capslocknano

IS ANYONE ELSE GETTING EXCITED ABOUT THE FIRST NANO OF THIS DECADE COMING UP IN JUST A FEW SHORT MONTHS?

NEEDS MORE TYPING AND MORE OFTEN

ATTENTION EVERYONE, IT'S guardian_erin'S BIRTHDAY! WOOO! SHE IS THE EPITOME OF CAPSLOCK AND SHOULD HAVE A FANTABULOUS DAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAE! HOPE IT'S GRAND!

THIS PLACE IS MISSING SOMETHING BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT

OH WAIT YES I CAN BECAUSE I AM AMAZING

THIS PLACE NEEDS SOME UNIPORN AND LUCKY FOR YOU I AM PROVIDING!




"YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?" ROBERTA THE FAT CYAN UNICORN ASKED AS SHE CHEWED ON A FLOATING COMET MADE OF LARD.

"YOU TO GO IN THE KITCHEN MAKE ME A SAMMICH?" CHARLES THE MAGENTA DESTROYER GUESSED AS HE PLOWED ROBERTA FROM BEHIND.

THEIR OBESE STOMACHS ROLLED TOGETHER AND MADE SLAPPING SOUNDS AND THEY BOTH SMELLED LIKE MOIST BACON WHICH WAS DECIDEDLY AROUSING AND MADE CHARLES' HORN HARD AND SLIPPERY.

"GENITALS," ROBERTA DECLARED. SHE WAS SO SMART AND AWESOME BECAUSE UNICORNS ARE AWESOME.

"GENITAAAALLLLLSSSSSS" CHARLES REPEATED AND THEN BEGAN RAEPING ROBERTA'S EAR WITH HIS PENIS-SHAPED HORN.

"GET OUTTA MY HEAD CHARLES!!!!"

OKAY I DIDN'T WIN YET, BUT I WANTED TO SHOW YOU GUYS THIS EXCELLENT PARAPHERNALIA AND MY STUPID FACE!

ALSO, TODAY I WAS STANDING IN LINE AT THE MAIL ROOM AND WAS ALL SQUEE-EXCITED, AND THEN I HAD TO EXPLAIN WHY I WAS SO EXCITED TO THE GUY NEXT TO ME, AND HE VERY MUCH DID NOT UNDERSTAND.

( HOODIE!!!!!Collapse )

DEAR SWEETHEART,

I LAY AWAKE ALL MILLENIA THINKING OF YOU, YOUR SHITTY SMILE, AND OUR TRYST IN THE TUNDRA. LOUDLY, I RECALL OUR MEETING, HOW MY HEART WIGGLED WITH HAPPINESS WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU. HOW FILTHY YOU LOOKED IN THAT PINK UNDERWEAR AND THOSE TWO FIRM BRASSIERES ON YOUR MOTHER'S BREASTS!

I CHERISHED EVERY MOMENT WE WERE TOGETHER AND WAS JIGGLY WHEN OUR DATE CAME TO A CLOSE. I CAN'T SAY HOW ANGRILY I REGRET SPILLING MENSES ON YOUR TUMMY; YOU WERE SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED ABOUT IT, HOWEVER, FOR WHICH I AM GRATEFUL. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU'RE SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED.

YOU'RE MOIST MOST OTHER TIMES. YOUR EYES ARE LIKE DEEP POOLS OF LAVA, WARMED IN THE MOONLIGHT. YOUR CHEEKS ARE AS ROSY AS ERECTIONS. YOUR LIPS ARE LIKE SUCCULENT CAKES. YOUR HAIR IS RUBY RED LIKE A PINK ELEPHANT ON A SUMMER'S DAY. YOUR ASSES ARE TWO EXTRA EXTRA LARGE ORBS OF LOVE.

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET DRUNK WITH YOU AGAIN. WRITE SOON.

CASTRATINGLY YOURS,

YOUR FRIEND