to score the winning try, he let out a cry of relief and a Knights chant only to lose his grip and drop the expensive phone, which bounced off the diwai and into the piglet boroma fence. He is still looking for the phone, which actually belongs to his father, who is a Panthers diehard.
A WEEK LATE
A Moresby sinabada tried calling her relos in the village to no avail. She couldn’t get through. It was extremely frustrating. Finally, after a week, they finally answered. She blasted them saying, ‘why don’t you answer your phone, what’s the use of having a phone, just throw them in the sea.’ The family replied, we never heard your calls coming. If we throw them in the sea, how are you going to talk with the fish?
JENNY GREEN
A man was in love with a nurse named Jen whose father’s name was Green. But every time he picks up the phone to call her, he gets cold feet and doesn’t call beautiful Jen. This went on for a while. Every time he sees her in the marketplace, he waved at her and made the phone call sign with is finger. Eventually he plucked up enough courage and dialled the hospital and told the reception, ‘I want to speak to det wan gan grene.’ The receptionist was flabbergasted so she transferred the call to the tropical disease ward. The matron answers ‘yes, yu hao, can I help you.’ The man chokes and says, ‘aaah is that you gangrene.’ Matron responds: ‘no, this is the gangrene treatment centre. If you are suffering from gangrene and sipoma and some titiri, come in tomorrow, we will check you out.’
GANGRENE
Next day hidomo gets all dressed up. By 7 am he pops up at the hospital in a suit and tie. Tells the receptionist he is there to see gan green. The reception remembers the call from yesterday and sends him to the disease ward. And there is the chubby matron with her deadly matagalasi specs on the tip of magarida nose. She gives him the once over and asks, ‘son, which part of you has gangrene?’ Tamada that samatex size 28 fellow is now very smol smol. He tries to explain it but hard, so he points at his heart. Same second Jen Green walks into matron’s office. On seeing his lalokau salima love, tamada wai laik dis, that hidomo from Goodenough fellow, goes very bad enough and suddenly faints.
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
Last we heard, Jenny Green is not his love anymore after she found out his English was NOT Good Enough. For calling her Gangreen was bad enough. Ewa det wan sipoma grille titiri kaikai his gangrene.
Wednesday, September 30, 2026
MIX BREED
A tall man was walking up the road when he saw a wantok selling fried sago. The lady saw the man hungrily eyeing her sagos and muttered ‘fresh poi ya, fresh wan stret’. Hungry man paid for 5 and the grateful mama said, ‘yu blo mekeo ah’ to which the keremacano nodded and agreed ‘yes mi blo mekeo’. The lady says, ‘mi blo kerema na yumi wan highway’. A tari buai seller chipped in and added the hoddo hegg, ‘em no mekeo ya, em karu ya’ to which the Kerema Mori looked one more time at the ‘acting mekeo guy’ for confirmation. Lofty convinced her with ‘em orait, mi mix mekeo, kerema na tari’. All three went away happy.
Lalokau honey
Romances have different endings. Love saps, love snaps and love naps. One lady got a text from her taubada from guna guna times. The taubada said, ‘hi honey, how are you’. The lalokau texted back. ‘Am fine, my honey is wiser than your money’. The taubada has since blocked the honeybee lalokau.
RATA TAP TAP
A lalokau kekeni was dating this Irish dude. They had a secret way to announce their arrival at each other’s house. When the woman came to Paddy’s home, she would have to knock three times and kick the door two times. But since their separation, she had forgotten the code red. Feeling lonely one day, she went to his rental apartment in Konedobu, rapped on the door 4 times and kicked the door so hard it flew off its hinges. When the tenant pulled the broken door open, she was surprised to see a half drunk lalokau standing on the porch.
RATA TAP TAP KICK
The angry lady of the house shouts ‘who do you think you are, kicking my door in, are you the police?’ Kekeni lalokau is horrified. ‘Oh, sori bada herea. Am looking for my bf, he used to live here.’ The angry mama calms down and asks for a name. ‘Paddy,’ says kekeni. The sinabada lectures kekeni on manners and why you should never throw your legs around without a radar guided system. She says ‘your paddy lives upstairs’. And poor Paddy is mortified when he gets the rata-tap-tap corner kick bill for the raptured door.
Working late
A man was always working late and the missus got pissed off and decided to teach him a lesson. On a Friday night, hubby sends the usual ‘working late’ message. Mama Mia is in a rage. She goes next door to her friend Natalie who has two wild dogs, takes them across and locks them in her yard. Takes the kids and goes off to her parents for the weekend, leaving the house is in total darkness.
Papa Kela’s troubles
Papa Kela finally arrives at home at 2 am after raiding all the black-market beer stalls on Ahuia Street. As the taxi rolls up, PK pays the driver with his last copper coin and literally falls out at his gate. Staggers up and fiddles with the lock, while calling out ‘darling, mi kam yah, mi kam’. Next minute the first dog, charges him as he is climbing over the fence. ‘Aiya Maria, kaikai lewa, em puppy blo husat?’ Next minute second puppy drags him by the trouser and he falls over and lands outside his fence where he is found fast asleep by Natalie’s hubby the next day.
Dogless, penniless and broke
Natalie’s husband removes their dogs, and PK is left locked, foodless, homeless and penniless outside his house for the whole weekend. When Maria and her kids finally arrived back home, they see their poor papa kela sitting under their home totally sober and staring up at the vaivai tree. From that day onward, ‘working late’ vanished from his lingo.
League winding up
This weekend is a big one for rugby league in PNG. On Saturday, at the Old PRL, now known as Santos Football Stadium, the PNG Prime Ministers XIII will take on the Australian PM’s XIII. In the days gone by when the stadium was upgraded to Lloyd Robson Oval, the spectacle of big games also attracted the PNG Skydiving Association. One day, the skydivers were led by their divemaster Grant Hoffmeister, ex Elcom PNG Power. Grant was an accomplished skydiver but on that day, he misjudged his approach from the Boroko market end. Grant cleared the big raintrees but misjudged his landing. Football was on hold for half an hour as medics picked up Grant and rushed him to PoM Gen where his broken leg healed and he made a successful recovery.
Nearly cooked alive
Boy roasted his kaukau over a fire he made. About 20 metres away, there was this large piece of land with dry grass which caught fire. Apparently, the fire made by the boy had slowly made its way to the grassland. The sudden roar of the flames catching onto the dry grass and smoke caught the attention of the family, who nearly roasted themselves alive, trying to put out the flames. They did not succeed.
Tuesday, September 29, 2026
Hard to understand
We just can accept the story that there is no one to sign off on the documents to allow our premium coffee beans to be exported overseas. The beans are sitting in Lae and the longer the delay, the beans will no longer be premium coffee, and we lose a lot of money, in fact millions of kina. We are told the National Coffee Authority is responsible for signing the documents. Why we changed a perfectly working Coffee Industry Corporation and set up this new one, is the question. And how long will it take to appoint an acting MD to run the NCA? The coffee people are watching.
Thrown out of hotel
We understand the Government provided K100 million for the Papua LNG Development Forum. Where is that money? Or how has that money been depleted so quickly? Landowners who were brought into POM for the forum are now being thrown out of hotels where they were accommodated.
COI into use of funds
The National Petroleum Authority manages that fund. It is calling all the hotels and service providers to a roundtable meeting to sort out the payment issue. It is not a roundtable conference we need, we reckon a Commission of Inquiry is needed here to investigate into how the K100 million disappeared and the people who were to benefit from this funding are left high and dry.
Only in milne bay
Gang in Milne Bay went on a crime spree on the North-Coast Highway over the weekend and escaped but not before they uploaded their pictures with their weapons on their Facebook page. That is not a smart thing to do when you are on the run from the police. The police know who they are and are looking for them.
Asking for help
Remember our story on the Lutheran mothers from Okapa who are stranded here in POM. This time they have written a letter to us, this time asking us to print their story again but make sure all their local MPs from Eastern Highlands know about their situation and come to their help. Anyone out there willing to help?
Shifting accountability
One of the biggest things that a manipulator does when they create a bad situation is to shift the accountability to you by reacting to your response, they do not talk about the wrong they did. You know of anyone that does that sort of thing? You are better off keeping away from them.
SACRIFICE PAYS OFF
For early morning breakfast, the packed lunches, the endless encouragement, and the quiet sacrifice every parent makes every single day has paid off when proud mother Mrs Maino walked up to embrace her daughter, Eunice Maino, who bagged the grade 12 Business Studies dux of the year at the 72nd grade 10 and 22nd grade 12 graduation ceremony at Mainohana Catholic School in Bereina, Kairuku District.
WORDS AND PICTURE BY MARK TALIA
Monday, September 28, 2026
You look ugly
Love can be a mama mia bugly. Sometimes husbands say things off the cuff and boom shakalaka, the wife’s favourite reminder missile the black sospan bounces off the hubby’s kebere. After a million stars, the matagalasi readjusted and papa kela is still counting the galaxy roll. And so this papa is a bit tipsy and looks at his wifey through the telescope and yells ‘you are ugly’. Twenty million stars later, mama mia puts her sospan away with a big smile on her face and responds, ‘well you too, your face looks like a carving’. Next day fada has a wounded head and mama has a black eye. But the ugly truth is their love still remains true.
Divorce backfires
A man thought it was a good idea to divorce his faithful, hardworking wife for a younger woman five years ago. At the time the man was employed on a road construction project in the Highlands. He had it all on the road, supervising construction with a pocketful of koble.
Last culvert
Then the final day arrived, the last culvert was laid, the machines were shut down, and the workers, including Mister Cool Guy were paid off and sent away. In a flash, the job for the man also wound up.
Goodbye father bob
A few weeks after construction termination, the sweet mama mia packed her bags and departed from the construction sight. Now Mister Cool Guy is trying to charm his way back to the first wife Jacklyn. Unfortunately, when you dump a good woman for a cash one, and then you get dumped by Cashlyn, certainly the first wife is not a fool. He is making trouble for his first wife’s family and is not listening to anyone. Stupidity at its best, we say.
K1000 for broken arm
The same man was having an affair with a married woman. One night he was trying to get into her house and the husband was there. He suffered a broken arm. He went to court blaming his former wife for his injuries and had police arrest her mother. When police wanted to charge her, the man wanted her to be released but only after he was compensated for his injuries. The mother paid K1000 because she just wanted to get away from the police station.
Lesson learnt
That fire could have spread and gutted homes and properties nearby, but it did not. After the bushfire burnt out, the community leader got everyone together and spoke to them with a strong warning, not to leave any outdoor fires unattended to for a long while. Kill all fires when the cooking is done, that was the message that day.
Salima special
If you enjoy the tropical island sounds of Salima Band, make it a must next Saturday, October 3, to be at the Holiday Inn. The beautiful sensual sounds of the sweet Salima of Kwato featuring the sultry Marie Ellingson, will be on fire from 6pm onwards. All funds raised will be for the SME mamas on Kwato Island. Come along, enjoy a glass of ranu mixed with woda, and let the sensual music of Salima take you on a wodary hiri kekeni journey down the Papuan Coastline.
Friday, September 25, 2026
Holding on for dear life
Lutheran mothers who were in POM for their National Conference had a lot of stories to tell. Many were on their first plane ride and also their first trip to Port Moresby. “I held onto the seat for dear life” was how one recalled her experience when the plane took off on the runway in Goroka. We all remember of first experience in an aeroplane.
Bigger than Goroka
And it was quiet another experience in Port Moresby. Many had heard about POM from stories from people who returned home from the city. “We seemed to go from one city into the next” as one described his travel from suburb to suburb. “And it’s really big”. It is certainly bigger than Goroka, EHP, where the man is from.
Please explain
Many of our table markets in the city involve people who survive from the income from these informal economic activities. The betelnut, cigarettes and small goods that are sold from the table markets represent the livelihood of those people. So, when police confiscate these goods, they usually take them away. Question is do they destroy the betelnut and all the other things they confiscate?
Food, betelnut disappear
We know drugs or sex objects or pornographic materials are destroyed, and media is invited to take photographs and write stories about this. We have never been invited by the city police to cover an event where these confiscated food stuff are destroyed. Perhaps the Police Boss in Port Moresby can tell us.
Barracks Markets
We are reliably informed that much of the confiscated goods are taken home by the cops for their own markets in the police barracks. These is outright stealing. Those cops who engage in such blatant thievery need to be sacked from the police force.
Friends meet up again
Two friends looked at each other in downtown BSP and the faded memories clicked. But age had done them a fair deal of greys and wrinkles. Even they had forgotten each other’s names. But in the bank nowadays, they call your name and you position yourself at the right section for service. Our friend was standing in the internet banking queue when he finally heard the name of his long lost poro. He just could not let him ‘escape’, so he left his own queue and intercepted his friend before he left the building.
Many years ago
Our long long mate was dating the other guy’s cousin sister. One day, our mate missed his plane at the old Mascord International Airport in Sydney. So, the poor bugger sat on the bench in the international lounge and promptly fell asleep thinking he was in his house in Boroko. The ex tambu was living in Sydney and he just happened to go to the airport to wait for a friend. Lo and behold, there was his countryman fast asleep snoring away. The x tambu woke our mate up. He was so startled that in his drunken stupor, he asked his tambu, ‘oi, na sis blo yu wei?’ That was 36 years ago.
Thursday, September 24, 2026
DEAD MAN WALKING
PNG has an endemic problem with dead people. We have big haus krais, big kaikais, and absolutely generous funerals. And then in many cases, the problems begin. Not only are the dead consulted for answers, but somehow, somewhere along the line, dead men by some amount of imagination come to life. Here we are wondering about this amazing phenomenon that occurs every fortnight, and every five years.
DEAD MAN’S PAY
Every year, dead people are still drawing a fortnightly pay. Some years ago, a complaint by a dead man’s widow revealed dead people were still on the government payroll. They were still drawing a fortnightly wage. The government put the payroll under the radar and upgraded its payroll system; however, the geeks have gotten smarter.
DEAD MAN VOTING
The National General Elections will be on in six months’ time. The clock is ticking down. But the perennial problems we face are still ongoing. The dead were still on the common roll for the last election, and the one before. The dead had a voice. The dead had a vote. The dead had direction in the outcome of many of the seats. Let use remind those who use dead man’s name to vote that they are cursed, and the curse will be upon their office and districts.
GHOST NAMES
In addition to dead man names, there are the inevitable ghosts that craft their way onto common rolls. Over many NGE voting, those people who use these tactics to double vote, triple vote, do so with impunity. What makes it easy is that the materials used to check and stop double voting. The PNGEC relies on indelible ink. But over the years, the humble lemon tree has had a song and dance to prove that fingernail dipped in voter ink can be easily erased.
CHURCHLESS VOTER
In 2012, a man who lived in Erima went to vote. At the Catholic Church, he was told he was not registered. He went to the next voting venue, next to the Gordon SDA Church. No name, so we went to the United Church venue. No name. So the electoral officer said, go to the polling venue at Marimari church. The man refused and went home. His wife asked, so papa, did you vote? The father was flabbergasted. He reflected sadly. I live among all these churches but none of them have me on their common roll. The wife laughed and said, that’s because you never go to church.
UPDATED TO VOTE
In 2022, the man was living in Boroko and checked online to see where he was registered to vote. Lo and behold, the poor bugger was registered in Moresby North-east. And the roll was updated from 2017 tuh duh. So our poro rolled up to vote at the Gordon Police Barracks. The wife asked, so papa did you finally vote? He said, yes I did! The wife laughed and said, you still need to go to church love. Both of them are now separated.
CAUGHT BY THE GHOST
A ghost voter was once caught at a polling venue by a police commander. The cop, an inspector by rank but a tough cookie, was a small guy and the ghost was a big guy. But the voter could not raise a finger as the small cop dragged him out of the line. The big boy was given a choice, you point out all your fellow ghosts and double voters, or be sent direct to Bomana. The big boy said, all the ghosts and doubles have the names written on their palms. The inspector instructed his cops to read the palms of the voters. Over one hundred ghosts were busted and palmist were dusted. The big guy and his ghost choir had their knuckles busted with a police baton and were sent away. Case closed.
GAS FIRE SPRINT
A mama sitting outside a service station in Kone was busy selling her hoddo heggs and scones. Her friend was selling ice block. It was evening. Next to them were gas bottles. A man passing by was trying to light his cigarette. After a few unsuccessful clicks on his lighter, the mama mia shouted, oi yu, gas bodol stap, yu go long wei, nogud yumi ologeda bai blow up! At the same time, a big truck drove in and release its air brakes. On hearing the loud hiss, the smoker fled the scene thinking he had sparked a disastrous fire. The two ladies burst out laughing.
Wednesday, September 23, 2026
K5 million relief to Manus
Can someone in the know in Manus tell us whether the Government had delivered the K5 million that was promised to the islanders by the Prime Minister who visited the communities impacted by the pumice from the submarine volcanic eruptions recently? If the money was given, then we need an update on how that money was used. We ask because the same community would be needing help from the El Nino induced drought that is drying up all water sources on the islands in the Islands region. If they did not see any help from that volcanic situation, what guarantee do they have that they will see any help from the El Nino.
Very very dry
Villages on Los Negros Island are now seeking relief from the only navy base on the island. The Lombrum Seadler Naval Base has a water tank supplied by bore means. All roads lead to Lombrum base. The locals have no other source of water. Los Negros is just a small island that has no major river or creek. All other water sources are dry.
K300 million relief
On relief aid, can someone tell us whether the government drew down the K300 million obtained from the World Bank to fund relief operations for El Nino impacted communities across PNG? The supplementary budget did not include that money, so we have to assume that the World bank loan is different from the funds raised internally.
Flu pandemic
There is a new flu variant that is going around POM. When you catch this, you will know because it comes with diarrhoea. And we were dealing with one that everyone found to be resistant to treatment. Perhaps someone in the health sector can explain this. Hopefully this is not another COVID-19 variant.
Police raid in Kone
The NCDC police came around to Konedobu yesterday and raided the market on the road to Newtown. They loaded all the betelnut, food, even the lamb flaps and market tables onto a dyna truck and took them away. No one was arrested so none of those things would be kept as court exhibits. We wonder what they will do with the betelnut and foodstuff.
Hide and seek game
While we find that such a raid borders on human rights concerns, we also noticed that many of the vendors took off into the settlement when the police went about their work. After they left, the vendors returned and went back to business. It is this hide and seek game that is frustrating the police, if we may say so.
Call us
There are 600 islands in this country, all or most of them are inhabited by people. We are told that the Duke of York Islands in East New Britain have run out of water, due to the dry spell. We are sure other islands are facing the same water situation. If any of you on these islands are faced with any water or food situation brought on by the El Nino, please call 70304693 to tell us your story. We can run it in this newspaper to get the attention of the authorities.
Tuesday, September 22, 2026
Nail extension job
Scribe had her nail extension or nail enhancement work done yesterday. She was so please with the job, she proudly showed her new fingernails to everyone. It was when she sat down to do her work when she encountered the first problem. She could not type her news story. The long fingernails were in the way. Later, she found out going to the loo would also be a struggle. She is now struggling to pull out the artificial nails from her fingers.
Definition of corruption
“Corruption is when you vote for your best friend to be class captain na yu yet stap lo backside na mekim noise”. We found this on a popular district forum on WhatsApp. That is one way to look at corruption, we say.
Drama kings and queens
And talking about social media, one guy pulled out of FaceBook for a while now. When his friends asked why he left the popular social media platform, his answer was “there are too many drama kings and queens on Facebook. I don’t need their kind of drama in my life”. There is some truth in this assessment.
Dramas drummers and daramas
A young man responding to debate on the FB owner Suga baga’s plan to shut down FB in PNG, said he agreed because there are too many KPPs in PNG. His friend said what does KPP stand for, he replied: Kanakas, Primitives and Pigs. The other chap was thinking of the other more common swear word definition.
Money for El Nino
Prime Minister James Marape announced a K2.5 million El Nino relief package for all districts. On top of that another K2.5 million will be released to the provincial governments. We have between 50,000 to 70,000 people in many of our districts and the math works out to K35,000 max for each person in a district. Let’s hope the DDAs distribute the money properly to the people.
Sinkholes in districts
Our people must keep the DDAs in check and make sure that this money does not disappear into sinkholes and bloated administration in the districts, like in the past. We also have to make sure that relief supplies must go to everyone who needs the food. We are sure there are some greedy people who are already keeping a close eye for this money.
BANKING ON A RESTART
A man was recently recalled to work and realised his banking details were not up to date. So, before he went to his office, he sidetracked into PNG’s biggest bank BSP and PNG’s oldest bank Westpac to update his details. At BSP the queue stretched outside the main entrance. At Westpac, the queue was short but there was only one hardworking office serving the clients. The man breezed through the Red Haus and moved up the road to the Green Haus. He cleared the hurdle in record time.
DRY SPELL IS REAL
El Nino effect is taking its toll on local vegetation with no rainfall. Pictured is an arid area along the Doa road in Kairuku district. PICTURE: MARK TALIA.
Monday, September 21, 2026
Beating the heat
El Nino induced dry weather is now becoming a serious problem for families everywhere. Water rationing is forcing parents to monitor shower time for their kids. Unlike before El Nino, some kids today cannot take a shower whenever they like, or parents cannot water their food and flower gardens at home. For three-year-old Cliford Mollomb (pictured), his mother found a way to help him beat the heat. She filled her huge cooking pot with water from Goldie River so that he can take a dive any time he feels the need to beat the city heat.
Argument over daka
It used to be an argument over buai, especially between couples. When the supply runs short, wife would argue with husband to share the single nut they have left. Today it is not over the nut, couples are arguing and nearly coming to blows over Daka (mustard). This couple we know of went at it tooth and nail over a tiny piece of daka like the thumb of their finger.
Mr ‘Half I kam’
Mr ‘Half I kam’, that will be your name. So shouted the wife to her husband. Oh yeh, yu no save askim mi long buai or daka (oh yeh, you never ask me for a buai or mustard)” replied the man, getting ready to jump out of the way should a stick or stone comes flying in his direction. Their son had to step in and give up his mustard for the fighting couple.
Cursing in Tok Ples
At a table market in Kone, a well-known and much loved vendor was all worked up, calling a wantok all sorts of names all because she (wantok) did not inform her she was selling mustard. The mother let go a very colourful tirade in her local vernacular, unbeknown to her customers. One dweller, however, was able to pick up the local language, quietly listening to vendor telling her wantok that everyone who lives with her, eat from her pot and get busfare from her, and what she did was ugly. She had customers buying her betelnut and when her outburst came , no one could understand a word of what she was saying.
Sports vs home responsibilities
Sporting events is a way to celebrate special days like Independence Day, however, whatever sporting event is played, it should not take over one’s responsibilities at home, like what these two brothers found out last week. “Volleyball i go, i go na hangre nau ah. Nogat wara, nogat paiawood, yumi slip nating (Play volleyball on and on, you are hungry now. We have no water or firewood to cook. There is no dinner for us)” the mother scolded her sons.
Stressful calls
Man in POM blocked his wife’s phone number. The wife called her children to find out if her husband’s phone was working. Dad’s phone is good; they told their mum. “Why na mi no get through long en (Why and I could not get through to him)?” the wife tells their kids, who checked with their father. “She is stressing me out with the problems from the village” the man replied. We are sure there are many others here in POM who want to do the same.
Gloria the pig
Gloria broke out of her pen on Saturday and went scavenging for fresh water, grass and leaves because she had been a stock feed diet. Everyone was calling her name as they tried to rope her in and put her back in the pen. Young chap who was visiting though they were trying to rope in a girl or woman and was truly surprised when it turned out to be a huge pig. Welcome to Simbu, where pigs and all pets get names.
Friday, September 18, 2026
Repaying the loan
While everyone was out celebrating the country’s 51st Independence Day Anniversary, there were some people who went to work at Lae’s ICTSI Tidal Basin. When asked why? They said, “well, someone has to work hard to repay the outstanding loans (debt) PNG has”. The debts are huge; we urge everyone to do their bit to repay that money.
Ela beach noisy
Everywhere in Port Moresby, the independence celebration went well and ended well, but not at Ela Beach. The noise level was so bad well into the night, although the official program was over early in the day, making it so hard for residents in the area to get their rest. This is the sort of behaviour that can give a bad name to us because there are a few top hotels close by. We urge the police to shut the noise down by 7.30 pm this week.
Who was right?
We have just celebrated 51 years as an independent State. Check this out and ask yourself.
Independence or dependence
Being independent means being self-reliant. This means you take care of all your own needs. There are many of us here who went out proudly in our PNG colours and celebrated the Independence Day with everyone. Shame on you if you are an adult and living with your parents or depending on others to survive. Obviously you have not grasped the full meaning of Independence.
Drunk on Independence Day
Vehicles on the road to Nine-Mile on Wednesday night moved at a snail’s pace. It was frustrating for many motorists who were on their way home with their families after celebrating the Independence Day in the city. The culprit was a drunken driver who ran into another vehicle. A drunken man was doing his level best to explain to the police why he was on the road with alcohol. To the Police, we say lock him up and throw the key away, if you have not done it already.
Big thank you 1
And a big thank you to the Policemen and women who were on duty all of this week to keep the city free of trouble. Port Moresby celebrated an accident-free celebration after a long while. This is police work at its best, keeping the citizens safe while keeping the criminals indoors.
Thursday, September 17, 2026
National Pledge
We pay homage to our cultural heritage, the source of our strength. We pledge to build a democratic society based on justice, equality, respect and prosperity for our people.
We pledge to stand together as one people, one nation, one country. God bless Papua New Guinea.” In case we forget.
Expensive costumes
Getting into traditional costumes for a singsing in the city is a real nightmare for many people, especially parents who have children in schools. At every independence celebration or cultural day in schools, the children want to get into their traditional gear. And the parents do go out of their way to make sure that their children do get dressed up properly. And they spare no expenses. In some cases, the hire of this traditional bilas can cost up to K600 per set for one day only.
Lottery prediction comes true
A US man’s longstanding prediction finally came true when he won a $1.5 million lottery prize from a Lotto 47 Double Play drawing. The 74-year-old Oakland County man told Michigan Lottery officials: “I play Mega Millions, Powerball, and Lotto 47 regularly and have always told my girlfriend that one day I was going to win big,” the winner said. “She always checks my tickets for me, so right after she found out I’d won, she called me and said: ‘You really did it! You won the lottery!’ When she told me how much I’d won, I was stunned!”
Locked in the toilet
Media executive going to a meeting at another office went to the toilet. Going in was easy and after he has completed his business, he tried getting out and he realised that something was wrong. He wanted to call his colleague but found that he had left his phone outside. He was starting to sweat when the door opened and the lady outside explained how he could get in and out. It would be nice for someone to show how it is done to first time visitors to that office or have the instructions displayed for all to see.
Questions for PNGEC
Is everything all right at the PNG Electoral Commission? We ask because we really do not have any idea whether this important agency of government is ready to conduct the 2027 elections. Questions we have sent to the PNGEC about the election preparedness has gone unanswered for weeks now.
Common Roll
Talking about elections, we are already into September, and the Common Roll update is still pending. That exercise alone is also a national event which will cover the entire country and extending into villages in some of the remotest part of the country. We fix the Common Roll, we fix the elections, simple as that.
Returned after 132 years
A New Hampshire library in the US said a patron will not have to pay a $12,055 fine for returning a magazine checked out 132 years earlier. The Conord Public Library said a man named John recently came in to return a September 1894 issue of “The Century Illustrated Monthly.” John told librarians the magazine had been in his home for years, and he does not know how it wound up in his possession. The man said he decided to return it to the library after hearing about the facility’s current freeze on overdue fines. “Thankfully, he won’t have to pay the $12,055 fine for being 48,220 days overdue,” the library said on social media.
Manufied by manu bird
By now our little friend Manu was very manufied. He was very quiet. His three friends were waiting for his tamana to arrive with the bilum of red coins. Ia Manu, akara haraga! You know boys, he finally said. My father already got the gold medal. His friends were mummified, and wide-eyed, like kiau fares. Manu continued confidently: We are all from Central Province and when my father calls Central Bank, the receptionist answers the phone and says yes sir boss, welcome to Central Bank, your gold medals are very safe! Happy Father’s Day to all the bankers, especially if your son’s name is Manu Bird.
Rugby league school
Over the years the school has grown and has delivered some of the best rugby league players in the Pacific. Their football team, DCA Bulldogs was one of the greatest forces in Port Moresby rugby league and faces of pure adrenaline powered entertainment in the sport.
Home of tiger
Our fada tiger is a proud product of Porebada Primary school, where he spent 7 years, prep and primary years. Fada Tiger finished Year 6 in 1978 with Dairi Kovae and went onto Iarowari boys high school. He remembers singing four different national anthems, God Save The Queen, Advance Australia Fair, O’ Arise and the fourth one being the famous Papuan call sung in Hiri Motu, Papua Oi Natumu.
Tuesday, September 15, 2026
National Pledge
We pay homage to our cultural heritage, the source of our strength. We pledge to build a democratic society based on justice, equality, respect and prosperity for our people.
We pledge to stand together as one people, one nation, one country. God bless Papua New Guinea.” In case we forget.
Expensive costumes
Getting into traditional costumes for a singsing in the city is a real nightmare for many people, especially parents who have children in schools. At every independence celebration or cultural day in schools, the children want to get into their traditional gear. And the parents do go out of their way to make sure that their children do get dressed up properly. And they spare no expenses. In some cases, the hire of this traditional bilas can cost up to K600 per set for one day only.
Locked in the toilet
Media executive going to a meeting at another office went to the toilet. Going in was easy and after he has completed his business, he tried getting out and he realised that something was wrong. He wanted to call his colleague but found that he had left his phone outside. He was starting to sweat when the door opened and the lady outside explained how he could get in and out. It would be nice for someone to show how it is done to first time visitors to that office or have the instructions displayed for all to see.
Questions for PNGEC
Is everything all right at the PNG Electoral Commission? We ask because we really do not have any idea whether this important agency of government is ready to conduct the 2027 elections. Questions we have sent to the PNGEC about the election preparedness has gone unanswered for weeks now.
Common Roll
Talking about elections, we are already into September, and the Common Roll update is still pending. That exercise alone is also a national event which will cover the entire country and extending into villages in some of the remotest part of the country. We fix the Common Roll, we fix the elections, simple as that.
Manufied by manu bird
By now our little friend Manu was very manufied. He was very quiet. His three friends were waiting for his tamana to arrive with the bilum of red coins. Ia Manu, akara haraga! You know boys, he finally said. My father already got the gold medal. His friends were mummified, and wide-eyed, like kiau fares. Manu continued confidently: We are all from Central Province and when my father calls Central Bank, the receptionist answers the phone and says yes sir boss, welcome to Central Bank, your gold medals are very safe! Happy Father’s Day to all the bankers, especially if your son’s name is Manu Bird.
Rugby league school
Over the years the school has grown and has delivered some of the best rugby league players in the Pacific. Their football team, DCA Bulldogs was one of the greatest forces in Port Moresby rugby league and faces of pure adrenaline powered entertainment in the sport.
Home of tiger
Our fada tiger is a proud product of Porebada Primary school, where he spent 7 years, prep and primary years. Fada Tiger finished Year 6 in 1978 with Dairi Kovae and went onto Iarowari boys high school. He remembers singing four different national anthems, God Save The Queen, Advance Australia Fair, O’ Arise and the fourth one being the famous Papuan call sung in Hiri Motu, Papua Oi Natumu.
Great kumul products
DCA also produced a string of Kumul players starting with the late Kumul forward Tara Gau, Arebo Taumaku, Mea Morea, and the first ever homegrown superstar to play in the ARL’s Sydney rugby league. His side stepping and speed was such that he is the only dual clubber ever to play for Sydney Bears and Newcastle Knights.
Monday, September 14, 2026
September 16 was national day
One year before Independence in 1975, September 16 was known as National Day. In 1974. Michael Somare was not Prime Minister yet. He was the chief minister as PNG was still a territory under Australian colonial rule. And so, 365 days later, National Day became Independence Day and Somare became PNG’s first Prime Minister.
Kicking tee lessons
We congratulate the Rabaul Gurias on their convincing 26-14 win over the Mendi Muruks in yesterday’s PNG domestic national rugby league championship grand final. Notable were the referee’s calm and cool control, the even calmer supporters, and the strong south easter breeze. The kicker and his kicking tee were blown to pieces several times.
Sand boys and sand flies
All rugby games should be played the way yesterday’s grand final started and ended. Hats off to the Gurias and Muruks players for a fluid display of sportsmanship. The sand flies in the crowd did the right thing by keeping to their seats, waving their flags and supporting in the true spirit of unity in sports. Next year should be a good one. We only ask that the sand boys be brought back to hold up the Steeden for kick off, goal kicks and penalty shots.
Hiri moale sand boys
Down at the Sir Hubert Murray stadium, the Hiri Moale was crowned with the Hiri Hanenamo for this year with a sideline corner kick. The same breeze was ruffling through the stadium and the ball boys in the crowd were all balled up for the grass skirt swaying of the young hiri hanenamos. Unfortunately, the Bogebada lookouts were blinded by the Haidana Island sea spray as the big eagle turned its mighty crab claws into Fairfax Harbour.
Hiri’s Elema connection
Last week’s start of the Hiri Moale festival in Port Moresby was tinted by the Elema people from the Gulf of Papua. Without their forefathers and their lifesaving sago, the Aromas, Motuans and Kairukus could not have survived the lean years of the Hiri calendar. Thanks to NCDC Governor Powes Parkop and MKA chairman Russell Wavik, the Elemas were part of the sea spray salt tinged celebrations.
Elema sago making
Sago making is a speciality in the Gulf of Papua, Western and Sepik provinces. The Elemas from Kerema were in their element when they brought a couple of sago trees for an exhibition of poi nangu snookering at the stadium. The Poi Nangu snooker team sponsored by CSH would have been proud of their people and their skilful hollowing out of the sago poi trunk by the men in record time. The expert women added the finishing touches Kerema stylio and dinner was ready to be served with hake poiliscious.
On the drip
Son called his family in POM and told them that mum was sick but found that no one believed him. He then got a plastic bag, filled it with water, told his mother who was sleeping on her mat outside the house, to hold on to the plastic bag with a rope dangling to the ground. He took a picture and sent it by phone to his sister. Everyone was on the phone, calling their mother. They made her day.
Dancing 51 questions
This one is a thought of an Elema girl who asked the question profusely and sincerely. What is PNG celebrating 51 years of Independence for? We have been colonised by Britain, Germany, and Australia and other parts were briefly occupied by Japan during the World War II. Now PNG is Colonised by ‘CORRUPTION.’ Once we unshackle our great country from CORRUPTION will we be truly ‘Independent’. Our mori was last seen doing the crocodile isapea walk with her taubada for a Walk For Freedom event.
Friday, September 11, 2026
Getting it wrong
The PNG colours are coming out everywhere. From shirts to laplaps and bilums, the mothers are making sure that we celebrate our big day in our true colours. It would seem some people were really in a rush to take advantage of our Independence anniversary celebrations with their merchandise and got it wrong. Instead of 51st they have on their shirts, 51th.
Lucky ride home
Girl attending a school outside of POM had no PNG colour shirt to wear yesterday when her school had an early independence celebration. On Wednesday afternoon her uncle came to the city and bought her a shirt; however, he could not get back home because the PMVs had stopped running. Too bad, the girl has to go without the shirt. While the young man was trying to find a place to stay for the night, he came upon the parked car with a classmate at the back. He got the shirt to her on time. There are still some good people around in POM city.
Beer over job
A guy disappeared from the workplace so early in the day without telling anyone. After he was gone, there was a problem that only he can solve at the office and all attempts to locate him failed. When they went to his home the next morning, he was fast asleep, too drunk to get up. The boss is contemplating whether to sack him or keep him on. The things our people do for alcohol.
Early Campaign
Prime Minister James Marape and his entourage travelled the new transnational highway from POM to Lae, then up the Highlands Highway. The convoy of vehicles is raising eyebrows, with many people calling it an early campaign gimmick. Let’s run this by Dr Nicole Haley and her team at PNGEC to see what they say.
Massive deferred bill
Building more roads is fine, we agree our people in remote places deserve to be connected to the outside world. The roads will surely change their lives. We note, however, that we are building more roads when we are incapable of fixing the existing roads in the country. We are adding more to the back log in deferred maintenance bill which stands at K45 billion. Phew. Too much money.
Shorts got caught
In POM a young man was climbing over the school fence to get into the school ground to see the independence celebration. By the uniform he wore, the bystanders could clearly see that he was from another school, so they called the security guards. The student jumped down when the guards arrived but left his shorts hanging on the wire fence. He landed and fled naked, much to the amusement of everyone.
On the drip
Son called his family in POM and told them that mum was sick but found that no one believed him. He then got a plastic bag, filled it with water, told his mother who was sleeping on her mat outside the house, to hold on to the plastic bag with a rope dangling to the ground. He took a picture and sent it by phone to his sister. Everyone was on the phone, calling their mother. They made her day.
50 toea game
An old chap was at the village market to buy betelnut when a group of four people invited him to a card game. He refused, saying he had only 50 toea for a betelnut. The four insisted he joined them to bring the number to five for the game to proceed. They even promised to give his money back should be lose. Ten games later, the old chap cleaned everyone out, got on the PMV bus and headed for the nearest bottleshop.
Thursday, September 10, 2026
PANADOL NOT PARACETAMOL
At Laloki, the cold winds have been having some alluring effects on the paranormal minds of the local population. Feeling unwell of late, a patient of the hospital approached the on-duty doctor for a prescription for headache, pain and fever. Doc obliged and wrote on the paper ‘paracetamol’. The patient went long long. He threw the paper back at the medic. Doc asked, ‘oi what is this madness?’ The angry patient shouted back, ‘dokta you long long o mi kava kava o yumi tupla madness? You spelim Panadol wrong.’ The medic collected the prescription and noted ‘paracetamol’. Muffling a kasty kake lareva sound check, he crossed out Paracetamol and added ‘give Kake Savori Panadol mixed with a dolly tinpis’. Nurses are still looking for Kake Savori Lofty. Case closed.
WRONG NUMBER
Our eagle eyed lenseman Leggy Legumes recently legged himself out of the doctor’s ward rounds. Resuming work a few weeks ago, the legend got a welcome back electric shock of a lifetime. A day ago, a former politician called his mobile number and continually addressed him as chairman. After a few leggy pokes, our lenseman logged out from the visitor with ‘wrong number’.
LIFE IS A PRECIOUS GIFT
While hospitalised in the POMGen Cat Lab for hearty heart patients, our lensman almost checked out as Mister Beep. He recalls there were so many monitors that in there, you will be lulled to sleep and wake up to beeping sounds like cats purring loudly with a fart every now and then. It sounds like you’re in the space lab or flying around in outer space.
EAT HEALTHY
His hearty advice to avoid the cat lab meoow meoow is to do away with sugar, fizzy drinks, lem fleps and tosis grease, eat healthy and stay healthy with exercise. Mr Legs stresses that garden food, greens is the best way to beat canned and stuff that clogs up our internal systems. Always gobble clean water on a daily basis.
OLDIE OLD MUSIC
An old doc, stuck on old country and western, was doing ward rounds when he happened to be in the Cat Lab. On seeing the new medics shovelled out to a heart patient, the old head shrinker, took one look at the tablets and shook his head in disbelief. He recalls in his days, the magic was less and a lot more bitter. A bit of country music helped the seeds down the pipe.
ALWAYS CHECK YOUR BACKSIDE
In a high-rise office, the big boss man was in a kake gageva hurry. He flew to the long drop and after almost an hour, came huffing and puffing through the feel good lareva exit. His relieved demeanour caught the attention of his mahari mahari staff. As he turned to exit his mafu office, his staff all muffled a metere metere giggle. One co-worker coughed and reminded the boss man that he had failed to disconnect the supply line chain. Sure, enough the red-faced boss found a long enough ‘tail’ of tissue on his backside.
FATHERS DAY FEE
Our overpaid teachers are becoming robbers themselves on a daily basis. From expecting free meals delivered to them by students, to teacher day presents, daily bus fare collections to buai smuk assistance. The latest episode includes a teacher demanding K5 from students for the man to celebrate Father’s Day. That is simply preposterous.
JUST A BUSH TRACK
The so-called new road from Lae to Port Moresby is a welcome addition to the land scape. But is it a highway? No, it’s not. It’s just a bush track. To be formally recognised as a highway, it must be graded, drained, culverted, bridged and permanently sealed preferably with concrete for long lasted travel.
WAITING FOR THE RAIN
Now is El Nino drought so it is unlikely for rain to wash away the red soil. But during that dry season, Department of Works and its contractors must put in the finishing touches. PNG’s longest highway, the Okuk Highway is already a nightmare. Broken in many places, with many old one lane bridges, potholes, landslides, it constantly needs urgent rivers. These repairs never fix its never-ending problems. The same will become of the Lae Moresby Road when the hype dies down and the government realises a bush track will fall apart with no permanent plan.
Wednesday, September 9, 2026
Meeting lazy people
Port Moresby resident went to the village to spend some time with family. Every day, people came to his house to meet him, and they have their stories to tell. All the stories led to one thing - they want him to give them money. Three days later, he told one of his closest relatives that the village is no longer the same. Yes, the relative replied. We have more lazy people here than in the past, was the reply.
When saying no is hard
The man is contemplating what he should do, to spend the rest of his holiday in the village or return to Pom. He knows that if he stayed on, he would become poorer and poorer by the day but if he should return, he would not spend enough time with his parents, the main reason why he went home to the village. His father had a simple answer to his dilemma. Just tell them to get lost. Easier said than done but our man has to do something quick.
Justice served
So, the kidnappers in Western Province who killed one of their victims, a young girl and held the other for ransom have been shot dead. Two wrongs don’t make it right but, in this case, justice was served by the police, they say. People who live and behave like animals do not deserve to be treated like human beings.
Unanswered questions
The death of the crocodile keeper at Adventure Park must become a subject for a Commission of Inquiry. There are several issues that remain unresolved like why did it take too long for the man to be freed from the crocodile?
Emergency service response
Why did it take long for the police to arrive? Why did it take too long for the ambulance service to arrive? When he was taken to hospital on the day of the incident, he was still alive. He died the next day. Was it from loss of blood? Did the croc damage some internal organs? Did the hospital do everything to save the man? Surely the relatives would want some answers.
kroko dires ara he re!
In the riverine provinces of Gulf, Western, and Sepik, the crocodile has his place in the rivers and swamps. The people there have lived with crocs all their lives. The reminder is always : never swim with a crocodile.
Crocodile rock 1
Isapea or Komara is the apex predator of the river and swamp. It is an ambush predator and uses camouflage to its advantage, keeping still in murky waters or lunging from reeds. Local knowledge is important. Stay away from the river’s edge. Komara is always lurking at the river’s edge. Check your surroundings for crocky presence..
Crocodile rock 2
Crockies are very active at dusk, night and dawn. Don’t establish a predictable pattern when washing, fetching water or doing laundry. Crocs learn human patterns and wait to ambush. Keep pets and children away from the water’s edge.
Crocodile rock 3
Never touch a live crocky. It may be your first and last touch. If a crocky touch you back, your best chance to escape its clutches is to gouge at its eyes. Remember, salties (saltwater crocs) are larger and most dangerous during nesting season, starting September, October, November when mothers guard their nests.
Tuesday, September 8, 2026
ONLY IN ALOTAU 1
Tamada wai laik dis. Those size 28s in Kapole Hinage Arotau, they have their own version of buai maus hinglish. So if you are in Arotau, do what the size 28s do, skin a bua, chew a fere, and dream with a buai maus. You will love their sense of humour, happy faces and ewa det wan hao fluency in Hinglish. And watch out for that notorious six pocket eyes hidomo Sixx Ccube. He might six you and you’ll end up on Sariba Island with Uncle Wagu and get sixed again.
ONLY IN ALOTAU 2
Our frangipani was flowing with the Sanderson Bay breeze in dusty Alotau for her holidays. Buai here, buai there, buai
everywhere. But you notice that despite the buatau all over the city, Mirin Beis are size 29 cleanest. Everywhere, you will be greeted with smiling faces, watermelon seeds and harou harou Mirin Bei style: clean, cleaner, cleanest. So our city
girl was very impressed. Wai laik dis clean.
ONLY IN ALOTAU 3
A fifteen-seater bus in Alotau was on its way to town from West Gurney when the bus crew made an unusual announcement, “Okay this announcement is for passengers
from Waigani (A village about 20 kilometers away from town), from today onwards, yu pipols, No More Dinau! When I ask for busfare u pipol say ‘Dinau’ and never pay
making it go go and not lon I will slaps up to one of you!” (When I ask for busfare you say ‘Dinau’ (credit) and never pay, you keep doing that and soon I will slap one of you).
However, before he could slap uncle, some buai and daka was pressed into his collection basket. Ewa det wan he almost cry for his bus fares.
SIMPLY THE BEST
Sunday was Father’s Day. At a family gathering, the mama mia of the house got so carried away over the billy ocean
trying to sing a love song for her lalokau hubby mage banana. At the end of her rendition of ‘Endless Love,’ she stepped backward, missed her footing and plunged right into the Tamana Day cake. Rising up, her face covered in cake, she grabbed the mike again and finished with a flourishing ‘better than all the rest’. Better off being sober than tipsy babe, said the happy tamana, which sparked the kake gageva fireworks.
HAPPY TAMANA DAY
Four little Central kids were discussing their fadas on Father’s Day. Kid 1 said his dad deserved a medal because he is a teller at Westpac, the country’s oldest bank. Kid 2
said his dad deserved a medal because his dad works at BSP, the country’s richest bank. Kid 3 said his dad works in the Kina Bank and GG is his Nambawan customer and definitely his father’s name will be on the knighthood list.
MANUFIED BY MANU BIRD
By now our little friend Manu was very manufied. He was very quiet. His three friends were waiting for his tamana to
arrive with the bilum of red coins. Ia Manu, akara haraga! You know boys, he finally said. My father already got the gold medal. His friends were mummified, and wide-eyed, like kiau fares. Manu continued confidently: We are all from Central Province and when my father calls Central Bank, the receptionist answers the phone and says yes sir boss, welcome to Central Bank, your gold medals are very safe!
Happy Father’s Day to all the bankers, especially if your son’s name is Manu Bird.
HAPPY 70TH ANNIVERSARY
Today is a special day for a special village on the Papuan Coastline with a rich history in our country. Seventy years ago, a HB pastor was posted to Porebada village outside Port Moresby. That pastor noted that the village was growing but it had no school. The closest schools were at Manumanu and Hanuabada. And so that HB pastor Reatau Mea was the man creditied with bringing the first ever Porebada Area school in 1956.
RUGBY LEAGUE SCHOOL
Over the years the school has grown and has delivered some of the best rugby league players in the Pacific. Their football team, DCA Bulldogs was one of the greatest forces in Port Moresby rugby league and faces of pure adrenaline
powered entertainment in the sport.
GREAT KUMUL PRODUCTS
DCA also produced a string of Kumul players starting with the late Kumul forward Tara Gau, Arebo Taumaku, Mea Morea, and the first ever homegrown superstar to play in the ARL’s Sydney rugby league. His side stepping and speed was such that he is the only dual clubber ever to play for Sydney Bears and Newcastle Knights.
HOME OF TIGER
Our fada tiger is a proud product of Porebada Primary school, where he spent 7 years, prep and primary years.
Fada Tiger finished Year 6 in 1978 with Dairi Kovae and went onto Iarowari boys high school. He remembers singing four
different national anthems, God Save The Queen, Advance Australia Fair, O’ Arise and the fourth one being the famous Papuan call sung in Hiri Motu, Papua Oi Natumu.
Thursday, September 03, 2026
MISTAKEN IDENTITY
A British man flew into Nepal as a volunteer to support survivors of the flood. Upon arrival at a village, he was supposed to distribute relief items; he was met by Nepalese soldiers who asked for his details. Later on, in a press release, the army said they rescued a British man who also survived the floods. He had to explain to the international media bombarding him with questions that he was not rescued but was there as a volunteer. A case of miscommunication between him and the soldiers.
COLOuR OF LOVE
Some young kuku generation people were gathered around a badol of whiskey down by Ethel Island seaside. The boombox was retired for ukelele sounds. The strings of an old kapok kept the harmony and the laughter was getting loud. The jokes flowed freely as the local Gavera was humming to the lalokau beats hahaeeeee.
COLOURFUL OF LALOKAUS
The motuan sun was sinking in its golden red orb over Napa Napa. The badol was getting light and the pesky jokers were leaning toward Uncle Tom Jones for a loose roll of ‘kwalahu’(smoke) and a robust joke to kala the sunset. Uncle Tom clears his thirsty throat and fires his missile ‘okay hedilis, what is the kala of love?’ Black and white, gold, green, blues and maroons, grey list, red riding hood, Tamada wai laik dis size 28 purple, and the colors love of were still colouring.
KALAFUL MOMO YET
Finally, the colours of the rainbow ran out. And the breathless thirsty hanua boys got tired of Uncle Tom’s colouring competition. Just like Kasty Kake Lareva’s Secret Sound, the boys begged for the true colour of love so that they would know the right colour when their lalokaus asked them. Uncle Tom took the last drop of whiskey, look them all in the eye, laughed, got up, and announced, ‘usi hedilis, haoda diba lasi taudia, the colour of love is Billy Ocean!’ Uncle Tom was last seen swimming towards Tatana with ten drunk colour of loves in hot pursuit.
POOR SECURITY
The gold heist in Moresby yesterday raises some questions over movement of large sums of money and gold bars. Cash In Transit is a very risky business. It requires police involvement for maximum security and not just any security firm. CIT should be conducted using proper Armored Vehicles which have heavily armour-plated bodies and bullet and bomb proof glass. What we got were two ten-seaters and three firearms not enough firepower against 10 fully armed robbers.
AURA FARMING?
Dozens of young people gathered recently on a beach in Peru’s capital to dance, pose and show off their most creative moves — all in pursuit of one thing: aura. They were taking part in a so-called “aura battle,” a real-world spin on the Internet trend known as “aura farming” that is sweeping across Latin America. Aura farming competitions first emerged in Brazil and spread through social media. Now, teenagers and adults are holding aura battles across Latin America.
LOOKALIKE CONTEST
Hundreds of people gathered near New York City’s popular Washington Square Park Sunday to judge a Mayor Zohran Mamdani look-alike contest. The winner, Amadeo Fusca, was the crowd favorite, wearing a jersey for the NBA champion New York Knicks underneath a suit. Fusca also had a haircut and facial hair similar to Mamdani, taking home a $100 prize. Mamdani, a democratic socialist who took office in January, has amassed a large following on social media and among younger residents. The event was sponsored by the social media app, Sonder.
BLACK MARKET
Harvard Medical School says it agreed to pay $53 million to settle class action lawsuits by relatives of body donors whose remains were sold on the black market by its former morgue manager. Harvard Medical School Deans George Q Daley and Bernard S Chang announced the development in a letter to the community on Tuesday, calling the actions of former morgue manager Cedric Lodge “despicable, abhorrent, and a flagrant betrayal of our values as a medical community.” Pending court approval, Harvard said that two class action settlement funds totaling $53 million will be established to resolve the lawsuits.
DEADLY CAT
A UK man miraculously survived after sustaining a broken neck, fractured spine, smashed ribs, blood in his lungs and other “car crash” evoking injuries from - wait for it - tripping over his cat. “I can’t remember much, just falling fast - it was quick and it was over within seconds, then I was at the bottom,” victim Chris Rowley, 59, said. The freak “Apocalypse Meow” accident reportedly occurred while the Leicestershire-based professional musician was home alone with his hairless Egyptian sphinx kitten, Eric Morecambe. Disaster struck after the wrinkly kitty, latched onto one of its owner’s legs while coming down the stairs.
Monday, August 31, 2026
Forgo Indy Day
El Nino is here. The nation is under distress. The people are stressed. Leaders are pressed. In 15 days, we mark 51 years of Independence. But is it worth celebrating 50+1? Perhaps in light of the pain and misery we are undergoing, we should forego Indy Day and save the money to mitigate the real suffering that rural folks are feeling.
streams run dry
A country mouse reports that in one district, the creeks are dead, the streams are gone and the rivers are bubbling down to their last drops. Thirst is a real threat for humans and animals. The mouse and his relos are decamping for a far-off land where cheese is plentiful and life is cheerful.
rugby league png style
It started in Minj in Jiwaka, fans fighting fans and referees and their linesmen sprinting for cover. This footy madness crawled down the Hghland’s Highway to Goroka, then to Lae and flew over to Port Moresby yesterday. Makes us wonder whether we should be in the NRL. Maybe JT was right. We are still behaving like ‘primitives.’
ban football rogues
Every year we have banned players and football teams for fighting and assaulting match officials. In this day and age of technology, we must up the ante on thugs who hide in the stands and raid the playing field and trouble starts. CCTV and drones should be deployed at football matches to scan the crowds and lock up those primitives who invade the football pitches.
lock them up
A city mouse suggests the most extreme deterrent. The little mouse suggests that the perimeter fencing needs an extra two metres of reinforced steel to stop invasion forces. Those caught behaving like ‘kanakas’ should be caught by police and locked up in the local police cell. Spend a night telling stories with the inmates. Just to prepare for the next round of games. There are plenty of rats, cockroaches, geckos, ants and the occasional flying fox selling buai in there.
city’s drying hillsides
A group of women collecting firewood from the hill top top along Kouraway as the effects of the El Nino induced drought hits the city of Port Moresby. Other parts of the country are also feeling the pinch with food crops diminishing and creeks and rivers drying up.
Friday, August 28, 2026
Disaster service in wrong hands?
Can someone please explain why the National Disaster and Emergency Service is with Health Minister Dr Billy Joseph? The NDES was recently removed from the Provincial and Local Level Government Affairs Department and parked with the PNG Defence Force. We thought it will go to the Defence Minister, Elias Kapvore when Dr Billy was removed but this is not the case.
Light drizzle over POM
The light drizzle over Port Moresby has done wonders. The city was a lot cooler than in the past weeks, in some places, the kids are out trying to play in the wet, hoping to catch a proper rain. Hopefully this cool weather continues into the next few days.
Umbrellas came out
The umbrellas came out in Port Moresby yesterday, after they disappeared from the city for many months. The light shower was welcomed by everyone, and many opted to get wet but still there were others that went under their umbrellas.
Fight over too big
A fight broke out between a couple from an informal settlement recently. The matter ended up in the village court at Gordon. The Village Court magistrate handling the case asked the parties to tell the court why they fought. “Meri ya tok mi stupid na mipla fait (the wife called me stupid and we fought)” When the woman was asked, she said, “ I want my son to run an errand but he wanted to go so I told him he was “too big” for the task. He did not hear me properly”. Always listen carefully, they say.
BAPTISM of FIRE
Yesterday was PNG Remembrance Day in memory of the baptism of fire in a global conflict for our soldiers. On July 23, 1942, the Papuan Infantry Battalion (PIB), forerunner to the First Pacific Islands Regiment (1PIR) experienced its first “baptism of fire” at Awala on the northern end of the Kokoda Track. This historic skirmish marked the first time indigenous Papua New Guinea soldiers of the PIB engaged in battle on their native soil against invading Japanese forces.
Seeking answers
The social media has created opportunities for people to connect easily. There are many provincial forums that are being formed where issues of interests are discussed. Many of these forums are now being registered with IPA to give them a legal status. One such group put on a huge fund raising dinner recently in POM. It was reported that over K100,000 was raised from that dinner and a few days later, one of the executives took a loan of K10,000 from that fund raised. The members are kept in the dark on the status of the loan or how the funds from the fund raiser were spent. Perhaps the executives or the board of that group.
Mukuramanda jail
“In Paris, the Eiffel Tower was built in just over two years. The Sydney Harbour Bridge was built in 9 years. New York’s Brooklyn bridge was built in 14 years. In Egypt, the Great Pyramid of Giza took 20 years to complete. Construction of the Mukuramanda Correctional Facility (Mukuramanda) (in Enga) commenced in 1998 and, 28 years later, it remains unclear when it will be finished” Justice Graham Ellis - Wabag National Court yesterday.
Pigs -living currency
They are the living currency, important for cultural events and solve disputes. Western Highlands Governor Wai Rapa says this valuable commodity is feeling the impact of the El Nino, like the humans that look after them. Do we have any plans to relieve their sufferings?
Thursday, August 27, 2026
The Scientist
What is El Nino? So said a chap from Simbu when a few drops of rain fell down in his village recently. The guy went to the village telling everyone not to believe the scientists. Today, we hear, the same guy is looking for fresh, clean water for home use. His fellow villages have given him a new name - The Scientist.
Waghi River drying
News from his community tells a different story. The situation is so bad, the villagers are now flocking to the Waghi River, to wash and spend the day, joining other villagers from both sides of the river who have a thriving market selling food stuff and barbeques selling lamb flaps and sausages. The once mighty Waghi River has become a creek, the reports say.
Cooling down
Who is this chap that ran into a police roadblock recently and used the long drought as an excuse to get away? When the man, clearly under the weather, was asked what he was doing, the chap told the guys in blue that he was cooling down from the heat from the El Nino. Man, it’s getting so hot these days, he was muttering as he stepped out of his vehicle.
Betrayed by friend 1
A man gave a live pig away to a friend in need. He said he had a family obligation to settle a few years ago. The man gave willingly, not only because the guy was a friend, but he wanted to help the entire family. A few weeks later he learned that his friend slaughtered the pig he gave away and sold the cooked pork at the local market for cash. He was clearly upset because he felt betrayed.
Betrayed by friend 2
The same friend came around last week, to get help again. He must have thought what he did before was forgotten. The answer was a flat NO. He should not be surprised at all. As the popular saying goes, a man who betrays you once, will betray you a thousand times.
Suffering public ridicule
A young man in POM is fuming after he learnt that he was the subject of ridicule in the village the other day. The brother who was cursing and bad mouthing him in a public place was someone who arrived in the city unannounced and lived off him for two whole years before he was sent home. The reason, the elder brother of our guy in POM got drunk that day and did not share the beers. What a way to thank someone!
Something wrong with the year
This 2006 Maroon shirt was worn by an Aussi guy at one of the popular coffee shop at the Port Moresby Waterfront. The photographer, who is a diehard Maroons supporter, spotted the guy in the shirt and saw the year on the sleeves. It got him wondering whether the designers got the year wrong or our guy was wearing an old shirt in 2026.
Tuesday, August 25, 2026
KUMUL FLY
The Government’s innovative Kumul Cloud Infinity got a big nod on our front page. However, we forgot to mention that it will be hosted by super servers and computers housed within brand new state of the art office suites here in Port Moresby. The service will be available starting September 01 here in Port Moresby with a one-month free trial for existing Telikom customers.
RAINY LAE NEXT
The next phase of Telikom-Datec PNG’s nationwide roll out will be Lae in Morobe Province. According to the Group CEO of TelIkom, Amos Tepi, a similar setup will be done in Lae to cater for the mainland as they look to consolidate a national grid encompassing the entire country. We hope for a rainy Lae welcome to plug us into the clouds for some lifesaving rain.
KUMUL CLOUD INFINITY
Datec PNG chairman Moses Maladina says Kumul Cloud Infinity constitutes an entire ecosystem of servers, processors, computers, cooling system and reliable backup power generation. Maladina says that the infrastructure supporting the AI Datacenter has to be absolutely reliable, therefore the developers Datec, CloudSigma and Telikom have built multiple layers of power resilience into the facility.
AI AT HEART
At the heart of this infrastructure is advanced computing technology, including NVIDIA H200 CPU capability, designed specifically for the enormous computational requirements of modern AI, says Maladina. There you have, it will be AI powered.
ONE WAY
At the bottom of Davara Road is an intersection with Le Hunte road towards Koki Point near the old Sunset Lodge. This intersection is a difficult one for drivers coming downhill or going uphill. Downhill turning left to Le Hunte heading to Koki is one way. However, most vehicles travelling Le Hunte turning right into Davara Road most times try to use the one way exit instead of the bottom turn. This has resulted in several near misses.
TWO WAYS
Just up the bend on Davara Road is a Vaivai tree next to a Raintree. This used to be a favorite hiding spot for the men in blue. Many drivers were caught red handed trying to sneak up the one-way exit as an easy turn into Davara Road. One driver caught using the wrong way offered the following excuse, ‘missus blo mi laik karim pikinini na we kisim sot kat’. Problem is the hospital is at 3 Mile, and his vehicle was pointing up towards Lawes Roat. “Wrong direction,” said the cop, “na noken sot kat lo mekim baby!’
THREE WAYS
On Sunday arvo, we were right behind a Post PNG van that took the illegal short cut turning off Le Hunte and onto Davara Road heading up the mountain towards Lawes Road. Van number plate BFY 726 driver must be reminded that taking too many ‘sot kats’ is not good for your company’s mandate. NCDC, it’s time to review and remove this intersection which is a traffic hazard.
Monday, August 24, 2026
Best investments
The PNG Power Staff Savings and Loans Society was once upon a time an unknown little service. But in recent years, it has joined the superpowers of Superannuation, and Savings and Loans. The last couple of years, it has delivered record profit margins, thanks to prudent management and sound board foresight, PPSSL is paying first class dividends to its members.
sign up with pPssl
The PPSSL has in recent years opened its membership to outside workers. Any Tom, Dick, Harry, Mary, Garry, Terry, Barry and Ueri can sign up with Kake Savori and be part of one of the successful S&L in recent years. So a word of advice to fellow Papua New Guineans, Stop making foolish investments into scams that offer to quadruple your investment in an hour! Don’t believe that nonsense. Roll up to the Times Square building next to the Sir John Guise Stadium in Waigani. The PPSSL office is on the first floor. Join PPSSL for a better financial future. Secure your children’s future.
side stepping the spoon
The Broncos fans were celebrating for all the wrong reasons last Saturday night after the Doggies smashed the Dragons in Sydney. The comeback victory against Canberra was impressive, but the Doggies victory statistically puts the Dragons to finish last while the Broncos are out of range of getting the dreaded wooden spoon. It was a completely different story about 11 months ago. Oh well.
with you big vane
It was a debut that probably came a bit too late for junior Kumul Vane Manuma but nonetheless we are super proud to see him get his call-up to the Hunters. It’s been a rough year for the Hunters, but we’ll keep rooting for them no matter what.
knocked out
The Port Moresby Vipers search for a premiership title will continue into the future after the Moresby side was knocked out yesterday. The title drought spans all the way back to 2013 with guys like powerhouse prop Larson Marabe and a young playmaker called Ase Boas being the last to win silverware for NCD. Let’s hope they come back stronger in 2027.
sad city
Hull City earned promotion into the English Premier League and their first match in the top-flight was Manchester United. Unfortunately Manchester underestimated Hull and were left scratching their heads after copping a 0-2 loss. This has been the biggest news in the football world since the FIFA World Cup. We’re in for another big season in English football. Let’s go Liverpool.
golden point tiger moment
After eight straight weeks of hidomo disappointments, lalokau heartache, ave taina excuses, mafuka tantrums, the office TV suddenly blacking out when the control is in his tiger paws, silence is golden point moments, at long last kake gageva, our newsroom tiger was on fire last night. We thought the old tiger mamuna had gone nuts when the field goal was kicked from the Ranuguri Matoru stadium and sailed over the fence at Sydney football park. But that’s the way it is, PNG’s strongest Wests Tigers supporter lives in our newsroom.
fire fire fire
El Nino has brought stifling heat. Dry tinder and a recipe for disastrous fires. The Fire Department is warning citizens to refrain from making bush fires. The danger of fires is ever present in the current environment. People are warned NOT to make unnecessary fires. With water sources drying up, firefighting will also be a challenge. We ask people to be very careful. Do not play with matches, gas lighters around dry tinder. Nogud yupla kukim ologeda haus blo yupla.
Tidbits
Wednesday, October 7, 2026
Elections and intending candidates
If you're a public servant, you should have resigned already. Whoever you are, you must have heaps of money to pay for coffins, contribute generously to Haus Krais, pay for school fees, buy dinghies and OBM, PMV trucks, etc. Poverty is rampant in the family, so don't ask family members for contributions. For those eligible to vote, quickly ensure you are on the common roll
No Election Laws?
Don't they have election laws in the United States? How can the President say, " Vote Republican and I'll send you a cheque for $5000 (K22,294)? " That's the promise he made at his party mid-term convention in Dallas, Texas recently. Unbelievable! If you tried a stunt like that in PNG, you would be tossed in gaol and they would throw away the key! Even more incredible, millions apparently think he will actually pay up!
Job Vacancy
As we approach NGE2027 we can learn a lot from our brothers across the Trump Ocean. Both political parties use what are called "political trackers". They are staffers who follow opposing candidates around hoping to catch them saying something problematic on camera. Sounds like a fun job, although in PNG you wouldn't want to get caught weaving your wiley ways!
Show Us the Money
The Orange Menace has stunned his voters once again, this time with a promise of $5000 for every voter if the mid-terms give Republicans the Congress and the Senate. That's a cool $1.5 trillion off the bottom line. Now before you all rush off to the airport, remember a visa and bond to get you into the States could cost you nearly K90, 000 , so five grand won't even scratch that offer. Sceptics point to all the other cash promises he has made, none of which eventuated. Would be nice in PNG, but guess the incumbent coalition won't be offering us a cash incentive to return them in NGE2027! Would have been nice to get some of our own money back!
A Huge Bill
Was it a typo? We hope so. The revelation by the Police Commissioner that the bill for NGE2027 security is a breathtaking and heart stopping K442m! Will we need another Supplementary Budget? Criticism of the provincial cuts in that Budget, but the reality is the three main items, fuel subsidy, El Nino and elections will all heavily impact provinces. The big question however is the distribution of those monies should be fair over all provinces. The only exception could be on election security. Provinces with known unrest and violence should pay a higher bill for their troubles. Peaceful places like Milne Bay Manus, East Sepik and East new Britain should be getting a discount!
Kerema Yu No Save
Long overdue for a statement from family and officials on the current health status of the Gulf Governor. We have every sympathy if he is sick and we wish him well. But he holds public office. He has missed the last four sittings of the House. Surely the House must invoke some rules on the matter? What do the standing orders say, Mr Speaker?
Thought For The Day
It is not power that corrupts. It is fear. Fear of losing power corrupts.
(Aung Sung Suu Kyi)
Tuesday, October 6, 2026
Sell PNG Power?
The Minister in charge of PPL is under attack from the Opposition but there is no doubt he is on the right track with his suggestion to sell the B and C centres. This is possibly good news for provinces and smaller centres. The big question is how much does he think they will raise in the marketplace? Nobody supports fire sales, but most centres have extremely poor generation capacity and even worse reticulation infrastructure. A private investor will have to build such issues into their bids -they are not charities! Is the Minister ready to negotiate price given such constraints? PPL has to be a profitable business, but the rehabilitation bill is massive.
Change Standing Orders
Can we take a serious look at the current public service retirement age? We are shuffling too many good, competent men and women off into obscurity at 60 . Many still are perfectly healthy and have lots to contribute to their country. People are living longer nowadays and seems a waste to allow this national, brain drain here at home. How about optional at 65 , and compulsory at 70 ? Ol fit man na meri i stap yet!
Our History
Always good to take the kids on an excursion and where better than the National Museum at Waigani. Teach them a bit about our rich history. Hard working parents would prefer to visit on the weekend. So we hope our National Museum stays open on a Sunday as well?
Dry Land for Us
We were already shy of the water when scientists announced a shark which could walk on dry land. Now we are determined to head for the hills with the discovery of a Great White Shark ?measuring over six meters . They can have the sea. We're perfectly happy with our toes in the welcoming soil of home.
Amazing Grace
It is a hymn sung all over the world by millions of people. But almost none know its history. It was written in 1772 by Englishman, John Newton. The wretch was him. He was saved from a life as the captain in the slave trade to America and became a priest and writer of religious works. A sudden seizure forced him off the ships and in 1764 he was ordained as a Church of England priest. He wrote the song from his personal story in the small parish of Olney in Buckinghamshire. He changed from a blasphemer to a hymn writer. He helped William Wilberforce in his twenty year battle to repeal the slave trade in the British Empire. He died in 1807 the year the Bill passed into law. He once was lost, but now he is found . So next time you sing Amazing Grace please reflect on its history and the wretch who wrote it.
Rain Forest ??
The Amazon rainforest is still one of the greatest mysteries on Earth today. So is the rain forest of Papua New Guinea. In its dense and remote parts, science hasn't yet reached every living being. According to experts, up to 90% of species in some areas remain unknown to science. Every year new species emerge—and the rainforest continues to prove today that the world hidden within it is far more mysterious than we could ever imagine! Protect Our Forests!
Sideline Experts
We are experts at staying on the sidelines. We don't want to make a fuss. We don't want to tackle what could become a thorny issue. We would rather take the sitting fees and carry on as if nothing had happened. Former ICAC boss raises an interesting point. Nearly every integrity issue he encountered had been raised previously but had never been dealt with. If you sit on a Board, ask yourself how many times you have faced challenging situations and you have either moved on, deferred it to next meeting or passed the buck in to someone else. Somebody! Anybody!
Monday, October 5, 2026
Schools Must Report
A lot of emphasis these days on department heads on financial and other reporting. There is a huge amount of money pumped into our schools. Why do Headmasters and Principals not formally report at the end of every year? ICAC recently had a Headmaster in a province arrested for fudging student figures and pocketing the difference. How hard would it be to create a standard template that school heads can complete easily and have them checked by the School Inspector? Come on Secretary, this should be a priority exercise. Too much money is being frittered away in our educational institutions.
What a Load of Bull!
Nothing to do with politics this time! In Australia an Aberdeen Angus Bull sold for $420, 000. With his sperm selling around $500 a shot, the 18-month bull could be fertile for ten years and earn millions of dollars. We need one of those big fellas. Makes us wonder how our national cattle herd going? Everything seems to have gone quiet after an initial flush of activity last year.
Start with Mathew 25
How will we judge our candidates in NGE2027? A good place to start would be Mathew 25. It tells us how we will be judged, how we will be saved. Jesus did not spend all his time preaching or teaching. He spent most of his time healing the sick. Feeding the poor. Welcoming the stranger. Visiting the prisoner. Could you vote for such a man a woman?
Alluvial Mining
Isn't alluvial mining supposed to be limited to local operators only? The laws are there to protect small scale operators. But what happens when greedy landowners get into a JV with a large Asian operator. Is that legal? It seems to be contrary to the spirit the law was intended for. Introducing large foreign sluicing equipment into an operation is surely not what the government intended?
It's In the Past 1
Hard to accept, but you have never actually seen the present. Every
thing you see is already in the past. We see an object because light reflects off it and then travels to our eyes. Since light takes time to travel, there is always a tiny delay between an event happening and us seeing it. Light travels at 299,792,458 meters per second, which means it takes about 3.3 nanoseconds to travel one meter. So if an object is just 1 meter away from your eyes, the light from it takes about 3.3 nanoseconds to reach you. That means you are always seeing a tiny moment from the past.
It's In the Past 2
When you look at the Moon, you see it as it was about 1.3 seconds ago because that is how long its light takes to reach Earth. When you look at the Sun, you see it as it was about 8 minutes and 19 seconds ago. So if astronomers observe a galaxy they see it as it was about 2.5 million years ago. Technically then , whenever you look at something, you are seeing it as it was a moment ago - never exactly as it is in the present. Got it?
Quote of the Day
All of us need to be on guard against arrogance, which knocks at the door whenever you are successful. (Steve Jobs)
Sunday, October 4, 2026
Want Some Pie?
The District Development Act and the spending by districts is often heavily criticized and rightly so. But a recent presentation on the DDA attempts to counter that criticism. One pie chart showed the actual Budget spending. 89.6% was by the National Government in Waigani, 7.3% in the Provinces and only 3.1% in the Districts. If the DDA was supposed to move the money pile down to the people in the districts it seems to be taking a long time to do so?
I Do It My Way
The PM has invoked the perfectly valid concept of "innocent until proven guilty " to defend his choice of Ministers. Fair enough. But what about the other parliamentary principle, standing down and respecting your position until any inquiry is over? In Britain, Japan or Australia there would be no need to be stood down, members do it themselves because it is the right thing to do and they respect the office above all. So the public continues to be shocked to see more ministers being blooded and recycled throughout. However, numbers matter more, it is simply part of the numbers game.
Oldest Living Trees
Guess we will never be able to boast about how old our trees are in Port Moresby. Many years ago we lost the trees on Hunter Street and then the magnificent Yar trees on Ela Beach leaving us with the sterile environment we have now. We can only dream of a tree in Japan that has stood for over 1,000 years at Sairenji Temple in Ibaraki Prefecture. It is an ancient ginkgo which bursts into brilliant gold each autumn, transforming the temple grounds into a breathtaking sea of yellow. Maybe some day, Port Moresby, but just not in our time?
Taim Bipo
Remember the halcyon days of Ela Beach. Copping a squat in a cool, shady spot under the ancient yar trees. Getting battered fish from the kiosk near the town. There was even a water slide and an underwater observatory. Everybody got on, nobody hassled you. Those were the days.
On Bended Knee
We have never been fans of those pollies who insist on putting their names on things, invariably bought or paid for with public monies. And we have given more than the occasional serve to some, but we feel we have to humbly apologise when we compare their offences with the crazy fellow in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in America. He renamed the Gulf of Mexico, they named Palm Beach Airport after him, he offended a dead President by trying to put his name on his JFK Kennedy Center , he renamed Lake Ontario to Lake of America and is thinking of an ocean next. But he really is pushing the looney button by suggesting the Straits of Hormuz could become Trump Strait. Absolute nonsense, but that's the world we live in!
Thought of the day
We get tired of watching the same failure happen to organisations that would have been avoided if one person, just one person, had spoken up, and described it to them plainly, once, before it happened.
Bigger, Better Continent
Africa may not be better, but after the latest UN Resolution it is now recognised as being BIGGER. The current Mercator projection of the world was produced in the 16th Century and it is now generally accepted it makes Africa smaller than it actually is. The resolution passed the General Assembly by a vote of 164-1 , with a notable six abstentions ( we will find out how PNG voted). No prizes for guessing who the one negative vote was - correct, the US! Maybe next resolution should note America becomes a smaller state by the day. 164 countries would agree, Donald!
Saturday, October 3, 2026
Pineapple Building
So what is the story on Marea Haus , more commonly known as the Pineapple Building? Looks like the government has abandoned it and moved into flash new digs at Melanesian House. Assume they were not paying any rent at the Pineapple, but are in the new place? Anyone know how much ? It looks empty so hopefully a new tenant can be found for it. Sure there is some government department which needs better accomodation? How about making it Police HQ? Several years there was some controversy over a contract to spend over K50m on renovating it? Is that investment now to be thrown away. Lucky we are so debt-free we can afford to make such extravagant decisions?
Once Upon A Time
Father was telling his young son about the good old days, before the advent of the mobile phone. He explained that every landline was attached by an electric cord to a wall socket in the house. "So what happened if you wanted to take a photo outdoors using your phone? inquired the youngster. “Did the electric cords stretch that far?”
Space Stations
Being so close to the Equator there has long been talk of PNG being perfectly placed to host a space station with suitable sites in Manus and New Ireland . But now we hear SpaceX plans to build the world’s biggest spaceport. The $100bn facility aims to support up to 30 rocket launches a day. Construction should start next year, with the first launches expected in 2029. Wouldn't that make for a very Special Economic Zone? Time for the Minister for International Trade to give Elon Musk a call?
Thought For the Day
We wonder if the person who named the umbrella originally intended to call it the 'brella but hesitated "
Cure For Solvency?
How do you make yourself solvent again? It's easy. Just say so. The Minister says PPL is able to pay it's monthly bills. That is correct. But while you have K1. 3 billion in debt and an unpaid K120m debt against you in court can you really claim to be solvent?
New Wampar Township
A Lae company has started the next phase of the Wampar Township Development at Nadzab in Morobe Province. It follows years of delay associated with land disputes and unauthorised occupation within the project area. The approved development aims to advise surrounding communities, businesses and prospective investors of the future development planned for the area.
The first phase will be the Wampar Fresh Market run by the Gabsongkeg Development Foundation Inc. providing an organised and safer trading environment for local farmers, vendors and families. A new dawn for the Nadzab area
Babies Having Babies
If ever PNG needed proper family planning interventions , especially for our young women, it is now. The Parliamentary Committee on Gender Equality and Women’s Empowerment (GEWE) has raised the alarm over rising teenage pregnancies, warning of long-term impacts on young women and children. It was revealed that more than 15,000 births annually are by girls under 18. Such a trend disempowers these young mothers and disadvantages their children. Without targeted policy responses, this crisis can only worsen over the next decade. Save our girls!
Friday, October 2, 2026
Money Laundering
The Attorney General brought amendments to our Anti Money Laundering laws. This is welcomed. But reform is also needed for FASU as they fight corruption and money laundering. It is their work that will get us off the Grey Listing. But we need to give them a full bag of tools to do the job. At present they investigate then hand the case over to Fraud and the Public Prosecutor. Both are severely under-resourced hence the over 2000 completed cases disappear into a black hole. FASU must have its own powers to prosecute!
Haus Meri
It certainly won't be Trump's golden ballroom. The Australians have agreed to build an additional wing of our Parliament House as a 50th Anniversary gift. The existing Haus Tambaran is a Haus Man. The Highlands Round House is a Haus Man. When our Parliament was built, no provision was made for women members. Was it assumed by the architects that there would never be any female members? So how about the Aussies build us a Haus Meri when they start work on their promised extension? Something to honour all the matrilineal societies in PNG seems fitting and only fair.
Women in Parliament
Why only now are some of our MPs talking about Sections 101 and 102 of the Constitution? They have always been there. They would allow three qualified women to enter the House. So why, only eight months out from a National Election, are these sections being invoked now? An additional three women could have been nominated in all previous elections . It is up to the male-dominated Parliament to agree. Women hold up half of the sky in PNG. It is well overdue that more of them were in our House?
Singing Leaders
Guests at a recent function were stunned to see the lead guitarist was the City Manager of NCD. It reminded them of the good old days when Prime Minister, Bill Skate, would join the band and belt out a few local hits. We have all seen US President Barrack Obama take the microphone. But at a recent function in Bangkok the Thai Prime Minister entertained the audience with a very competent version of the Beatles classic " Let It Be". But what really stole the show was the guy on the guitar ?-the Prime Minister of Singapore no less!
Don't Hit The Kids
But you can belt them up in the car. PNG parents can be pretty harsh beating their kids. No spare the rod , spare the kids here! But South African comedian Trevor Noah has a message for us on how they do it in his country. "Men are not supposed to beat the children , because a man will hit with hate in his heart. Women can hit the kids because they do it with love!
Truth from a lie
We live in amazing times. We have more information than we have ever had, in the palm of our hands. Yet it has become even harder to tell the truth from a lie.
(Barrack Obama)
Thought of the Day
People understand what is wrong immediately when you tell it as a story. They glaze over when you hand them a framework or suggest a workshop.
Thursday, October 1, 2026
POM Blackout Surveillance?
Why do Police not use more technology to identify and then arrest suspects in crimes committed in our capital? City Hall promised us city-wide CCTV surveillance. But there is no point if footage is not going to be used. Over K20 million invested in the CCTV project launched in 2025, 200 cameras for 80 locations and our criminals in POM are still getting away with it. PROBABLY BLACKOUT?
Still Feeling Old?
We ran an article last week on computer terms for you (sorry,we) oldies. We actually found a list of 450 terms so we will spoon feed them to you over the next few weeks so you can show off to your kids and all those Gen Z nerds. Here goes -RN - Right Now! LMK - Let Me Know: JK - Just Kidding: NVM - Never Mind: LMAO - Laughing My Ass Off (liked that one ?) :AFK - Away From Keyboard: FYP - For You Page: BFF - Best Friends Forever: TMI - Too Much Information ( you will use this lot!) : RATIO - When a Reply Gets More Engagement Than the Original Post: MID - Average / Not Impressive: SUS - Suspicious: BET - Okay / Agreed: BASED - Confidently Holding a View: NO CAP - No Lie: CAP - A Lie: RIZZ - Charm or Ability to Attract Someone: SLAY - Did Something Impressively Well:ATE - Did Something Extremely Well: FIRE - Excellent: COOKED - In Trouble / Finished:LET HIM COOK - Let Someone Continue :DELULU - Delusional / Unrealistically Optimistic : BRAINROT - Absurd or Addictive Internet Content: VIRAL - Spreading Rapidly Online: MEME - Shareable Internet Joke or Idea: and CLICKBAIT - Content Designed to suck you in. Now go practice on your grandkids, Bubu!
Kerema Yu No Save?
The people down West are anxiously asking where their good Governor is. They are rightly concerned about his ongoing health issues and wish him well. But he has now missed three sessions of Parliament. To be missing during the vitally important Papua LNG Forum is a massive blow to his Gulf people. Time for the Governor to consider his health and stand down from the top position? His position is a public one and belongs to the people, not to one individual.
Vale Sr Josette
We join the St Josephs International Catholic College in mourning the passing of an icon, Sr Josette Lee . She first came to PNG in 1951 and served faithfully for over 63 years , mainly at St Joseph's before retiring in 1995. A life lived in service, she will be remembered fondly by staff, students and parents of the College. Vale Sr, Rest in Eternal Peace.
Slogan of the Week
Could this be a slogan for next year's general election. Promise everything. Deliver nothing. Blame someone else?
A Big Tree!
You know we love trees, especially big and old trees. That's because trees just don't get big or old in our cities before some vandal takes to it with a chain saw. We found one in Brazil. There is a single tree that is so big it looks like an entire forest. It is the world's largest cashew tree, and it covers an area of about 8,400 square meters, that's about the size of a football field. Guess you could say that's nuts!
Can We Educate Them?
Does our younger generation understand the power they have? Right in the palm of their hands. Their mobile phone is the gateway to all the knowledge they will ever need. It is the ultimate encyclopedia in their pocket. For K1 per gigabyte the world is theirs. Instead of wasting their time on WhatsApp, Messenger, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and Twitter etc they can source the wonders, and the horrors, of this modern, and any of the old, world. If only they knew? Is there some way we can educate them to the possibilities?
Wednesday, September 30, 2026
Unstoppable March 1
The Unstoppable march of urbanisation continues in our nation's capital. It is inevitable while there is so much poverty and inequality in our rural areas. Outsiders are taking over what was once traditional land. Connect PNG has its pluses but people near the road in our provincial towns are under increasing pressure to sell their land -even though it is supposedly illegal. The pressure is greatest in the Motu Koita environs of Port Moresby.
Unstoppable March 2
Short sighted and greedy landowners have succumbed to the lure of big money, sacrificing their kids land and future forever. Where will this end? Will it end well? We have been asking which way PNG since 1975 . Isn't it time we found an answer?
Dolly
When Dolly Parton approached Robert Plant for permission to record her version of Led Zeppelin's “Stairway to Heaven,” she was worried about how he would react. But Plant’s response was wonderfully simple: “Of course you can, you’re Dolly Parton!" She took one of rock’s most iconic songs and made it unmistakably her own, adding a touch of country, gospel, and her unmistakable voice.Sometimes, a legend recognizing another legend is all the permission you need.
All At Sea
In a first for PNG Tawali Dive Resort has introduced the country's first-ever underwater post box, located beneath the crystal-clear waters at Tawali Jetty in Milne Bay. You write your postcard, seal it in a waterproof pouch, dive or snorkel down to post it. The resort collects it and send it on its way . Now all they need is a special Tawali, PNG PO stamp and you have a unique local experience from the waters of the Pacific Ocean. We have heard of snail mail, but not sure what we call this - fish mail or crab mail?
Climate Change is Real
The dangerous conditions climate scientists warned of have become common. In both hemispheres, wildfires rage right into our cities and incinerate entire neighbourhoods. Marine heatwaves are bleaching corals and cooking seagrasses on a global scale. This northern summer has brought temperatures most Europeans associate with the Australian desert. Heat events in Europe have paralysed whole countries, destroyed infrastructure and killed citizens in their thousands.
This is life at barely 1.5C of global heating .We tell ourselves this is the new normal. But the awful truth is, we’re on track for nearly twice that! Imagine a Nepal flash flood twice the size of the last one!
Old Blue Eyes
Two mates were having a drink in the Monsoon Bar listening to some pretty ordinary karaoke. One inebriated fellow was struggling to sing the classic Frank Sinatra number, ‘My Way’. Another patron standing next to them , watching the same sorry spectacle, whispered in our mate's ear: “Maybe he should have sung it someone else’s way? "
Quote of the Day
We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so that stupid people won't be offended.
Sunday, September 27, 2026
Still A Mystery?
Is the internet still a mystery to you? Is the language your kids use baffling you? Well here are some tips that might win you back some credibility with the Gen Z lot. The GOAT - Greatest Of All Time ; FOMO - Fear Of Missing Out; YOLO - You Only Live Once; IYKYK - If You Know, You Know; TL;DR - Too Long; Didn't Read; POV - Point Of View; NGL - Not Gonna Lie; TBH - To Be Honest; SMH - Shaking My Head; IMO - In My Opinion; ICYMI - In Case You Missed It; OOTD - Outfit Of The Day; GRWM - Get Ready With Me; AFK - Away From Keyboard FR - For Real; NO CAP - No Lie; CAP - A Lie; FLEX - Show Off; STAN - Super Fan; VIRAL - Spreading Rapidly. Now go and show them Bubu is actually a cool dude! FR! A, real FLEX!
Domo Arigato, Japan!
Thank you Japan for the wonderful and timely gift of 60 vehicles to the Royal PNG Constabulary. Less than a year out from NGE2027 the vehicles should ensure a free and fair election. But the major challenge for the Police is to maintain these vehicles and ensure they are still in running condition when elections come around. The record of the Constabulary looking after vehicles is appalling. Visit any police station, works depot or provincial HQ-they are littered with the corpses of abused vehicles. An audit of asset registers on retention of vehicles would be a shocking revelation. How about an audit now Police Minister, to see the current state of our law enforcement fleet?
Moments To Treasure
We all have moments in our lives we have never forgotten. We would like to hear yours. One was of a trip in 1977. Two young volunteers from Papitalai HS landed at Rei Village on the North Coast of Lou Island, Manus. The aim was to walk across the island to Solang on the South Coast and then on to Tuluman and Baluan. Greeted by the head man at Solang just on dusk we were asked if we would like to wash. After a long days walk we said yes. " Hot or cold? " We laughed and said hot, not expecting to enjoy a hot shower in such a remote location. But after a short walk along the beach we came upon what looked like a huge bathtub next to the sea. The "tub" had a luxurious soft bed of lichen which made you feel you were sitting on a deep pile carpet . As we lowered ourselves into the piping hot water from a hot spring on the hillside, the waves lapped into the pool creating just the right temperature. A hot bath on Lou Island ?! As we sat luxuriating in the steam, we both looked at each other and jokingly said, " so this is what they mean when they say it's tough in the Tropics! " And to cap it off a glorious red sunset settled right in front of us, before disappearing into the sea. There was talk at the time that the water from the hot spring would be piped to the village. We hope not. It remains one of our treasured moments in Papua New Guinea !
Fast and Be Furious
A Japanese scientist has earned a Nobel Prize after discovering one of the body’s most powerful self-healing mechanisms. During periods of fasting, the human body begins to consume its own damaged cells, triggering a deep cellular reset known as autophagy. This natural process acts like an internal cleanup system, breaking down old proteins, malfunctioning components, and toxic buildup that contribute to aging and disease. Researchers found that autophagy boosts cellular renewal, supports immune function, protects against neurodegeneration, and improves overall resilience. When the body isn’t busy digesting food, it shifts focus to maintenance and repair. So it's OK to not eat your veggies one day a week! But you can't eat anything!
Member Accountability
Maybe we could think about something like this? Wales could become the first country in the world where politicians can lose their jobs for lying to the public. The Member Accountability and Elections Bill, would make it a criminal offence for candidates and elected lawmakers to knowingly publish false or misleading statements before elections. It includes recall powers, meaning politicians could potentially be removed from office between elections for serious misconduct. It is an attempt to restore trust in politics by making elected officials more accountable for what they tell voters. Be nice if we had such a law in place as we approach NGE2027?
Are You Qualified?
As we approach the October deadline for public servants to resign if they intend to stand for election next year here are some points we hope the Electoral Commission will take into account before they accept the K1000 nomination fee. You must have resided in the ward electorate for a period of two years continuously or for five years at any time. You should not have a conviction under the law or been imprisoned for more than nine months. You should not have been dismissed from office under the leadership code. If the EC can apply these rules we may just get the right candidates in NGE2027?
Ban Block Voting
In many parts of PNG coordinators do not even bother with the electoral roll. They simply overcome election officials and push voters through in a block tribal or family vote. This should not be allowed by security forces if they are present. Voting is a personal matter for each individual. One way to rid us of this undemocratic practice is to put aside such blocks of votes and not count them. This does not need to be done at the polling venue to avoid any threats. The put aside votes can be addressed at the counting centre and excluded. The EC needs to make a strong public statement that block voting is illegal and that votes cast this way are illegal and can be excluded from the count.
Saturday, September 26, 2026
Party Audits
Not talking about how much was spent on drinks, twisties, balloons and party favours here. How much money is being poured into political parties and by whom for next years elections? Do we have an American situation where a large donation to a superpac is rewarded with a healthy government contract? We deserve to know who is really funding our elections or all this talk about alternative candidates for PM is pointless. The outcome has already been decided.
Bring On The Romans
The Romans never had Connect PNG but they built roads so accurate and straight their image can still be seen from space. They built straight roads 500 km long without GPS. With just a cross-shaped stick called a Groma in 300 B.C. A wooden cross with 4 plumb lines and a stake. They aligned the lines, traced a perfect straight line for miles . The error rate was 15 cm over 1 km. The Appian Way runs dead straight for 90 km. Built without lasers, without satellites. Just the Groma - a stick with 4 plumb lines beat GPS over 500 km. How did they manage to never make a mistake? Maybe we should get them to advise the characters running Connect PNG?
World of Hate
Malaysian comedian Ronny Chieng has it right on the internet. Everyone is an expert. D grade students are suddenly questioning intellectuals with PhD's. What do they really know? They are like parasites eating the host. They are the student who never attended class, then turn up to the exam, and say things like "maths is not real! ". They are dumb, defensive morons and donkeys. Yet we have to listen to them. In PNG we are also inclusive - The internet trolls are not part of any constructive debate. They are just venting their spleen. They need to just shut up. Thank you internet!"
Vale to the legend Dolly
The musical icon Dolly Parton passed last month after a battle with cancer at 80 . She leaves a legacy of unforgettable memories, including the song " I Will Always Love You " which many ascribe to the great Whitney Houston but it was Parton's partner Porter Wagoner who wrote it for her. Their partnership finished on that song and when he heard her sing it, he said it " was the prettiest song he ever heard! " The words say that even though she was leaving she would always love him. Dolly later graciously gave the song to Houston. But it wasn't just her singing she is remembered for. She donated hundreds of millions of books through her " Imagination Library" and funded research that helped create a lifesaving vaccine used around the world. It is her unconditional love for all people that will be her lasting impact. RIEP!
No Politics Please ?
One abiding memory about the late Dolly Parton is that she refused to take political sides to avoid offending her fans. She refused to talk about Trump. We could do with her around in NGE2027. In the 2016 US Election she did break her rule a bit when she described both candidates as "nuts" and "politics is just one big circus. " We will miss you Dolly!
That's Respect
We all mourned the passing of country icon , Dolly Parton. But King Charles III’s Royal Guard honored Dolly Parton in their own way by playing one of her biggest hits outside Buckingham Palace.
The Band of the Coldstream Guards performed Parton’s 1980 hit “9 to 5” during the Changing of the Guard ceremony. Respect!
Be Polite
Some basic rules if you want to behave perfectly. If you're at someone's house and they say they are tired, it's time to leave. Never cut someone off wait till they have finished what they are saying. Never stay on another call too long when you're sitting with company. If someone is shy or awkward in social situations, never point it out. Be nice now!
Friday, September 25, 2026
You For Real?
In NGE2027 look at your candidates track record. You should not consider a successful businessman or woman as the only criteria for office. Vote for the real people, those who have served. Those who have voluntarily worked for their community as councillors, peace officers, land mediators, or just village leaders. Look for those who have served on school or P&C or hospital boards or run charities, been members of service organisations, been on Red Cross, or just raised money to help those less fortunate. Elect those who wish to serve, not those looking for a new career in politics! Eat the lamb flaps, drink the beer and coolade provided by the rich candidate, then vote for a real person who you know will serve you for the next five years.
Crushing Grubs! 1
The power is in your hands. It is in your vote. During NGE2027 strike a blow for the little people. You can do the country a favour by both electing a good candidate and destroying someone who is clearly not fit for office. How? It's easy. Make your greedy candidate spend his millions on feeding you, giving you his pigs, cows and cassowaries, buying you beer, hosting parties, giving you cash (lots of it, don't undersell yourself!). Take it all. Demand more. Promise your vote -match the promises they make to you -you know most won't come true, then vote for the good, but poor, candidate !
Crushing Grubs! 2
In the process you drain the coffers of the unworthy ones and make them so broke, you will never see them again and hopefully ensure they never aspire to political office again! You can do it. Might sound a bit venal and dishonest, but isn't that exactly what they want to do to you? Don't be fooled by what they can bring you if they win. You know the history. That will be the square root of FA...zero! Anyway you will probably never see them again in your isolated, remote hamlet in the hills, till 2032 when they come round begging for your vote again! Yes We Can , PNG!
Thursday, September 24, 2026
How Long is Too Long?
Some of our politicians have been around for decades. One or two have been in five Parliaments to date. That is an eternity. Their electorates are hardly models of progress so God only know how they keep getting elected. So how long is too long? Sounds like an argument for term limits in the next House if anyone is brave enough to raise it. The way we are going with some aged leaders we are going to need transcripts of their latest policies delivered through a ventilator?
True Repentance
Interesting post on social media suggesting Repentance Day should be removed from the roster of public holidays . It quotes James 2:17 -"faith without action is dead". It asks, are you a Christian just because you attend church on a Saturday or a Sunday? We should pray and repent every day of our life. Did we really need a group of religious leaders to influence government to mandate a Day of Repentance? Does mandating repentance really count? Is it not an individual decision for every man, woman and child to make in their daily lives, every day? Every day becomes a day of repentance.
Visionary Leader
A politician released a visionary 20 Year Development Plan to drive tourism for the area. One of the key projects is to be a 36 Hole Golf Course. Just what the people need, a golf course. Kind of like Marie Antoinette telling the masses, besieging her gates, to eat cake if they have no bread?
Designated Areas
A brave decision by the Alotau Local Level Government. They have designated two areas in the town area for chewing of betelnut and smoking cigarettes. Trying to control chewing and spitting in our town centres has been an almost insuperable challenge for years. We all know simple prohibition does not work and only drives the issue into the dark shadows. This is a bold move and the purists will object. But it is a worthwhile experiment we should give a chance. One positive is we now have a zoo-like area where we can take young people to show them what happens to your body if you smoke and chew. Those in the "zoo" should be commended for willingly taking part in this civic experiment. The public are reminded they are not allowed to throw things at or feed the "animals." Just kidding!
Scared of Heights?
If you are, kids don't try this at home. Russian skydiver, Sergey Boytsov, just broke the world record for the highest jump from stratosphere at almost 40,000ft. Oh, and yes he did survive!
Gripe of The Day
“I think that people who use selfie sticks need to take a good, long, hard look at themselves.”
Wednesday, September 23, 2026
Hold Your Horses ✋
Baniara may be one of our newest seats in NGE2027, but looks like they have already adopted some bad habits from previous elections. Posting on their Makamaka Rural Facebook site their endorsement for the Regional Seat could be construed as early campaigning and that is not allowed. Take it easy Ol Banix! Your time will come and you can legally endorse whoever you like. Might be time for the new EC to issue a directive to all candidates and supporters clarifying the law and the rules?
Enough is Enough!
Once again the staff at Kokopo Business College are under siege in their home by violent villagers. Nobody seems to be able to control them. How many times has KBC been closed or threatened in this manner. Enough is enough! No more ultimatums! Shut the college down and move it somewhere a community will respect it and protect it. Parents should demand this-it is their children whose education and lives are being threatened. Secretary some strong action please!
Charlie Chaplin
The famous actor from the silent era, Charlie Chaplin, lived for 88 years. He left us 4 statements to guide us. Nothing is eternal in this world, not even our problems. I like walking in the rain because no one can see my tears. The most wasted day in life is the day we don't make someone laugh. And the six best doctors in the world- the sun, rest, exercise, self-respect and friends. Respect these rules at every stage of your life and enjoy a healthy life. Life is just a journey! So live today! Tomorrow may not come!
Move The United Nations
At one time Prime Minister Somare suggested PNG's capital be moved to the very centre of PNG -the Arona Valley in the Eastern Highlands. Trump no longer supports the UN. If we can't put a bid in for Arona they should quit New York and build anew on the site of the UN Library and Archives, built in the 1930's, on the shores of Lake Geneva in Switzerland.
Quote of the Day
"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his own narrow individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."
(Martin Luther King Jr)
See Our PNG Bridges
Leonardo da Vinci’s self-supporting bridge was designed between 1485 and 1487, and is a structural masterpiece that requires no nails, ropes, or glue. It relies entirely on friction, gravity, and geometry to maintain its integrity. Kind of like those kanda bridges we build in the Highlands of PNG in 2025 then?
Humans Not Invited
China hosted the 2nd World Humanoid Robot Games in Beijing last month. Humans need not attend . The Games brought together 2,056 humanoid robots from 666 teams representing 16 countries and regions. The competition featured more than 30 events, testing robots in running, soccer, boxing, weightlifting and tug-of-war, as well as practical challenges inspired by real life events and emergency rescue. A robot is coming to a job, and an event, near you!
Tuesday, September 22, 2026
It's Simply Disrespectful
What is wrong with our Members? Have they no respect for their constituents? Is it too hard to turn up on time for arranged events? Communities make a huge show of preparing, decorating venues, cooking food, dressing their kids up for the big day -often taking them away from school. The people show absolute respect. Is it too hard for the Member to reciprocate and turn up at the allotted time? Respect is earned Member, not given automatically!
Looking For Oldest ?Tree
If you are looking for the oldest tree in the world you certainly won't find it in Port Moresby. Here we are in the process of chopping all our trees down, even the ones City Hall puts preservation orders on! PNG Power are the biggest culprits. They always say trees interfere with their transmission lines. So how come Chinese cities keep their trees and either prime the branches to allow cables through or bury them under ground. Oh, and the oldest tree ? Almost forgot. That's in Tanzania in Africa and it is a mere 6000 years old. Some of our politicians don't even stay around that long!
Bored at Home?
Another public holiday. Sitting at home bored? Don't try this at home kids . On July 2, 1982, California truck driver, Larry Walters, flew into the sky in a lawn chair. He bought 42 eight-foot helium weather balloons, tied them to a regular lawn chair, strapped on a parachute, packed a BB gun to pop balloons to descend, a CB radio, sandwiches, and a six-pack of beer. When he cut the rope he shot up like a rocket to 16,000 feet! Two airline pilots radioed they had just passed a man in a lawn chair holding a gun ,fly past them. He eventually shot enough balloons to land in power cables 45 minutes later. When police arrested him he said, "A man can't just sit around." Please don't be like Lawnchair Larry if you are bored this public holiday!
Save Our Rainforests
Has PNG surrendered the fight for our precious forests? It would seem so. But in the Amazon indigenous landowners are fighting back with new and more sophisticated methods which use the power of social media. The petition group, Avaaz , has identified 20 critically important parcels of the Amazon to protect. Online, they are raising funds to help Indigenous communities secure legal rights to thousands of hectares of their life-giving lands. They are just about to secure the first two and stymie predatory developers who often have the support of officials high in government. A novel approach which PNG could try?
Lest We Forget
Good to see as we progress to the future of Gurney Airport that the Squadron Leader Gurney commemorative plaque and the anti-aircraft memorial from the old terminal have pride of place at the entrance to the new terminal. It is important to remember where we have been as well chart our course to the future. One small issue. The propeller is incorrectly mounted. You would have thought they would have spotted that when one blade is clearly shorter than the others. Sticks out like dogs nuts!
Thank you NAC!
Pleas to remove the ugly razor wire at the front of the new Gurney International Airport have been heard. Thank you MD and NAC. It was unnecessary and an offence to the peaceful people of Milne Bay. Nice to see the little people being listened to!
Truth of the Day
Happiness is knowing that your children have turned out to be really good people.
Friday, September 11, 2026
Leave Our Girls Alone
A recent UN survey revealed that 58% of girls and young women have experienced some form of online harassment. It is a growing issue in PNG where young men with mobiles in hand ply their ugly business. Violence doesn't stop at the school gate. It follows them online, affecting their health, confidence and ability to learn. We have to stop the bullying. Hopefully, this new raft of cyber legislation that the Minister is bringing to Parliament in September will specifically address such issues for our women?
Long Arm of the Law
Good to hear the Police Fraud Squad has finally arrested former UPNG staff for allegedly manipulating the university database and stealing over K600,000! Students were also involved and the university has terminated an amazing 194 of them. But why does it take so long-the investigation started in 2024? Trust we will see a conviction and recovery of the proceeds of this crime? Such cases need resolution to restore the reputation of our first and premier university!
Very Special Economic Zones
The world is moving ahead and we are racing to catch up. We need employment for our youth, but all the talk is of AI and robots. Where can PNG fit in. Consider the TESLA story. They have just ripped out the production line they have used for 14 years and replaced it with a fleet of robots that cost $30,000 each. The factory is sterile. There are no operators. No remote controls. No supervisors. No union reps. In their Texas factory there are over 1,000 of them sorting battery cells, kitting parts., moving racks. There is no overtime, no compensation claims and no shift changes. They work 24/7 without a tea or smoke break . In California an average factory worker costs $55/hour fully loaded. The robots pays for themselves in a single quarter. The future is here and it's implications for manufacturing industries are scary.
Stop Complaining
This isn't a story about "the robots are coming for my job! There are upsides to robotics too. For example cleaning public toilets is a job humans have been quietly begging to hand over for a hundred years. The robot doesn't care it has the worst job in the building - the public toilet.No gloves. No mask. No gagging. It wrings the mop, sets its feet, and gets on with the job. Toilet cleaners rarely stay on the job. A robot can cost $16, 000 but it is a one time purchase. One year and it is paid off. Year two is free. It never quits, never calls out, never gets sick. It never has a bad morning . So what's the catch? There are some jobs the robot cannot do -it still needs a supervisor to turn it on or off.
Nobody's daughter dreams of cleaning a stranger's toilet, so stop bitching and be honest - is this a job worth saving? Let the robots have it!
What is Investing in Yourself?
Jamaican , Usain Bolt , won 8 gold medals in 3 Olympics and he only ran for a total of 115 seconds on the track. That is economy of effort. But for those two minutes of competing, Bolt trained for 20 years. That is investment in yourself. Think long term , kids!
Could Be a PNG Story
An Ethiopian lady worked for 30 years in Lebanon as housekeeper to pay for her son's education fees Thirty years later, as she flies back to Ethiopia, she discovers that her son is the pilot of the plane. Did that bring a tear to your eye?
Walk Softly
Walk softly but carry a big stick is a famous phrase used by US President Theodore Roosevelt. Many of our senior public servant bosses like to think they are doing just that. In reality, they are not. They are really not up to the job and probably shouldn't be there. They exude an aura of strength and often unpleasantness so you don't get too close. Because, if you get closer you see the faults and the cracks in the facade. It's a self protection mechanism!
Thursday, September 10, 2026
How Young Are You?
Tackling our burgeoning youth problem is the major challenge for successive governments. But identifying youths is the issue. How often have you seen some "young" lapun on TV claiming to be a youth. Look at your provincial government. How old is the Member representing youth? In most countries you pass your 21st birthday you move into adulthood. But not in PNG! Currently, youth are defined in the National Youth Authority Development Act 2014 as 12-38 and in the National Youth Policy as 12-30. The new definition is to suggest an age limit of 15-35 .How can you be a youth in your thirties? Yu lapun pinis! Limits of 15-21 seem sensible to us. What do you think?
Put Your Name On It
People have often railed against politicians putting their names on things paid for by public funds. One Governor is particularly fond of having things named after her. But if they are forced to remove their names by public protest, or heaven forbid, a court of law , here is a tip from the Orange Menace in the US. After a court ordered the hand-picked Board of the Kennedy Centre to remove Trump's name from the building they are trying to be clever and have another go. Under Kennedy's name will be a new inscription saying " Renovated and Refurbished by President Donald J. Trump. " Should be interesting to see if the judge thinks they are being contemptuous of his decision. Rule should be, keep your name off of public property!
Lawless Town
The days of Tommy Baker are long gone but is there a new sort of lawlessness creeping into the little town of Alotau? Major developments are springing up in the heart of the town and nobody knows what they are. No signage, not even a notice on those new digital infoboards that have sprung up around town. There is no Physical Planning Board so developers seen to be making hay while the sun shines. Now the popular lookout in Top Town has been fenced off and public access denied. What is going on,MBPG?
From The Top Man 1
"As you go to the polls to elect your leaders for the next five years, I call on every institution and every citizen involved in this election to play their part in ensuring a peaceful, transparent, free and fair process. The heads of all security agencies deployed for the election will ensure the safety of voters, electoral officials and election materials. Every citizen must be able to exercise his or her right to vote without fear, intimidation or violence. There must be no room for anyone seeking to disrupt the process or undermine the peace of the State. I urge the Electoral Commission to conduct the election with the highest standards of professionalism and integrity. Every vote must count.
From The Top Man 2
"Every lawful vote must be properly recorded. With the 2027 General Elections ahead, the EC shall demonstrate its preparedness and strengthen public confidence in our electoral process. I ask you to come out in your numbers and exercise your civic responsibility peacefully. Vote for the candidate of your choice. Respect the rights of your fellow citizens to make their own choice. Elections are contests of ideas and service, and should never cost the life of anyone ." The PM is, of course, welcome to use these words and save himself a speech next year. They are from Bola Ahmed Tinubu, President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of Nigeria.
Aging Gracefully 1
Not many Papua New Guinea live to 80 , but some do. One septuagenarian approaching 80 has the following tips. " After spending my life loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children and my friends, I have finally learned to truly love myself. The world does not rest on my shoulders. I stopped bargaining with the market seller. A few extra coins won’t hurt me, but they might help her send her little girl to school. I tip the waitress more than expected. The extra might make her smile after a long, tiring day. I no longer stop the elderly mid-story to say, “You’ve told me this before.” Their memories keep their hearts alive. I’ve stopped correcting people even when I know they’re wrong.
Aging Gracefully 2
Peace is far more precious than proving a point. I give compliments without holding back. They light up not just the other person’s day, but mine too. I don’t stress about a spot on my shirt or a wrinkle in my clothes. Who I am speaks louder than what I wear. I walk away from those who don’t value me. They may not see my worth, but I do. I don’t play the dirty game of the rat race. I am not a rat, and life is not a race for me anymore. I no longer hide my emotions. They are what make me human. I live each day like it could be my last, because one day, it will be. And above all, I do what makes me happy. Because my happiness is my own responsibility." Some wise words from a lapun bubu. Try living it today, you don't have to be 70 or 80.
Wednesday, September 9, 2026
Just Another State
In the 70s, there was a lot of debate on what to do with that carbuncle hanging off the top end -Papua New Guinea. One suggestion was to make it another State or the Northern Territory of Australia. Of course nationalism and decolonization pressures killed that, didn't they? But how about making us a "fiscal territory" only? Make us as responsible and accountable as any State that gets money from the Federal Government. We have to account for every cent of aid money given. Australian fraud investigators and their Auditor-General could demand reports and investigate how we spend Ozzie taxpayers' money. We could even expand the concept. If you want our substantial aid money, front a Senate Estimates Committee and pitch your expenditure plan. If the plan is wasteful, you don't get the next allocation. A whole new way of dispensing the aid dollar. Too patronising and neo-colonialist for you? We know one person who will vote for it - Pauline Hansen!
Election integrity
The Australia National University was one of the international observers at the 2017 national general elections in the country. The observation team was headed by none other than Professor Nicole Haley, our now Electoral Commissioner. In the report she co-authored, she questioned the integrity of the election and the results from some of the electorates and provinces in the highlands region. We hope that report and many others that formed out form the following 2022 polls will give our new EC enough of a ability to give us a much improved election in 2027 and to also make the hard calls for the constitutional office she runs. The process is too vital for us not to have that.
A Major Task
They say when you need a job done well give it to a woman. Such is the case with our new Public Solicitor. In a country of 10 million people, admittedly not all crooks, she has 50 lawyers and 24 public solicitors. It is woefully short of the number needed. She has a Herculean task in front of her. Each lawyer is faced with a mountain of over 500 cases. Salaries are mediocre, hence many abandon ship and move to the private sector. Who can blame them? To rub salt in the wound any proceeds of crime earned go to consolidated revenue and do not get allocated back to the office who won it. It also means cases which they feel have little chance of prosecution or the rewards are not worth the fight and resources required are prioritised and dismissed.
Hold The Applause
The headline screamed " ADB Unveils K5.2 Billion Pipeline for Papua New Guinea". Great news for PNG! The Asian Development Bank is set to roll out around US$1.2 billion in new projects over the next three years — targeting transport, energy, health, education, agriculture and more. The funding will help strengthen infrastructure, improve essential services and open doors for private-sector opportunities across the country. But let us not forget the ADB is a bank. Banks job primarily is to make money. On one level this is good news- the ADB thinks PNG is a good risk and is willing to extend that level of credit to us. We are a good customer! But on the other hand it will be loans -albeit at pretty good rates, we hope - but still loans. We need to spend those loans wisely-they must be productive. We need good outcomes so money is available to pay back those loans We are being told we are already drowning in over K50bn of debt. All the more reason in the short to mid-term we need to get the major resource projects over the line and in the long term get our agriculture to a productive level that contributes to the general economy. We have some great stories for our ADB "bank managers " . Now we have to make those fancy stories a reality.
Minister For Corruption
Maybe we should rephrase that before we get howls of protest from Waigani. The story actually is about Albania who last year introduced “Diella,” the world’s first “AI minister” charged with ensuring that public tenders remained free of corruption. Supporters argued that its dispassionate machine-reasoning would allow it to make neutral decisions and avoid the temptations of bribery and corruption that have historically be devilled Albania. But, you guessed it officials found a way around the "Minister" , corruption and kickbacks flourished and over €40m was recovered as proceeds of crime . We were going to suggest a similar setup for PNG. We could certainly do the corruption bit, but finding an artificially intelligent or a clever Minister might have stretched our resources just a tad too far.
We Are All Connected 1
All animal species are connected. In some cases we don't even know how vital they are to our survival. So we should protect the endangered ones. Take the case of the loathed and ugly flesh-eating vulture. When India accidentally wiped out its vultures, half a million people died in five years. The vulture has one of the most extreme digestive systems in the animal kingdom. Their stomach acid is strong enough to destroy anthrax, rabies, and botulism in the carcasses they eat. A flock of vultures can strip a cow to the bone in about 45 minutes. There were 50 million of them in India.. It was free sanitation in a country where religious custom often left dead cow carcasses to be collected by someone. But in 1994 the patent on Diclofenac , a cheap painkiller, expired . Farmers started using it on livestock.
We Are All Connected 2
Trace amounts in the carcasses caused kidney failure in vultures. Within a decade, 50 million birds fell to a few thousand. The fastest collapse of any bird species since the passenger pigeon. In their place feral dogs took the vultures' place and brought rabies. Rotting remains leached into waterways. The human death rates rose more than 4 percent and it was estimated there were 100,000 extra deaths a year and $69 billion in annual damages. We are all inter-linked and while nobody admired the ugly vulture it was a great disease firewall that evolution had spent millions of years building and one generic painkiller nearly erased in ten.
Tuesday, September 8, 2026
Crushing Sorcery
More strength to the Tribal Foundation in their fight against sorcery and violence against our women. Good to hear of another conviction under the Glassman Act of a supposed "prayer warrior" There have been 17 successful convictions so far and another 150 pending. But the Foundation needs more government funding to fight this scourge and wipe these lowlife individuals from the face of the earth in PNG. Something in the 2027 Budget would go a long way, Mr Treasurer?
Phones in Prison
We have all seen the TV movies where smuggled phones in prison are illegal. But what is the policy in PNG prisons? The silence has been deafening. Maybe we should give them a call? Perhaps the new Commissioner could make a public statement on his policy? We do not need convicted murderers, rapists and fraudsters communicating with the outside world. Duping vulnerable individuals and girls on chat forums with slop videos on FB, TikTok and Instagram. We do not need them accessing phone banking so they have funds available to ply some nefarious trade inside the walls or bribe prison officers. One supervised call a week to relatives is enough. They are in prison, supposed to be deprived of their rights after all? Tell the public, Commissioner. Do you have a policy? And more to the point, do your officers apply it or are they profiting from providing access?
Give It Back
Somebody on FB has obviously been watching the TV programme "What The British Stole." It has stirred them up to ask for artefacts stolen from PNG during colonial times by "missionaries , mercenaries and misfits". During colonial times anything that could be lifted was taken back to the home lands. The British were the worst, even stealing the Elgin Marbles from the Greek Parthenon. The main culprits for us would have to be the Germans. It's a fair call, but we need to show we can maintain our National Museum in world-class condition before we bring our history home. Our National Museum and Library have had a chequered history maintenance-wise.
From Nigeria With Love
Whatever happened to that Nigerian Princess, Professor Bintu Abu-Bakar who was arrested by Federal Police last year at Brisbane Airport for alleged human trafficking and "modern slavery"? It is alleged her victims who were left stranded in Australia, were organised through the offices of the Member for Moresby North East where she ran many of the programmes for the Members SME loan initiative. Will local and overseas police investigate her association with that office or is this another matter that will be "dismissed" and forgotten?
Are You Eating Properly?
A good diet is the secret to living well . Some tips for you. Eggs are good for the brain. Water is good for the kidneys. Cabbage is good for the liver. Cucumber is good for the skin. Oranges are good for the colon. Carrots are good for the eyes. Ginger is good for the lungs.
Avocado is good for the heart. Fresh tomatoes are good for the prostate. Red bell peppers are good for the lungs. Green beans are good for the bones. Exercise is good for your overall health. And watermelon is good for election so candidates you know what to do.
Reading Other People
Ever wondered what sort of person your colleague or friend is? Consider some of these clues. If someone walks fast, they tend to have a strong sense of purpose. Someone who hums or sings often might be feeling nervous or anxious. If someone fakes a smile a lot, they could be battling inner struggles. People who apologize often may value peace over pride. If someone spends a lot of time alone, they either enjoy solitude or feel misunderstood. Someone who finds it hard to say "no" likely craves acceptance. (https://www.quora.com/ )
Don't Mess With Us Oldies
Older lady fronts her bank and asks to withdraw $500.Teller tells her it's not allowed, and to go use the ATM. Annoyed she instructs the teller she wishes to withdraw all her money . When the teller sees her account had millions in it he says we don't have that much please make an appointment and come back tomorrow. Angry this time she asks how much she can withdraw right now. The answer is $250,000. Give me that then she says . The teller quickly obliges and gives her the cash ?. She puts $500 in her handbag and says she would like to deposit K249, 500 in her account. She then sternly eyeballs the teller, and says "never mess with an old lady just coz she's old. I've had a lifetime dealing with annoying people and silly rules! "
Tuesday, September 8, 2026
Ticking Time bomb?
Governor Ipatas regularly raises the issue of our growing youth bulge. Without hope and meaningful employment, he says they are a ticking time bomb. A recent ILO study has shown that youth unemployment is now beginning to worsen again, leaving millions unable to get that crucial first job. “Creating decent jobs for young people is one of the smartest investments a country can make" the report says. PNG knows the problem. We are still wondering where the directives to lead agencies for all youths to be mobilised from 2023, 2024, and even as recently as 2025 by the PM have ended up in? Election are now upon us and this mobilisation will now shift to votes?
Lift Your Game
A message for PNG Power in Kokopo. Container trucks may be long or short but they are always the same height. Numerous incidents of trucks pulling down power lines in town. Trucks are not going to change so why can't PPL raise the height of their power cables. Would save a lot of money in the long run? Talk about low hanging fruit?
National Book Week
Did you miss Book Week this year? Every year our Education Department seems to lower its focus on this important event. It should not. Every Story Has the Power to Change the World. We should celebrate books that inspire children to believe in themselves, stand up for what is right and discover how their actions can make a positive difference. When was the last time you bought your child a book and not data for the internet on their mobile phones? When was the last time, Daddy read the kids a bedtime story? It is so important!
Cyclone ?Melia
A wonderful programme on TVWAN by our colleagues on the devastating cyclone that hit parts of Milne Bay over Easter. It was harrowing to watch. To be battered, on a flat strip of sand, for eight days by torrential rain and cyclone winds is almost beyond belief. Hard to imagine those stoic island people with their children, huddled in the dark, tired and hungry, no light, no food, no water, all shelter gone and no way to communicate with the outside world and potential help. Wondering, in pitch darkness, if the next big wave will be the one that drowns them. It breaks your heart. Thank you to all those came to their help. But it will happen again. Can the Provincial and National government please ensure they always have the basics of light, water, medicine, shelter and communications available when disaster strikes. Cry the Beloved Country.
Busy Bee ?? ??
To paraphrase Shakespeare, to be a bee or not to be a bee? Where have all the bees gone in PNG? Farmers are starting to complain they need more bees to pollinate flowers and veggies. The honey they produce has a fantastic story. It can keep a person alive for 24 hours as the honey contains live enzymes and a substance that helps the brain function better. It is one of the few foods on the planet that can sustain human life on its own - bees have saved people from starvation in Africa. The propolis produced by bees is one of the most powerful natural antibiotics. Honey has no expiration date and has been found in edible condition in tombs of ancient Egyptian pharaohs. The term "honeymoon" comes from the tradition of spouses after marriage, consuming honey for fertility. A bee lives less than 40 days, visits at least 1,000 flowers, and produces less than a teaspoon of honey, but for her, it's a lifetime of work. That we could all live as harmoniously and productively as the humble bee.
Cutting Costs 1
Cutting down expenses does not mean living a miserable life or giving up everything you enjoy. It means spending more carefully, avoiding waste, and making smarter financial decisions. Some tips for you. Track your spending .
This is one of the simplest but most powerful money habits you can build. Separate needs from wants. It means your needs should always come first, and your wants should fit within your financial limits. Avoid impulse buying . Impulse buying is one of the biggest reasons people struggle to save money.
Cutting Costs 2
Cook more at home. Eating out regularly can be a drain. Cooking more meals at home is one of the easiest and most effective ways to save money. Cancel unnecessary subscriptions you may have forgotten about. They often debit your account without you noticing. Keep only those that add value or search for a free version. Buy quality, not quantity. Over time, repeatedly buying cheap products can cost more than investing in one durable, high-quality item. Set a monthly budget and stick to it-it gives your money a purpose and sets out a plan. That is one of the most important steps toward your financial stability.( https://www.quora.com/ )
Friday, September 4, 2026
A Cure For COVID
Remember the great fanfare during COVID-19?? when a group of academics claimed they were on the trail of a cure for the disease? Enthusiastically encouraged by the Prime Minister himself they managed to secure K10m for their company- not a bad earn for what was predominantly a desktop study. And of course the national flag was flown on high - come on PNG we can do this ourselves. Never mind that some of the biggest, best equipped research Institutions and laboratories around the world were still struggling to find a cure. Where did that money go? What were the outcomes of their studies? We understand one proponent is under criminal investigation but what of the others? Guess it was just another embarrassing charade brushed under that dirty rug ? Sure is getting pretty crowded under that carpet , PNG!
Dodged A Bullet to another
Let's face it the government of the day has to accept responsibility for appointing a clearly inexperienced Minister to the Commerce portfolio. The danger signs were there from day one. Red flags were raised when the Minister stood up in Parliament and was roundly ridiculed for his suggestion that the way out of our financial woes was to go out and borrow billions. Looks like we were lucky to only blow K200m. Now the PM has given him another job closer to the top of the pyramid. This guy could have lead us into financial perdition. We dodged a bullet removing him, but have we just now stepped into the path of another?
SME Funds Probe
The government has commissioned KPMG to conduct the investigation into the K200m missing funds for SME development entrusted to the Department of Commerce. It will be an independent and comprehensive review of the programme, covering its financial management, expenditure, funding allocations, governance arrangements and overall performance. The review will include a financial audit, forensic review, reconciliation and performance assessment to establish a clear and independent picture of where the funds went. Without pre-enpting the report we hope prosecutions follow. Also that the government sees the error of its ways in allowing Commerce to retain a chunk of funds for "administrative purposes. " In future 100% of funds must go through the banks for SME loans as was originally intended!
Fill Me Up
The government's fuel subsidy is a welcome relief for drivers and businesses alike. It now moves into its fifth month and is a credit to the good Treasurer and current government for finding money to subside the cost. But how long can we sustain this? The treasurer has shown how far in the Supplementary Budget handed down in this last session. Previously, a similar programme lasted for 8 months. With the on again off again antics of the unpredictable octogenarian in the White House it look like he wants the Iran War to go all the way to November so he can use it as a pretext to disrupt the Mid-Term Elections which would surely turn his Presidency into a lame duck one for the last two years of its term. Can we hang in there PNG?
Another Minister?
No we are not suggesting another Minister. We already have too many. After the fiasco at the Commerce Department over SME funding there is surely an argument to follow the Aussies and have a separate Minister for Small Business. We would need to cut an existing portfolio - one of that multitude of agriculture Ministers could surely go? Maybe the new Minister could resurrect the promise from a previous Commerce Minister to create 500,000 SME's and one million jobs? How about it, Prime Minister?
Miss The Solar Eclipse ?
Did you miss the solar eclipse? That's probably because it was mainly seen in Europe and the Northern Hemisphere. We will get our very own eclipse in two years time in July 2028. A little tip. Get your eclipse ? glasses now . In Europe there were huge queues outside suppliers with most running out of supply.
The Bar-B-Coup
Our story about a former Police Commissioner attempting to orchestrate a coup from a drunken BBQ at Bomana brought a few wry smiles. It actually happened. Fortunately the call was made on an open Police radio. One diplomatic establishment were monitoring the frequency as usual and quickly whisked the PM to safety. One observer recalls it was a close call and remembers warning his senior colleague not to get involved with his New Ireland brother or things would really get out of hand!
Thursday, September 3, 2026
Traffic lights that never light up in Hagen
Everyone is familiar with the Mt Hagen city's lightless traffic lights of the four lane road from Kagamuga to the city, then to Keltiga junction that never has a single drop of electricity in them to light up the way for traffic in the highlands capital. Legend has it there is a vicious blame cycle that goes around where nobody knows who is supposed to be paying the bills for the upkeep and supply of electricity. The provincial government believes it is the city authority's duty to take care of this, while the city authority argues, it is the provincial government's duty with collection of GST, while some think the District that hosts the city should be involved considering the MP was once the minister responsible for the electricity supplier PNG Power, with one insider at the power joint suggesting they would not dare ask. Arounnnd and around we go...??
Committed to Women ♀️
For 50 years of Independence we have ignored the position of women in our society. What has this big man mentality brought us? The most progressive countries in the world are either led by women or have substantial numbers of females in their parliamentary assemblies. Women hold up half of the earth yet we leave them powerless, marginalised, and beasts of burden in rural areas. Every politician or prominent man talks a great story about how they value the women in their lives. But it is just "tok win" -they have no intention of relinquishing power to that "valued woman." We support the calls by activist, Dorothy Tekwie, for a separate, standalone Women's Ministry. We do not need yet another Ministry, there are plenty of redundant Ministries that could be dropped to create this vital function. If we do not reset this issue, the country is doomed to continue its downward spiral of male dominance and aggression for another 50 years . Vote for a woman in NGE2027 to save PNG!
We Support Women
It is a common chant these days as party leaders try to establish their credentials with the women voters. But the reality is it is all rhetoric and stardust. Let us see how many female candidates they support financially in NGE2027? Very few we suspect. Holding on to power is the name of the game and if a female candidate risks that she quickly becomes collateral damage. The ruling PANGU, even though it has the numbers, is just as guilty as the other parties. So much for supporting women! Wonder if they will repeat the betrayal in 2027? Female voters be on alert!
Powerful Women
As we approach another election facing the real possibility of a Parliament without women in it, we should consider Mari Korbelva, later known as Madeleine Albright, former US Secretary of State, and one of the most powerful women on the planet at the time. An emigrant who unknown to her lost her grandparents and countless relatives in Auschwitz and Treblinka during the Holocaust. She fought tirelessly for women and felt it was her duty to lift women up. She famously said, "There is a special place in hell for strong women who do not help other women". Let us hope the election throws up women of Albright's character!
Show Us Your Money
Reports from Australia say One Nation leader Pauline Hansen is now worth around $30 million. How do you go from selling fish and chips to that sort of wealth? Would be a good question to ask someone of our Members. A register of everyone's assets and wealth is supposedly with the Ombudsman but the public never sees that. Be nice to know how much your prospective candidate has before voting for him or her?
Government Support Solar?
We wait to hear what solutions the new PPL Minister has in the renewables sector. Will he be a Trump Luddite condemning "windmills" or wind turbines? How about intervention like solar battery subsidies for home owners? In some provinces it amounts to 30% of the total cost. If not homes, how about subsidising government offices, hospitals and clinics, police stations and schools to encourage them to install alternative energy installation?
Guess That's Service?
Fellow in Australia decided to try an Artificial Intelligence flight app to book his flight to Canberra. All went well. Until he was told the AI had gone above and beyond the call of duty and level of service. Seems the flight was actually over booked but the AI computer did not see that as a problem. It then went rogue, cancelled another person's booking and confirmed its own passenger. Scary stuff!
Reduce unmarked police vehicles
While we applaud the donation of a large number of police vehicles by the Japanese Government recently, we must urge the police hierarchy to ease off on the use of unmarked vehicle hires or police vehicle without any visible markings that are commuting our city roads, unless on special assignments or units. If the lessons of the large heist that took place this week is any indicator. We do not know who is police and who is not, because anyone holding a high powered rifle can claim and gesture in an authoritative way to any one to open their doors or wind their windows down. There is a security risk now and it begins in the force and its unmarked vehicles. Off to you Mr Commissioner.
Build Me A Bridge
The ubiquitous Bailey bridge is widely used in rural PNG. They are a cheap, efficient solution and can be erected quickly. They are a real boon in remote areas. But how much do they really cost these days? Did we see one opened in Morobe that cost K9. 5 million? The span was 72 metres which works out to be K125, 000 a metre. Maybe that's right but the problem with too many of these projects funded by local DDA's is that there is little or no scrutiny on the procurement and implementation processes. Could the Auditor General have a look? We need to know if the people got value for money or not?
No Trains in PNG?
Did we see a recent report that the government was looking into trains as a viable transport system? Why not? It is how most of Europe was revolutionized. It was how the West was won. Couldn't we ask China to extend their Belt and Road concept to a link from Lae into the Highlands? There are already hundreds of Chinese traders there waiting for a reliable supply route.They have just developed an experimental magnetic levitation train that has set a new world record for acceleration: 800 km/h from zero in just 5.3 seconds, and then smoothly stopped in approximately 200 meters thanks to an advanced braking system. We don't need one of those, but one of their older models would be fine!
UPNG Fees
We trust the UPNG administration is handling the, so far mooted, protest about increases in the basic fee. Changes seem to be moderate and certainly in line with the current inflation and economic circumstances. All businesses are under pressure, and the university is a business too. We hope the students do not use this as a pretext to derail current changes which can only be to their benefit. The VC has already shown he is sensitive to the strains increased fees place on low income families and those from remote and disadvantaged areas. He has also pointed to HELP and a substantial injection into this by the Treasurer will certainly show government commitment to struggling families. We hope all can work together on the solutions and not ignite the problems!
Seek Medical Help!
Too many of us succumb to heart attacks. Often we have had signs but ignored them. Don't! It is your body giving you a chance to make amends. While there are many different signs that the heart may be in danger, here are a few to watch for. Sudden chest tightness and pain , with sweating and breathlessness, suggests you should get help. Swelling in the whole body starting from both legs could suggest heart failure. A sudden bluish discoloration of the body is another sign you should consult a doctor. Decreased exercise tolerance over a period of time, suggests your heart is not able to maintain proper blood flow to the muscles. Don't ignore these signs. Get yourself checked by a certified doctor as soon as possible. You have been warned!
University Land Bank ?
As students debate increased fees some have suggested a mid to long term solution is for the university to promote itself by selling its considerable expertise to business and government. For example research schools in major universities raise millions from such ventures. Also the university sits on huge tracts of land at its Waigani Campus. Clearly enough to cede away a large tract of it to the controversial new SILAG University ?. Can this land not be mobilised for one of these new innovation-based Special Economic Zones? Could land not be used for gated residential estates, in partnership with the billions held by our ever reliable and trustworthy superfunds? Or how about an agriculture-based SEZ JV producing produce, giving students hands on farming experience, for local and universoty consumption, and perhaps an export opportunity into the Pacific region? Lots for the Council to consider and another income stream surely would not go amiss? Former alumni could offer expertise to get such ventures off the ground.
Too Many Chiefs?
It's the trending joke on our NRL team, the Chiefs. "Hope we don't have too many Chiefs and not enough Indians. " With the signing of "Governor" Brian To'o, the pacy winger from Penrith, rumours are flying that Nathan Cleary, will join the tribe soon. He has already been invited into the KiraKira teepee, and smoked the peace pipe with her dad, by the lovely, Mary Fowler, so Bro Nathan is already half way in. He would have to be elevated to Paramount Chief status however. Time for the PM to get to work and sign him up!
Tuesday, September 1, 2026
The caged transports of Green Gold
At first sight, one gets confused about these opened back trucks that have what appears to be cages welded around them as they are driven along the Kagamuga 4-Lane road from Mt Hagen City. To the locals they are just a means for commerce of the lucratively traded green gold of betelnuts that are freighted up from the coastal growing regions. The story behind the cages is one of security. The trade is so lucrative with bags costing between K150 to K250 that theft along steep sections of the journey have become all too common along the journey up to the heart of markets like Okapena betelnut market. Over time these cages were welded to the sides of these trucks to avoids bags being literally pinched out of the exposed sides of the truck frames. Even buyers have been guilty of the security initiative as well when they rush to quickly take possession of the bags in pursuit of their retail endeavours. How the heavy bags are picked up in the one motion is a story for another day, but when you next see them in Hagen, you now know it is for the Green Gold supply line into the region.
Respect
The PM has responded to the unfair visa bond system being imposed on travellers to the US. He has encouraged travellers to respect the "conditions and duration" of their visa. At K90,000 a pop, that is really not too hard to do. But doesn't respect cut both ways? What PNG traveller in their right mind would risk the vagaries of a migration policy and ICE of the US? Maybe the State Department could release the figures on PNG over-stayers? We suspect it is almost zero? So how about that old, well tried migration policy - reciprocity? We pay to go there, you pay the same to come here? Seems fair to us? That's respect, Mr Prime Minister.
Too Many Graduates?
Lots of heated comment on the possibility of a university for that already entitled class, the public servants. Many have dreamed over the years of an university precinct at the end of Waigani Drive. Imagine it, UPNG, ADCOL and National Research all combined under one consolidated administration. Critics who say we don't need another university point to the host of unemployed graduates driving taxis in Port Moresby. Can't be all bad. Being able to chat to an educated taxi driver on the state of the world, on your way to work, as he sips on his low fat latte , nibbles his chocolat croissant ? and plays the stock market ??
Fiscal Shackle Law
Argentina may not have won the World Cup but they could be on to a winner with their latest law. President, Javier Millei , just introduced a law that says if politicians run a deficit ,they stop getting their pay. No salaries for public officials, from the President down to members of Congress, until the budget is balanced. He declares public office was never supposed to be a lucrative career for self serving characters . It was meant to be a civic duty and an obligation. The "Fiscal Shackle Law " finally forces accountability. If politicians don't do their job, they pay the price, not the taxpayers. How about it PNG? Surely a winning platform to take to NGE2027?
Remembering The Past
As Milne Bay prepares to open its new Gurney International Airport on 21st August the question of the existing monuments at the old airport have been raised. They say you have to remember the past to see your future. So what is to happen to the 40mm Bofors Light anti-aircraft gun and the monument for the Fall River No. 1 Strip ? They were presented on the 50th anniversary of the BOMB in 1992 by the Royal Australian Army Ordnance Corps Museum. They are part of the history and soul of Gurney. Trust they will be given some place of honour in the new building? Lest We Forget!
Health Advice For The Aged 1
Normally the following advice would be for the octogenarians among us but as few make it that far in PNG we will wind it back to a more realistic 60 years. Here's the agenda. Walk every day, even slowly - movement is medicine, and stillness is a real killer. Lift light weights or use resistance bands - muscle loss is what steals independence, not age. Eat half of what you used to, but twice the protein - your body needs strength more than calories. Drink water even when you’re not thirsty - dehydration is the hidden cause of confusion and falls. Sleep like it’s therapy - poor sleep destroys memory, immunity, and balance.
Health Advice For The Aged 2
Check Vitamin D, B12, and Omega-3 levels - most seniors are dangerously deficient without knowing it. Cut sugar like it is poison - it feeds inflammation, diabetes, and dementia. Socialize often - loneliness kills faster than smoking. Train your balance daily - a single fall can change the rest of your life. Protect your hearing and vision - losing them steals your brain’s sharpness. Eat colorful vegetables and fruits - your cells repair themselves when you feed them right. Practice your deep breathing - oxygen is the cheapest anti-aging therapy. Do puzzles, read, and learn - brains age when they’re not challenged. Stop sitting for long hours - sitting is the new smoking, at any age. And laugh more - the world is a crazy place so there's lots to laugh at. Laughter lowers stress and boosts immunity. There you have it. Now go out and do it and you should live till you're 80, Bubu!
Monday, August 31, 2026
Primitive Supporters 1
Yes, we said it: primitives do live among us when it comes to supporting teams in this country, as we all saw the actions of a handful of deranged individuals taking out the loss of a team not related to anything they have ever done, but existing only in their heads during the DE Cup finals game over the weekend at the National Football Stadium in Port Moresby. While people with the same mental issues were fast to give their two-sided coin opinions about their primitive passion being provoked by the supporters from the other team that won, this was one of the most pathetic excuses on the face of Port Moresby's national football stadium's reputation as the venue for our NRL Chiefs. Now the video will be played for hours upon hours by the naysayers of our team in the press and over social media overseas who all look for ammunition to bring down the formation of the Chiefs here, before the team has even run onto the pitch for game one in 2028.
Primitive Supporters 2
What can we say but our usual excuse of passion, which is taken to primitive levels by some of us. It will take a lot of leadership from the PNGRFL and PNGNRL to fix/prevent this alongside our law enforcers and security arrangements when people do not accept losses from both sides of the PNG Chiefs and the diehard support from other visiting teams within the NRL competition. This on the back of the recent game in Goroka. A huge thank you to the majority of those who stood in or defended the supporters from the opposing team, alongside those who just watched. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR VIOLENCE IN THE GAME, both on and off the field. Fix the local NRL competition with harsh examples and statements of actions before we take on our inaugural season in the world's toughest rugby league competition. ENOUGH!
Follow The Rules
Building regulations are there for a purpose. Public safety. Lax rules means lax buildings and we have all seen the horrific collapses worldwide when rules are not followed. PNG follows Aussie regulations so has been lucky there has never been a fatal building failure. The Works Secretary, in announcing new Building Regulations, has warned developers rules must be followed. He particularly singled out politicians who often pressure local authorities to let their pet projects through. No more. Fines are now extreme and will apply. If need be, issues should end up in court. Sorry, but they are the rules.
Fiscal Shackle Law
Argentina may not have won the World Cup but they could be on to a winner with their latest law. President, Javier Millei , just introduced a law that says if politicians run a deficit ,they stop getting their pay. No salaries for public officials, from the President down to members of Congress, until the budget is balanced. He declares public office was never supposed to be a lucrative career for self serving characters . It was meant to be a civic duty and an obligation. The "Fiscal Shackle Law " finally forces accountability. If politicians don't do their job, they pay the price, not the taxpayers. How about it PNG? Surely a winning platform to take to NGE2027?
Health Advice For The Aged 1
Normally the following advice would be for the octogenarians among us but as few make it that far in PNG we will wind it back to a more realistic 60 years. Here's the agenda. Walk every day, even slowly - movement is medicine, and stillness is a real killer. Lift light weights or use resistance bands - muscle loss is what steals independence, not age. Eat half of what you used to, but twice the protein - your body needs strength more than calories. Drink water even when you’re not thirsty - dehydration is the hidden cause of confusion and falls. Sleep like it’s therapy - poor sleep destroys memory, immunity, and balance.
Health Advice For The Aged 2
Check Vitamin D, B12, and Omega-3 levels - most seniors are dangerously deficient without knowing it. Cut sugar like it is poison - it feeds inflammation, diabetes, and dementia. Socialize often - loneliness kills faster than smoking. Train your balance daily - a single fall can change the rest of your life. Protect your hearing and vision - losing them steals your brain’s sharpness. Eat colorful vegetables and fruits - your cells repair themselves when you feed them right. Practice your deep breathing - oxygen is the cheapest anti-aging therapy. Do puzzles, read, and learn - brains age when they’re not challenged. Stop sitting for long hours - sitting is the new smoking, at any age. And laugh more - the world is a crazy place so there's lots to laugh at. Laughter lowers stress and boosts immunity. There you have it. Now go out and do it and you should live till you're 80 , Bubu !
Friday, August 28, 2026
Why The Rush?
The Minister for Information has opened public consultation on three landmark, priority digital reform bills aimed at strengthening Papua New Guinea's cybersecurity, data protection and digital identity systems. Consultations have commenced on the Data Governance and Protection Bill, Cybersecurity and Critical Infrastructure Bill, and Verifiable Credentials Bill. An additional two draft amendments to the controversial Cybercrime Code Act 2016 and the National Information and Communication Technology Act 2009 will also be released for public consultation. The Government will expedite the development of social media legislation. The five-bill package will align our laws with the Budapest Convention on Cybercrime, which the country only formally joined three months ago on May 6, 2026. This is all necessary but given the abuse of current cybercrime legislation we need to take a seriously close look at all of these reforms. The public needs time to comment on such a body of information. So why the rush to table it in the September session, Minister? Do we really believe that our 118 Members are feverishly poring over the documents as we speak? We'd hope they will even read them, never mind understand them. So with insufficient scrutiny, and for good or bad, these bills will be rammed through by Parliament in September. Six weeks for such radical laws is clearly not enough time, Minister! Why the rush? Reconsider your timeline, please.
??Surfs Up!
The PNG Surfing Association has reported on the success of 15 year old Australian surfer, Luana Matthies. Of mixed Pacific and New Ireland lineage she recently won the Australian Open Womens' Longboard title at Tweed Heads. Her father Eddie Matthies' family proudly traces their roots back to Bilas Ples. Luana's rise has been meteoric and the win gets her into the National Team for the ISA World Longboard Championships in El Salvador next year, 2027 . Surfs up! Go girl! PNG Proud! Hopefully her success will encourage more young PNG women to get out and catch a wave ?
Thank You, Donald!
Most countries around the world consider the United Nations an essential organisation. The Orange Menace does not and is holding the body to ransom by witholding US funding. PNG is a member nation. UN Secretary-General António Guterres has issued a dire warning: "the United Nations is on the brink of total collapse" if the United States, which contributes approximately $2.2 billion to the regular budget alone, does not give to the UN. Just another craziness from the crazed octogenarian at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Taxi Driver
The great British statesman, Sir Winston Churchill, took a taxi to the BBC in London ?? one day . He asked the driver to wait for him as he would not be long. The taxi driver apologized and said he couldn't because he had to get home to listen to the PM's address in the radio. He clearly had not recognized his fare. So impressed was Churchill he gave the man ten pounds and asked him to reconsider. Happily grabbing the money the taxi driver said, " thank you sir, for ten pounds Churchill can go to hell! "
Unruly Politics
British voters in Clacton, England are complaining they are faced with a ballot paper that has 34 candidates on it. The right-wing Reform Party is seen as a major threat to the traditional parties. But also on trial is Party Leader, Nigel Farage, who has put his reputation on the line after refusing to give details of a mystery £5m donation . There have been pushes in PNG for candidates and parties to advise who is funding them before NGE2027. There must be done rules you would think but authorities have have been conspicuously silent on the matter. Why? Should we be concerned?
Glasgow Is Miles Better
Glasgow's Commonwealth Games obviously struck the hearts of some of the competitors. Athletes from Uganda and Pakistan stayed behind and are claiming asylum. We assume all our PNG athletes came home -after all it is bloody cold in Scotland ???????. But an interesting sidebar to the Ugandan story. One athlete, the grandson of former bloody dictator Idi Amin Dada left early after he was disqualified. Clearly he had no intentions of becoming The Last King of Scotland like his bubu!
Thursday, August 27, 2026
New Financial System
On July 14th the government pushed through the most radical change ever to PNG's financial system. The PM says it is to avoid duplication with DoF now in charge of issuing warrants, not Treasury. But in essence it removes the most basic financial control a country can have. Now the body that decides where funds go, is also the body who releases the funds. A check and balance simply disappears. How this will sit with the FATF and our grey listing is yet to be tested. On the face if it, removing any financial check and balance does not seem like a good idea. The question also remains whether the move is somehow related to public fund movement leading up to NGE2027?
Question of The Day
With all the major changes to our financial system rammed through without constructive debate, the main question now is " who, checks Finance? "
Eat Your ???Vegetables
It's coming! Slowly but surely this Super El Nino continues its inexorable advance. Are we ready, PNG? Already fresh food wholesalers in the Highlands are experiencing severe shortages in supply of popular veggies like English and Chinese cabbage, capsicum, broccoli, beans, celery , avocados and cauliflower. This trade is the lifeblood of many families in the region. Without that income how will they survive?
Six Laws of Money
1) Money does not come to people who want it. The money comes to those people who really deserve it. 2) Money does not stay with people who earn a lot of money. It stays with people who are wise about how they spend their money. 3) The money can be a thing for you. It can help you but the money can also make you do things you do not want to do. It can make you serve money. 4) When you have a lot of money you should save some of it because the money you save will help you when you really need the money. 5) If you love money too much it will change you and you could lose the attributes that make you a good person. 6) No matter how much money you have it will never be enough! You will always want more things and you will always have needs and the money will never be enough to buy everything you want and need. Now you know!
A Different Look
A recent ABC special highlighted serious issues with the seasonal work programme in Australia. They described workers as basically " modern slaves"! They featured one PNG worker who spent up to 12 hours a day picking fruit and vegetables, earning less than $7 an hour then returning to overcrowded, squalid accommodation. He had become almost suicidal , feeling trapped in a system where labour hire contractors controlled almost every aspect of his life, his work, his pay and, ultimately, his future. If he got sick or injured, he didn't get paid and without regular work, he couldn't afford to eat. A salutary tale for anyone considering a high paid seasonal job in our nearest neighbour. Sure there are good employers down there who treat workers well ,but it is the job of our Labour Unit here to ensure we send workers only to good and trust worthy operators. Sounds like more vetting is needed! PNG workers should never be treated as slaves!
Question of the Day
Here in PNG, is it really fair to convict black people for white-collar crime?
Wednesday, August 26, 2026
Know Hubby's Password?
Don't mean to be morbid but if you dropped dead tomorrow could your family cope? The vast number of families would not be able to access a single thing you own digitally. Bank accounts, passwords, cloud storage, all of it locked away. Think about it. Do something about it -TODAY!
Only In PNG?
There have been some silly decisions made in PNG during our short time as an independent country. One was when a Police Commissioner got drunk at a BBQ at Bomana, got on an open radio and encouraged his officers to meet him in Boroko to arrest the sitting Prime Minister, of the day. It became known as the Bar-B- Coup! Incredibly, he later became Minister for Defence in the next government. In a similar vein how are things at one of our agencies of law enforcement. Has the new boss settled in? Must be rather uncomfortable in the office working with who did not want his accension to the top of the organisation. Only in PNG!
What's In a Name?
Many cities are resurrecting the traditional names for their streets -some even have the English name and the local language on their signs. Imagine if we used the rich legacy of our Motu Koitabu tongue. We already know Elan Beach is Era Kone home of the turtle. Konedobu is - Kone (beach) and dobu (deep). HB or Hanuabada is the Big Village. While Porebada is a Large Sandbank. Before street signs, trees or bird roosting spots guided the way.Who knew Boroko, Budoa, Gaga, Hodava, Gavera, Geakone or Koukou were tree place names?
Some places were connected to birds ? like Bisini, Gobu, Kaekae, Kauage, Kibi, Kitogara , Kivivi, Turua, Koisere or Turumu. So how about using more of these names from the beautiful Motu Koitabu languages?
Congrats NCD Command
Within an hour of reports of armed men fighting at Eden Estate at Eight Mile on the weekend Police responded in force . The culprits were disarmed, forced half naked into Paddy wagons and dragged off to kalabus. Photographs were all over social media. Well done! This is what we expect of our Police Force. Swift, retributive response and punishment. We need such action from Police in every province, Mr Prime Minister. Give our bits in blue the tools to deliver and we are sure the force will be with you and the nation as a whole!
Charming Not Disarming 1
Lots of nice, charming sound bites and rhetoric floating around from the new Police Minister about this gun amnesty. It ends in September. But has it worked? Where are the pictures of piles of surrendered weapons? And after amnesty, will we see our, new gun laws, with their draconian penalties, being enforced? Hardly likely when our Police and Army are still out-gunned out there in the still troubled provinces.
Charming Not Disarming 2
We need to go hard on this issue, but the signs are not encouraging. The Singirok Gun Report was 25 years ago! The sad truth is, the guns and power remain in the hands of the very people who rule and run our country! No way they are going to relinquish that power on the eve of a National Election. Cry the beloved country!
Hotel Gilgal impressive
The new standard in Mt Hagen City's hospitality bar has been set with the recent opening of Hotel Gilgal. Our senior scribe in town was blown away with the facilities available for the traveler. 90 rooms, conference, multiple restaurants, gym, bars, independent water, power supplies, and self sustaining set up. The city of Mt Hagen is experiencing a economic boom is business activity, taking advantage of what has always been its greatest asset, being the crossroad to the highlands and what it has to offer as a hub both on land and sea. Our hats off to the owner and staff of the magnificent facility. We are intrigued to know more about you and the rest of the city.
Be Safe At Sea 1
NMSA really has to be resourced adequately by national and provincial governments to step up in this horrific slaughter on our seas. The law says all dinghies should have an identifying number. Police and maritine officials need to get tough. The law is being ignored! Seize all dinghies until they comply with the law. One Milne Bay Member gave his 88 councillors dinghies and motors over a year ago. Were they ever registered with NMSA? What condition are they in now? Who is actually operating them? We need a harsh regime! When you register you must show sufficient supply of life jackets, and adequate safety equipment on board... continues in the link.
Be Safe At Sea 2
No equipment, no registration, dinghy seized and held till you comply with the law! The rules to operate a vehicle on our public roads are expensive and comprehensive- a sefti sticker, registration, insurance are compulsory . Why are the rules at sea so lax -it is technically much more dangerous! Dinghies are vehicles. Most are run as businesses. Yet there are no rules! We have been playing Aquaman for too long! This gung-ho attitude is costing lives -and plenty of them! What government can allow that to continue?
How Much For Jomard?
Seems to be all about global trading chokepoints these days. Egypt charges between $200,000 and $700,000 for each transit through the Suez Canal; for large container ships or tankers, the amount can exceed $1 million. Turkiye charges transit fees for the Istanbul Strait.Canada charges fees for the St. Lawrence Seaway. Panama collects between $100,000 and $450,000 for each transit; the cost for the large Neopanamax vessels passing through the Panama Canal can reach $500,000. The United States charges fees for the St. Lawrence Seaway. Iran now wants to charge fees in the Straits of Hormuz, even though historically they never did. So how much should PNG charge for a transit of Milne Bay's Jomard Passage?
Proactive sea regulation 1
The recent spate of tragic accidents at sea ?have raised many issues. It is clear the government is going to have to be proactive and intervene in safety at sea. Local communities use huge amounts of fuel and effort in uncoordinated searches. One thing the authorities can do is to strictly enforce NMSA registration. When they register, the NMSA must attach a permanent, waterproof GPS tracking device to the boat - like an AIS "Sea-Tracker". NMSA can then look at a screen, see the exact blinking dot, and send help straight to them turning an impossible search into a fast rescue.
Proactive sea regulation 2
Any boats or dinghies that are found to be unregistered must be immediately grounded, and boat owners must be charged or heavily penalized. Repeated failure should result in dinghies being holed or vessels scuttled. During poor weather police should remove the outboard motors from unscrupulous operators and seize them . Operators who drink or ignore safety measures and have an accident should then be permanently banned from the transportation industry.We have breathalysers on the road, Time to also have them at main dinghy departure points. We must do something now. Already over 40 lives have been lost. How many more must we tolerate?
Monday, August 24, 2026
KK Paradise, Hagen's King Kakaruk precinct
King Kakaruk's Boroko has always had a signature mention by all, satirically, controvertially , and seriously when it comes to the night life in POM. But there are more than one of these types of places around the country. One such example we will introduce to you is Mt Hagen City's very own version of this paradise. That is KK Paradise, almost uncanny situated next to the citys main police station, one could have sworn the location and set up is earilly the same. It runs 24 hours a day, 365 days a year feeding the public goods, both good and bad. When you next in Hagen, for all ye faithful of King Kakaruk, be sure to stop by at KK.
Stop Importing Food! 1
Those are the calls on social media again. Posts are blasting imports of ?garlic, ?carrots,?lemons,?strawberries,?onions, potatoes, cabbage, and tomatoes etc. Why is this so they ask when we grow all of them here? The answer? Because we simply do not produce enough to meet consumer demand, so of course, retail and wholesale operators are forced to import. A ban is not the way. The last time a Minister tried that, it was a total flop. He gave sole distribution to a bunch of people who had no actual resources, vehicles or infrastructure and were selling vegetables from an airport warehouse for cash! What a joke! No, the answer is for the government, DAL and our multitude of agricultural agencies to get off their backsides and do their jobs.
Stop Importing Food! 2
Support farmers to step up production, mechanize their farms, if need be, and smooth the broken roads to market. These much lauded Special Economic Zones should focus on agriculture -if need be, by attracting foreign JV's or local financial institutions like our superfunds. We have foreign governments ready to help with decades of experience and know how - China will always be there (although they do prefer to fry bigger fish) , India (although we seem reluctant to talk to them?) and looks like we have blown the deal with Taiwan? YES WE CAN , PNG. Reset this PNG! Sorry, just not with this cabal of ineffective, paper farmers and bureaucrats!
Somare University
Why the rush these days? Is it something to do with NGE2027? Are people rushing when they can because they fear a change of power. Case in point is this new. While many question the very need for a separate university on the old ADCOL site instead of a standalone Public Service Training Institute as a school of UPNG. The head of the institution wants to transition to a full university by 2027. That is an extremely optimistic timetable. There, are years of administrative requirements and statutory compliance hurdles to be jumped before an institution can call itself a university. Why now? Why was this move not contemplated before when there was a Secretary or Board at Higher Education? Let us see the full independent, international assessment normally invoked in such circumstances, highlighting the current status and what needs to be done within a reasonable timetable? Dreams are dreams, and the management is allowed to have them, but this is not about his legacy, it is the country's. They must follow the rules of the Higher Education Act and do this properly.
Doctor Heal Thyself
Congratulations to Hela Provincial Health Authority Dr. James Kintwa who were ranked Top Performing PHA in the country in 2025 by PNGNDoH . The top six spots were all taken by Highlands Provinces except Jiwaka , followed by ENB and Morobe. Disappointing to see Milne Bay at 13th , Gulf at 16th and Central at 18th . But hard to fathom why NCD would be 15th in a national ranking-something for the Governor to address (it can't be money, there's plenty, in an almost billion Kina annual Budget) And inevitably, non-performers bringing up the rear, Manus, Oro and Western. So now you know where to get sick!
Guess That's Service?
Fellow in Australia decided to try an Artificial Intelligence flight app to book his flight to Canberra. All went well. Until he was told the AI had gone above and beyond the call of duty and level of service. Seems the flight was actually over booked but the AI computer did not see that as a problem. It then went rogue, cancelled another person's booking and confirmed its own passenger. Scary stuff!
