scarredx

[

mood

|

creative

]

i'm in love.

no problems so far.

but i felt it necessary to post. since i never have before and i am a member. so yes.

howdy.

fiebabe_titania

[

mood

|

sad

]

you know
i am tired of all the pain
of all these tears
i have to cry.

i am tired
of having to crawl under my blaket
to quiet down my moans
to hide myself from reality

sometimes
it's hard to love you
when you turn yourself away
when you run away
from me

it makes me think
how i'm supposed to go on
how am i suppose to be strong
with you

but then again
how can i exist
who would i be
without you-
i can't stop loving you.

panterabear

[

mood

|

lonely

]

http://www.livejournal.com/friends/add.bml?user=panterabear

If you want to add me, just copy and paste the above, I make a number of friends only posts.

But word of warning, I'm a hopeless romantic, and they can be quite sappy sometimes :o)

http://www.livejournal.com/friends/add.bml?user=panterabear

Copy and paste the above if you want to add me.

Take Care,
Nolan

karohi

[

mood

|

loved

]

What if i love you? like,..properly

oneom

endless frustration
gnawing pain
this becomes my life
when I let it

It is unrealistic to think that we could completely see eye to eye, but oh I want it so!! It would be such a relief not to have to defend myself and my beliefs, to constantly explain myself when he already knows damn well where I stand. It could be a petty complaint, but these are really symptoms of a huge problem: and he proves it to me constantly. I can easily turn it around though, and face the paradox:
everything I accuse... is also true about myself!!

Maybe I also pick fights and bite at his hotspots. Maybe I believe that I am right and everyone should think the same as me...
Yes, but I see some differences between he and I, and they aren't pretty. I should be used to having unpopular opinions... but it hurts so much sometimes. He does not seem to respect my thoughts or ability to form my own ideas. He is so cynical and, though that is healthy, it bleeds into very pore of our relationship. Sure, I point out the negatives and often assume the worst - but I have learned this with experience.

Yet, after these repeated conflicts, I let him inside of me. For those few fleeting minutes I really believe that everything will work out... that he really wants to be with me forever. That the passionate look in his eyes is more than animal lust. The truth is that we are not emotionally equal and will probably never be.

I actually find myself realizing lately that I should have cut him off long ago. I still hold it against him that he treated me so wretchedly in the beginning... especially when he still refuses to admit it. Yes, we are much closer and in love now... but we have hardly any of the most important things in common. I am going mad.

My first instincts are to withdraw, to avoid, to curl up inside myself and guard my tender center. I have this reflex with other people too. I can't change him... or anyone.

Sometimes, I feel like no one can see, hear, know me. So, I revert to avoidance. I am safest when I am by myself. And when new people I meet might think I am arrogant or aloof because I don't open up easily, it's really only because I have gone through so much pain. I can pretend comfort and temporarily forget and act genuine and outgoing... but deep down, I am still in the same place: alone.

blackheart_02

[

mood

|

happy

]

I thought I can never be happy...
I thought I can never bare myself
completely to another person.
I thought I'd always be consumed
by my own fears, imprisoned
by my own inhibitions
I thought I can never be wrong
but I was proven otherwise
when you came along...

I am not a believer of forever
and I'll always be...
I know someday you'll be gone
like ashes scattered
to the unchartered beyond
I'll be hurt that I know
but I don't care...

I am happy with you today.

panterabear

[

mood

|

depressed

]

love hurts so much sometimes...

How do you ever know if its real or not.

As far as I can comprehend.. the only way is to pan out and see the future...

There are so many times that people think they are in love.. then later find out.. it was never love in the first place.

So in effect... isn't it possible that it was never there in the first place?

That people want to feel it so bad... that they force themselves to have feelings for people to which they feel nothing for the sake of having a love interest in thier life... to feel whole.... complete...

I am questioning the value of love.. and the meaning...
I am still in love... dont get me wrong...

I just yearn for affection.... attention...

To feel important.... like a priority...

Not just a faceless one of many...

faloola

[

mood

|

hopeful

]

the story: a friend of mine, Jerrod, broke up with his on-again/off-again girlfriend (who used to be my friend) a while back, and still hasn't really gotten over it.

the task: i want to make him a mixed cd of songs that will help him to get over her and realize he's great and will find a new girlfriend in due time.

the problem: i'm coming up short on what songs to use.

the plea: if anyone can please tell me what songs helped them thru a break up, i would be most greatful!! please help a girl to help a friend!

karohi

[

mood

|

lonely

]

Do you know what this is?
no, i dont.., but whatever it is, its very powerful..
have you felt this way before?
oh, i thought i knew.
do you know that i love you now?
oh yes i do.

love is..you've got the softest lips.

you know tht i cannot stay;
yes i know.
it has nothing to do with you or with love;
oh yes it does.
do not call or come around here; do not tell
u kno tht i loved u then; oh well..

Love is. You've got the softest lips
Love is..the touch of your fingertips
Love is..knowing you wont let go

She awakens things that he said he thought were dead
He says, "Are you happy now?" Oh, yes I am...
But when it's over...How then will you feel?
Will you miss those arms that used to go around you?

So she stood there in the hallway, frozen...
In the dark, and her heart broke down,
She cried... she fell to the floor..
One tear...slid across her lips
To the corner of her mouth...(Love is)
And dropped... to the floor (Oh, love is)
You got the softest lips... (Oh, love is)
The touch of your fingertips (Ooh, she says love is)
Knowing you wont let go
..love is..
watching you go...

You're so very powerful...
Love is...What you believe it is, I know...(I know...)
Am I happy? Yes, I am...
Do I know you love me now? Yes, I do...
Do I know you cannot stay? I know...
All about love...Love is..

princessodi

[

mood

|

lonely

]

my timid little heart is a jealous one. my boyfriend has these two best buds, one is was his first girlfriend and the other was just a former crush. i'm so jealous. but i like them both too. am i right to feel this way?

panterabear

[

mood

|

lonely

]

My name is Nolan... and until just recently... I didnt know anyting about love. I lived my whole life (and I guess technically still have) without ever being in a relationship. Becasue I never felt anything for anybody, I was a very sad, angry guy, and it just got worse as the years went on.
Then, when I finally found someone I thought I could love, it turned out to be nothing more than a horrible mistake on my part... but because of how I felt.. I had the hardest time letting go.. no more how poorly i was treated...
So I was used for two years... used for money, and as an emotional crutch whenever nobody else wanted her. I was there when she would get screwed over time and time again.
After this... I just went numb to everything, and systematically began destroying myself, and thought love did not exist... but one girl, that tried to help me through that whole situation.. was there the whole time.
And I knew.. that I was falling in love with her, but I was doubting love... and I didnt want to admit to myself that I was feeling it again...
I didnt want to make myself vulnerable again....
and when I finally went to tell her how I felt... she was living with someone else.
I was crushed... but... it was more than just a jealousy... I couldnt get her out of my mind... and through it all she continually said she felt the same about me. But it just hurt, becasue I thought I would never get a chance to be with her, and I finally found this feeling that I've been looking for and waiting for my entire life.

But now... things are finally starting to come together for the two of us... I go to visit her quite a bit, I've opened up to her more then I've ever opened up to anybody in my entire life.. and a whole new side of myself has evolved from it. Feeling I havent felt since I was a child...

Over the years I have grown very cold to affection, but even the smallest things from her affect me deeply, just... holding her agins me, feeling her warmth.. intrelocking hands... sleeping side by side... running my hand down her cheek and thorugh her hair... has just filled this hole inside of me I thought would be empty foerever.
And.. sex doesnt even really matter.. I mean, shes extremely attractive to me... but I slept by her side for a week and was completely content with that... i loved the fact that she could feel comfortable with me. and if it did happen, it would be so meaningful... i cant even find the words to describe....

All of this is very new to me... but I am quite sure that for the first time in my very isolated existance, I am in love.
My angel has changed my life in many ways... and awoken parts of me I thought were dead forever.
I'm sorry about the long post... and thank you to anyone whom took the time to read it.

songofasiren

[

mood

|

lonely

]

hey all, i'm new. i was feeling told that i'm hard to love so i wrote a poem.


Three nights ago I tried to cry
I should’ve tried a little harder
To break down the wall I built
I burned the evidence, threw away the pain
But I saved the ashes and I wear them in my hair
Eurydice hasn’t woken up yet
And Orpheus is already gone

Last night I tried to cry again
I should’ve tried a little harder
To beat down the demons
I burned the soul, threw away the ache
But I kiss the ashes and lock them in my box
Eurydice is left all alone
And Orpheus never came at all