I felt it again.. except this item it was much stronger and potent.. it was brought on by panic.. everything started surrounding me.. like I was in a bubble on earth.. like I could feel my own gravitational pull.. I walked towards the store entrance and heard people talking in a small group... but they were stifled by the loud buzz of the light in the parking lot.. I knew that that sound wasn't as loud as I percieved and heard it.. it was like my mind was making it much louder for some reason.. amplifying it.. as I walked around I avoided eye contact at all costs.. a woman even came up to me and asked me if I was all right.. how could she tell there was something wrong? I really just didn't feel good.. not sick physically ill.. but mentally and an all over uncomfortable feeling.. it lasted for a few hours then went away.. during the time I thought about killing myself.. but I wasn't depressed.. I wanted to stop these uncomfortable feelings so bad but I just didn't feel depressed.. unusual for me because I think about killing myself every other week.. I got into a desperate mode during this whole ordeal thinking I should just find a cop and leave my car in the parking lot.. I was going to have him drive me to the nearest hospital and get checked into a psychiatric ward.. but I couldn't get myself to.. I kept on getting distracted by thinking about my next appt... all the way on July 11th to get evaluated.. at my request! Isn't that a hoot and hollar.. all I need is something anything! I know there's something wrong and I need it fixed now.. I don't know how much of this I can take! And what if this doctor has no idea what it is and it takes tons of trials and error to get somehting tp help me?
