I'm up to chapter 82 of this "epic saga", and I cannot stop reading. It's like crack. Or like Brian's smack addiction. And I think it can really be best summed up thusly:
But besides all the "romance", there's also HIGH DRAMA. Brian and drugs. Justin and drugs so that he can bond with Brian. Brian and a stalker, who provides drugs for Brian. Justin and an admirer, and you can be sure this is going somewhere that it'll cause problems for Brian and Justin. You know, for the HIGH DRAMA.
Oh, and there's this one part where Justin sees this psychic who shows him the actual s2 plot arc. And Justin freaks out. So that Brian can tell everyone that Justin was bashed at his prom and they're still both totally traumatized.
I've been immersed in bad!fic lately, and today I came across a gem. Literally. It's by author Justin Taylor, ahem, and it's called Once in a Lifetime.
Brian and Justin meet on The Titanic. Brian is an American socialite, sick of his life of so called 'luxury'. Justin is a poor traveling artist wondering where his next meal will come from. Both meet on the maiden voyage, and are thrown into a series of hilarious, heart-felt, and sometimes heartbreaking and lifethreatening situations. will true love prevail even through the sinking of the unsinkable Titanic?
So it's basically a rehash of the movie Titanic with Justin as Leo DiCaprio and Brian as Kate Winslet. In the latest chapter, after some energetic river dancing, Brian gives Justin a large gem necklace, and he wears it like a woman.
Brian reached into his topcoat, pulling something out. “Justin?”
“Yes, Brian?”
Brian kept his hand tightly clasped, hiding what was in his palm. “My mother gave this to me.” He nodded to his hand, still hiding what was inside. “And she told me to give it to someone I cared about.”
Justin looked at him, puzzled at what he was referring to. “She gave you a hand? What did she smack you or something?”
“No…” Brian laughed out. “She gave me this…” and then he opened his hand, showing Justin the jewel beneath.
Justin gasped at the sight of the beautiful gem… it was all so overwhelming. “My word… that’s one big hunk of fortune you got there.”
“I’m guessing that she wanted me to give this to my fiancé when we returned to America… but I cannot.” Brian gazed deeply into Justin’s open pools of blue.
“Well, then… what to do with it.”
“I want you to have it.”
“EXCUSE ME?”
“Well, I wasn’t quite expecting you to freak out in that way.”
“Brian, I… I can’t accept that… it isn’t proper…”
“It is… to me it is.” Brian took the emerald necklace and strung it around Justin's neck, and then took his hands in his own, looking deeply into the blonds eyes, honesty showing through. “I care about you, Justin, and I’d like you to have it.”
Aw. I can't wait for teh sex.
One of the highlights is when Brian, frustrated with his life, takes a crab fork and indulges in a bit of self-mutilation at the dinner table. It also features Chris Hobbes as Brian's future brother in law, oi.
A friend of mine just happened to call me, breaking me out of my stupefied awe. I had been staring at my monitor dumbfounded for what was probably about 5 minutes, following reading this fic. And then it hit me. I didn't just read this fic. I read all 17 chapters of this fic. And it can be summarized as: Evil!Ted ... with Evil!Blake as his sidekick.
I know everyone here is a HUGE fan of Tiff (re: "Human Wasteland", in which Ben 'jokes' about masturbating with a hand that he cuts off of one of his enemies, and Brian gets hung on a meathook 3532642532 times, in-between everyone raping Justin), so imagine my surprise and delight when a quick foray into the bowels of BJFic brings up this charming little number.
In "Family Flaws: Sunshine's Night", we are treated to, in Tiff's own words, EXTREME VIOLENCE, RAPE, AND TORTURE, IF THIS SQUICKS YOU, MOVE ON. This fic includes crucial characters that were introduced in its predecessors which must be read first. Special thanks to http://www.heart-stricken.net/inferno/torture2.html, where I got my medieval torture information. I know I was heartened right away to know that she's done her research. Even if you only skim the first few paragraphs, you will find quotable gems, like the following:
“Daddy’s sadder than Jussin now, huh?”“A different sadness. Dad’s angry-sad. Justin’s…I think he’s broken.”
“A person can break?”
“Sure. Like if you put too much mud in a bucket, and then leave it out in the sun, it’ll crack right?”
“I did that once.” Gus nodded.
“Well when you put too much bad things in a person, they can crack too, only it doesn’t show much on the outside.”
“Mommy taped my bucket when it bwoke.”
“We don’t have people-tape, though.”
“Is Jussin broken fowevah?” The boy asked, tears pooling in his eyes.
And of course, I expect reviewers will take to this one like hot cakes. Already, Arwensong has delivered a most flattering decree: "your writing makes the reader willing to suspend reality and believe in the healing powers of a fisting delivered by one's true love." Isn't that awesome? I think everybody should aspire to compliments like these.
I try not to be too strict here, but lately we've been having problems with people not reading the rules before posting, or choosing to ignore them. So in case you've forgotten or forgot to read them, please take a quick look over ( The RulesCollapse )
If there are any questions or concerns about these or anything else, feel free to ask. Also, please let me know if you have any ideas to increase the number of posts we're getting! I know there's no lack of badfic floating around!
New poster here. This is from my livejournal about a particular parody of bad QAF fanfiction. I don't know if you guys have read it before, maybe being connosseurs, you have, but I thought it'd be a way of introducing myself to your community.
This totally cracked my shit up. There was a Bad Queer as Folk Fanfiction contest on a website and all of the entries are fun to read. This passage from The Pitts made me nearly piss my pants. Justin whimpered at the big load in Brian's pants. Brian's pants were not from the Big Q. "Hey you ook like sunshine." Justin's smile split his face. "I like sunshine. It makes me hard. Ever since I was a teenager and the sun would hit me in the pubic bone. Since then, I like sunshine near my pubic bone." Justin gave a pant. "I'm a virgin! Fuck me!! I have fake ID!" "Fuck the ID!" Brian growled and nipped. Like a rocket, he launched into Justin's mouth. Justin almost gagged his tongue was so insistent. It battled for supremacy of his mouth. With a sigh, he let it win. Brian growled, "You taste like ham." Justin said breathlessly, "I had a ham sandwich for lunch." Justin was so excited he was nauseaus. His stomach was going crazy. Maybe he was pregnant. Excellent.
impressed
amused
confused
accomplished
excited